FBL

Book is FINALLY out the door! Now we wait until the proofs come back in about 10 days. That's my last look before it hits the press. Have already started on the next project!

Have a great Wednesday, all!

Gilmer

Congratulations, FBL!

I hope some random moments of mirth come everyone’s way today.

Delizadee

I can't catch up right now. But I needed to come back.

It's just bad.
so bad.
I needed my people and I dropped absolutely all of them.

I am in really, really bad shape.
I'm sorry guys.

Dee74

I'm just glad you're back del - back amongst friends.
whatever happened I hope this is the start of the way back

D

stargazer016

FBL, congrats on 8 Years and 8 months. Your story continues to be an inspiration to me, especially times when I’m not feeling strong. Good luck on your next project!

Glad to have you back Del!

Have a good day all!

FBL

Welcome back, Del! You're always welcome here. If you care to share more, please do.

Today marks 8 years and 8 months since I got my life back. Feels damn good.

Have a great Thursday, Posties!

courage2

Delizadee, I'm glad you're here, no matter what's happened betweentimes. Baby steps. Remember we're Former Insanity Survivors here, right? Emphasis on putting the past behind and moving on, together.

FBL, congratulations. & to all of us, every day!

Gilmer

So pleased to have you back, Del.



We’ e got your back!

gleefan

Hi everyone

Del - Welocme back! We are here for you!

Fbl - Congrsts on completing your project.

Courage - When I am not multitasking my mind tends to drift into its shadows. I don’t like being there, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that the gray clouds will pass. I hope you feel better soon.

Gilmer - What a powerful story about the boat. Letting go is not something I do easily!!

I’m still battling a pretty bad cough, left behind from last week’s flu like illness. I’m going to the doctor and taking care of myself.

Tomorrow (Friday) is 4 years sober for me. I couldn’t do it without all of you.

Gilmer

Huge congratulations, Glee!

stargazer016

Huge congrats on four years Glee!!

Have a great day all!

FBL

Congrats on 4 years, Glee!

Have a great Friday, gang!

courage2

Hooray Glee! I'm so happy for you

My mind goes instantly to your kids. No kid ever wishes their parent were a drunk. You've done good!

gleefan

Thanks everyone. I feel like that emoji with all the confetti today!!!

courage2

I hope you've had a wonderful day, Gleefan!

Dee74

congrats from me too Glee

D

Delizadee

Omg, I just lost my whole post, which was not a novel lol.

I had replied to all of you which is very frustrating when you've been gone too long to lose all that.

Glee

I have so much love, appreciation and admiration for all of you guys.
I so regret staying away for so long. Thank you for letting me back into my safe corner

FBL

Have a great weekend, Posties!

Gilmer

We’re so thrilled you’re back, Del!

courage2

I think I've figured out (finally) the cycle of my mind under my crazy meds:

• I don't get euphoria at all anymore
• I still experience depression, but not suicidally. I have been having some suicidal fantasies recently but nothing remotely like a plan.
• A few weeks (?) into a depression, the meds kick in or something & I get angry! This is the big change. I never, ever used to get angry. Now I yell at people. The other day I repeatedly threatened to stick a dagger in someone's gut, and it was good he wasn't around, or I might very well have threatened him to his face, and given the world we live in, I would have been arrested.

I'm not sure whether this new thing, the anger, is a problem. On the one hand, it feels great! (ish). On the other hand, it feels a little out-of-bounds. On the third hand, with the meds, I'm neither suicidal nor actually homicidal -- I don't think anyone would say I'm a danger to myself or others. Just obnoxious. On the *fourth* hand, it's possibly more dangerous than the depression for my sobriety, because I have more energy to do something like procure substances. But I haven't done so.

This is an insanity-survivor post. The ways my crazies manifest themselves have changed many times -- alcoholism is one, long part of it. Stuff is ok in the absolute now, but you know how it is -- we could f**k it all up in a heartbeat!

Wishing us all good luck not f**king it up, today!