24 Hour Recovery Connection Part 306
Well, here comes a long post. I need to get this out somehow because it’s eating me up inside. It’s a contributing factor in the last relapse.
I have brother who’s just toxic. I haven’t had any contact with him for a year now. My problems with alcohol pale in comparison with his. He drank and smoked his way into a pacemaker. He didn’t slow his drinking down until he threatened with being fired. He didn’t stop until a doctor told him he’d die if he didn’t stop drinking. He even continued drinking after the pacemaker was put in. He still doesn’t think he’s an alcoholic.
He thinks his siblings are required to take care of him because he got all the bad DNA when he was born. When my mother was still alive, there were times he would lie and con her into giving him money so, he could pay his bills and, continue drinking
A couple of weeks back he called my 66 year old sister and, suggested that she comes to his house once a week and clean, do laundry and go grocery shopping for him. This is on top of everything else that is done for him by his siblings. He makes excellent money and can pay to get these things done for him easily. My sister lives an hour away from him and, is under a lot of stress to begin with.
My sister called after this request was made and told me about it. She was quite angry. About a day later she had a TIA. Two days later she had a full blown stroke. I can’t help but wonder if his request wasn’t a factor in the stroke.
Now it’s come to light that he’s read one book on spirituality. He’s now been born again and, has turned his life over to God. He thinks God can cure everything.
My other sister has severe mental health disabilities. She’s on medication to control her behavior. She always will be. The medicine is a completely nonnegotiable point. She’s stopped taking it in the past and, it’s always turns into a disaster.
Now my brother is trying to convince her to turn her life over to god and, become a spiritual person. Because if she does, God will heal her and, she’ll be able to stop taking her medication. I’m a believer but, Gods not going to cure my sister.
He’s done other equally bizarre things too. I won’t go into those.
Needless to say my anger is through the roof right now. It’s not going away. I laid in bed last night and, thought about this and everything else that’s screwed up in my life and, just started crying. I finally took some PM cold medication to help me sleep.
I'm hoping and praying that this the bottom. I don’t know if I can take much more. All I know is I’m not going to drink today.
I have brother who’s just toxic. I haven’t had any contact with him for a year now. My problems with alcohol pale in comparison with his. He drank and smoked his way into a pacemaker. He didn’t slow his drinking down until he threatened with being fired. He didn’t stop until a doctor told him he’d die if he didn’t stop drinking. He even continued drinking after the pacemaker was put in. He still doesn’t think he’s an alcoholic.
He thinks his siblings are required to take care of him because he got all the bad DNA when he was born. When my mother was still alive, there were times he would lie and con her into giving him money so, he could pay his bills and, continue drinking
A couple of weeks back he called my 66 year old sister and, suggested that she comes to his house once a week and clean, do laundry and go grocery shopping for him. This is on top of everything else that is done for him by his siblings. He makes excellent money and can pay to get these things done for him easily. My sister lives an hour away from him and, is under a lot of stress to begin with.
My sister called after this request was made and told me about it. She was quite angry. About a day later she had a TIA. Two days later she had a full blown stroke. I can’t help but wonder if his request wasn’t a factor in the stroke.
Now it’s come to light that he’s read one book on spirituality. He’s now been born again and, has turned his life over to God. He thinks God can cure everything.
My other sister has severe mental health disabilities. She’s on medication to control her behavior. She always will be. The medicine is a completely nonnegotiable point. She’s stopped taking it in the past and, it’s always turns into a disaster.
Now my brother is trying to convince her to turn her life over to god and, become a spiritual person. Because if she does, God will heal her and, she’ll be able to stop taking her medication. I’m a believer but, Gods not going to cure my sister.
He’s done other equally bizarre things too. I won’t go into those.
Needless to say my anger is through the roof right now. It’s not going away. I laid in bed last night and, thought about this and everything else that’s screwed up in my life and, just started crying. I finally took some PM cold medication to help me sleep.
I'm hoping and praying that this the bottom. I don’t know if I can take much more. All I know is I’m not going to drink today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Portsmouth, England
Posts: 818
Congrats to everyone celebrating a milestone today.
Jsm I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Try as we might, you can't control your brothers erratic behavior or even the way it impacts on your other siblings - but you can control your reaction to it all.
To me thats key - I have a challenging family - when I stay sober and calm I tend to be more effective and they tend to be more cooperative.
Prayers and best wishes for you, your brother, your sister and a full recovery for her.
D
Jsm I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Try as we might, you can't control your brothers erratic behavior or even the way it impacts on your other siblings - but you can control your reaction to it all.
To me thats key - I have a challenging family - when I stay sober and calm I tend to be more effective and they tend to be more cooperative.
Prayers and best wishes for you, your brother, your sister and a full recovery for her.
D
(((jsm))) that is a hell lof a lot to cope with I'm so sorry. I guess trying to seperate yourself from it is impossible if your sisters are involved amd unwell too. Gosh what a mess! I know it's hard but you can only do so much as your own sobriety and health is at risk too.
Now the anger makes sense.....but remember what you once told me (and Dee too) drinking on a resentment is like pouring poison down your throat and expecting the other person to die.
Try and rest today if possible you've got a lot to deal with. Lots of love to you xxx
Now the anger makes sense.....but remember what you once told me (and Dee too) drinking on a resentment is like pouring poison down your throat and expecting the other person to die.
Try and rest today if possible you've got a lot to deal with. Lots of love to you xxx
jsm - I have a sibling like that, and there's a similar family dynamic. I've personally distanced myself from her, but I feel the need to step in when she starts trying to take advantage of vulnerable family members (i.e. my elderly parents). It's been a challenge to my sobriety in the past, I must admit. I don't have much advice, other than **hugs** and I've been there before too.
Good morning SR peeps! It's 7:28am here in Mississauga. I'm in for another lovely 24 on this gorgeous Autumn day.
This morning I'm heading to my 2nd pipe & drum band practice. I've been practicing my rudiments, and I've had to seriously unlearn some bad habits from my previous drumming experience. Even something as "simple" has how to properly hold the drum stick! Pipe drumming is SUPER technical and not for the faint of heart!
This morning I'm heading to my 2nd pipe & drum band practice. I've been practicing my rudiments, and I've had to seriously unlearn some bad habits from my previous drumming experience. Even something as "simple" has how to properly hold the drum stick! Pipe drumming is SUPER technical and not for the faint of heart!
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