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Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 4

Old 11-10-2017, 08:20 PM
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Wax - That is terrible to hear. That’s an awful environment. Toxic and poisonous beyond belief. My dad was/is a bad drinker and unpredictable, but even in his worst rage he didn’t wish me dead. He’s a good man with a bad problem. Really screwed my self esteem.

Anyway, it seems like the worst place you can be. This new place seems like a new beginning for you?? You do not have to put up with that abuse. If there’s any way you can break free of them entirely, I’d face your mom down. I guess verbally torching her would lead to nothing good. Better to completely ignore. It’s worse on them that way, and easier on you.

I digress. Trying to make you a failure. That’s really nice. Great job mom.

Can you bring a friend with you when you go back? Preferably a badass biker dude? Or perhaps an actual pit bull? Seriously though, you CAN bring a cop. You have right to get your stuff out without being abused.

Keep posting. You can emerge from this!!
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Old 11-10-2017, 08:25 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss Bob.
Stay strong wax
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Old 11-10-2017, 08:31 PM
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Bob sorry about your friend.

I lost my best friend. She’s not dead, but very, very sick. I cannot be around it. I’m devastated. I did so much for her in the last year and a half. So much. I tried so hard to help. In every way you can think of. I made a Herculean effort and it did not help. The poor 29 year old girl should be allowed back with her parents who will burn in Hell for their treatment of her. It’s inconvenient to help your sick daughter. I can’t be drinking over her. I feel her pain. I can feel it and it’s horrible. I was the only one she had.
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Old 11-10-2017, 10:46 PM
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Viper, I am so very sorry to hear about your best friend. Truly, if you ever need to talk, please send me a message and please keep sharing.
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Old 11-10-2017, 11:22 PM
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Woke at 2am with panic that I drank. It took a minute to realize that I did not and now Iím wide awake.

Grrrrrrr!!!

V
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Old 11-10-2017, 11:32 PM
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Just wanted to say a quick hello to everyone. I've got to go out early today but I'll be back later. xx
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Old 11-10-2017, 11:43 PM
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Viper - my grandad used to drink pretty heavy but hasn't drank in about 40 years. He says that he still has dreams were he drinks and then wakes up with a hangover. A phantom hangover maybe? lol

Wax- I cannot imagine being in that sort of environment. Your mums behaviour sounds shocking and cruel to me. While forgiving her can make it easier I personally would try and get out of that situation completely,
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Old 11-11-2017, 02:18 AM
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Bad: That was hilarious about the excuses why we can't drink! I do want to give a word of warning though. Just the taste of a drink you once enjoyed with alcohol could be a trigger. I know personally years and years ago I tried non-alcoholic beer. Not only was it just straight up gross but the taste triggered me to drink the real thing.

Wax: I'm sorry I didn't process the reason you moved back in with your parents. This is a rough situation for you. It would be a rough situation for anyone. Just keep telling yourself that you will survive this test. Use it to strengthen you.
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Old 11-11-2017, 02:34 AM
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Viper - Pound of Strawberries, sounds goooood! You just set a craving off for me but a rather healthy one. Strawberries are now on my list for today! lol...also sorry to hear of your sick friend too.

Doubledee & Getbetter - Thanks for reassuring me it's OK to post when feeling blue! Appreciated

WAX - I'm with Badge, sensing a stronger, more determined you and can feel a real transitional period happening for you right now. Thanks for opening up and sharing that and I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I can only try and imagine how S**T that must be for you and really feel for you but hats off to you for getting through this and making a new start for yourself! You should be real proud of yourself Wax!!!! In a few months when fully settled in your new place and staying sober you will be worlds apart from the rubbish you unfortunately have to deal with right now! Here anytime you want to chat!

WHERE IS LuLu?????????? Wish we could here from you LuLu, really want to know you're ok. Hope you check in soon x

10:30am now, I slept a bit better last night, for once! I have my Mum visiting today, usual Saturday now sober, a walk, some nice food, bit of shopping. Tomorrow I have a real close friend coming over that I haven't seen for over a year so really looking forward to her visiting, she's coming over for a few hours in the afternoon and we're going to the pub for Sunday lunch. I reckon I'll be ok, she's driving so she won't drink so that will help...
I have a little freelance job to do from home this weekend so will do that tonight to keep busy.

