Class of May 2017 Support Thread Part Three
Keep Going
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: England
Posts: 1,530
Originally Posted by Rainman1 
I can't concentrated, my mind is everywhere. So much going on.
All the stuff that the courts said I need to do has been overwhelming, daughter, grandbaby and son-in-law are moving back to Texas this weekend, my daughter who lives at home is moving out (with my other daughter). My stepmom's chemo treatments are kicking her ass, my dad was put in the hospital yesterday with pneumonia in both lungs. I'm in TX, their in MI.
My work in suffering because I can't stay focused..
But hey, I'm dealing with this SOBER.
All the stuff that the courts said I need to do has been overwhelming, daughter, grandbaby and son-in-law are moving back to Texas this weekend, my daughter who lives at home is moving out (with my other daughter). My stepmom's chemo treatments are kicking her ass, my dad was put in the hospital yesterday with pneumonia in both lungs. I'm in TX, their in MI.
My work in suffering because I can't stay focused..
But hey, I'm dealing with this SOBER.
Keep in touch. I need my sober twin to stay strong.
Many hugs and much love from stormy old England XXXXX
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Hey Weeve,
I'm still here and sober, the way I see it Nov 5th will be our 6 month Birthday. woohoo.
Yea, it feels as I have a lot on my shoulders,
My daughter and grand baby moved back to texas which is a great thing but on the down side our daughter who was at home with us moved in with her sister, guess I wasn't ready for her to move yet, My parents in Mich aren't doing so well, Cancer is back with my mom, the chemo is kicking her ass (she's 80) she was in the hospital fo a couple days because her blood cell were low and she was dehydrated, she got out Tues and on Wed. my dad was in the hospital with pneumonia in both lungs (he's 85), I guess he also took a fall while mom was in the hospital. My siblings met on Sunday to try to come up with a plan on what to do to take care of our folks. I want so bad to be up there to help but I live 1300 miles away, they are there and they have to deal with it on a day to day basis, I feel like its not my place to throw in my 2 cents when I'm not there to help. I'm also dealing with my DWI, I cant just get on a plane or jump in a vehicle and take off, got to get permission also I can't drive a car without a interlock in it which means I can't rent a car. I'm suppose to go to Bridgeport CT for business next week but I can't go because I have court ordered classes I have to go to. Just really feeling down because I put myself in the predicament, don't have anyone else to blame but myself. With all that said I am still very grateful, If I wouldn't have gotten the DWI good chance I would still be drinking, With my DWI, I didn't hurt anyone (physically). My punishment could have been so much worse than what I received, and my family had every right to turn their back on me. So yes I have a case of the poor pitiful me's but I've been really blessed and know it. Enough rambling for now, thanks for checking in on me Weeve, thought maybe ya didn't love me anymore ;-)
Rainman
I'm still here and sober, the way I see it Nov 5th will be our 6 month Birthday. woohoo.
Yea, it feels as I have a lot on my shoulders,
My daughter and grand baby moved back to texas which is a great thing but on the down side our daughter who was at home with us moved in with her sister, guess I wasn't ready for her to move yet, My parents in Mich aren't doing so well, Cancer is back with my mom, the chemo is kicking her ass (she's 80) she was in the hospital fo a couple days because her blood cell were low and she was dehydrated, she got out Tues and on Wed. my dad was in the hospital with pneumonia in both lungs (he's 85), I guess he also took a fall while mom was in the hospital. My siblings met on Sunday to try to come up with a plan on what to do to take care of our folks. I want so bad to be up there to help but I live 1300 miles away, they are there and they have to deal with it on a day to day basis, I feel like its not my place to throw in my 2 cents when I'm not there to help. I'm also dealing with my DWI, I cant just get on a plane or jump in a vehicle and take off, got to get permission also I can't drive a car without a interlock in it which means I can't rent a car. I'm suppose to go to Bridgeport CT for business next week but I can't go because I have court ordered classes I have to go to. Just really feeling down because I put myself in the predicament, don't have anyone else to blame but myself. With all that said I am still very grateful, If I wouldn't have gotten the DWI good chance I would still be drinking, With my DWI, I didn't hurt anyone (physically). My punishment could have been so much worse than what I received, and my family had every right to turn their back on me. So yes I have a case of the poor pitiful me's but I've been really blessed and know it. Enough rambling for now, thanks for checking in on me Weeve, thought maybe ya didn't love me anymore ;-)
Rainman
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Hey RM! I totally relate with what you're talking about.
