Class of September 2017 Support Thread Part 3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Didn’t get through Friday night. When I start feeling really good, is when I need something in place.
New Bladerunner. I thought they’d royally screw it up, but it’s supposed to be great.
Plodding along
New Bladerunner. I thought they’d royally screw it up, but it’s supposed to be great.
Plodding along
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,097
Evening all, its my Friday and I am looking at the next 10 days off! Taking the two dogs and making a long road trip, from eastern oregon, to the central coast and meet up with husband and do some fishing, than north to the Vancouver Wa, area to spend some days with my bff, than on to Seattle, to hold and snuggle my new great niece who is now 6 mths old and I haven't met yet, than making a big loop home through northern washington. As you can tell I am super excited cannot wait for this shift to end! Have everything packed and ready, just going to go home and get a few hours sleep than off I go!
I am nervous though, I have 13 days sober and do not want to mess that up. My first stop will be the biggest and actually only challenge, the place I am staying are heavy drinkers, none of them are pushy, they know I have been on a fitness, weight loss program, so saying no to the wine/beer will be all up to me. I am not a soda drinker, but am planning on stocking up on different mineral waters, I have heard of this "essance" water that I would like to try, if I can find it. As I was packing today it was reassuring and also a relief, not to be trying to figure out a way to hide anything. I have been thinking and focusing on the paranoia and anxiety that my drinking causes me. It is not worth it. I can already feel the AV trying to kick in, making excuses, rationalizing. I will have service at most areas that I am in, so I will be keeping all of you close to my heart and between me and the AV!
It is early in my shift so will be checking in later. thank you all for letting me ramble!
Badge
I am nervous though, I have 13 days sober and do not want to mess that up. My first stop will be the biggest and actually only challenge, the place I am staying are heavy drinkers, none of them are pushy, they know I have been on a fitness, weight loss program, so saying no to the wine/beer will be all up to me. I am not a soda drinker, but am planning on stocking up on different mineral waters, I have heard of this "essance" water that I would like to try, if I can find it. As I was packing today it was reassuring and also a relief, not to be trying to figure out a way to hide anything. I have been thinking and focusing on the paranoia and anxiety that my drinking causes me. It is not worth it. I can already feel the AV trying to kick in, making excuses, rationalizing. I will have service at most areas that I am in, so I will be keeping all of you close to my heart and between me and the AV!
It is early in my shift so will be checking in later. thank you all for letting me ramble!
Badge
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 171
Your trip sounds amazing Badgergarden - I hope you have the time to update us from the road. If not, have a wonderful time! Enjoy the baby snuggles.
I'm on day 34, trucking along. I hope you're all going well.
I'm on day 34, trucking along. I hope you're all going well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Check in before bed. I’m hooked on Live PD. So wrong, but addictive. 30 cameras with high action police departments across the US, and they just keep going from incident to incedent.
Badgerden - I just looked at that Essence Water you mentioned. I drink ESSENTIA Water. I don’t think we know what real water tastes like anymore. Wow. The stuff you mentioned is a bit ‘better.’ 10 PH vs Essentia 9.5 PH. High alkaline, ultra pure. I just downed 1.5 liters of it and have another 1.5 one in the fridge. I get the Essentia for $2 at Whole Foods. I drink a lot of it. Cheaper than wine!
Night
Viper
Badgerden - I just looked at that Essence Water you mentioned. I drink ESSENTIA Water. I don’t think we know what real water tastes like anymore. Wow. The stuff you mentioned is a bit ‘better.’ 10 PH vs Essentia 9.5 PH. High alkaline, ultra pure. I just downed 1.5 liters of it and have another 1.5 one in the fridge. I get the Essentia for $2 at Whole Foods. I drink a lot of it. Cheaper than wine!
Night
Viper
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Day 34 coming to a close.
I have been going back and forth with thoughts of having a beer or 2 or 3 or drinks, it's been forever, what could go wrong? I started breaking out for some reason too, but sleeping has been better. I get 7-8 hours now regularly and when I can I even nap in the afternoon. I don't know why I'm so tired, maybe it's caught up with me from the weeks of restless and sleepless nights and waking up at the crack of dawn no matter how late I went to bed. Slept in until 9:30 am this morning - a miracle. I drink a few coffee's every morning but still feel tired by mid day. I don't want to mess that up, insomnia is worse. At least i can zone out, I love sleeping.