Day 31 now, Feeling quite good today, feel strong & positive so I'm sending those feelings to each of you!

Happy Sober Weekend all!

Much Love!

K x
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Old 11-11-2017, 02:45 AM
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Viper and Wax: "Can you bring a friend with you when you go back? Preferably a badass biker dude? Or perhaps an actual pit bull? Seriously though, you CAN bring a cop. You have right to get your stuff out without being abused. " I had to chuckle at this one but in all seriousness Wax, Viper is right, particularly about the officer being with you. Or a pit bull. Or giant biker dude, lol.

Viper: Sorry to hear of your friend who is ill. I saw that you said you can't be around it. If passing is imminent, I just want to encourage you though to make sure to say everything that you need to say to say goodbye. It is a blessing to be given an opportunity to say goodbye as opposed to a sudden passing. You don't want to live with guilt of saying to yourself "I should have said goodbye" or "I should have said (insert sentiment here)."

Lulu: PLEASE CHECK IN! You have a lot of people concerned about you and your walk with sobriety. Please let the Club know you're ok.

Kit: You don't reckon you'll be okay going to the pub with your friend. You WILL be okay because you have the strength to stay sober. You are a new creation in your sobriety!

(New creations verse, 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
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Old 11-11-2017, 02:53 AM
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Thanks Getbetter - You are absolutely right!

Tomorrow I'm going to the pub for lunch and I WILL BE OK!!!


K x
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Old 11-11-2017, 03:42 AM
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Good Morning! Just a quick check-in before I start my busy Sat. I will be back later when I take a break. Day 43 for me...it does get better and better.
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Old 11-11-2017, 04:19 AM
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Boring Breakfast update haha...

Boiled eggs, Fresh Orange juice and a red grapefruit!

Yum, tastes good and feeling healthy.

Bright sunshine and blue skies here today!

Feeling good!

Last week I felt so low and drained but things are picking up again, wishing you all a lovely sober weekend...

"One box at a time"

LOVE this quote, who was it set it off again????

K x
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Old 11-11-2017, 04:20 AM
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Good morning everyone.
I woke up at quarter to six and decided to get up instead of just going to the bathroom and then going back to a warm bed and falling back to sleep. Doing schoolwork and taking little breaks through the day to clean what I can. I gotta start somewhere and actually start and do it. I think about and write lists of what to do and then not do anything every weekend for sooo long. I've berated myself (and my mom has too) as lazy for many years. I don't think it is all that. I do have a problem with letting go of things, I have always been frugal and always afraid of throwing things away cos I will need it later. I also have a buying/stockpiling and not using but saving things problem. I don't know why cos I never really went without when young so who knows. And then there was always alcohol. And my mom wanting me to do things a certain way. So those things and I am sure more that have been standing in my way. Now the alcohol part of it is gone at least. And I can work on my thinking. So onward to push past whatever else it is because there are a lot of things/routines/stuff that I don't want in my new life and a lot of different things/routines/stuff that I do. I'm still going to be soft/strong with myself - baby steps. The "new" car has given me some good energy to change some of my old stuff and start anew. I bought a 2018 planner at Walmart yesterday. I found one that is daily- the SeeItBigger 2018 Daily Planner from Oct2017-Dec2018. Bigger print and lines for us old folks ha. Before I have bought planners and not wrote much in them but I am going to start writing in it today. It's mostly to take around at work for meetings but I am going to add in some things like food choices/water intake too (I want to eat healthier). I have my journal for my private stuff to keep at home. I am such an organized person at work, that I have never let anybody come to my house - they would be appalled at the disorganization. So time to put my skills at work in my home. My focus is to make it organized for less stress and comfortable for a better person that is LIVING here not just existing here. Next year when I get off "car arrest" I want to have spent this time building a strong foundation in myself and my home - this is my year of work on me and not worrying or thinking about what everyone else is doing. Bye bye Facebook! I know when the punishment is over it is going to be a time too that I will have to watch out for going backwards and thinking about drinking again. I can see myself thinking that I got everything over with so I can drink again at home and just not drive anywhere. I am going to write a note to my future self next year to be very conscious of what I just went through and if it is worth throwing my hard work away and the possible consequences of going back instead of going forward. Seriously, the day I get the interlock off I think I need to sit down and read all I have wrote in my journal esp the jail part and all of the mandatory things that I was required to do/esp the feelings that went along with all that/esp the anxiety, the worry of my life flying apart and how I had no control over it.
So in regards of all the stuff I wrote above, I will be continually watching out for posts where others are writing about the small trivial things that give them comfort or make their life easier and more importantly stronger in any way. You guys and this board are the experts in the knowledge I seek. It isn't in books by college-professional people - it's in you, the people who are living it and know from experience. Thank you for all you have shared and in advance for all you may share in this journey. ♥

