Class of July 2017 Part 4
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Thanks for all of your kind messages everyone. I really appreciate the support.
The solar eclipse was very cool, even though there were quite a few clouds in the area. 99% eclipse from my location. It got dark enough that the cicadas thought it was evening and being making noise.
Huge rainfall totals last night in the Kansas City area. Woke up to a wet basement, so will be staying home from work to clean up. Needed to clean up the basement anyway, right?
Life is offering up a few challenges, but it's just part of living. I feel good, and I can handle all of this. I'm so much better equipped now. Thanks Dee for taking care of us. We have many more chapters of this story to share. Stay strong everyone. Thinking of you LearningMama. Hope you are feeling better today.
The solar eclipse was very cool, even though there were quite a few clouds in the area. 99% eclipse from my location. It got dark enough that the cicadas thought it was evening and being making noise.
Huge rainfall totals last night in the Kansas City area. Woke up to a wet basement, so will be staying home from work to clean up. Needed to clean up the basement anyway, right?
Life is offering up a few challenges, but it's just part of living. I feel good, and I can handle all of this. I'm so much better equipped now. Thanks Dee for taking care of us. We have many more chapters of this story to share. Stay strong everyone. Thinking of you LearningMama. Hope you are feeling better today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 426
4th week
Not drinking is starting to feel normal and comfortable again.
After decades of drinking (which brought a lot of life troubles I quit for a year). For some unknown reason I convinced myself that after a year I could drink socially and only from time-to-time. Within a week I was drinking everyday.
I decided I must quit but it took me seven years of increasing grimness to manage to stop.
I lasted 15 months and then started drinking again (I caved in when I began setting drinking permissions - I'll drink if I get terminal cancer, I'll drink if nuclear war is imminent, I'll drink if I go blind, then lesser things like, I'll drink if I win the lottery, I'll drink when I'm 70 .... and pretty soon it was, I'll drink if the shop is open.)
I drank for a week - really heavily and got many injuries and caused a lot of troubles for myself (most of which I cannot undo). So I quit again and came to this site for support (July 25 2017 I think).
Unfortunately I had a relapse on Saturday 29 July 2017, and nearly drank myself to death during an 8 hour period (drinking to unconsciousness then doing it again when I came round).
I quit again on 30 July 2017 and joined this class.
I'll complete my 4th week this coming Saturday, and think I will be OK, as I now regard alcohol as a dangerous poison from me (rather than a social lubricant that I unfortunately abuse).
I just felt the need to explain a bit in case it looks like I was being a phoney (from the desperation of my earlier posts), and because I have recovered so quickly.
It was seven and half days of madness that nearly killed me. I did not even enjoy the drinking at all.
Anyway - well done on another day comrades :-)
Not drinking is starting to feel normal and comfortable again.
After decades of drinking (which brought a lot of life troubles I quit for a year). For some unknown reason I convinced myself that after a year I could drink socially and only from time-to-time. Within a week I was drinking everyday.
I decided I must quit but it took me seven years of increasing grimness to manage to stop.
I lasted 15 months and then started drinking again (I caved in when I began setting drinking permissions - I'll drink if I get terminal cancer, I'll drink if nuclear war is imminent, I'll drink if I go blind, then lesser things like, I'll drink if I win the lottery, I'll drink when I'm 70 .... and pretty soon it was, I'll drink if the shop is open.)
I drank for a week - really heavily and got many injuries and caused a lot of troubles for myself (most of which I cannot undo). So I quit again and came to this site for support (July 25 2017 I think).
Unfortunately I had a relapse on Saturday 29 July 2017, and nearly drank myself to death during an 8 hour period (drinking to unconsciousness then doing it again when I came round).
I quit again on 30 July 2017 and joined this class.
I'll complete my 4th week this coming Saturday, and think I will be OK, as I now regard alcohol as a dangerous poison from me (rather than a social lubricant that I unfortunately abuse).
I just felt the need to explain a bit in case it looks like I was being a phoney (from the desperation of my earlier posts), and because I have recovered so quickly.
It was seven and half days of madness that nearly killed me. I did not even enjoy the drinking at all.