I wrote something yesterday, about "thoughts and feelings prior to relapse" that may apply here. I wrote it because.... well because I *really* don't want to drink again, and I needed to nail down exactly what I was feeling before I broke down and started drinking.
I think you're a bit ahead of me, here. After I wrote this the next step was clear -- I have to share. I need to talk to other people about the stuff that causes me stress. And I *never* do. I bottle everything up. I just can't bottle it up anymore!
Thoughts and feelings before relapse.
There is no release from this stress.
I must stop the stress.
Can’t I find anything that will help the stress?
I feel desperate. Desperation is the overwhelming feeling.
There really are no others.
Breathing doesn’t work.
Exercise doesn’t work.
I can’t focus on my job.
I can’t focus on anything.
The stress is too much.
I can’t bear it any longer.
Alcohol will relieve the stress instantly. One drink is all it takes.
But I cannot stop at one drink. Alcohol is not an option.
What other option is there?
I’ve tried everything I know how to try, and nothing works.
I am strange when I am under this much stress.
My brain does not function properly.
And that makes everything worse.
It adds to the stress.
I need to take a walk. Walking helps….
But only while I am walking. I will soon have to go back to work.
If I could just walk all day I would be ok. But I have a job.
But I can’t focus on my job so what is the point in going back?
As long as I know the stress will end I am ok.
As long as I know the stress will end I will not drink.
But there is the breaking point, where the stress becomes interminable.
When I truly believe there is no end to the stress, THAT is when I am in danger.
That is when I will drink.
I am not a stupid man – it takes a lot to come to this belief because I know stress is not permanent.
But I have been in this situation before.
I have arrived in a state where I truly felt that the stress was interminable.
And when that happens I drink.
It doesn’t happen very often…. Only once every few years…
but that one drink leads to disaster.
I wrote something yesterday, about "thoughts and feelings prior to relapse" that may apply here. I wrote it because.... well because I *really* don't want to drink again, and I needed to nail down exactly what I was feeling before I broke down and started drinking.
I think you're a bit ahead of me, here. After I wrote this the next step was clear -- I have to share. I need to talk to other people about the stuff that causes me stress. And I *never* do. I bottle everything up. I just can't bottle it up anymore!
Thoughts and feelings before relapse.
There is no release from this stress.
I must stop the stress.
Can’t I find anything that will help the stress?
I feel desperate. Desperation is the overwhelming feeling.
There really are no others.
Breathing doesn’t work.
Exercise doesn’t work.
I can’t focus on my job.
I can’t focus on anything.
The stress is too much.
I can’t bear it any longer.
Alcohol will relieve the stress instantly. One drink is all it takes.
But I cannot stop at one drink. Alcohol is not an option.
What other option is there?
I’ve tried everything I know how to try, and nothing works.
I am strange when I am under this much stress.
My brain does not function properly.
And that makes everything worse.
It adds to the stress.
I need to take a walk. Walking helps….
But only while I am walking. I will soon have to go back to work.
If I could just walk all day I would be ok. But I have a job.
But I can’t focus on my job so what is the point in going back?
As long as I know the stress will end I am ok.
As long as I know the stress will end I will not drink.
But there is the breaking point, where the stress becomes interminable.
When I truly believe there is no end to the stress, THAT is when I am in danger.
That is when I will drink.
I am not a stupid man – it takes a lot to come to this belief because I know stress is not permanent.
But I have been in this situation before.
I have arrived in a state where I truly felt that the stress was interminable.
And when that happens I drink.
It doesn’t happen very often…. Only once every few years…
but that one drink leads to disaster.
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
So... today someone I respect very much and consider to be highly intelligent told me:
"You come across as very arrogant and condescending... and I know you don't feel that way. You just don't hear it in what you say, and how could you?"
