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Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 12

Old 10-06-2017, 12:48 AM
  # 161 (permalink)  
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Flippin' 'eck!!!!!

What the heck is going on??? Steely's leaving, the thread may no longer be viable, there might be time-outs?????

What's going on guys?? We all need to take a deep breath, step back and think.

We're all recovering alcoholics. That makes us all fairly bad ass. That's a fact. Of course we're going to disagree about stuff and hold strong opinions about stuff because being strong minded is part of our make-up. But whatever our views may be we must all surely agree that in the battle against alcohol, we are stronger together.

Let's keep going. Stuff just got real, very real but let's not let it beat us. Steely, don't go. Take a break if you want to but please don't go. This is where you belong. You too Poppy. Both of you, please come back. I get that you're angry and frustrated but don't let those feelings take you away from people who love you. I really love you guys.

I'm here if ever you want to talk. Just don't go. Or if you have gone, come back. Love you xxxxx
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Old 10-06-2017, 01:09 AM
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Wow. I had a really horrible day and am currently having an intense anxiety attack. I came in to try to ground myself but I’m definitely seeing that I have no safe place to go tonight.
I feel like I’m going to toss my cookies
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Old 10-06-2017, 01:14 AM
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Plenny, I'm sorry you're having a horrible day. Do you want to talk about it? What's going on with the anxiety attack? Just try to stay calm, deep breaths. Maybe Google a 10 minute self compassion mindfulness practice... always works for me. This is still a safe place. I'm here if you need to talk. Thinking of you Plenny and sending lots of love xxxx
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Old 10-06-2017, 02:21 AM
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I keep checking to see if anyone has posted/come back. This place means so much to me, I feel really sick about what's happened. Plenny, I hope you're doing okay. Kev, Nands - be so good to hear from you. I don't know if Steely and Poppy are coming back. I'm going to keep hoping that they do. I'm going to get sacked if I don't get on with some work so I'm going to go but I'll be back later. I hope someone will be here. Love all of you xxxx
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Old 10-06-2017, 03:50 AM
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I just tried to send a message to Steely but I can't. She's gone. I feel sick and really, really upset about this. Steely was so upset and depressed last week when Tom Petty died and I hate to think of her hurting on her own. If you read this Steely, please come back. You're not on your own. We're all still here. I miss you xxxx
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Old 10-06-2017, 09:43 AM
  # 166 (permalink)  
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I'm still here and sober. Sorry ... I overslept and that plus the time difference makes this hard sometimes

I think the big thing is that we not post anything about specific political persons or parties, etc. Just be wary that we walk a fine line when it's about politics.

If people need to blow off about that type of thing, lets keep it general in the thread and perhaps people can share email addresses with others in Private mail ...

I know my profile page has a contact choice that is via regular email rather than within SR.

Let's please get back to recovery and support each other. I'll post again in a sec .... then off to an appointment.
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Old 10-06-2017, 09:49 AM
  # 167 (permalink)  
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I chose a bad day to oversleep again....

Plenny - I'm sorry you are struggling and felt deserted We are here. Please feel save to come back. There is a lot of love here. Has your anxiety eased at all? Sometimes even just watching a favorite movie or show can get me sidetracked if I catch the anxiety soon enough.

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT DRINKING ONLY APPEARS TO HELP!
As with many things, taking a drink mays seem to ease the problem, but then the problem will come back twice as bad as it was before ... a rebound effect.

I had good news dressed up as bad news yesterday and will write you all about it this afternoon. It was nice to be able to tell the Doctor that I have almost 11 months sober!

Every one just calm down and let things be for a while and we will end up all back on track and sober and supportive! Heck we already are doing ok!!!

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Old 10-06-2017, 10:06 AM
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Thanks Ananda, it's good to hear your calm, comforting voice. Even though I've never heard your voice but in my head it's calm and comforting and when I read your message I thought, 'yes, Ananda's right. We all just need to calm down and let things be'.

I always want to try to sort things out straightaway .... always looking for that instant fix but I need to let go of my addict thinking and accept there's not much I can do right now.

I hope everyone knows how much I love them and how much I want our little family back together. Whenever anyone comes back, I'll be here. In the meantime, let's stay strong and sober because that's what we deserve. Love you xxxxx
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Old 10-06-2017, 08:06 PM
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Speaking of Walking Dead, this is making me feel like Rick when he first wakes up in the hospital. Like what the H-E- double hockey sticks...