Anyway - well done on another day comrades :-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Cornwall, England
Posts: 250
I just woke up from a very vivid dream where I drank and did drugs again. The feelings of shame were so strong and I was heartbroken at myself. I had to write the day 1 post on here again and I've never been so relieved at waking up, it was like Christmas morning as a child. I never ever want to have to write that day 1 post again and I know I never will! It feels so awesome to be sober today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Congrats RedCard on getting back on track and keeping up the fight. No judgement here, as we all have different paths that lead us to the same realization.
SeanFox, if you could dial up that dream once a month, I imagine that you'd never have to worry about relapsing in the future. It really is a blessing that your subconscious reminds you so vividly of the feelings you would have if you decided to start the cycle again. I've heard the term 'playing the tape' on SR numerous times, as a way to fight back the AV. You had the luxury of getting the tape played for you while you slept. Welcome to another day of blessed sobriety.
RuneStone, jenuk, WME, Fish, glad to hear from all of you. Those days are adding up. We really can do this. Our brains are clearing up, our livers are repairing, we aren't throwing money away. The list of positives goes on and on. Never going back to the old life. Never.
Not much to share today. Still working on drying out the basement. Four fans are buzzing behind me, as the carpeted side is taking forever to dry out. It's a process, but the basement will eventually be much cleaner and more organized.
Have a good Wednesday everyone.
SeanFox, if you could dial up that dream once a month, I imagine that you'd never have to worry about relapsing in the future. It really is a blessing that your subconscious reminds you so vividly of the feelings you would have if you decided to start the cycle again. I've heard the term 'playing the tape' on SR numerous times, as a way to fight back the AV. You had the luxury of getting the tape played for you while you slept. Welcome to another day of blessed sobriety.
RuneStone, jenuk, WME, Fish, glad to hear from all of you. Those days are adding up. We really can do this. Our brains are clearing up, our livers are repairing, we aren't throwing money away. The list of positives goes on and on. Never going back to the old life. Never.
Not much to share today. Still working on drying out the basement. Four fans are buzzing behind me, as the carpeted side is taking forever to dry out. It's a process, but the basement will eventually be much cleaner and more organized.
Have a good Wednesday everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 219
D53.
Hi all.
Just reading your post redcardid. Interesting what you said about drinking permissions. Christmas day would always make me fall into that trap believe it or not. I would get sober around September or October (having spent most of the summer drinking most weekends) then Christmas would start appearing around the corner. I would start telling myself that maybe Christmas day should be an exception. Just one day out of the whole year then I could go straight back to being sober after.
As soon as I gave myself permission to do this my AV just loved it. Next thing I was deciding that I might as well drink this weekend then. The logic behind this was that I was going to be breaking sobriety anyway on xmas day. Also I would have more sober time to throw away by then which would be hard. So I would be better off just drinking now so it was easier and I wouldn't feel as much of a failure. It made perfect sense at the time.
Next thing I knew another year was down the drain. Now I try not to even entertain the idea, which isn't easy.
Seems as though we are all progressing. Lets keep going!
Hi all.
Just reading your post redcardid. Interesting what you said about drinking permissions. Christmas day would always make me fall into that trap believe it or not. I would get sober around September or October (having spent most of the summer drinking most weekends) then Christmas would start appearing around the corner. I would start telling myself that maybe Christmas day should be an exception. Just one day out of the whole year then I could go straight back to being sober after.
As soon as I gave myself permission to do this my AV just loved it. Next thing I was deciding that I might as well drink this weekend then. The logic behind this was that I was going to be breaking sobriety anyway on xmas day. Also I would have more sober time to throw away by then which would be hard. So I would be better off just drinking now so it was easier and I wouldn't feel as much of a failure. It made perfect sense at the time.
Next thing I knew another year was down the drain. Now I try not to even entertain the idea, which isn't easy.
Seems as though we are all progressing. Lets keep going!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 426
4th week
Thank guys for the kind words
My breathing problems seem to have gone (I forget when I last had to take a pill for anxiety) and my sprained wrist is much better.
I'm feeling OK and optimistic.
Well done on another day comrades :-)
Thank guys for the kind words
My breathing problems seem to have gone (I forget when I last had to take a pill for anxiety) and my sprained wrist is much better.
I'm feeling OK and optimistic.
Well done on another day comrades :-)
30 days is a marvellous milestone.
* hug
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