I hear from people all the time that I am arrogant, but I don't think I've heard "You just don't hear it in what you say, and how could you?" before. That was a bit eye-opening.
So, yeah, people have been dismissing me as arrogant for a long time.
In the beginning I was mystified. I could NOT figure out why anyone would find me arrogant. Quite the contrary -- I generally see others as highly intelligent, though their intelligence may be in a different direction than mine. I view the world through the lens of Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences. I happen to be kind of book smart, but others are more socially intelligent or artistically intelligent or whatever. I *certainly* do not consider myself to be "more than" anyone else. Not at all. So why would people think I thought that of myself?
So I started searching. I came across something I've heard before: Sometimes people come across as arrogant *precisely because* they see others as having equal or greater intelligence than their own. When presenting ideas, they leave out key points because those points seem obvious, and they do not want to insult the intelligence of the person they are talking to by taking them through the logic that leads to such an obvious conclusion. But, unfortunately... the conclusion is not always as obvious as we think, and not presenting the logic makes the other person feel like we do not believe they are capable of understanding it... or that they should just trust us because we know best.
I have been noticing in the past few months that I have a bad habit of not stating things when I think they are obvious. Unfortunately it does not even occur to me to say it. It gets me into trouble a lot. The phrase that ran through my head the other day was "it would not occur to me to tell you this any more than it would occur to me to inform you that your cat has a tail".
And YES I hear how arrogant that last sentence is.
Perhaps that's it... The fact that I can hear the arrogance in that sentence may mean I have some hope, here. I would not have heard it only a few months ago.
Ok... so now I know why I was driven to write this post. By writing this I have learned that the key is to learn to recognize those things I say that are arrogant. I believe that if I recognize it I will stop doing it.
"You come across as very arrogant and condescending... and I know you don't feel that way. You just don't hear it in what you say, and how could you?"
I hear from people all the time that I am arrogant, but I don't think I've heard "You just don't hear it in what you say, and how could you?" before. That was a bit eye-opening.
So, yeah, people have been dismissing me as arrogant for a long time.
In the beginning I was mystified. I could NOT figure out why anyone would find me arrogant. Quite the contrary -- I generally see others as highly intelligent, though their intelligence may be in a different direction than mine. I view the world through the lens of Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences. I happen to be kind of book smart, but others are more socially intelligent or artistically intelligent or whatever. I *certainly* do not consider myself to be "more than" anyone else. Not at all. So why would people think I thought that of myself?
So I started searching. I came across something I've heard before: Sometimes people come across as arrogant *precisely because* they see others as having equal or greater intelligence than their own. When presenting ideas, they leave out key points because those points seem obvious, and they do not want to insult the intelligence of the person they are talking to by taking them through the logic that leads to such an obvious conclusion. But, unfortunately... the conclusion is not always as obvious as we think, and not presenting the logic makes the other person feel like we do not believe they are capable of understanding it... or that they should just trust us because we know best.
I have been noticing in the past few months that I have a bad habit of not stating things when I think they are obvious. Unfortunately it does not even occur to me to say it. It gets me into trouble a lot. The phrase that ran through my head the other day was "it would not occur to me to tell you this any more than it would occur to me to inform you that your cat has a tail".
And YES I hear how arrogant that last sentence is.
Perhaps that's it... The fact that I can hear the arrogance in that sentence may mean I have some hope, here. I would not have heard it only a few months ago.
Ok... so now I know why I was driven to write this post. By writing this I have learned that the key is to learn to recognize those things I say that are arrogant. I believe that if I recognize it I will stop doing it.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Hey there SR family
Hope everyone is doing well. Today I'm doing ok. heck that's all we can ask for. I'm taking fri and Monday off work and the plans are we go camping for 4 days, the fall colors are suppose to be at there prime right around now. Hoping to do some hiking and also some trail riding in the jeep. When I say camping I really mean Glamping, (queen bed, ac/heat, tv/dvd, all the essentials).
I thought of going to see my parents in MI as their health is starting to decline, (not life or death) but I decided that I need to take care of myself. Just some time when I don't have to think about work, courts/probation and my parents. Does it make sense or am I being selfish?
