Class of May 2017 Support Thread Part Three
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 21
What have you found helpful
I have a question or maybe it's a topic, what have you found the most useful so far? Is there a favorite/ important page in the BB or something that has hit home that your sponsor or a member has told you?
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Originally Posted by Poppy2006 
I have a question or maybe it's a topic, what have you found the most useful so far? Is there a favorite/ important page in the BB or something that has hit home that your sponsor or a member has told you?
I was, and still am to some extent, in huge denial of all of my bad behaviors (i.e. character defects). I really had myself on a pedestal. The more I interact with alcoholics and addicts and the more I read, the more I start to see myself in reality instead of in the fantasy I had created about myself.
In other news.... about to go to the courthouse to get a marriage license. 10 days to go until Suze (venuscat) and I tie the knot. I feel like the luckiest man in the world.
Sometimes I just can't believe it, y'know? I've been on SR for a long time. A few years ago this absolutely wonderful, beautiful, amazing Australian person showed up and started helping everyone, and I could not help but love her... I have always been in awe of the person she is and the love she spreads to everyone. And now... she is here in America... and marrying me. It's like an unbelievable fantasy.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
How everyone doing?? I managed to have a great day yesterday. I stayed positive and really focused on just having fun. That's what I need more of in my life- fun!
Going to a Mediterranean festival this afternoon with my parents and sister's family. Last night my oldest son had his first (spontaneous) sleep over by himself at my parents house. I am still in shock over it and so proud of him! He shared a bed with his 10 year old cousin. My boy is growing up
I would love to hear from all of you.
Going to a Mediterranean festival this afternoon with my parents and sister's family. Last night my oldest son had his first (spontaneous) sleep over by himself at my parents house. I am still in shock over it and so proud of him! He shared a bed with his 10 year old cousin. My boy is growing up
I would love to hear from all of you.
Keep Going
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: England
Posts: 1,530
Dear Sun, its really encouraging to hear you had a happy day. You're a bit ahead of me so maybe some fun is coming my way in the next few days
I think I have nicotine withdrawal. The Champix I'm taking is meant to block the receptors so I expect I'm grouchy from that.
I haven't been out with my girlfriends since I stopped drinking. I just don't trust myself not to go back there without even thinking about the consequences. I feel stuck between two worlds. I know a sober life will come but in the meantime I'm lonely (and wish I could dump some responsibility onto someone else!!!!)
Showers of hugs and kisses for you and the sunflower seeds
I think I have nicotine withdrawal. The Champix I'm taking is meant to block the receptors so I expect I'm grouchy from that.
I haven't been out with my girlfriends since I stopped drinking. I just don't trust myself not to go back there without even thinking about the consequences. I feel stuck between two worlds. I know a sober life will come but in the meantime I'm lonely (and wish I could dump some responsibility onto someone else!!!!)
Showers of hugs and kisses for you and the sunflower seeds
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Hey Sun, so glad to hear you had a great day, I truly hope that you have many many more of those days.
I'm doing Ok, Doing a little bit of camping on weekends and hanging with my wife. I guess I can't complain.
136 days sober, don't know if I could have done it without the Class of May 2017
I'm doing Ok, Doing a little bit of camping on weekends and hanging with my wife. I guess I can't complain.
136 days sober, don't know if I could have done it without the Class of May 2017
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Hey guys-
Weev, can you do something new with your girlfriends? What did you guys used to do together? Can you meet for coffee instead of drinks or go to a movie and dinner? I'm sorry you feel stuck between worlds. Have you made any sober friends through your meetings?
Hey Rainman! 136 days is awesome! Enjoy the camping- what a great hobby to have. Nature can be so reviving.
Still doing okay over here although I didn't check in for a few days because our laptop crashed and we had to get a new one. I am feel more in sync with the new routine for the boys but man I feel like time is flying by! So many drop offs and pick up! I am grateful to have a few hours, 3 days a week now at home alone to get stuff done (3 year old started preschool.) He is doing amazing! We even dropped his nap and he's upstairs as I type this, playing in his room alone! So is my 6 year old. I am not complaining today about anything.
Therapy is going well- he's doing Tibetan singing bowl therapy with me- it's calming but I haven't gotten into a deep meditative state yet. Maybe this evening I will. Either way I am enjoying my therapist and the 1 hour drive to get there. I get 3 hours to myself each week! I love driving so it's therapeutic for me
That's all for me. Much love to you my friends...can you believe how far we've come in such little time?
Weev, can you do something new with your girlfriends? What did you guys used to do together? Can you meet for coffee instead of drinks or go to a movie and dinner? I'm sorry you feel stuck between worlds. Have you made any sober friends through your meetings?
Hey Rainman! 136 days is awesome! Enjoy the camping- what a great hobby to have. Nature can be so reviving.
Still doing okay over here although I didn't check in for a few days because our laptop crashed and we had to get a new one. I am feel more in sync with the new routine for the boys but man I feel like time is flying by! So many drop offs and pick up! I am grateful to have a few hours, 3 days a week now at home alone to get stuff done (3 year old started preschool.) He is doing amazing! We even dropped his nap and he's upstairs as I type this, playing in his room alone! So is my 6 year old. I am not complaining today about anything.
