Sunflower17

I didn't have a plan as such, and I still don't. I don't feel well enough to do one right now but I am aware that this is something I need to consider.

ProfessorD

Are you being judgmental? I don't know how to answer that question. I suppose that is why I am here, trying to figure out this irrational behavior.

Trohyn

Forgive me professor. I was trying to help you understand how utterly ridiculous that grown, intelligent people like us choose to undermine everything that we hold dear and continue to drink.
There is no mystery here.
There is a part of us that loves throwing off all our shackles, getting drunk and not giving a damn.
Was I being judgemental? You bet I was. Of you, me and every other poor soul whos life has been blighted by addiction.

Other than that, you seem to be quite a nice person:-)

ReadyAtLast

I think many of us if not all of us drink against our better judgement. Surely that's what makes us have the problem we do have. If we didn't drink against our better judgement we wouldn't be alcoholics would we.

I get it professor. I wake in the mornings adamant a won't drink then by lunchtime I decide to drink. I could have a hangover and think it will help. If could be a bad day a good day just any day. There is no reason and the whole reason we have a problem is acting against our better judgement or for no reason.

The number of times people say oh just don't drink or just have one or two then stop. Oh gosh really it's that easy that's where I've been going wrong the past 25 years. (Slight sarcasm but you get my point )

ReadyAtLast

I know how rough the first day is but a plan when you're feeling better really helps. Dee has some great links. I have a list of things that my life is better when sober then another list how I will deal with cravings urges etc. Im Keeping it simple at first and I build on it as I'm going along.

Chase01

ProfessorD, were we separated at birth? You just told my story exactly. I am still looking for the answers as well. The last binge, five days ago, came after a month sober. Somtimes my AV convinces me I can moderate. Sometimes it works for a bit. I will get a six pack and it will last for five days. Then I think, get a twelve pack and save money. The twelve pack never stands a chance and is usually gone in two hours.

The several times I have managed multiple sober months I really pressed into my workouts and was making significant gains. I was also attending church regularly and trying to focus on being the best husband and father I could be. Some point along the way I would make a conscious, albeit illogical, decision to give all that up for a day or three of drunkenness.

Maybe identifying these trends is a good step into figuring out how to find that weak link in the chain that leads to drinking and breaking it.

Welcome Sunflower, we are glad you are here.

PalmerSage

ProfessorD, so glad you joined us. I can completely relate to the insanity of relapse. We've talked a lot here about the decision-making "chain" which leads up to actually drinking. First, you have to have alcohol in the house (or available to you). Second, you have to think positive thoughts about drinking, i.e. why it is a good idea, how it was the only thing that relaxed you, etc. (thus completely ignoring all the bile vomiting and such). Then, you have to actually take a drink. If you don't have it? Chain interrupted. If you have it, but know it is absolutely the worst thing you could possibly do, and will ultimately make you feel worse, not better? Chain interrupted. And if you have it, and want it, but get rid of it before you can drink it? Chain interrupted. I found that I used to start to unconsciously plan a relapse days before I actually drank, mostly through romanticizing the idea of alcohol and so desperately wanting (seemingly NEEDING) to unwind myself.

With the help of SR, I'm slowly reprogramming my thoughts so I anticipate stressors and plan to cope in different ways. Chocolate, a heating pad, reading, journaling, have all come in handy so far. Some folks seem to have it figured out, but I definitely haven't...just trying to be smarter each time I fail. One thing I've learned is that relapses never just happen out of the blue.

Trohyn

Professor, I do apologize for my forthrightness. You're a newcomer and I should have been cognisant of that. Not much of a warm welcome was it.

Chase and Palmer intimated that we have been considering the thought chain process of acquiring that first drink.
I do hope that you'll get over the baptism of fire, and I can assure you that you are very welcome here.
My bad.

ChickChick

I am once again fighting the urge to ask hubby to buy beer on the way home. Sigh. Stupid AV.

Sunflower17

Don't do it ChickChick. You will be so grateful to yourself in the morning.

LoveHateWhine

Hi January Gang,

Been awhile since I posted. Silly me thought I could moderate again and guess what? The same thing happened that always happened -again! But of course, I knew that. I had what I thought was a good plan, but I ignored it.

On Day 4 now. Going to work on another plan tonight. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. That's what my Grandmother always told me. I will keep trying.

LHW

ProfessorD

I'm just here to share my experience and support others. I'm sure I'm rehearsing a lot of info and personal anecdote that has been discussed in depth elsewhere. I imagine that happens a lot in the "Newcomers" area of the forum, but if anything I said was especially stupid or obvious, I apologize.

Dee74

Hope to see you today TYG

D

Trohyn

[QUOTE=ProfessorD;6747266]I'm just here to share my experience and support others. I'm sure I'm rehearsing a lot of info and personal anecdote that has been discussed in depth elsewhere. I imagine that happens a lot in the "Newcomers" area of the forum, but if anything I said was especially stupid or obvious, I apologize.[/QUOTE.

You're grand girl. You really are very welcome.

ProfessorD

You just deleted a snarky post, and I have to say, I just don't get it. I'm not coming back to this forum. I'll look elsewhere for support. Good luck everyone.

Offthemast

You are more than welcome here. It's a great place for support and encouragement.

It's easy to misinterpret posts on a message board. troyhn is truly one of the biggest cheerleaders here (No offense, buddy ) Please stay.

ReadyAtLast

Please don't go professor you're very welcome here. We're all in the same boat.

Sorry to hear that lhw but Good to have you back.☺

Don't do it chick chick think how bad you'll feel tomorrow. No one ever woke up in the morning glad they'd had beer the night before.

Dee74

I hope you stick around Professor.
You will literally not find a more supportive place than SR anywhere.

you can report a post you think breaks the rules, or you can put other posters on your ignore list so as not to see their posts. Just use the drop down menu when you click that persons name beside the post.

We're all kinds of personalities here - some methods of supports are different to others. I'm sure no harm was meant.

D

Dee74

Welcome back Sunflower and LoveHateWhine
I hope things are going ok chickchick

for those who asked about plans - the links herein are great
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)


if nothing else make your plan to post here before you drink - and don't just post and run...stick around until the feeling passes. Lean on your friends

D

shell77

It will pass Chickchick!

Welcome Professor! I hope you do stick around. I don't post much (i'm working on doing better) but just being here and reading helps me a lot. You will find great support here.