Anyway I have been having intrusive thoughts like "I could definitely get one of those little three-serving wine box thingees and drink it and throw the trash away and no one would even know". Which is stupid to begin with because the only person who really cares if I drink or not is my husband and I know damn well I would never be able to lie about something like that to him. But it just poops into my head like a daydream fantasy. I'm not considering acting on it but I feel the need to "out" those thoughts. I see you thoughts. Now Bye, Felicia!

I know I have been very infrequent about posting but we are finally getting settled with moving and everything, thank God. I really do appreciate you all.

So if this thread gets the axe I hope you all message me so that we can stay in contact.
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Old 10-06-2017, 08:08 PM
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lol I just glanced over my post and see that I said "poops into my head". Made me laugh so I've decided not to edit
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Old 10-07-2017, 12:26 AM
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Hi LSW! I get stuff like that pooping into my head all the time! Just yesterday I looked at my friend's large glass of red wine sitting on the table when she went to the bathroom and I thought, 'I could just grab that and swig some down my neck and no one would ever know.'

The weird thing is I didn't even want the wine. I was more than happy with my diet coke. I think it's just the little devil on my shoulder saying, 'go on... do it. Chuck away 11 months of sobriety just for the hell of it'. Self-sabotage is still very much alive and well. Anyway, I didn't grab the glass and my sobriety is still very much intact but it's scary how strong those compulsions can still be.

Talking of Walking Dead..... season 8 is back on 23 October in the UK so I reckon it will be the day before in America. I'm excited but also really hoping that they pick up the pace and finally deal with Negan. I'm not sure my nerves will take another season of his antics.

I'm glad you're feeling settled LSW and it will be good to hear from you. Good plan ... if this thread does get the axe, lets all exchange contact details so we can stay in touch.

Hope everyone is ok. How are you feeling today Plenny? Nands, hope the appointment went well. Counting the days til you come back Poppy and Steely. Love to everyone xxxx
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Old 10-07-2017, 10:43 AM
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It's good to see you all when I wake up at noon!!!!

But hopefully that is going to change (waking time that is). I saw the lung doctor, and it is all good though it sounds bad ... it means they can help me!

I DO have sleep apnea ... for some reason the sleep study people just didn't finish their job ... so I go in Tuesday for them to actually hook up the machine and get things sorted. Then they check if I need oxegen as well as the machine at night. Also my snoring is really really bad and I chatter in my sleep. The doctor thinks this alone is going to make a huge change in how much time I spend "asleep" and how sleepy I am.

As for the tired ... he said all I am feeling is because of my COPD, and I now have 2 medications for it. I'm not bad enough for oxegen, but the part of my lungs that isn't doing well would make me unable to function well...the med should help.

And (this is gross) he said I need to use a neti pot twice a day!!!!! yuck. I will do it in a few minutes .... it just grosses me out.

I too have a voice that recognizes any potential time I might be able to get away with a drink ... of course I wouldn't "get away with it" for two reasons .... 1. I would know and that would be hell .... 2. I would not stop ... I'd be at the liquer store buying a couple of big bottles as soon as the little one was empty....

It sounds like things are settling LSW, hope so. they say no major changes in the first year, but it seems like for many we are forced into major changes a lot in the first year....

All things considered, I think we are all doing pretty good!

I think I will be able to get some stuff done at home today ... ended up grocery shopping, picking up meds, and depositing a check and getting a new debit card (mine got "compromised"), I didn't get much else done. I'm late on my bills so I gotta really get that done now.

I miss a lot of faces here, but sometimes life is like this and I still have people on this thread that I can talk with while I hope others will return.

Thank you to LSW and Kenton for caring and being here and I know others are caring even if not here.

I think I'll look for a funny to post tonight

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Old 10-07-2017, 06:30 PM
  # 173 (permalink)  
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well I didn't get that much done, but didn't have to take any naps!

I wanted to check in because I will be out of town tomorrow so I thought you would want to know I'm not running away.

I used the netti pot as per doctor's orders and it was just as yucky as I thought it would be, but doable.

Hope you all have a good day/night

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Old 10-08-2017, 12:05 AM
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Hi guys!

Ananda, it's really great that the doctors can do something to help you. Hopefully once they can get your sleep sorted, you will start to feel much better. The netti pot must be difficult .... I can't really imagine what that's like. Hopefully once you get used to it, it will become second nature and you'll use it without thinking. Fingers crossed.

All ok here. It's Sunday morning so we could all be lazing around in bed but the kids are up and writing their letters to Father Christmas. I hope they've been good.... I hope he's feeling generous.... I hope he's got an enormous sleigh! I do love this time of year...