Anyway that's all for now.
Rainman
Hope everyone is doing well. Today I'm doing ok. heck that's all we can ask for. I'm taking fri and Monday off work and the plans are we go camping for 4 days, the fall colors are suppose to be at there prime right around now. Hoping to do some hiking and also some trail riding in the jeep. When I say camping I really mean Glamping, (queen bed, ac/heat, tv/dvd, all the essentials).
I thought of going to see my parents in MI as their health is starting to decline, (not life or death) but I decided that I need to take care of myself. Just some time when I don't have to think about work, courts/probation and my parents. Does it make sense or am I being selfish?
Anyway that's all for now.
Rainman
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Makes sense to me....
You have to take care of yourself first or you will never be of any use to anyone else.
So... Yes... camping is a very good idea, imho.
Heh, glamping... never heard of that. I was always the bozo scout leader who slept outside in a tent at 20 below rather than stay in the cabin with the boys.
You have to take care of yourself first or you will never be of any use to anyone else.
So... Yes... camping is a very good idea, imho.
Heh, glamping... never heard of that. I was always the bozo scout leader who slept outside in a tent at 20 below rather than stay in the cabin with the boys.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Rainman1
I can't concentrated, my mind is everywhere. So much going on.
All the stuff that the courts said I need to do has been overwhelming, daughter, grandbaby and son-in-law are moving back to Texas this weekend, my daughter who lives at home is moving out (with my other daughter). My stepmom's chemo treatments are kicking her ass, my dad was put in the hospital yesterday with pneumonia in both lungs. I'm in TX, their in MI.
My work in suffering because I can't stay focused..
But hey, I'm dealing with this SOBER.
All the stuff that the courts said I need to do has been overwhelming, daughter, grandbaby and son-in-law are moving back to Texas this weekend, my daughter who lives at home is moving out (with my other daughter). My stepmom's chemo treatments are kicking her ass, my dad was put in the hospital yesterday with pneumonia in both lungs. I'm in TX, their in MI.
My work in suffering because I can't stay focused..
But hey, I'm dealing with this SOBER.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Rainman1
Hey there SR family
Hope everyone is doing well. Today I'm doing ok. heck that's all we can ask for. I'm taking fri and Monday off work and the plans are we go camping for 4 days, the fall colors are suppose to be at there prime right around now. Hoping to do some hiking and also some trail riding in the jeep. When I say camping I really mean Glamping, (queen bed, ac/heat, tv/dvd, all the essentials).
I thought of going to see my parents in MI as their health is starting to decline, (not life or death) but I decided that I need to take care of myself. Just some time when I don't have to think about work, courts/probation and my parents. Does it make sense or am I being selfish?
Anyway that's all for now.
Rainman
Hope everyone is doing well. Today I'm doing ok. heck that's all we can ask for. I'm taking fri and Monday off work and the plans are we go camping for 4 days, the fall colors are suppose to be at there prime right around now. Hoping to do some hiking and also some trail riding in the jeep. When I say camping I really mean Glamping, (queen bed, ac/heat, tv/dvd, all the essentials).
I thought of going to see my parents in MI as their health is starting to decline, (not life or death) but I decided that I need to take care of myself. Just some time when I don't have to think about work, courts/probation and my parents. Does it make sense or am I being selfish?
Anyway that's all for now.
Rainman
I don't personally think it's selfish at all to do a little soul resetting, especially during such a stressful time. All the books I read talk about filling up our own cup first before even attempting to help others.
I hope you have a wonderful time- aren't you celebrating with Weev tomorrow, 6 months!
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Thanks SF, Yes it's official, I can celebrate 6 months sober. WooHoo. I can't say enough how proud I am of myself, with that said I didn't do it alone nor do I think I could have. God, my family and SR all help me achieve this. I'm excited tomorrow I'll go to a meeting and get my 6 month coin.
I had a great weekend. It was my wife daughter and 2 dog. We left fri morning for a place called Robbers Cave in OK. Weather was perfect, We hiked most of the day Sat and on Sun went and looked at the fall colors. Campfire and star gazing every night. Only downside is that I still need to clean the mud off the jeep after 4 wheel'n.
