Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think you need to forgive yourself Badge.
You've been doing everything right since then...& like you said you felt fine yesterday,.,,don't let shame drive you backwards.
D
You've been doing everything right since then...& like you said you felt fine yesterday,.,,don't let shame drive you backwards.
D
As you already suggested yourself, it can serve a very useful purpose for you in the future. Some day, when you are confident and strong, when the fog of time and the chicanery of the AV is telling you things weren't so bad, you might choose to take it out and use it to remind yourself of all the reasons you decided to become a happy sober person.
Youre doing great, and youre doing it for all the right reasons, be very proud of how far you have come in this short time.
V
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by waxfruit
I can't sleep. Anyone available to talk?
Any suggestions on where I can go let me know.
Thanks
Any suggestions on where I can go let me know.
Thanks
Brighten....My heart sank to my stomach when you wrote that you bought some beer over the weekend. I was so pleased to hear you didnt drink it and didnt even want to drink it. You didnt say what you did with it tho?
All I can say is the accepted wisdom here in SR seems to be, get rid of it. Dont have it around. Youre AV is a sneaky guy, you gotta be 2 steps ahead of him...you know that.
As for saying you dont have much to say/offer here, dont kid yourself. Your presence here is valued and welcomed by all of us here I am sure!
V
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,097
Thank you so much MelSober, SoberVictor, Dee, GB and everyone for your replies and support, it is really helping me today. Such a roller coaster, and I hate roller coasters by the way, yesterday I never wanted to see a bottle, today I want to surrender and buy one, slept like crap last night, still wallowing in a mud bog I am,,,,
So I took the dogs out for a walk and to play in the park, finished cleaning the bedroom, still in a funk, so am off to do some solo hiking up one of our little butte's we have around. Clear my head, get some miles under my feet, listen to songs from my man Mr. Denver. Get my act together so to speak.
Oh and the dog bowl is put away out of sight, to be brought out like you said SV later when I am in a less self pitying state and the AV creeps up on me I will bring it out and smack the AV along side the head with it...
Badge
So I took the dogs out for a walk and to play in the park, finished cleaning the bedroom, still in a funk, so am off to do some solo hiking up one of our little butte's we have around. Clear my head, get some miles under my feet, listen to songs from my man Mr. Denver. Get my act together so to speak.
Oh and the dog bowl is put away out of sight, to be brought out like you said SV later when I am in a less self pitying state and the AV creeps up on me I will bring it out and smack the AV along side the head with it...
Badge
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
Hello
I wanted to check in and give an update.
I had quite a scare last night/ early morning and contacted a friend who contacted my sister who is nurse. Long story short, I am in the hospital due to dehydration. They're keeping me overnight and I'm getting the fluids I need.
I want to thank you Dee and SoulShine. I'm so glad someone was around last night while I was trying to figure out what to do.
I'm feeling so much better and it's nice to be taken care of for a change.
I'm going to take a nap and check in later.
See you soon and take care.
I wanted to check in and give an update.
I had quite a scare last night/ early morning and contacted a friend who contacted my sister who is nurse. Long story short, I am in the hospital due to dehydration. They're keeping me overnight and I'm getting the fluids I need.
I want to thank you Dee and SoulShine. I'm so glad someone was around last night while I was trying to figure out what to do.
I'm feeling so much better and it's nice to be taken care of for a change.
I'm going to take a nap and check in later.
See you soon and take care.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi folks 
Decent day. I was up at 8. I sold a nice bike I had here at the house. Got my teeth cleaned again. Three months ago I had bad breath and realized the teeth hadn’t been cleaned on a while. It turned out I had a ton of plaque and it was quite a job to clean then. So they wanted me back in 3 months. This is the cleanest my teeth have ever been.
My sister is handling some travel plans for while we are in Florida. Things are ok.
I feel like I’m letting go of that sick friend of mine. No food, no one to help, bed bound, parents and family refuse to help. I just am getting numb to it. None of my previous acute rescues or prolonged social work on her behalf ever led to anything. It’s been a year and a half. Everyone says that no one can fault me for just stopping with that.
