Class of March 2016 part 59
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 593
Morning Sam and everyone. Happy sober Thursday!
PJ you are an amazing resource and a model of recovery. We're all lucky to have you around!
Great fall weather continues here. I love it! Have a good day, make it good, savor it in ways small or large.
PJ you are an amazing resource and a model of recovery. We're all lucky to have you around!
Great fall weather continues here. I love it! Have a good day, make it good, savor it in ways small or large.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Morning!!
Pelagic - Love the quote. I'm truly working on the conscious endeavor these days. Makes for a lot more peace in bobbie's world.
PHX - glad she has you. I'm glad you have her.
MITA - Have an awesome day.
Mish - sweet dreams.
BBG - today is going to be awesome!
PCBH - Happy freaking Thursday!
Purple - always cool when the student becomes the teacher.
PR - have an awesome day. Hope you get some weather break. It's nice and fall like here.
Thanks everyone for the congrats. Made dinner for the family last night. My parents and niece and her husband were there. We had 4 generations of love last night. I am just feeling a lot of love these days.
Have the best day ever! I will!!
Pelagic - Love the quote. I'm truly working on the conscious endeavor these days. Makes for a lot more peace in bobbie's world.
PHX - glad she has you. I'm glad you have her.
MITA - Have an awesome day.
Mish - sweet dreams.
BBG - today is going to be awesome!
PCBH - Happy freaking Thursday!
Purple - always cool when the student becomes the teacher.
PR - have an awesome day. Hope you get some weather break. It's nice and fall like here.
Thanks everyone for the congrats. Made dinner for the family last night. My parents and niece and her husband were there. We had 4 generations of love last night. I am just feeling a lot of love these days.
Have the best day ever! I will!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
HA! I have a dream.... or rather had one- perhaps an REM wakey intuitive thing.
I have been pissing and moaning about how a doctor treated me- for telling the truth. About getting tired about this and that and woe is me. So my assignment (and I have chosen to take it) now is to look carefully at what I have done- achieved and qualifications/experiences/career- blah de blah (I stole that from a friend)- like the ol' SWOT analysis. Then PLAN what it is I am going to direct me at doing..not just a bit of this and that. Not mindfully doing the 'let go - let god' bit. If I let go completely- (if there is a ) God will sign and think..'oh well another one gone'. Nothing is just going to happen- I need to shape this. Living in the moment is a good philosophy...but I need to be cognisant of the future. With no family..or 'normal' friends- and the professional network I have now at maintenance level (down to minimal counseling) I have to double my efforts- for me. Not get lost in the wash of 'now' activities. Such as running meetings, volunteer stuff.
Basically I lack focus.
The song-beard remains the same. Very 'eavy, very 'umble.
I have been pissing and moaning about how a doctor treated me- for telling the truth. About getting tired about this and that and woe is me. So my assignment (and I have chosen to take it) now is to look carefully at what I have done- achieved and qualifications/experiences/career- blah de blah (I stole that from a friend)- like the ol' SWOT analysis. Then PLAN what it is I am going to direct me at doing..not just a bit of this and that. Not mindfully doing the 'let go - let god' bit. If I let go completely- (if there is a ) God will sign and think..'oh well another one gone'. Nothing is just going to happen- I need to shape this. Living in the moment is a good philosophy...but I need to be cognisant of the future. With no family..or 'normal' friends- and the professional network I have now at maintenance level (down to minimal counseling) I have to double my efforts- for me. Not get lost in the wash of 'now' activities. Such as running meetings, volunteer stuff.
Basically I lack focus.
The song-beard remains the same. Very 'eavy, very 'umble.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
I have decided this- after losing a Nobel non prize winning post.
My life lacks a long term focus for the future. Running meetings and volunteer stuff fills in the hours..but it will still be exactly the same in 10 years. I need to keep moving- so time to stop whining about burns and doctors and being alone- and redouble my efforts in shaping my future. Like the ol' SWOT analysis (Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats).
Mindful practice does not help with a fulfilling future. I run meetings- be-c it is the right thing to do, but do not feel the love, volunteer work- fills the hours- but will be exactly the same in 10 years- no growth..
