24 Hour Recovery Connection Part 282
So glad it's Monday. Something about a new week always gives me the motivation to do better, be better, start anew. I am in a bad place with my eating disorder and it's only gotten worse over the last month. I can't live like this anymore and feel like a fraud since my AV is winning in the food department even though I am winning in the sobriety one.
I found a therapist- just emailed him this morning. His website is amazing and his quotes are all about how "thought become things" which I have been saying ever sine I first read Mike Dooley coin the phrase decades ago. I can't wait to get my first appointment and beat this crap once and for all. It is taking over my life and it is no different than the drinking. Once I start eating what I consider a "bad food" I want more, more more. Food (refined carbs and sugar) makes me isolate, makes me hate myself, creates a lot of inner turmoil and pain not to mention the physical side effects which are beyond embarrassing. I have got to get through these next 3 days of sugar cravings and get "back on track" with low carb eating. It's the only thing that keeps me positive in both body and mind and it works for my body.
Sorry for the rant- I should post this in the ED group I suppose. I am just so sick and tired of being sick and tired about food. Why does it have such a hold on me? Why can't I go out and eat pizza and ice cream with the rest of the world and not be so affected by it? It makes my body sick- literally sick and then I am filled with shame, guilt and disgust. I want to love myself. I want to let go of this. I want to heal.
Wishing you all a great week ahead- I can't believe it's the middle of August already. Where did the summer go?
I found a therapist- just emailed him this morning. His website is amazing and his quotes are all about how "thought become things" which I have been saying ever sine I first read Mike Dooley coin the phrase decades ago. I can't wait to get my first appointment and beat this crap once and for all. It is taking over my life and it is no different than the drinking. Once I start eating what I consider a "bad food" I want more, more more. Food (refined carbs and sugar) makes me isolate, makes me hate myself, creates a lot of inner turmoil and pain not to mention the physical side effects which are beyond embarrassing. I have got to get through these next 3 days of sugar cravings and get "back on track" with low carb eating. It's the only thing that keeps me positive in both body and mind and it works for my body.
Sorry for the rant- I should post this in the ED group I suppose. I am just so sick and tired of being sick and tired about food. Why does it have such a hold on me? Why can't I go out and eat pizza and ice cream with the rest of the world and not be so affected by it? It makes my body sick- literally sick and then I am filled with shame, guilt and disgust. I want to love myself. I want to let go of this. I want to heal.
Wishing you all a great week ahead- I can't believe it's the middle of August already. Where did the summer go?
Since I moved here I have spent a massive amount of time working out how to get and eat the exact diet my body needs, without the suffering that you are talking about ~ it's awful.
Let me help you love.....I really think I can. PM if you want....we will make you and your body happy! ♥
10:08 in California and a late check in for me. Today was our biggest staff development for the year, and I was in charge of the entire thing, about 25 different presenters, several hundred people, and lots of help to ensure things went well. The tone was positive, and the majority of the trainings went well. There were a few that didn't follow what was planned, and we will be doing some follow up with those participants.
I got home in time to tell y son to get on his socks and cleats, pick my daughter off at 5:15 from cross country, and have her change into her gymnastics stiff in the car while I drove my son to soccer. Then took her to gymnastics, fit in a quick workout. My husband took my other daughter to get a few pairs of jeans, because they will not let them wear leggings or yoga pants to school. Then stopped st Targer to get water and a second lock for my soon to be high schooler and got home, gave kids dinner (compliments of KF.C tonight) and spent about two hours finishing up some things for work. My day was nonstop!!!
I am now in bed and trying to wind down, going to read on here for a bit and then hopefully off to la la land. I am tired just thinking back on my day!!!
Hope everyone's week got off on a positive note!
❤️Delilah
I got home in time to tell y son to get on his socks and cleats, pick my daughter off at 5:15 from cross country, and have her change into her gymnastics stiff in the car while I drove my son to soccer. Then took her to gymnastics, fit in a quick workout. My husband took my other daughter to get a few pairs of jeans, because they will not let them wear leggings or yoga pants to school. Then stopped st Targer to get water and a second lock for my soon to be high schooler and got home, gave kids dinner (compliments of KF.C tonight) and spent about two hours finishing up some things for work. My day was nonstop!!!
I am now in bed and trying to wind down, going to read on here for a bit and then hopefully off to la la land. I am tired just thinking back on my day!!!
Hope everyone's week got off on a positive note!
❤️Delilah
Threw away the alcohol again, for the last time, a week ago today! Throwing the ciggys away today...this is my life, not the beasts! I got a couple of those legless, armless, mouthy beggars doing gregorian chants in my head.... but its my song that will be heard. My song is a symphony of life and hope. California, 0454, another 24!
Just awesome. ♥
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