Later on
V
Oh TEN DAYS
Decent day. I was up at 8. I sold a nice bike I had here at the house. Got my teeth cleaned again. Three months ago I had bad breath and realized the teeth hadn’t been cleaned on a while. It turned out I had a ton of plaque and it was quite a job to clean then. So they wanted me back in 3 months. This is the cleanest my teeth have ever been.
My sister is handling some travel plans for while we are in Florida. Things are ok.
I feel like I’m letting go of that sick friend of mine. No food, no one to help, bed bound, parents and family refuse to help. I just am getting numb to it. None of my previous acute rescues or prolonged social work on her behalf ever led to anything. It’s been a year and a half. Everyone says that no one can fault me for just stopping with that.
Later on
V
Oh TEN DAYS
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 107
A lot of good posts today. Have to post quickly before men's Bible study in about 45 minutes. Still have to take a shower, spent a large part of the day helping my mentor cut and haul wood. Exhausting.
Brighten: Getting into a slump is, I think, just a normal part of life but I am disturbed that you bought alcohol. Please understand I'm not chastising you. Buying it puts you in a very dangerous place. VERY dangerous. The enemy is tempting you very strongly. You can and will refuse to succumb to the temptation. You can and will. Keep repeating that. Buying alcohol is a choice. Choose to not do it. Please, keep repeating it when you have such a strong urge. Say "I cannot and will not buy anything. Alcohol has no authority over me."
Bad: Definitely need to forgive yourself. I think I've gone over this before. You mentioned Mr. Denver. Would that be John Denver? After every WVU football game the entire stadium along with the football team sings Country Roads. Powerful. Tradition started in the early 80's when John Denver sang it before a game.
Wax: Sorry to hear you became dehydrated. Be sure to stay hydrated, drink plenty of fluids my friend.
I was reading Reader's Digest from a few months back. This quote was at the end of one of the articles. I like it a lot.
Do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Brighten: Getting into a slump is, I think, just a normal part of life but I am disturbed that you bought alcohol. Please understand I'm not chastising you. Buying it puts you in a very dangerous place. VERY dangerous. The enemy is tempting you very strongly. You can and will refuse to succumb to the temptation. You can and will. Keep repeating that. Buying alcohol is a choice. Choose to not do it. Please, keep repeating it when you have such a strong urge. Say "I cannot and will not buy anything. Alcohol has no authority over me."
Bad: Definitely need to forgive yourself. I think I've gone over this before. You mentioned Mr. Denver. Would that be John Denver? After every WVU football game the entire stadium along with the football team sings Country Roads. Powerful. Tradition started in the early 80's when John Denver sang it before a game.
Wax: Sorry to hear you became dehydrated. Be sure to stay hydrated, drink plenty of fluids my friend.
I was reading Reader's Digest from a few months back. This quote was at the end of one of the articles. I like it a lot.
Do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
Brighten- your run in with beer reminds me of when I ordered one at the bar and didn't drink it. Remember that? It was the very next day I believe that I picked up. Figure out what triggered you to do that, what reservation you may be holding on to and share it. Give it no power. The pain of picking up is so much greater than not.
You're doing so good. Remember not sleeping? Remember ears ringing? The guilt, the shame. It's not worth it buddy. Hang in there. I'll be laying here for a day if you need to pm me.
You're doing so good. Remember not sleeping? Remember ears ringing? The guilt, the shame. It's not worth it buddy. Hang in there. I'll be laying here for a day if you need to pm me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
Badge- it sounds like you're being hard on yourself. I'm just catching up, ao if I'm off, please disregard. If you are, please don't be.
It takes a village and we have one here of nonjudgmental support.
I hope you had a pleasant walk. There's an article I'll find about how Thoreau, Jefferson, and I can't remember who else and the benefits of taking a nice long walk.
It takes a village and we have one here of nonjudgmental support.
I hope you had a pleasant walk. There's an article I'll find about how Thoreau, Jefferson, and I can't remember who else and the benefits of taking a nice long walk.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 206
Hey guys,
Not really sure whats going on with me. I cant pinpoint whats triggering things. I know I feel kind of empty and depressed, im possibly looking to fill a void or something. Im running myself ragged with staying busy. I think im looking to unwind, but instead of doing it the right way I went back to what I know best. Alcohol for the wind-down process.
