Hi everyone. Welcome SeeneEdition. It has been a while. Things are going pretty well. I’ll be 2 years and 6 months sober next month. I’m doing pretty well. I did a 3K walk earlier this month which was amazing and all the proceeds went towards the fight against breast cancer. It’s a pretty big thing here and I walked with a former coworker who has been my friend for going on 12 years now. It was a bit painful because I’ve been trying to move more but was a bit sore but not as much as I thought I’d be. It’s for such a great cause and I really want to do it again next year.

Alex is doing amazing. He’s such a sweet young man. He’s doing well in school and even on days that he’s with his dad, I see him because I am 100% in charge of helping with homework and that has worked out well. I’m not that great at math so we both learn lol. He’s going to be a Ghostbuster for Halloween. . Bella is doing great too. She loves to sleep on the same pillow as me even though I have several oh my bed. Such a sweetie.

Alex’s dad has been nothing but respectful and even kind towards me in the last few months. It’s wild and I went through some anxiety because I kept wondering when it would go back but I’m trying to just take it one day at a time.

I haven’t gone back to AA and I just don’t think right now that it’s for me. I’m still kind of scared to go back but I miss some parts of it. Maybe I’ll go back one day, it’s a wonderful organization.

I have lost 15 pounds and I want to keep on at it. I feel so much better but I still fight the voices that tell me that I don’t deserve good things happening to me. I fight them a lot.

Work is going good, got the best audit that I’ve ever had and work has its days but I’m happy to be there.

Thank you all so much for checking up on me. I want to check in more often, this place and all of you are so awesome. ❤️

I am so excited that things are going well for you Angie!

Hi everyone. So, I’m at 30 months sober. :-) That’s pretty cool, Also, I looked up SMART recovery and they now have a meeting once a week that’s not far from me. I might go check it out but I think I’ll make a priority this coming week to just read up on the online materials. It might be a better fit for me than AA, no offense to AA.

I haven’t really been working on my recovery except just not drinking and I’m having some anxiety and depression issues and want to make sure that I stay on top of working on my health. I think getting back in therapy would be a good thing. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over wanting to be perfect so I don’t ever make mistakes and everyone is happy, I try so hard to not make mistakes while telling my son that mistakes happen and it’s okay. I try not to beat up on myself in front of him because I don’t want him to see that. I do not put this perfection goal on anyone but myself. It’s exhausting.

How do you forgive yourself when all you’ve ever known is to be screamed at when you mess up like when you spill tea, or can’t do math right because the numbers never made sense or that you park in the same parking spot and they found that so incredibly annoying , or sneeze the wrong way or wearing the wrong t shirt or that you touched the outside wall. Childhood and adulthood. Yeah. Therapy sounds like a good bet. I can’t turn to alcohol to numb myself again. Even if that voice tells me that I deserve a miserable life and that I deserve to lose everything. I’ve got to keep fighting and I will. ❤️ to everyone and thank you.

Hi everyone. I want to wish everyone a happy new year, and my thoughts are with my friends here from Australia and the fires there. I’m doing ok, Just looked up my number and I’m at 948 days of sobriety. I kinda got off track with healthy eating around Christmas but I’m back on it now. Trying to make progress with my health, walking more and keeping occupied. Things are going ok and I’m trying not to freak out about that. I tell myself to “just breathe” a lot. So grateful for my sobriety and having hope. Hope everyone is having a wonderful new year, ❤️

Thank you so much Dee. I‘m on day 1,000 of sobriety. I think of soberrecovery and all of you everyday, So much love to all of you. Thank you for everything. ❤️

on 1000 wonderful days! xx

Thank y’all so very much. I’m still sober but I do admit to being so lonely. I’ve pretty much cut off all people except my parents and one friend that I’ve known since I moved here 12 years ago. I have sweet Alex and Bella and Alex’s dad and I are getting along better than ever. I can’t really do meetings during the week because of work and picking up Alex but maybe I’ll try next weekend if I don’t chicken out. I just stay quiet at meetings though and haven’t been to one in quite a while so I’m not sure what I’m expecting. I crave someone’s company as in friendship but I’m afraid of getting attached. Just grateful to be going through this time sober. I do need to be spending more time on here, even if I think I don’t have anything intelligent to say to anyone. I did go out and see the new Ben Affleck movie yesterday where he plays an alcoholic basketball coach. It was a great film and I got a little emotional because I could relate to some things. Hope everyone is doing well. ❤️

Thank you venuscat and stargazer. ❤️ Sometimes it is hard dealing with my feelings without getting alcohol to numb myself. I’m alone a good bit too. I’m still not sure how well I’m doing this but I’m sober and taking it day by day. The numbness from alcohol only lasted a brief time, then came the panic over having to stop, the anxiety/paranoia, shakes and all I had to experience from the hangover. I just wish that I could handle things better and do things better. I still have anxiety but it’s not the drunken anxiety that was really unbearable. Alex is doing great, he made honor roll and got a math award but they cancelled the awards assembly due to coronavirus concerns. We celebrated after school. He’s with his dad now for the weekend and I have OT on Sunday. Grateful to have sweet Bella with me. . Hope everyone has a great weekend.