Originally Posted by kenton

It does get better Jo, so much better. In the last few weeks, it's like a switch has been flicked in my brain. The fog has lifted, I'm getting so much done at work and at home. I'm organised, optimistic and loving life again. I look back over the last year and see that all those emotional black holes... all the times when I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.... they all served a purpose. By staying sober through the really tough times, that's what got me to feeling how I feel today. Stay strong and stay sober.... the future Jo will love you for it xxx

I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I miss Pebbles so much and still trying to get my head around it all. If I don't check in every day, it's not because I don't love you all. I do and I'm so grateful for everything SR has done for me. When I was drinking I was always out.... in bars, clubs, pubs etc .... but I never felt like I was properly connected to the real world. A year of being sober has connected me to the real world again and I want to do everything I didn't do when I was drinking. I want to travel and climb a mountain and swim with dolphins and learn to speak another language and jump out of an aeroplane (with a parachute... I'm sober and exuberant but never reckless). There's so much I want to do and I'm going to get on and do it. Can't believe I spent so many years forgetting to notice how amazing the world is. 24 more hours for me please xxxx

Originally Posted by Sweetpeacan

An ashamed and depressed me checking in for 24 more. Reached almost 3 months,life in a happy place to clock in a nearly two week bender. I keep saying never again, never again & I do it. Massively anxious. The huge amount I drink seems to get worse. My consequences feel unbearable. Anyway 1 more please God x

Originally Posted by Babs1234

Cake looks very inviting ! SL
Babs

Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Oh Kenton I'm so pleased you're still here! Having a little cry of sheer relief (what a baby!).
I know it's hard about Pebbles. She is such a special person and I'm struggling without her wonderful huge selfless personality too.
I'll stick with it Kenton I can promise you that. The alternative is just unthinkable. Lots of love sweetie xxx

Originally Posted by SaturatedSeize

Good Morning Friends! 6:50am and checking in for 24 more hours.

I get to attend an Epilepsy benefit tonight, my buddy and his fiance split up, so he has an extra ticket. For those who know who Brett Hundley is (current starting QB for the Green Bay Packers ), he is going to be there and supporting the benefit. Apparently everyone gets a signed photo. I'm pretty stoked about that.

I finally had the falling out with my boss that has needed to happen for months, yesterday. A lot of animosity was let out and I thought I was going to be sent home, but she acted like an actual human being and not a robot. By the end of the conversation we were both calm and addressed a lot of my insecurities (basically I thought I was going to be fired any day). She basically said I'm crazy and doing a great job and I'm nowhere near that point. She sees me as a leader and a unique personality for our office (I'm always the fun and jovial one in an office of a lot of negativity).

Today is the first day in a looooong time I don't hate coming to work.

Congrats to all of our milestoners, thoughts with those struggling, and a wonderful Tuesday to all!

Originally Posted by Hats

Day 79, another 24 for me please

Originally Posted by WeaverBird

Oh WeaverBird is me, Weev1l.

Anna very speedily changed it for me. Thank you Anna.

I do love garden birds in sobriety, I'm on the side of the little guy. And weavers make very nice homes for themselves. Well, the male usually does, but since I don't have one of those, I better just do it myself.

I haven't been totally idle this morning because I seem to have taken over the thread. I'd better go and do something else now tho. Love to all. See you later

(Not that there's anything wrong with a nice weevil for all you entomologists out there! Except vine weevils which eat the roots of pot plants where you can't see. They can leave my garden pronto.)

Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Bless you sweeties for posting. I know I'm not alone with these kind of feelings. I know we are all pretty much walking the same path. Logical me knows and accepts that but scared little-girl me gets very down and panicky.
I really am grateful that we can share some quite intimate experiences and feelings and still feel understood and accepted. Sometimes being a little brave and posting can be the difference between a down moment and a downward spiral which ends up somewhere none of us want to be.
Thank you xxx

Originally Posted by SoberLeigh

Glad that you made it through the grocery shopping, Optimist.

Nightmares can be so unnerving and unsettling. Maybe some relaxation techniques at bedtime could help - hot bath, deep breathing, meditation????

I am sorry that you are having a hard time, Optimist.

Hope that you sleep well tonight and that your dreams are peaceful.

Hugs, dear one.

Originally Posted by Neoo

Love to you Jo, Venus, Kris, Leigh and all you guys, Goodnight

Originally Posted by ChickChick

24 more please.

Kris, Suze and Leigh thank you wonderful ladies for your support and your kind words. ��

Originally Posted by venuscat

(((ChickChick))) ♥

It is really lovely to see those gorgeous chicks every day....I was talking to Nick last night about your chickens....I love how you adore them. Are you still knitting for them?

PS. Both Kris and Leigh are seriously beautiful human beings....I am so grateful to call them my friends. ♥

Originally Posted by venuscat

Originally Posted by ChickChick

I have a whole new flock now. Had a really really rough time with some raccoons last spring. My knew girls are super sweet though! I haven't knit for them lately. I don't think they were too appreciative last time. Lol.

Hope your jaw feels better soon!

Originally Posted by SoberLeigh

(((((JoJo, dear one))))

The gloom will lift; I promise you.

Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Hi again all. I just need to get this out because I'm starting to feel like I'm going a little crazy. I'm feeling like I'm in a kind of trap right now. I'm slowly sinking downward which is a little scary but I can't reach for a bottle to make it go away. I don't want to reach for a bottle. But somehow this dark place feels like a big dose of karma and no matter how long I'm sober I'll never really be free of it. The answer does probably lie somewhere in a more concerted effort at lifestyle change but ugh I just can't face it. Does the addiction play the long game and wait patiently until our self esteem is rock bottom and we really do think "eff it"? Is that my destiny? One bad decision and back to the pit of addiction? Please no. Surely the mixed up warped thinking gets better......doesn't it?
Ooh I am a self absorbed miserable sod right now. It's Tuesday and normally my girls go to their dad's and they're not tonight. Tonight that bothers me. I just want to be alone. My head hurts. I'm utterly exhausted. And wanting my girls to be elsewhere is awful. Thats not me at all.
The anxiety and the fear are back with avengance. And like the immature little woman-child I am I'm feeling resentment that it's "just not fair".......
Ugh sorry I can't be more positive. Maybe reading this back later will give me a little kick up the backside to do something......