Angie 247's thread - This new sober life Part 6
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,150
He is gaslighting you still. Sounds like he has most of your time you have known him. You need to deal with him as far as Alex, but then I would not bother with anything he says. He is still trying to control you from afar. It won't work now that you are sober and can see the games he plays.
Time to emotionally move on from needing his approval. You are awesome and don't need his validation to prove it.
Time to emotionally move on from needing his approval. You are awesome and don't need his validation to prove it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
"Time to emotionally move on from needing his approval. You are awesome and don't need his validation to prove it."
This. Big time.
Gosh Ang, I see this dude as very controlling and manipulative. I think he does this to you depending on where his life is this week/month.....so he is feeling magnanimous now is he? Good, he can buy something for Alex. Or put money in an account for you so you can get things for Alex. Just my thoughts.
You ARE awesome. So try not to let him take up so much rent-free space in your head....I know, easier said than done....had to work hard on this myself recently with regards to my younger sister.
Lots of love to you and all who post here.
s
This. Big time. Gosh Ang, I see this dude as very controlling and manipulative. I think he does this to you depending on where his life is this week/month.....so he is feeling magnanimous now is he? Good, he can buy something for Alex. Or put money in an account for you so you can get things for Alex. Just my thoughts.
You ARE awesome. So try not to let him take up so much rent-free space in your head....I know, easier said than done....had to work hard on this myself recently with regards to my younger sister.
Lots of love to you and all who post here.
s
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Angie you're a long, long way from being horrible. Your ex is a control freak and he's panicking because he knows he's losing control over you. I can only reiterate what Dee, Stargazer and Venuscat have said above. xx
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Thank you all so much. He loves to have control over me, he even tried to grab my phone to see what I look up. He didn’t think it had anything to do with him, he just wanted to know what I use my phone for like it’s any of his business. I’m doing ok. Had some days of depression but today is good. We are working overtime at work so I’ll have extra on the paycheck and that’ll be nice. Bella and Alex are doing great, their bond gets stronger and stronger. I love our little family. I miss Elvis everyday though. I’m about to go to the outside walking track and get some time in there. It’s such a beautiful day. I’ll be 22 months sober soon. So very cool. . Thank you all, my friends. ❤️
. Thank you all, my friends. ❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
I still miss Venus a lot....painfully. I have had a lot of animals, but this one....my gosh she grabbed my heart every which way....so I get it.
I am so glad you have Bella, and how wonderful that she and Alex have bonded so well....and boy oh boy was Daisy right huh? Trying to look at your phone is WAY over the top....sheesh....
We all have some not-so-great days....but you are managing them love. That's all we need to do. One day at a time....whatever that day brings. s ♥♥
I am so glad you have Bella, and how wonderful that she and Alex have bonded so well....and boy oh boy was Daisy right huh? Trying to look at your phone is WAY over the top....sheesh....
We all have some not-so-great days....but you are managing them love. That's all we need to do. One day at a time....whatever that day brings.
s ♥♥
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi Angie, I'm glad you're having a good day today.
Hmmm your ex trying to grab your phone just confirms to me that he is a control freak or a Narcissist who couldn't 'train' you and his pride is damaged because you are obviously moving on and living a life he isn't controlling, if that makes sense. My guess is he was wanting to check if there is anyone else in your life to give him something more to throw in your face. I bet he stalks your social media groups if you have any.
On a lighter note, how lovely it is that Alex and Bella are bonding really well. I love my little cat Lulu, she's only 9 months and the cat I had before her passed away a couple of years back aged 12 and I still really miss her, she was the friendliest little cat in all the world.
I hope work is being kind to you and I hope you will be treating yourself to something nice with the extra money you've earned.
Wow, you're not far off 2 years sober now, how amazing is that, that's double what I've got.
Take good care of yourself and post again soon. xxx
Hmmm your ex trying to grab your phone just confirms to me that he is a control freak or a Narcissist who couldn't 'train' you and his pride is damaged because you are obviously moving on and living a life he isn't controlling, if that makes sense. My guess is he was wanting to check if there is anyone else in your life to give him something more to throw in your face. I bet he stalks your social media groups if you have any.