wax I wish you the best in setting up your routines and ways of living in your new place - let go of what isn't helping - let this experience be exciting!! it's a new beginning in your life-we are all rooting for you.
GB - I liked what you said to Kit "you are a new creation in your sobriety." That's what I am babystepping towards.
viper - I have had dreams like that before at times when I tried to quit and I am sure to have them again. I remember it being horrible waking up but then feeling good that it wasn't for real.
bob - so sorry about your loss. There is someone that I've known forever that just passed -she is being mourned by all. She was only a year older than me.
I have no plans of going out anywhere for a long time but still reading and gleaning the wisdom of handling different situations. Thru all these years of drinking I have wound down to no real friends only the superficial ones I have at work and I rarely have been around anyone other than work for years. So looking at a silver lining in the future when I do start making friends- I can choose the non-alcohol ones in real life..... I definitely got a good start here with a bunch of smart, caring, honest online ones xoxo
Happy Sober Saturday peeps
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Old 11-11-2017, 05:17 AM
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Kit: Nice job in changing that wording to a more confident powerful you!

Soul: Love how you underlined "was" alcohol. That's the kind of positive, definitive wording that we need to have. So go words follows actions. Great job!

Psalm 144:2 He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.
In the midst of battle, its easy to get caught up in the fight and begin to think that we are alone. But the reality is that we are never alone because our biggest ally is right there in the midst!

For non-Christians, we can apply this easily. Thinking we are alone but realizing that we aren't. We have allies, even as far as here in the October Club!
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Old 11-11-2017, 05:28 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Good morning October group!

So grateful for a Saturday morning to sleep in, that I got up at 5:30am!

Dee - love the new quote in your sig line , I have something similar hanging in my office.

Getbetter - I think the vodka bottle cap may be a sign from God to clean my truck as well - . I have been using the "why" technique also for the last 10+ years - great way to get to the root of any problem. Another thing I challange myself, employees and family on is the use of "cant" and "won't" - relates back to having choices in life.

Hope all have a great weekend!

Ba bam!
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Old 11-11-2017, 05:39 AM
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Mornin Class! Day 39 today

Crisp and sunny mornin here in Pa. Not sure what the weekend holds yet.

Gonna backtrack and read all the posts I missed yesterday.

Have a great weekend all

Brighten
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Old 11-11-2017, 06:21 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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In the midst of battle, its easy to get caught up in the fight and begin to think that we are alone

That describes a little (maybe a lot) of my thinking when I was sitting here at the house drinking. I felt alone, apart from what I "thought" everyone else in the world was doing. I'm glad to be a part of this group and hope to be in other groups in the future (finding my tribe). My thoughts have and do work against me. I need to be conscious of that - even when I am in the midst and find it hard to do, I still just need to be conscious of it.
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Old 11-11-2017, 06:35 AM
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Last edited by SoulShine8; 11-11-2017 at 06:35 AM. Reason: double post
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Old 11-11-2017, 07:51 AM
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Morning to everyone and happy Saturday. Just a quick check-in as I am @ work. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate this place and everyone here. Not too focused on counting days - but it is #22 for me.

Soul - love your insightful posts and attitude - you truly have a gift with words and great self awareness.

Kit - I am also in sales - and boy it is tough! I'm really trying to overhaul my attitude and approach - practically speaking I need this job now more than ever! Might as well make the most of it instead of complaining all the time. There's enough negativity in my office without me adding to it.

Well off to sale sale sale! Enjoy your Saturday
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