My counseling sessions are now in maintenance mode- down to minimum. My time in recovery now draws to a close. So to keep moving I am going to look very closely at what I do, who I am and have achieved and work out a plan.
IF I live just for today- with no specific focus, the 'let go, let god' bit..God (whatever that is) will just sigh and say- 'well I got nuthin' - byeee', I will still be where I am - now in my life-stagnating.
I have a solid recovery time now. So by the end of this year- I have to have at least a clear idea of where my life will go. With no family- and surrounded only by damaged people in various stages of recovery (who I like, but they are draining) I gotta push a bit more- me thinks. But with focus- not just with berserker attack energy. One does not perform brain surgery with a sledge hammer. This week has been particularly difficult- the burns stuff - PTSD flashbacks, no fam. to share with, giving- but not having support to/from others. BUT I have me- and I know for this plan, that is enough..for now. I will not stop doing what I am doing..until I find a better way. Recovery stuff is still an equal priority, but no longer is a survival first.
If I could find a way of getting the Original music for Star Trek to play while you lot read this post, I would. That would Shatnerise it nicely (an actual word I think, meaning when something is so bad- it is good).
Do something nice for someone with a beard.
My life lacks a long term focus for the future. Running meetings and volunteer stuff fills in the hours..but it will still be exactly the same in 10 years. I need to keep moving- so time to stop whining about burns and doctors and being alone- and redouble my efforts in shaping my future. Like the ol' SWOT analysis (Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats).
Mindful practice does not help with a fulfilling future. I run meetings- be-c it is the right thing to do, but do not feel the love, volunteer work- fills the hours- but will be exactly the same in 10 years- no growth..
My counseling sessions are now in maintenance mode- down to minimum. My time in recovery now draws to a close. So to keep moving I am going to look very closely at what I do, who I am and have achieved and work out a plan.
IF I live just for today- with no specific focus, the 'let go, let god' bit..God (whatever that is) will just sigh and say- 'well I got nuthin' - byeee', I will still be where I am - now in my life-stagnating.
I have a solid recovery time now. So by the end of this year- I have to have at least a clear idea of where my life will go. With no family- and surrounded only by damaged people in various stages of recovery (who I like, but they are draining) I gotta push a bit more- me thinks. But with focus- not just with berserker attack energy. One does not perform brain surgery with a sledge hammer. This week has been particularly difficult- the burns stuff - PTSD flashbacks, no fam. to share with, giving- but not having support to/from others. BUT I have me- and I know for this plan, that is enough..for now. I will not stop doing what I am doing..until I find a better way. Recovery stuff is still an equal priority, but no longer is a survival first.
If I could find a way of getting the Original music for Star Trek to play while you lot read this post, I would. That would Shatnerise it nicely (an actual word I think, meaning when something is so bad- it is good).
Do something nice for someone with a beard.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,679
I hope all are doing well.
Beautiful baby, Granny B! She’s lucky to have you.
I don’t have much to offer beyond a reflection or two. I have a dear friend going through some serious life upheaval, none of which is alcohol/drug related. It’s just a cruddy sequence of events that decided to pack into six months. I wondered how I could handle it as I keep saying to hang on and that it will get better. The answer is that I doubt I could. My drinking claims every essence of my being, leaving me a shell. It’s not that this is some new realization, it’s that I need to put words to it.
I thought about, in offering my place as somewhere to stay, wow the extent of my issue may really finally be known if I don’t get it together. It became less about helping and more about protecting my issue from view. Most have been there in various ways and circumstances. That led me to a potential alternative as I cannot provide lodging for an extended period. That then led me to consider when my brother got sober. These don’t tie together well as I’m omitting many aspects, but stick with me please.
So, that led me to remember the last time I saw my brother. He showed up randomly where I was staying at the time. He was sober, I was hung over (I didn’t have a problem…yet). I was so frustrated and annoyed that he’d just drop in like that. What I realize now, far too late, is that he had much more time being sober. He was reaching out and trying to make the most of his sober life. We went out to lunch and watched a little TV and that was the last time I saw him alive. I’d like to believe that the time he had and that he spent with family was fruitful.
