24 Hour Recovery Connection Part 296
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by erfra7 
Peace with the Past
Even God cannot change the past.
—Agathon
Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow.
"I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either trying to change it, or I was letting it control me. Usually both.
"I constantly felt guilty about things that had happened. Things I had done; things others had done to me - even though I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything was somehow my fault. I could never just let it go.
"I held on to anger for years, telling myself it was justified. I was in denial about a lot of things. Sometimes, I'd try to absolutely forget about my past, but I never really stopped and sorted through it; my past was like a dark cloud that followed me around, and I couldn't shake clear of it. I guess I was scared to let it go, afraid of today, afraid of tomorrow.
I've been recovering now for years, and it has taken me almost as many years to gain the proper perspective on my past. I'm learning I can't forget it; I need to heal from it. I need to feel and let go of any feelings I still have, especially anger.
"I need to stop blaming myself for painful events that took place, and trust that everything has happened on schedule, and truly all is okay. I've learned to stop regretting, and to start being grateful.
"When I think about the past, I thank God for the healing and the memory. If something occurs that needs an amend, I make it and am done with it. I've learned to look at my past with compassion for myself, trusting that my Higher Power was in control, even then.
"I've healed from some of the worst things that happened to me. I've made peace with myself about these issues, and I've learned that healing from some of these issues has enabled me to help others to heal too. I'm able to see how the worst things helped form my character and developed some of my finer points.
"I've even developed gratitude for my failed relationships because they have brought me to who and where I am today.
"What I've learned has been acceptance - without guilt, anger, blame, or shame. I've even had to learn to accept the years I spent feeling guilty, angry, shameful, and blaming."
We cannot control the past. But we can transform it by allowing ourselves to heal from it and by accepting it with love for others and ourselves. I know, because that woman is me.
Today, I will begin being grateful for my past. I cannot change what happened, but I can transform the past by owning my power, now, to accept, heal, and learn from it.
24 more for this alcoholic that is losing his perspective in life.
Even God cannot change the past.
—Agathon
Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow.
"I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either trying to change it, or I was letting it control me. Usually both.
"I constantly felt guilty about things that had happened. Things I had done; things others had done to me - even though I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything was somehow my fault. I could never just let it go.
"I held on to anger for years, telling myself it was justified. I was in denial about a lot of things. Sometimes, I'd try to absolutely forget about my past, but I never really stopped and sorted through it; my past was like a dark cloud that followed me around, and I couldn't shake clear of it. I guess I was scared to let it go, afraid of today, afraid of tomorrow.
I've been recovering now for years, and it has taken me almost as many years to gain the proper perspective on my past. I'm learning I can't forget it; I need to heal from it. I need to feel and let go of any feelings I still have, especially anger.
"I need to stop blaming myself for painful events that took place, and trust that everything has happened on schedule, and truly all is okay. I've learned to stop regretting, and to start being grateful.
"When I think about the past, I thank God for the healing and the memory. If something occurs that needs an amend, I make it and am done with it. I've learned to look at my past with compassion for myself, trusting that my Higher Power was in control, even then.
"I've healed from some of the worst things that happened to me. I've made peace with myself about these issues, and I've learned that healing from some of these issues has enabled me to help others to heal too. I'm able to see how the worst things helped form my character and developed some of my finer points.
"I've even developed gratitude for my failed relationships because they have brought me to who and where I am today.
"What I've learned has been acceptance - without guilt, anger, blame, or shame. I've even had to learn to accept the years I spent feeling guilty, angry, shameful, and blaming."
We cannot control the past. But we can transform it by allowing ourselves to heal from it and by accepting it with love for others and ourselves. I know, because that woman is me.
Today, I will begin being grateful for my past. I cannot change what happened, but I can transform the past by owning my power, now, to accept, heal, and learn from it.
24 more for this alcoholic that is losing his perspective in life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Originally Posted by venuscat
After ordering two in case one didn't arrive (and that's exactly what happened) I had the most gorgeous bouquet and I ended up leaving it inside by accident. HA!!!!
Here it is, well was because it's a bit dead....still gorgeous though....one rose in the centre surrounded by rose petals in a silver metal holder/handle....
Here it is, well was because it's a bit dead....still gorgeous though....one rose in the centre surrounded by rose petals in a silver metal holder/handle....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Ireland
Posts: 4,981
Had another chat with the lady I was talking about there now and she is not over her ex and said she is a bit of a mess at the moment. I wished all the best and told if she ever needed someone to talk to she could call me.. We left things on good terms and if it is meant to be then we will be back in touch 
So all good hope she gets things sorted out for herself..
So all good hope she gets things sorted out for herself..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,506
Originally Posted by Neoo
Had another chat with the lady I was talking about there now and she is not over her ex and said she is a bit of a mess at the moment. I wished all the best and told if she ever needed someone to talk to she could call me.. We left things on good terms and if it is meant to be then we will be back in touch So all good hope she gets things sorted out for herself..
So all good hope she gets things sorted out for herself.. 
Excellent attitude Neoo love.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
3:16 Maryland
Sitting in the waiting room in between rounds of allergy testing to finally figure out my eczema issues! It's nice to have some peace and quiet and alone time. Both boys have come down with different viruses at home. Fingers crossed I don't get either of them!
Here for 24 more hours of freedom. The old AV came out yesterday when we were at a Greek festival but I think I was just hungry. Some Greek salad and fried cheese cured the temptation, thank God.
Congrats to Nick and Suze and to all those celebrating milestones! I need to go back now to read about how the wedding was.
Sitting in the waiting room in between rounds of allergy testing to finally figure out my eczema issues! It's nice to have some peace and quiet and alone time. Both boys have come down with different viruses at home. Fingers crossed I don't get either of them!
Here for 24 more hours of freedom. The old AV came out yesterday when we were at a Greek festival but I think I was just hungry. Some Greek salad and fried cheese cured the temptation, thank God.
Congrats to Nick and Suze and to all those celebrating milestones! I need to go back now to read about how the wedding was.
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