jenuk

D86.

Hi all.

Great vid there redcardid. Though I've go to say, a lot of those monkeys still look a lot better behaved than some of our lot when they are over in Ibiza.

Well done on the 9th week by the way.

Keep going all.

SeanFox87

Haven’t really done anything or had any cravings, just checking in. I have my last day of work here tomorrow and then gave the trek back to England. Looking forward to going home and then moving to the new flat

jenuk

D87.

Have a safe journey home Sean. Must be an exciting time moving to a new place.

I have thought about it myself a few times. Though I feel I would need a fair bit more sober time first. The idea of all that freedom is a little scary at this point. Maybe someday.

SeanFox87

Thanks Jen, hopefully it all works out ok. I feel like I'm the opposite, there's so much drinking going on at my current house, it'll be nice and peaceful at the new place.

jenuk

D88.

Found myself unexpectedly obsessing over booze this afternoon. Not even sure where it came from. Just like a bolt out of the blue. Cant even think of a reason for it. I recognised the train of thought as soon as it began, but instead of shutting it down straight away I decided to go with it. Next thing I knew I was having a full on nostalgia trip down boozy lane.

This is a habit I really must try and break. Daydreaming is one of my AV's best tools.

Halfway through week 13.

jenuk

D89.

Had to go to the dentist for treatment today.

On a positive note, he said my gums looked healthier than they ever had. Not sure what that's about. Can alcohol affect gums? Don't see why not, it seems to affect everything else.

Hope to see everyone back soon.

Dee74

Drinking can definitely affect the state of our mouth.

mine was in a terrible state, largely through neglect, sure, but also from the cheap wine and booze I used to drink - some of that stuff is very astringent.

D.

SeanFox87

I've been having mild fantasies about drinking too, Jen. I feel like this is a transitional period because it's the time when my brain will tell me that I've gone a significant time without it so that means I'm fine to drink. I'm just going to keep reading over my recovery plan every day till the AV gives up which it eventually will.

jenuk

D90!

At the end of week 13. Almost to the end of the third month!

Another 2 months and I will be into the longest time I have ever done sober. Never made it past 5 months.

Have a good weekend all.

SeanFox87

Amazing stuff Jen. 90 days is great milestone

SeanFox87

I failed last night, I'm bitterly disappointed in myself. I let the AV sweet talk me and I didn't put up enough of a fight. Completely pointless and now I find myself back at day one.

jenuk

D91

Hi Sean, sorry to read about last night. I know how gutted you must feel right now. But you know what, you still have those 3 months you have just done. One night out of 3 months isn't even a drop in the ocean is it?

Was there anything in particular that caused you to give in last night?

Well done for coming in here this morning that must have been pretty tough. Take care of yourself today.

Jen.

SeanFox87

Thanks Jen, it was a pretty pathetic reason, I had a ready meal and I didn’t know it had white wine in and when it was cooked it was all I could smell and my AV just consumed me. Then I went to the shop even though the whole way I was telling myself to turn around.

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank Sean - got any ideas on what you might add this time to stop that happening again?

D

SeanFox87

Thanks Dee, I just need to learn to stop and evaluate when I hear the av talking. I had a long day yesterday so I should’ve applied the HALT method because I was really tired and I should have just gone to bed. I should have posted on here also because I know I would’ve been given good advice and it would’ve made me see straight.

SeanFox87

Day 1

Still feeling the effects of Friday night but it shouldn't be as bad as when I stopped last time so I'm looking forward to getting back on track. I'm going to be watching football at home today and then get some things ready for when I move into my flat tomorrow evening.

jenuk

D92.

Into sober October!

Great going Sean. Straight back into it and moving forward again. Its a hard bumpy journey sometimes. But better than the alternative. Good luck with the new place.

Onto week 14.

WME3

Hey all! Sitting here at Day 72. Sean, my heart goes out to you but great job getting back on the horse! Glad to see you here. I have been having some issues with anxiety and depression. Has been keeping me out of the rooms and the forums. I know I have to really put my sobriety first and can't let my emotions or disease isolate me or I will drink / use. I have also been scared about my BP / Heart. I am having some feelings in my chest that aren't normal and I get winded very quickly. I am overweight so know this is a big part of the problem. See the heart doctor for a stress test Thursday so taking easy until get the verdict. Was trying to walk 5 miles a day and was doing it but not taking chances. I feel so alone sometimes and have such great remorse over the relationships I have lost... I am so tired of feeling this way. Part of me wants to believe it is PAWS and that it will get better. I try to believe that and pray it will pass. I do believe in my higher power but feel like I have fallen so far short of His will for me or what He had planned for me if I would have only listened.... Anyway - just needed a good dump... I do wish the best for all and do read a lot without posting. Definitely getting to a meeting today. Thanks for a place to share this - don't think I will at the meeting. Love you guys.

jenuk

D93.

Just a quick one.

Welcome back WME3. Well done on hitting the 70 day mark! Hope everything turns out okay at the doctors.

Night all.

SeanFox87

Just finished day 2

All moved into my flat and determined make this a new start. Thanks for your kind words WME I hope your anxiety and depression becomes more manageable for you in the future. You're doing brilliantly, getting past the 70 day mark, well done