Hello to everyone reading this. I hope Steely and Poppy read this so they know they are missed and that we're all waiting for them to come back. Happy Sunday everyone xxxxxx
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Old 10-09-2017, 01:52 AM
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Morning nobenders! Hope everyone is doing ok. I'm fine.... had a bit of a drama this morning when a squirrel ran into the house!! Why??? I have no idea. It was so fast and the dog was useless. Just barked and barked whilst the kids and I screamed. Luckily my husband took control and managed to use a tea towel to usher the squirrel out. I have no idea why the squirrel came in... that's never happened before. I know my neighbour feeds squirrels so maybe that's made them tame? Who knows. Apart from the squirrel incident, everything is going ok.

Hope all is going well in your worlds. Be great to hear from everyone. I hope you are ok Plenny. Hope everyone is. Speak soon xxxx
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Old 10-09-2017, 02:28 AM
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Oh, and I just remembered something funny from yesterday .... I was talking to my sister about how I haven't drunk alcohol for almost a year when my 12 year old daughter said, 'big deal mum. I haven't drunk for 12 years!!' Made me laugh
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:56 AM
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An ok morning here! It's pretty chilly in the house in the morning, but is getting up to mid 70s during the day and we aren't running our airconditioner right now, so It stays pretty nice in the house throughout the day.

I bet the squirrel just got frightened by something and dashed without paying attention.... That would be quite an event. The closest we come to that is an occasional bird getting in the house.

I slept too long last night - ten and a half hours - but I woke up with energy! Have tried to make my to-do list reasonable.

I got excited about almost being at a year and ended up sharing that with my pharmacy people! They have seen all the drugs related to alchohol issues that have been prescribed, but this is the first time I just came right out direct about being an alchoholic. I think I am finally starting to feel comfortable that I may actually stay sober!

Try to post later today. Missing the missing
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Old 10-09-2017, 09:26 AM
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Glad you had a good sleep Nands. Do you have your sleep study tomorrow? Good luck with it.

I'm missing the missing too. Hey, that would be quite a good name for a book. Maybe it already is a book. Hope everyone's ok. I'm feeling a bit churned up.....this thread was such a different place not so long ago. Now Dee's given up on us, Poppy's gone, Steely's gone, Plenny hasn't checked in since her anxiety attack on Friday and we haven't heard from Kev for weeks. I guess we need to stay positive Nands.... maybe one day we'll laugh about all this. I hope so.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Love you all xxxx
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Old 10-09-2017, 09:36 AM
  # 179 (permalink)  
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I think all we can do is create a nice space for people to return to when they are ready (HUG)

I know I have worried many people at SR over the years when I would go away for long periods of times. But I always came back. I'm sure Steely will return and I would bet that Poppy, Plenny, Kev and others will at some point start looking at the thread and decide to come back. If not, we will continue. I'm glad LSW is still checking in and hope I can get to know her better.

In past sober runs I have let others leaving become a long drunk. This sobriety I seem to be able to not go that direction. I think the fear of abandonment and the taking a leaving as personal run deep in many of us. Alchohol was just a way to seal myself off from people so that wwouldn't happen. Today I can't see that as a solution. And in time people come in and out of threads, meetings, and lives.

That said , like I said, I feel fairly certain that some of our good friends will return.

Hang in their !
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Old 10-09-2017, 10:33 AM
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Thanks Ananda, I am taking this very personally and I am really worried about all of our friends. I'm actually a rather level-headed person in real life but this has knocked me for 6. I got so upset about it earlier that I went to a park during my lunch hour and phoned my husband. I never bother him with emotional stuff like this because a) he isn't an addict and b) he's a total blokey bloke brimming with down to earth common sense and I think he'll think me ridiculous to be this upset about our little thread imploding.

Anyway, he listened and he said that he could hear in my voice how important everyone here is to me. He also said that I should never feel guilty or ridiculous for caring about people. He then expressed concern that if I'm crying during my lunch hour because of a web site that's supposed to be providing me with support, maybe it's time to start looking for another web site.

The thing is, the relationships I have built with the nobenders are real and I feel utterly devastated thinking that I might never speak to those people again. I know you're right. I know we have to keep going and make it a nice place for them to return to. Is this part of recovery? This feeling of abandonment? Do we have to feel this and stay sober to get to the next stage of recovery? I have to say, this is the thing that has pushed me the closest back to drink. But there's no way that's happening. I want to be sober when they all come back. Thanks for being there Nands xxxx
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