Class of August 2017 Part Two
Learning to Live
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: CA
Posts: 203
Day 16; checking in. It's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster since day 14. I feel fine, then suddenly a sense of despair, then fine again.I get angry quickly at small things. I know this is all normal, but it sucks! I'm hanging in there, however. Sending well wishes to you all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 43
Good morning from Southern Oregon. I am happy to say that today is day 4. I am sick with a bad cold and never liked to drink when I was sick, so I haven't even thought about taking a drink! Maybe I could stay sick? Of course not! That sounds like 'stinkin' thinkin' to me! Have a great next day, all!
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 55
Great to see everyone posting. Rah, I think I saw the same report. Thing is, if we could drink in moderation, we wouldn't be here 
I know I've tried many, many, MANY times, yet here I am again, on day 2. 
In two weeks, school starts (I teach high school). A little nervous about starting the year in recovery, but it's better starting the year sober than drinking. I'm def a better teacher when I'm not drinking on the weekends. It's amazing how many other teachers drink tho. Happy hour invites will be coming in. I'll pass. I'm committed to this.
Have a great day everyone. I know we all have our own set of struggles, but keep posting here. We're in this together
I know I've tried many, many, MANY times, yet here I am again, on day 2. In two weeks, school starts (I teach high school). A little nervous about starting the year in recovery, but it's better starting the year sober than drinking. I'm def a better teacher when I'm not drinking on the weekends. It's amazing how many other teachers drink tho. Happy hour invites will be coming in. I'll pass. I'm committed to this.
Have a great day everyone. I know we all have our own set of struggles, but keep posting here. We're in this together
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Just caught up on the posts. Hang in there everyone. I slipped up yesterday and drank. I had a really hard therapy session to work on my PTSD and the pain was too great so I did what I always do....DRANK! It really sucks to keep falling in the same hole over and over but I am going to keep climbing out of it until I never fall back in!
I'm going to talk to my therapist Friday and tell him we need to slow down. I am also gonna add some AA meetings back in for more support.
Anyway....don't drink....it sucks and I went from feeling great yesterday morning after 1 week of sobriety to feeling like total crap THIS morning.
Day 1.
I'm going to talk to my therapist Friday and tell him we need to slow down. I am also gonna add some AA meetings back in for more support.
Anyway....don't drink....it sucks and I went from feeling great yesterday morning after 1 week of sobriety to feeling like total crap THIS morning.
Day 1.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by decchemist 
What is your subject, DH? I think you can guess mine.
Kiki, glad you decided to come back instead of continuing drinking. You have the right attitude. I have PTSD as well. I know it's a struggle. Hang in there. This time we'll make sobriety stick!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi all, really sorry to say I caved after 4 days sober- financial pressure and other stuff got too much for me and I pressed the self destruct button yet again. I have to get into my head that if things don't go my way I can't drink to run away from them, it just makes things worse, Was in a bar last night and felt so anxious on the first drink and thought Why the hell am I doing this? Its not fun anymore' planned to leave after one but after that 'one' I felt better and got won over by the atmosphere of the pub- music etc (Think Im addicted to the pub environment as much as the alcohol), what started as a fun evening quickly turned sour and drinking with other drinking alcoholics it shows how changeable and risky the drinking really is- a bar room brawl that although nothing to do with me I could have got dragged into. This is not the life I want and I hate myself when I wake up the next day and realise that I'm putting my health, family life, financial and everything else at risk. If only I could stay at that 'warm glow, happy feeling' that 2-3 drinks brings I'd be able to live normally and talk to people without feeling so self conscious and anxious.
But I cant stop at 2-3 drinks, I stop when I can't stand or am out of money.
I know I sound like a broken record and I feel ashamed to be at day 1 AGAIN but I need to try and get sober and the support here has helped me get 7 months in the past.
I need help.
But I cant stop at 2-3 drinks, I stop when I can't stand or am out of money.
I know I sound like a broken record and I feel ashamed to be at day 1 AGAIN but I need to try and get sober and the support here has helped me get 7 months in the past.
I need help.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 55
1stepup, I feel you. I love the pub atmosphere as well, and I wish I could stay at the 2-3 drink range and feeling. Don't feel ashamed. You're here. If this was easy, then so many of us wouldn't be struggling. I relapsed on Sunday and am back to day 2. We're here, determined and trying. I think there's something to say about that
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
You are back Kiki, that is important, that you are still going.