On a lighter note, how lovely it is that Alex and Bella are bonding really well. I love my little cat Lulu, she's only 9 months and the cat I had before her passed away a couple of years back aged 12 and I still really miss her, she was the friendliest little cat in all the world.
I hope work is being kind to you and I hope you will be treating yourself to something nice with the extra money you've earned.
Wow, you're not far off 2 years sober now, how amazing is that, that's double what I've got.
Take good care of yourself and post again soon. xxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 102
I have 65 days clean today. I got a job working for an internet company. I do tech support over the phone. I live in a sober living and I plan to stay here for a year but it is hard to with the huge amount of people that live here. I got a sponsor and I am going to start working the steps with them this week. I am sorry that I have been off of the forum for so long. I have not used. I have just been busy with work and I have to watch training videos to learn how to troubleshoot. Things are good and I should feel good about what is going on in my life but for some reason I still feel bummed out a lot of the time. I still do not like myself like I should but it is something that I am working on. I guess it just takes time and I want every thing done this second. Thanks for being here for me every one.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
It does take time Robert.
But gosh you are doing well....65 days and a job.
An awesome job too!! And yes, I am sure it is not easy to live there, that is a lot of people.
You are AA all the way, so you know that thing they tell us in the early days....we just have to feel our feelings....and that is not always easy or comfortable when we have been numbing them for so long. It gets better love.
Super proud of you and very happy to see you. ♥
But gosh you are doing well....65 days and a job.
An awesome job too!! And yes, I am sure it is not easy to live there, that is a lot of people.
You are AA all the way, so you know that thing they tell us in the early days....we just have to feel our feelings....and that is not always easy or comfortable when we have been numbing them for so long. It gets better love.
Super proud of you and very happy to see you.
♥
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
65 days clean is an amazing achievement Robert, don't under estimate yourself, well done. I can only imagine how hard it is to live in that environment with all those people, that in itself is a credit to you. It does take time, so be patient and take it one day at a time, that's all we can do, those days soon add up and before you know it you'll be seeing the good in you. Take care. x
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Hi everyone and great job Robert. I'm doing pretty good. Alex and I were invited to an Easter egg hunt at a coworker's house last weekend and I actually didn't cancel, and we went! Had a great time! Alex had fun playing with the kids, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself too. Yesterday, 3 other coworkers and I went for a late breakfast after work. It was nice, we got off at noon and had a yummy breakfast at a local restaurant. They did talk about alcohol for a good bit, and one asked if I drank. I smiled and just said that I didn't. It didn't bother me to hear them talk about their favorite drink, I just concentrated more on my food
(pancakes and bacon) at that time and went back to the conversation when the subject was changed. It was really nice and we made a promise to do it again. I'm about to go out now, get the finishing touches on Alex's Easter basket and maybe get some coffee too. Have a great day everyone!!
I'm doing pretty good. Alex and I were invited to an Easter egg hunt at a coworker's house last weekend and I actually didn't cancel, and we went! Had a great time! Alex had fun playing with the kids, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself too. Yesterday, 3 other coworkers and I went for a late breakfast after work. It was nice, we got off at noon and had a yummy breakfast at a local restaurant. They did talk about alcohol for a good bit, and one asked if I drank. I smiled and just said that I didn't. It didn't bother me to hear them talk about their favorite drink, I just concentrated more on my food (pancakes and bacon) at that time and went back to the conversation when the subject was changed. It was really nice and we made a promise to do it again. I'm about to go out now, get the finishing touches on Alex's Easter basket and maybe get some coffee too. Have a great day everyone!!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,150
Angie, I do the same thing at work you went through when my coworkers go on and on about their favorite drinks or beers. I just jump back into the conversation when it finally changes. It doesn't bother me at all anymore.
Enjoy the holiday!
Enjoy the holiday!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Hi everyone. I’m a few days away from two years of sobriety and I’m feeling pretty good. Have had some health issues since I last posted, a ruptured ovarian cyst and a pulled muscle in my back but both were dealt with and I’m feeling much better now. I’m grateful to have my health and to be living a sober life. Alex is doing great, and so is Bella. Alex is almost as tall as me, I’m 5’2 and he will be there soon. He’s sweet, smart, compassionate and has the best sense of humor. So proud of my sweet young fellow. Hope everyone is doing well. Thank you all so much and I hope y’all have a great weekend. ❤️
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