The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) #3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Originally Posted by courage2 
Please speak it here if that will help 
Thank you courage! Maybe once I get my thoughts together I'll bounce them off of all of you 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Hi everyone,
It's nice and warm in CT today. Hot, breezy, dry, perfect.
Cour - I've found my voice to speak up about what I need to stay recovered. My husband doesn't try to understand it, but he doesn't get in the way of it, which works for me.
Carlos - Soinds like your ex helped you make a nice step towards self forgiveness, peace and serenity.
Today I chose to hang with friends rather than cook and clean. Definitely outside my comfort zone as a hard working high achiever type A person!! I worked out, ate lunch with a friend and visited another friend who is My friend is recovering from a mastectomy. She's doing well!
Now I'm waiting for one of the kids' hockey games to start. Have a nice day everyone!
It's nice and warm in CT today. Hot, breezy, dry, perfect.
Cour - I've found my voice to speak up about what I need to stay recovered. My husband doesn't try to understand it, but he doesn't get in the way of it, which works for me.
Carlos - Soinds like your ex helped you make a nice step towards self forgiveness, peace and serenity.
Today I chose to hang with friends rather than cook and clean. Definitely outside my comfort zone as a hard working high achiever type A person!! I worked out, ate lunch with a friend and visited another friend who is My friend is recovering from a mastectomy. She's doing well!
Now I'm waiting for one of the kids' hockey games to start. Have a nice day everyone!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Glee, I'm glad you were about to see your friends today. That's better than cooking and cleaning.
This week I antagonized people and I'm not sure how much I care. I revealed personal things -- thank god not more -- and people barraged me with opinions and advice. It was only the natural buzzing that people do, when they want to think they want to help another person and care, but can't do anything -- so they make a lot of noises. But I took all the suggestions & speculations as ignorant and inappropriate, and rejected their words in a way I expect made them feel personally rejected. And I don't think I care much.
I've never pretended to be a healthy personality. I'm sober, and my medications help me stay able to work and get along with others as I need and want to, but in my person there is still a lot of strange. Could I spend years in therapy and change it? Maybe. I don't think I want to.
But I'm occasionally reminded that if I open my mouth and reveal my self, sometimes, it disturbs people. So
This week I antagonized people and I'm not sure how much I care. I revealed personal things -- thank god not more -- and people barraged me with opinions and advice. It was only the natural buzzing that people do, when they want to think they want to help another person and care, but can't do anything -- so they make a lot of noises. But I took all the suggestions & speculations as ignorant and inappropriate, and rejected their words in a way I expect made them feel personally rejected. And I don't think I care much.
I've never pretended to be a healthy personality. I'm sober, and my medications help me stay able to work and get along with others as I need and want to, but in my person there is still a lot of strange. Could I spend years in therapy and change it? Maybe. I don't think I want to.
But I'm occasionally reminded that if I open my mouth and reveal my self, sometimes, it disturbs people. So
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Okay, enough with the warm weather brags!
I had a little break from work recently and made some new friends - people I've known but have never spent much time with - and it was really lovely! I'm realizing I didn't do much socializing outside of my drinking. I'm finding that people are kind of sorting into those I'm comfortable with sober, and those I'm not. It's not necessarily a bad thing! It makes it harder when I leave to travel, but it's nice knowing I have some people I look forward to seeing when I get back.
That being said, even while I was drinking I realized how important it was for me to be happy by myself. Like you said, courage - sometimes I open my mouth and it disturbs people, and I'm happy knowing that what they think of me doesn't effect what I'm going to say. As I need to, or for work, sure, but in my personal life I don't NEED people to like me. Or at least people I don't care about - close friends and family, sure, but I'm pretty happy with who I am these days and that's made a big difference in my drinking habits.
Hi stargazer! Sounds like you're having quite the week! I hope it's for fun and not for work.
I had a little break from work recently and made some new friends - people I've known but have never spent much time with - and it was really lovely! I'm realizing I didn't do much socializing outside of my drinking. I'm finding that people are kind of sorting into those I'm comfortable with sober, and those I'm not. It's not necessarily a bad thing! It makes it harder when I leave to travel, but it's nice knowing I have some people I look forward to seeing when I get back.
That being said, even while I was drinking I realized how important it was for me to be happy by myself. Like you said, courage - sometimes I open my mouth and it disturbs people, and I'm happy knowing that what they think of me doesn't effect what I'm going to say. As I need to, or for work, sure, but in my personal life I don't NEED people to like me. Or at least people I don't care about - close friends and family, sure, but I'm pretty happy with who I am these days and that's made a big difference in my drinking habits.