We were on good terms after years of occasional brother fight stuff. So that day he left and some number of days later took his life. He’d seemingly escaped the booze and yet there were other problems. Counseling and other such items were being utilized but it wasn’t enough. After well over a decade I’m only beginning to understand his struggle. He had a family, I don’t. He had such a reason to live; I do too, but in all this time it’s not sunk in enough. To think how long I’ve outlived him and continued to drink is not easy to contemplate so I don’t think about it.
I got into this thought process by once again considering all the time I’d have by not drinking. Yes, I’m still off the wagon. My apologies. I thought about filling that time and I went down a mental rabbit hole.
This disjointed mess of a post is what I have today. I doubt it makes much sense but I felt I needed to say something.
I’d also like to thank Sam for her earlier post. That’s a large part of what helped me post this after lots of writing. Realizing even simple things can lead to breakthroughs. Sharing them can help others. I am trying on both counts to realize and share.
Beautiful baby, Granny B! She’s lucky to have you.
I don’t have much to offer beyond a reflection or two. I have a dear friend going through some serious life upheaval, none of which is alcohol/drug related. It’s just a cruddy sequence of events that decided to pack into six months. I wondered how I could handle it as I keep saying to hang on and that it will get better. The answer is that I doubt I could. My drinking claims every essence of my being, leaving me a shell. It’s not that this is some new realization, it’s that I need to put words to it.
I thought about, in offering my place as somewhere to stay, wow the extent of my issue may really finally be known if I don’t get it together. It became less about helping and more about protecting my issue from view. Most have been there in various ways and circumstances. That led me to a potential alternative as I cannot provide lodging for an extended period. That then led me to consider when my brother got sober. These don’t tie together well as I’m omitting many aspects, but stick with me please.
So, that led me to remember the last time I saw my brother. He showed up randomly where I was staying at the time. He was sober, I was hung over (I didn’t have a problem…yet). I was so frustrated and annoyed that he’d just drop in like that. What I realize now, far too late, is that he had much more time being sober. He was reaching out and trying to make the most of his sober life. We went out to lunch and watched a little TV and that was the last time I saw him alive. I’d like to believe that the time he had and that he spent with family was fruitful.
We were on good terms after years of occasional brother fight stuff. So that day he left and some number of days later took his life. He’d seemingly escaped the booze and yet there were other problems. Counseling and other such items were being utilized but it wasn’t enough. After well over a decade I’m only beginning to understand his struggle. He had a family, I don’t. He had such a reason to live; I do too, but in all this time it’s not sunk in enough. To think how long I’ve outlived him and continued to drink is not easy to contemplate so I don’t think about it.
I got into this thought process by once again considering all the time I’d have by not drinking. Yes, I’m still off the wagon. My apologies. I thought about filling that time and I went down a mental rabbit hole.
This disjointed mess of a post is what I have today. I doubt it makes much sense but I felt I needed to say something.
I’d also like to thank Sam for her earlier post. That’s a large part of what helped me post this after lots of writing. Realizing even simple things can lead to breakthroughs. Sharing them can help others. I am trying on both counts to realize and share.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
BBG, nice work handling the car troubles - everybody has their own little things - good that you recognize that.
PJ, you will figure something out. I do think it's necessary to try and plan a little bit past the immediate "dealing with recovery thing" - just allow some room for the plan to change as things happen.
Thirteenth, good to see you. Sounds like you still have some stuff to figure out - life is messy, that's a fact. It's easier to think clearly when you let the brain dry out.
I thought I was going to be able to goof off tomorrow. Maybe not so much. I'll have some work to do in the morning - more than I want - and then, I forgot, I have a stress test in the afternoon. I hate those things. Oh well, if they are gonna deliberately stress my heart out, I guess the best place to do it is at the doctors.
Have a good night everyone!!
PJ, you will figure something out. I do think it's necessary to try and plan a little bit past the immediate "dealing with recovery thing" - just allow some room for the plan to change as things happen.