I did get rid of it and it is not here. But even though its not, its not like I cant jump in the car and go buy more if I really wanted. I think it was more of an impulse thing.
I really appreciate all your thoughts and concerns during these struggles, means alot to me!!
wax- glad youre being taken care of and you have my best wishes.
You are all an awesome group of people and im thankful. But, yas might all need to stay at my place for awhile to keep tabs on me!!
Brighten
Not really sure whats going on with me. I cant pinpoint whats triggering things. I know I feel kind of empty and depressed, im possibly looking to fill a void or something. Im running myself ragged with staying busy. I think im looking to unwind, but instead of doing it the right way I went back to what I know best. Alcohol for the wind-down process.
I did get rid of it and it is not here. But even though its not, its not like I cant jump in the car and go buy more if I really wanted. I think it was more of an impulse thing.
I really appreciate all your thoughts and concerns during these struggles, means alot to me!!
wax- glad youre being taken care of and you have my best wishes.
You are all an awesome group of people and im thankful. But, yas might all need to stay at my place for awhile to keep tabs on me!!
Brighten
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
Here's the article:
Hemingway, Thoreau, Jefferson and the virtues of a good long walk.
Excellent read
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3837002
Hemingway, Thoreau, Jefferson and the virtues of a good long walk.
Excellent read
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3837002
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,097
Originally Posted by Getbetter72
Bad: Definitely need to forgive yourself. I think I've gone over this before. You mentioned Mr. Denver. Would that be John Denver? After every WVU football game the entire stadium along with the football team sings Country Roads. Powerful. Tradition started in the early 80's when John Denver sang it before a game.
Do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Badge
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,097
I am back from hike, of coarse it started raining about 3/4 into it, being as I live in the desert, it wasn't to bad, just made the trail a little slippery. I looked towards the sky, feeling much abused and cranky at the situation
and wondered which one of my relatives that reside up there, would be the culprit and find the whole situation amusing, I immediately thought of my sister, so I grumbled at her for awhile. kept walking. On the way home I had to pass several grocery stores, the AV tried to take the wheel, nope, not happening, I have come to far, and I do not want to go back to being the person I was while drinking, and yes I pictured that dang dog bowl, so home and sober I am!
Wax-
hope you are home and feeling better!!
Badge
and wondered which one of my relatives that reside up there, would be the culprit and find the whole situation amusing, I immediately thought of my sister, so I grumbled at her for awhile. kept walking. On the way home I had to pass several grocery stores, the AV tried to take the wheel, nope, not happening, I have come to far, and I do not want to go back to being the person I was while drinking, and yes I pictured that dang dog bowl, so home and sober I am!Wax-
hope you are home and feeling better!!Badge
O-n K-a-r A-r-r-e-s-t
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 600
wax - glad you are getting some much needed rest and pampering (yeah a hospital instead of a spa... but take what you can get ha) 
BMU - LOL i got a funny visual of us all laying around your place saying no,no,no everytime you get a funny look on your face.... you are strong!! look how far you have come. i think even though you bought alcohol you still rose to the occasion. i'm not sure i would have stopped to think so good for you.
viper - glad that you are making peace with a decision. i think you will look back when you are a lot stronger and be ok with it.
cc - it sure is the truth that problems never stop-- i just need to get stronger to find other ways of dealing than drinking....
this is just me checkin' in on the "fam" before going off to read before sleep. hope we all get some good zzzzz's tonite.
especialy wax, our inpatient peep.....remember to keep the back of that gown together sister! ♥
BMU - LOL i got a funny visual of us all laying around your place saying no,no,no everytime you get a funny look on your face.... you are strong!! look how far you have come. i think even though you bought alcohol you still rose to the occasion. i'm not sure i would have stopped to think so good for you.
viper - glad that you are making peace with a decision. i think you will look back when you are a lot stronger and be ok with it.
cc - it sure is the truth that problems never stop-- i just need to get stronger to find other ways of dealing than drinking....
this is just me checkin' in on the "fam" before going off to read before sleep. hope we all get some good zzzzz's tonite.
especialy wax, our inpatient peep.....remember to keep the back of that gown together sister! ♥
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
You're hilarious SoulShine!
