emme99

Glad you made it through and are doing better Bob

bobdrop

Thanks Emme!

canguy

....onya Bob.
Know how hard that can be.
If it was there in the cupboard.....dunno, I could maybe cave sometimes if it was just there.

On we go.....

bobdrop

Thanks class! You guys are awesome! You know, I kept sitting there thinking, is 1 night gonna kill me? I had several different rationalizations that it would be OK. I did eat chocolate The things that had me so down that led to this, I do need to put some thought into........tomorrow

bobdrop

Thanks Canguy! Wife drinks. Isn't usually an issue, but didn't help tonight.

Dee74

It might end up that way Bob.

You;re on the right road and doing great - don't let yourself be convinced into doubling back...its a road to nowhere.

D

bobdrop

Good morning class. Day 51. Whew! Never want to have a day like that again. Thanks to all again. You're the best, and very caring people! Almost feel hungover this morning. Isn't that strange? Stomach is a little upset over all the food and chocolate

Off to another week. Hope everyone is doing good and hopefully have a great, and yes, a warm week

PalmerSage

Awesome Bob, way to pull through. You can remember that the next time you're challenged...you're stronger now than you were before!

xxxNICHOLExxx

Hey y’all
Thought I’d say I hope y’all having a freaking awesome day!!!!! I was thinking about y’all!!!!
So... I randomly got into a weird mood probably my mood disorder but I feel like everything is pretty pointless right now nothing matters and I don’t even know why I’m trying or even why I’m on here usually I’d drink and pace myself until 10pm then down a whole bunch until I black out but I’m trying to stay away from that path for some reason I got the shakes it’s hard to hold the phone steady probably from getting worked up haven’t figured out how to handle these problems fully yet but usually a walk helps but it’s raining or listening to music but it’s beyond that right now I hate these moments is drinking really worth it I won’t feel anything for now.....Or should i feel the emotions and try and work through it???? But if nothing matters what’s the point???? Guess that’s something for me to think about I know tomorrow be a different day so maybe hold on with everything I got until the feeling goes away... idk little confused at the moment
Take care y’all

PalmerSage

Hi Nichole, have you tried journaling? Not writing everything by hand in a notebook (although I know lots of people do that too), but sometimes if I'm mentally thrashing around it helps to start typing every honest thought, however crazy, that comes into my head...then I delete it and don't save the document. I'm concerned about privacy, especially for thoughts that are just fleeting, and it's a good processing tool.

xxxNICHOLExxx

Thanks PalmerSage I’ll give it a shot!!!
So I thought and thought about drinking I figured what’s one night of drinking I’ve had tons of days 1s I lost track of how many so what’s another one??? But I realize only thing a day 1 will do is just set me back and if I think that way then I’ll never beat addiction and maybe I won’t get lucky and that day 1 will turn into day/weeks or months of nightly drinking and blacking out!!!! Maybe there should be a warning sign on each bottle of alcohol saying mostly likely will ruin your life!!! What honestly changed my mind from having that drink was talking to my kids and realized where in the heck has time went my son will be 6 next month and my daughter will be 4 in April and only memories I have are them going to the grandparents on weekends for I can go drink/smoke and party this has got to stop I’ll be 29 in June I have to grow up and be the mom I need to be and make sure my kids doesn’t end up like me especially in the world we live in now I really want to change for the best and I know it’s possible if I can stop the alcohol and drugs here is to another day sober hasn’t been easy but well worth the struggle
The worse part of the day I found a grey hair ooo heck no this can be happening so I pulled it

bobdrop

Hi Nichole. I had to sit there and think for a minute when you said you were 29. I'm twice your age and still fighting this. I wonder what my life might have been like if I had put in the effort you are when I was your age. Certainly would have had more money to play with. Kids wouldn't have grown up wondering if I was going to embarrass them at this event because we filled water bottles with vodka and were drunk. Probably wouldn't have developed heart disease by age 35. Yes, I wish that I had started at your age. Maybe you can show me what might have been. It's all there, right in front of you. Grab it!

xxxNICHOLExxx

Thanks bobdrop definitely going to grab it and hold on to it!!!
I’ve had a lot of close calls due to drinking and drugs which drugs are no longer part of my life my biggest struggle is drinking.. lucky to still be alive and I’m worried if I don’t change now I won’t live to watch my kids grow up ... I’m hoping to beat this one day and get on the right medication and love life for what it is I know it won’t be perfect but heck of a lot better then addiction life is a beautiful thing as long as you let the light shine in I think sometimes we forget how precious life is and we all deserve a happy ending !!!!

emme99

Hi everyone,

I'm glad you're sounding so positive Nichole. Your grey hair made me laugh. I'm older than you and I've had lots of them but I get highlights and that covers them pretty well

Day 78
I'm worried about a lot of things right now, and when I worry too much it makes my stomach burn. In the past, I would force down alochol and after a few drinks it would feel better. I'm sure I wasn't helping it, but the alcohol either numbed it or made me less aware of it. So I'm not going to drink tonight, but I miss the temporary relief the alcohol brought (but not everything else that goes along with it, hence I'm not going to drink).

We had an ice storm this morning, the roads were very slick and we are supposed to have another one tonight, but I don't think as bad. My deck is covered in ice so I am grateful I have a door downstairs to let my dog out. There is a bunny that is under my stairs a lot and I think it might have babies. I don't know, I don't see babies but it is there a lot. Also grateful that my dog, for the most part, leaves them alone. She was pretty much face to face with one this morning and I told her to leave it and she left and the bunny just sat there. I don't test her too much though.

I hope everyone is having a good day/evening

Dee74

I hope you find your way through the worry Emme

D

bobdrop

Good morning all. Day 52 here. PalmerSage, I think you are right, I do feel stronger now

Emme, hope you are doing better this morning.

xxxNICHOLExxx

Hope your feeling better emme thinking about you!!!
Bobdrop congrats on ur day 52
Canguy hopefully ur doing okay
Hi Dee hopefully ur day is going awesome
PalmerSage hoping ur having an amazing day
Magpie Chloerose Maggiej barbs #3 vivie anyone else havent been on here lately hopefully everything is a-okay and your doing good thinking about y’all
Red skrappy strawberry hills justtony haven’t forgot about you either
It’s sunny in the 70s today kind of odd for Indiana weather but I’m going out and enjoying it fresh air and feeling the sun sound like simple pleasures always a good way to boost your mood!!! sober day = a good day
Take care y’all air hugs

PalmerSage

emme, I love the possibility of little bunnies under your deck (as long as your dog continues to stay away!) This unseasonably warm weather is throwing me for a loop. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to not freeze, but 75 degrees in February is a little crazy! I'm starting to think ahead to exercising outside in the spring. My neighborhood is ideal for long walks, and I need to take advantage of it. I love the hope that sobriety brings.

bobdrop

Mid 80's here. Warm for Feb, even by Florida standards. Thinking about the beach already

Where is Magpie and Barbs and Chloe? Or the rest? Nichole is hopefully right and they are doing well. Would love to hear from them though.

ChloeRose63

Hi, Class. I am still here and check in when I can.
Feeling alright and just doing fine. Trying not to get ahead of myself with my spring gardening since we do have 6 more weeks of winter! But, winter is getting to feel like forever right now!