Just gotta keep from acting out on my thoughts and giving in. Maintain. They've been bugging me daily now and honestly, I tell myself that I can't say I will never drink again. Just not today. Best would be if I didn't have these thoughts or that it could be okay or pass for a normal person if they did have a few drinks. Why can't I be a normal person? What if i could.
I guess I really need to keep in mind how much I'd regret it the day after, the hangover and whatnot I'd say or do, and how it's not worth it even if for one night, even if i were normal and never had a problem with it.
I have been going back and forth with thoughts of having a beer or 2 or 3 or drinks, it's been forever, what could go wrong? I started breaking out for some reason too, but sleeping has been better. I get 7-8 hours now regularly and when I can I even nap in the afternoon. I don't know why I'm so tired, maybe it's caught up with me from the weeks of restless and sleepless nights and waking up at the crack of dawn no matter how late I went to bed. Slept in until 9:30 am this morning - a miracle. I drink a few coffee's every morning but still feel tired by mid day. I don't want to mess that up, insomnia is worse. At least i can zone out, I love sleeping.
Just gotta keep from acting out on my thoughts and giving in. Maintain. They've been bugging me daily now and honestly, I tell myself that I can't say I will never drink again. Just not today. Best would be if I didn't have these thoughts or that it could be okay or pass for a normal person if they did have a few drinks. Why can't I be a normal person? What if i could.
I guess I really need to keep in mind how much I'd regret it the day after, the hangover and whatnot I'd say or do, and how it's not worth it even if for one night, even if i were normal and never had a problem with it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
I'm sorry it's a rough time for you Caprice.
The temptation to 'have a few' to take the edge off can be very real - but the reality is it doesn't work and you'll end up feeling worse than you do now.
I sympathise about the roommate too, but in a sense we're all surrounded by drinkers. We can't let that grind us down.
When I was new and struggling I was told that things would get better - I didn't really believe it but I felt like I owed myself a shot at staying sober.
I had a few underlying issues that I'd self medicated over, and dealing with those until I found the right sort of help and the right sort of Dr was hard - but the support here helped.
Don't give in - you're absolutely on the right road
D
The temptation to 'have a few' to take the edge off can be very real - but the reality is it doesn't work and you'll end up feeling worse than you do now.
I sympathise about the roommate too, but in a sense we're all surrounded by drinkers. We can't let that grind us down.
When I was new and struggling I was told that things would get better - I didn't really believe it but I felt like I owed myself a shot at staying sober.
I had a few underlying issues that I'd self medicated over, and dealing with those until I found the right sort of help and the right sort of Dr was hard - but the support here helped.
Don't give in - you're absolutely on the right road
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Hey Badger07, 19 days until you this! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aZlX6Z-Ofo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Caprice, the whole thought process of ‘I just need a couple,’ or ‘I need one night to forget everything,’ is a total no go. You know it leads to disaster. We both know it.
Meanwhile I’m just trying to get a week under my belt so i can even be at the point of having those thoughts.
I’m feeling pretty done. It might be a good time for a ‘surge’ on my part. My calves and tendons are in knots. Im very warm. Im in a constant ‘hot flash’. My allergies are nasty and can’t stop rubbing my itchy eyes.
The one thing I can say that helps me stop and actually makes it easy, is hope, a goal of some kind that provides hope. I’ve felt hopeless for 25 years. I got sick back then. It’s easy to sit in that, and after 2 decades it’s all you know. No therapy or coaching is taking me out of it.
I didn’t sleep well. When I woke up I thought it was still midnight. It was 7. I showered and got out of the house. Now I need an hour nap, so I’m going back to the house. I won’t be drinking today that’s for sure.
Good luck everyone
Viper
Meanwhile I’m just trying to get a week under my belt so i can even be at the point of having those thoughts.
I’m feeling pretty done. It might be a good time for a ‘surge’ on my part. My calves and tendons are in knots. Im very warm. Im in a constant ‘hot flash’. My allergies are nasty and can’t stop rubbing my itchy eyes.