I'm back this week at work (school) - many teachers here, it would appear. I am finding that I am frustrated with the things that have always frustrated me, i.e. problems caused by management that have nothing to do with students.
However, I am fine - tired after the day, but no major urges - well one passing phase, but I was hungry, that's why.
I am also more together in general which helps.
I am glad I had a couple of weeks to sort myself out though.
I'm back this week at work (school) - many teachers here, it would appear. I am finding that I am frustrated with the things that have always frustrated me, i.e. problems caused by management that have nothing to do with students.
However, I am fine - tired after the day, but no major urges - well one passing phase, but I was hungry, that's why.
I am also more together in general which helps.
I am glad I had a couple of weeks to sort myself out though.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 43
"If only I could stay at that 'warm glow, happy feeling' that 2-3 drinks brings I'd be able to live normally and talk to people without feeling so self conscious and anxious.
But I cant stop at 2-3 drinks, I stop when I can't stand or am out of money.
I know I sound like a broken record and I feel ashamed to be at day 1 AGAIN but I need to try and get sober and the support here has helped me get 7 months in the past.
I need help."
Step up-that is my exact 'grief'. If only I could be normal and drink normally. But I can't. Intellectually I know that perspective itself has to be alcoholic thinking. I doubt that non-alcoholics think, "I'm so glad I can have 2-3 drinks and be okay". The hardest part for me is to absolutely completely recognize, admit, that I CAN'T drink. It is poison for me. But also to pray that I can put this into perspective. If my Doctor told me I should never have dairy again, I sure wouldn't be hiding milk jugs in the back of the toilet. I need to make quitting alcohol as insignificant as quitting dairy. It's not of course, but do you get my drift?
But I cant stop at 2-3 drinks, I stop when I can't stand or am out of money.
I know I sound like a broken record and I feel ashamed to be at day 1 AGAIN but I need to try and get sober and the support here has helped me get 7 months in the past.
I need help."
Step up-that is my exact 'grief'. If only I could be normal and drink normally. But I can't. Intellectually I know that perspective itself has to be alcoholic thinking. I doubt that non-alcoholics think, "I'm so glad I can have 2-3 drinks and be okay". The hardest part for me is to absolutely completely recognize, admit, that I CAN'T drink. It is poison for me. But also to pray that I can put this into perspective. If my Doctor told me I should never have dairy again, I sure wouldn't be hiding milk jugs in the back of the toilet. I need to make quitting alcohol as insignificant as quitting dairy. It's not of course, but do you get my drift?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,535
Evening August class (where I am anyway)!
Congratulions to all of you reaching double digits or any other milestone for that matter. To those back on day one or two, good on you for coming back so soon. A slip (although to be seriously feared and avoided) can be just that. Getting back up straight away may make the difference and avoid it from becoming a full-blown relapse (lasting for who knows how long).
Thanks for all the posts that are really helpful to me. The longer I stay sober the more serious I am about not throwing it away!
Congratulions to all of you reaching double digits or any other milestone for that matter. To those back on day one or two, good on you for coming back so soon. A slip (although to be seriously feared and avoided) can be just that. Getting back up straight away may make the difference and avoid it from becoming a full-blown relapse (lasting for who knows how long).
Thanks for all the posts that are really helpful to me. The longer I stay sober the more serious I am about not throwing it away!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by DarkestHour
I teach English. I love it, except for the grading papers part! My favorite teacher in high school was a chemistry teacher, even though I struggled in the course.
Kiki, glad you decided to come back instead of continuing drinking. You have the right attitude. I have PTSD as well. I know it's a struggle. Hang in there. This time we'll make sobriety stick!
Kiki, glad you decided to come back instead of continuing drinking. You have the right attitude. I have PTSD as well. I know it's a struggle. Hang in there. This time we'll make sobriety stick!
Thanks so much Darkesthour. I'm sorry about your PTSD. It sucks. :-(
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Debbyjay
"If only I could stay at that 'warm glow, happy feeling' that 2-3 drinks brings I'd be able to live normally and talk to people without feeling so self conscious and anxious.
But I cant stop at 2-3 drinks, I stop when I can't stand or am out of money.