Thirteenth, good to see you. Sounds like you still have some stuff to figure out - life is messy, that's a fact. It's easier to think clearly when you let the brain dry out.
I thought I was going to be able to goof off tomorrow. Maybe not so much. I'll have some work to do in the morning - more than I want - and then, I forgot, I have a stress test in the afternoon. I hate those things. Oh well, if they are gonna deliberately stress my heart out, I guess the best place to do it is at the doctors.
Have a good night everyone!!
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ 
HA! I have a dream.... or rather had one- perhaps an REM wakey intuitive thing.
I have been pissing and moaning about how a doctor treated me- for telling the truth. About getting tired about this and that and woe is me. So my assignment (and I have chosen to take it) now is to look carefully at what I have done- achieved and qualifications/experiences/career- blah de blah (I stole that from a friend)- like the ol' SWOT analysis. Then PLAN what it is I am going to direct me at doing..not just a bit of this and that. Not mindfully doing the 'let go - let god' bit. If I let go completely- (if there is a ) God will sign and think..'oh well another one gone'. Nothing is just going to happen- I need to shape this. Living in the moment is a good philosophy...but I need to be cognisant of the future. With no family..or 'normal' friends- and the professional network I have now at maintenance level (down to minimal counseling) I have to double my efforts- for me. Not get lost in the wash of 'now' activities. Such as running meetings, volunteer stuff.
Basically I lack focus.
The song-beard remains the same. Very 'eavy, very 'umble.
I have been pissing and moaning about how a doctor treated me- for telling the truth. About getting tired about this and that and woe is me. So my assignment (and I have chosen to take it) now is to look carefully at what I have done- achieved and qualifications/experiences/career- blah de blah (I stole that from a friend)- like the ol' SWOT analysis. Then PLAN what it is I am going to direct me at doing..not just a bit of this and that. Not mindfully doing the 'let go - let god' bit. If I let go completely- (if there is a ) God will sign and think..'oh well another one gone'. Nothing is just going to happen- I need to shape this. Living in the moment is a good philosophy...but I need to be cognisant of the future. With no family..or 'normal' friends- and the professional network I have now at maintenance level (down to minimal counseling) I have to double my efforts- for me. Not get lost in the wash of 'now' activities. Such as running meetings, volunteer stuff.
Basically I lack focus.
The song-beard remains the same. Very 'eavy, very 'umble.
I too have been P&M’ing about my career...and at this point the biggest impediment to me moving forward...frankly IS me. So comfortable complaining about who did me wrong, gender discrimination, idiots in management...blah blah blah. Stuck in a bad place, yet I stay there voluntarily. So happy to stay the victim.
Anyway...whew. Think I’ll work on my resume this weekend while I’m in f’ing Las Vegas not drinking. Something to focus on. Gosh I don’t want to go there.
Thank you and good luck on your progress. You’ll do great! SWOT analysis works for me all the time when I face something big!
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
MITA - hope the stress test comes out ok! I just got told I need to do that...all I could think was, why would my heart attack me? I love her!
Kiki - you are always so busy! Be well too.
13th - love and support to you.
Just returned from a trip and I’m exhausted. Just put on my sweat pants and took some melatonin for some yummy sleep.
David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” is in my head...only singing “Sweat pants” to the tune instead. Case of the giggles.
Nite all
Kiki - you are always so busy! Be well too.
13th - love and support to you.
Just returned from a trip and I’m exhausted. Just put on my sweat pants and took some melatonin for some yummy sleep.
David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” is in my head...only singing “Sweat pants” to the tune instead. Case of the giggles.
Nite all
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
PJ sometimes when I try to leap ahead too far I forget to watch where I'm going right now and I run into a lampost...
I don't think I know any with more get up and go than you, or anyone more geared to self improvement.
We all hit a lull occasionally but I'm confident that whatever you'll be doing in ten years time it will be a full life, man.
D
I don't think I know any with more get up and go than you, or anyone more geared to self improvement.
We all hit a lull occasionally but I'm confident that whatever you'll be doing in ten years time it will be a full life, man.
D
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