The one thing I can say that helps me stop and actually makes it easy, is hope, a goal of some kind that provides hope. I’ve felt hopeless for 25 years. I got sick back then. It’s easy to sit in that, and after 2 decades it’s all you know. No therapy or coaching is taking me out of it.
I didn’t sleep well. When I woke up I thought it was still midnight. It was 7. I showered and got out of the house. Now I need an hour nap, so I’m going back to the house. I won’t be drinking today that’s for sure.
Good luck everyone
Viper
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Good morning everyone!
Readyatlast, I don't like serving the wine, but yes, it is my job. I'm an activity director in an assisted living center and every Friday is 'Wine and Cheese' party. Usually, it doesn't get to me. I was never a wine drinker, unless there was nothing else to drink.
But when I'm feeling stressed or in some way more vulnerable, it is a problem. The smell and the look of it and seeing people get all tipsy can be a trigger. I use to drink right along with them, which could have lost me my job!
I actually have the opportunity to assign another staff member to do this. He doesn't want to, and is not very good at running parties, so I haven't done it yet, but I really need to!
Another good thing is that there is an AA meeting at 5:30 that I can get to, a few minutes late, and it seems to erase the damage done.
Thanks for caring. Enjoy your holidays!
Caprice, I hope this dangerous thinking goes away. I use to have that every day, too. I so feel for you, it's a terrible feeling. What can you do toward getting past it without drinking? Do you have any idea what's causing it? Of course, being an alcoholic is cause number one, but we can get to a comfortable place where those thoughts are rare and not part of our daily lives.
Badgergarden Have fun on your trip! It sounds fantastic. I would be nervous about staying with the drinking crowd, too. I hope it goes easy. I love the idea of bringing your own drinks. I have a 'replacement drink' too. It's juice, which is really fattening and not good for me, but not as bad as alcohol by a long shot!
I hope everyone has a wonderful sober Sunday. I'm at day 48, I think that's right, and am amazed!
Readyatlast, I don't like serving the wine, but yes, it is my job. I'm an activity director in an assisted living center and every Friday is 'Wine and Cheese' party. Usually, it doesn't get to me. I was never a wine drinker, unless there was nothing else to drink.
But when I'm feeling stressed or in some way more vulnerable, it is a problem. The smell and the look of it and seeing people get all tipsy can be a trigger. I use to drink right along with them, which could have lost me my job!
I actually have the opportunity to assign another staff member to do this. He doesn't want to, and is not very good at running parties, so I haven't done it yet, but I really need to!
Another good thing is that there is an AA meeting at 5:30 that I can get to, a few minutes late, and it seems to erase the damage done.
Thanks for caring. Enjoy your holidays!
Caprice, I hope this dangerous thinking goes away. I use to have that every day, too. I so feel for you, it's a terrible feeling. What can you do toward getting past it without drinking? Do you have any idea what's causing it? Of course, being an alcoholic is cause number one, but we can get to a comfortable place where those thoughts are rare and not part of our daily lives.
Badgergarden Have fun on your trip! It sounds fantastic. I would be nervous about staying with the drinking crowd, too. I hope it goes easy. I love the idea of bringing your own drinks. I have a 'replacement drink' too. It's juice, which is really fattening and not good for me, but not as bad as alcohol by a long shot!
I hope everyone has a wonderful sober Sunday. I'm at day 48, I think that's right, and am amazed!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
I forgot to say to Viper: I am praying for you and sending positive thoughts your way. What are you doing to help you get into recovery? What is your plan? Not to be nosey, I'm just wondering. I have been right where you're at and know how painful it is. Big hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Yeah, viper man, I'm a little worried too. Maybe we could both hit up the 24 hour thread too for a few days and see how that goes. Anyway, I'm thinking of you🙂
As a side note, I'm really sorry for not replying to everyone individually. It's just I do all my SR stuff on my phone and it's not the easiest for writing replies😌
As a side note, I'm really sorry for not replying to everyone individually. It's just I do all my SR stuff on my phone and it's not the easiest for writing replies😌
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by Viperidae 
Stronger, a bigger phone helps. I’m on one if he big iPhones and it makes a huge difference. I use it for a lot so it’s worth it.
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