I know I sound like a broken record and I feel ashamed to be at day 1 AGAIN but I need to try and get sober and the support here has helped me get 7 months in the past.
I need help."
Step up-that is my exact 'grief'. If only I could be normal and drink normally. But I can't. Intellectually I know that perspective itself has to be alcoholic thinking. I doubt that non-alcoholics think, "I'm so glad I can have 2-3 drinks and be okay". The hardest part for me is to absolutely completely recognize, admit, that I CAN'T drink. It is poison for me. But also to pray that I can put this into perspective. If my Doctor told me I should never have dairy again, I sure wouldn't be hiding milk jugs in the back of the toilet. I need to make quitting alcohol as insignificant as quitting dairy. It's not of course, but do you get my drift?
But I cant stop at 2-3 drinks, I stop when I can't stand or am out of money.
I know I sound like a broken record and I feel ashamed to be at day 1 AGAIN but I need to try and get sober and the support here has helped me get 7 months in the past.
I need help."
Step up-that is my exact 'grief'. If only I could be normal and drink normally. But I can't. Intellectually I know that perspective itself has to be alcoholic thinking. I doubt that non-alcoholics think, "I'm so glad I can have 2-3 drinks and be okay". The hardest part for me is to absolutely completely recognize, admit, that I CAN'T drink. It is poison for me. But also to pray that I can put this into perspective. If my Doctor told me I should never have dairy again, I sure wouldn't be hiding milk jugs in the back of the toilet. I need to make quitting alcohol as insignificant as quitting dairy. It's not of course, but do you get my drift?
Great post Debby! I totally understand what you are saying. I decided to go totally cold turkey VEGAN 5 weeks ago and haven't skipped up once! 5 weeks without meat, dairy, cheese,ice cream etc. Hasn't been that hard. But can I go 5 weeks without DRINKING??? Ugh.
Some day I will go 5, 10, 50 years!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 135
Hi there! I'll be going to outpatient group therapy this time around as another tool for my sobriety. My counselor thought it would be a good idea and I agreed. I go to my first one in less than an hour. I'm excited but a little nervous as I live in a small town and I'm afraid of seeing familiar faces. I have some trust issues and do not tend to reveal too much at meetings etc. I know that this may hinder my sobriety at times, as I do not share all of my struggles, but I truly do believe there is such thing as too much honesty and I have known people at meetings to unfortunately break anonymity 
Regardless, I figure outpatient group therapy cannot hurt and is worth a try! I am at 13 days sober today and am feeling pretty good and optimistic overall. Congrats to everyone on your sober time whether it is one or two days, or one hour. Keep trying! It is so worth it.
Regardless, I figure outpatient group therapy cannot hurt and is worth a try! I am at 13 days sober today and am feeling pretty good and optimistic overall. Congrats to everyone on your sober time whether it is one or two days, or one hour. Keep trying! It is so worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 626
Evening folks, just quickly catching up on the tread before bed. Lots of interesting posts today.
Linners, kiki, 1step, well done on coming straight back. Linners, I always wanted to journal but I never found the time,(found plenty of time for drinking though, funny that!) let us know how it goes. Speaking of time, it is flying in. I've been keeping really busy, makes me wonder where I found that drinking time. Tomorrow we are halfway through August and this thread has really picked up momentum and members. Let's keep at it folks. Looking at this site and the long term sobriety achieved here really inspires me. And a lot of those long termers started right here!
Tuesday night and my bed is calling, stay safe and strong classmates.
Oh and by the way, the bottle is gone from the boot of my car, took it back into work and re raffled it for my team!
Linners, kiki, 1step, well done on coming straight back. Linners, I always wanted to journal but I never found the time,(found plenty of time for drinking though, funny that!) let us know how it goes. Speaking of time, it is flying in. I've been keeping really busy, makes me wonder where I found that drinking time. Tomorrow we are halfway through August and this thread has really picked up momentum and members. Let's keep at it folks. Looking at this site and the long term sobriety achieved here really inspires me. And a lot of those long termers started right here!
Tuesday night and my bed is calling, stay safe and strong classmates.
Oh and by the way, the bottle is gone from the boot of my car, took it back into work and re raffled it for my team!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by Linners820
Sigh. Back at Day 1 again. Feeling very disappointed in myself but I'm trying not to wallow in that. Started a journal this morning and have been doing some more reading and learning.
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