Hi stargazer! Sounds like you're having quite the week! I hope it's for fun and not for work.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
If all goes according to plan, Fran will be coming home sometime next week. The boss has opted to care for her at home instead of sending her to a rehab facility. We'll see how that goes.
Have a great Monday, all!
Have a great Monday, all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
All day, every time someone comes to speak with me in my office, my boss comes over and stands in the doorway, cutting them off, and talks to them until they go away.
Maybe he's just bored, but it's driving me nuts! Not only would I like to say hello to some of these people, but I have work to get done and listening to him chit chat for 20 minutes is not helping my productivity today.
EDIT: I'm quitting smoking, so take everything I say about people annoying me with a grain of salt. Although, in general, I'm annoyed fairly easily by people. All back to that introvert thing
Maybe he's just bored, but it's driving me nuts! Not only would I like to say hello to some of these people, but I have work to get done and listening to him chit chat for 20 minutes is not helping my productivity today.
EDIT: I'm quitting smoking, so take everything I say about people annoying me with a grain of salt. Although, in general, I'm annoyed fairly easily by people. All back to that introvert thing
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I wish I cared less about other people’s opinions of me!
It used to be I cared what the whole world thought, but fortunately the circle has grown a lot smaller as I’ve grown.
My slavish desire to please stands in contradiction to my integrity: I am always determined to be “real” and present an honest picture of myself, for good or for ill.
It used to be I cared what the whole world thought, but fortunately the circle has grown a lot smaller as I’ve grown.
My slavish desire to please stands in contradiction to my integrity: I am always determined to be “real” and present an honest picture of myself, for good or for ill.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Geebus, Gilmer, that's deep. At least I think it is, I don't understand what you said so I'm guessing it is over my head.
I just don't talk to many people, saves me a lot of problems.
"A prudent man foresees trouble and hides himself, but the simple proceed and are punished." Prov 22:3
I have far less drama if I manage to say nothing. Of course, pretty easy to do since I'm not working and I live alone. When I was working, other people constantly annoyed me. I see no way around that.
I just don't talk to many people, saves me a lot of problems.
"A prudent man foresees trouble and hides himself, but the simple proceed and are punished." Prov 22:3
I have far less drama if I manage to say nothing. Of course, pretty easy to do since I'm not working and I live alone. When I was working, other people constantly annoyed me. I see no way around that.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Bottom line, Bim—I’ve got the “only child” syndrome. I still am paranoid that everyone around me is thinking about every word I say. In reality, I know that unless it’s something earth-shattering (which it rarely is), it’s just a blip on people’s radar screens for a moment or two. Just the same as most other people’s statements are to me!
I often have to remind myself that I’m not terminally unique!
News update: I saw the neurologist today. Nicest, kindest doctor I’ve ever met!
He gave me lots of cognition, memory, eye focus, and reflex tests. Overall, I passed easily (just forgot one word).
He assured me that I didn’t have the beginnings of dementia or Alzheimer’s; my little lapses are totally normal for my age.
He said that if I needed more peace of mind, he could order me some further, more concrete testing; but I said, no thanks. After the short but thorough series of tests he performed, he convinced me that I’m totally fine.
He told me I was free to come back to him anytime, but for now I’m good to go!
I often have to remind myself that I’m not terminally unique!
News update: I saw the neurologist today. Nicest, kindest doctor I’ve ever met!
He gave me lots of cognition, memory, eye focus, and reflex tests. Overall, I passed easily (just forgot one word).
He assured me that I didn’t have the beginnings of dementia or Alzheimer’s; my little lapses are totally normal for my age.
He said that if I needed more peace of mind, he could order me some further, more concrete testing; but I said, no thanks. After the short but thorough series of tests he performed, he convinced me that I’m totally fine.
He told me I was free to come back to him anytime, but for now I’m good to go!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Originally Posted by Gilmer
I often have to remind myself that I’m not terminally unique!
!
!
It can be comforting, especially after I do or say something embarrassing. I once, a long time ago, had someone come up and apologize to me for calling em repeatedly when they were drunk - I honestly didn't even remember it! Gives me hope that maybe all the things I think I've done people surely couldn't forget may, in fact, be forgotten haha
Gilmer, do you ever do those mind challenge books? I got one that I really like, and it's easy enough I can actually do the things in it. They're supposed to help with memory though. I find it a great way to kill time! The one I got was https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/...?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I'm not sure it actually helps, but it might make you feel better!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
Gil , I think you're pretty darn special. Glad you got some confirmation on your memory skills. My mind is a steel trap, which isn't always a good thing.
Have a great Tuesday, gang!
Glad you got some confirmation on your memory skills. My mind is a steel trap, which isn't always a good thing.Have a great Tuesday, gang!
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