Rainman
I had a great weekend. It was my wife daughter and 2 dog. We left fri morning for a place called Robbers Cave in OK. Weather was perfect, We hiked most of the day Sat and on Sun went and looked at the fall colors. Campfire and star gazing every night. Only downside is that I still need to clean the mud off the jeep after 4 wheel'n.
Rainman
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Rainman1
Thanks SF, Yes it's official, I can celebrate 6 months sober. WooHoo. I can't say enough how proud I am of myself, with that said I didn't do it alone nor do I think I could have. God, my family and SR all help me achieve this. I'm excited tomorrow I'll go to a meeting and get my 6 month coin.
I had a great weekend. It was my wife daughter and 2 dog. We left fri morning for a place called Robbers Cave in OK. Weather was perfect, We hiked most of the day Sat and on Sun went and looked at the fall colors. Campfire and star gazing every night. Only downside is that I still need to clean the mud off the jeep after 4 wheel'n.
Rainman
I had a great weekend. It was my wife daughter and 2 dog. We left fri morning for a place called Robbers Cave in OK. Weather was perfect, We hiked most of the day Sat and on Sun went and looked at the fall colors. Campfire and star gazing every night. Only downside is that I still need to clean the mud off the jeep after 4 wheel'n.
Rainman
Just googled Robbers Cave- how gorgeous! I love those rocks too. Glad you had a wonderful time with perfect weather. The outdoors can be so rejuvenating- I wish I spent more time outside like you do.
Have a great weekend Rainman- great hearing from you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Weev, how are you doing??
I'm ok over here- could be better, could be worse. Doing some positive things for myself (a new hypnosis cd and book) but my latest allergy findings have me in a pretty low point. I am allergic to several things but nickel and fragrances are proving to be the most difficult to deal with. I can't use my beloved essential oils anymore and I have to replace every single beauty product, toiletry and cleaning product in my home. I am very overwhelmed and it feels like a huge loss as I've been using these products and oils for 8 years now. I know I'll get over it with time but right now it feels like something has been ripped from me and I've been betrayed.
I'm ok over here- could be better, could be worse. Doing some positive things for myself (a new hypnosis cd and book) but my latest allergy findings have me in a pretty low point. I am allergic to several things but nickel and fragrances are proving to be the most difficult to deal with. I can't use my beloved essential oils anymore and I have to replace every single beauty product, toiletry and cleaning product in my home. I am very overwhelmed and it feels like a huge loss as I've been using these products and oils for 8 years now. I know I'll get over it with time but right now it feels like something has been ripped from me and I've been betrayed.
Keep Going
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: England
Posts: 1,530
Originally Posted by venuscat
....I am worried about our WeaverBird......sending love and good energy. ♥♥♥
There are some days when I feel so well I thank the Heavens for sobriety, and I can see the benefits, and all is well with the world.
And then there are other days when my PMA Positive Mental Attitude just deserts me. Doesn't seem any rhyme or reason why. Had a couple of those days.
Exercise helps, so I took off walking like I've always done in sobriety and me and Dog covered miles cross country. We occasionally like crashing through the undergrowth and hacking our way through brambles a la Bear Grylls. Hard to get away from built-up towns and noise in this country. But it can be done.
I did briefly wonder if anyone would ever find us if I fell off the gorge we were scrambling up. Dog has 4 wheel drive for that kind of slippy wet terrain but I'm not as fit as I used to be. It's probably time to knock the sugar on the head and concentrate on physical fitness now and losing the weight round my mid section.
The sun is low on the horizon and the light is very beautiful through the trees which still have over half their leaves still on them. A hard frost killed off the ferns last night so winter will come now, but today there was still warmth in the sun and we hiked the sunny side of a ridge full of air and sky. We found a conifer forest which was dark and silent and your feet made no noise on the needles, like a place you only whisper!
We beat the sunset to get home and I am on the sofa now feeling a bit spiritually restored by nature in all her intricate beauty.
I love all you guys and I hope that you're doing really well in your different lives. We've all come so far and learned so much in 6 months. We are indeed tiny miracles, but miracles nevertheless!
Keep going!!
♥
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