Now I have an image of us laying around at BMUps house... too funny.
Off to relaxation. Much needed indeed.
I am determined to get back at it and done with my move by Wednesday.
Please send me good vibes, thoughts, prayers, whatever it may be. I've got to get some peace of mind.
Thanks again everyone!
Much love-
Now I have an image of us laying around at BMUps house... too funny.
Off to relaxation. Much needed indeed.
I am determined to get back at it and done with my move by Wednesday.
Please send me good vibes, thoughts, prayers, whatever it may be. I've got to get some peace of mind.
Thanks again everyone!
Much love-
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 206
Hahaha I just kept having funny thoughts of us all laying around my place. In all honesty tho I think that would be awesome and ya's are all welcome!! There we go, another S.R. field trip!!! I could use the company !!! Loneliness sucks!!!
I could use the company !!! Loneliness sucks!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 107
Brighten, you've heard me say this before and I'll say it again. Please consider starting a journal. It is the only way of which I am aware to track urges and determine patterns that are underlying those urges and temptations. Get stronger. KNOW you are going to beat this. You have come so far. Now is the time to lean on your successes and disallow the enemy to plant those seeds of temptation in your mind. You're stronger than any urge that comes your way.
You WILL win at this. It sounds like we need to establish a new plan of attack for when you have this kind of temptation. A journal will so very much help to find the patterns that you otherwise wouldn't be able to see. Please consider that option.
You WILL win at this. It sounds like we need to establish a new plan of attack for when you have this kind of temptation. A journal will so very much help to find the patterns that you otherwise wouldn't be able to see. Please consider that option.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Brighten, be careful what you wish for. I can actually make that drive from Connecticut. Haha. I need a place to crash for a few months, and by the way, can I get the rest of that pizza in the fridge? 
Ok quick check in before bed. It’s midnight and I’ve been doing things, or at least awake since 8. That’s a record. It seems as though things are going as well as can be expected, detoxing and getting my mind straight. 10 days over. Bumpy road but slow improvement. Cravings are at zero.
I’m beat and about to close my eyes.
Viper
Ok quick check in before bed. It’s midnight and I’ve been doing things, or at least awake since 8. That’s a record. It seems as though things are going as well as can be expected, detoxing and getting my mind straight. 10 days over. Bumpy road but slow improvement. Cravings are at zero.
I’m beat and about to close my eyes.
Viper
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 253
Hi - wow it seems like here's a lot of us struggling these last few days. The honest truth is if I would have had a night alone there is a good chance I would have drank this week. I'm not though so I have time to ride it out. I really admire those of you who live alone and are still sober.
Wax - dehydration is awful - you will feel so much better once that is sorted. Hope you get home to your lovely place soon. x
Brighten - wow well done on not drinking the beer! I have a lot of people around me so I don't get lonely, the opposite usually, I crave alone time. My son for some reason struggles to make friends. He is an adult now and it hurts me to see him feeling that way. He thought he had made some friends in his new flat mates but then last week he'd asked them if they wanted to go to a local pub quiz. They all made excuses but then went together leaving him out. I don't understand it. He's a nice person.
Badge - I can relate to how you are feeling. I need to cheer myself up!
I'm annoyed with myself that I'm struggling with my diet. Every morning I wake up promising myself I'll be good and every night I pig out. I really wanted to lose a bit of weight before I go to Mexico after Christmas. I've been trying all year and I'm running out of time
Wax - dehydration is awful - you will feel so much better once that is sorted. Hope you get home to your lovely place soon. x
Brighten - wow well done on not drinking the beer! I have a lot of people around me so I don't get lonely, the opposite usually, I crave alone time. My son for some reason struggles to make friends. He is an adult now and it hurts me to see him feeling that way. He thought he had made some friends in his new flat mates but then last week he'd asked them if they wanted to go to a local pub quiz. They all made excuses but then went together leaving him out. I don't understand it. He's a nice person.
Badge - I can relate to how you are feeling. I need to cheer myself up!
I'm annoyed with myself that I'm struggling with my diet. Every morning I wake up promising myself I'll be good and every night I pig out. I really wanted to lose a bit of weight before I go to Mexico after Christmas. I've been trying all year and I'm running out of time
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