Therapy is going well- he's doing Tibetan singing bowl therapy with me- it's calming but I haven't gotten into a deep meditative state yet. Maybe this evening I will. Either way I am enjoying my therapist and the 1 hour drive to get there. I get 3 hours to myself each week! I love driving so it's therapeutic for me
That's all for me. Much love to you my friends...can you believe how far we've come in such little time?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Hey guys- quiet little group we have here, huh?
I've been a little distance from SR lately- not sure why- I think I'm just spending less time online in general.
Things are so-so. Last week I was in a great place so I'm thankful for that. This week must be too close to pms for me to feel sane. I've been yelling a lot at the kids and losing my temper. In moments like these all I want is a full time job so I don't have to parent so much- it's exhausting. However the thought of a full time job is terrifying since I will be going into a new field and I am not sure I am ready for that.
Looking forward to therapy tomorrow- he's been doing a lot of meditations with me while playing Tibetan singing bowls in the background- pretty groovy but really all I want to do tomorrow is talk.
I have come to a conclusion which is pretty life changing- I am an empath. I always knew I was sensitive but I just read a book which pretty much explains so much about me and my life and why I am so sensitive to sound and the kids, and why I always need so much space. If you think you are one too, I highly recommend this book. It's also eye opening to know that empaths often seek to numb themselves with addictions to substances as well as food. Ding ding ding!! Because the stimulation of life is too much to handle!
The book is called The Empath's Survival Guide by Judith Orloff.
Anyway, hope to hear from you all soon.
AV came out to play the other day at a festival which scared the crap out of me because I could seriously see myself drinking wine. But I think I was just hungry and thirsty and hot from the heat. Some food took care of it, thank God.
Love to all you my sober friends...
I've been a little distance from SR lately- not sure why- I think I'm just spending less time online in general.
Things are so-so. Last week I was in a great place so I'm thankful for that. This week must be too close to pms for me to feel sane. I've been yelling a lot at the kids and losing my temper. In moments like these all I want is a full time job so I don't have to parent so much- it's exhausting. However the thought of a full time job is terrifying since I will be going into a new field and I am not sure I am ready for that.
Looking forward to therapy tomorrow- he's been doing a lot of meditations with me while playing Tibetan singing bowls in the background- pretty groovy but really all I want to do tomorrow is talk.
I have come to a conclusion which is pretty life changing- I am an empath. I always knew I was sensitive but I just read a book which pretty much explains so much about me and my life and why I am so sensitive to sound and the kids, and why I always need so much space. If you think you are one too, I highly recommend this book. It's also eye opening to know that empaths often seek to numb themselves with addictions to substances as well as food. Ding ding ding!! Because the stimulation of life is too much to handle!
The book is called The Empath's Survival Guide by Judith Orloff.
Anyway, hope to hear from you all soon.
AV came out to play the other day at a festival which scared the crap out of me because I could seriously see myself drinking wine. But I think I was just hungry and thirsty and hot from the heat. Some food took care of it, thank God.
Love to all you my sober friends...
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Happy Oct everyone. I'm feeling really guilty because I haven't checked in. I'm doing ok, I have a court date coming up this coming Fri, I know as the days go by I'll get more nervous, but I keep telling myself, I'll be ok no matter what the outcome is. My higher power (GOD) has my back, he'll take care of me no matter what.
Oct 5th will be 5 months since I've had a drink, do I think about it? yes how can a person not, It was part of my life for a long time. I'm very fortunate, I have a family that supports me, do they drink, yes, but they are very respectful of me. I think I have pretty much changed my life/social life completely in the last 5 month. I don't go hang out with my old buddies, yes I still keep in touch, I just don't go out with them. The other day a group of them went to a motorcycle event, when I saw it posted on FB I was a little hurt no one called to let me no they're going. It didn't take long for me to realize I wouldn't have gone anyways because I don't want to put myself in a situation where my AV would take over. I also think my friends realize that.
Well that's all the rambling for now. Lots of love from Texas sent ya'lls way.
Rainman
Oct 5th will be 5 months since I've had a drink, do I think about it? yes how can a person not, It was part of my life for a long time. I'm very fortunate, I have a family that supports me, do they drink, yes, but they are very respectful of me. I think I have pretty much changed my life/social life completely in the last 5 month. I don't go hang out with my old buddies, yes I still keep in touch, I just don't go out with them. The other day a group of them went to a motorcycle event, when I saw it posted on FB I was a little hurt no one called to let me no they're going. It didn't take long for me to realize I wouldn't have gone anyways because I don't want to put myself in a situation where my AV would take over. I also think my friends realize that.
Well that's all the rambling for now. Lots of love from Texas sent ya'lls way.
Rainman
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
I keep making mistakes. The same ones over and over... Really dumb ones.
Like: going to see my lawyer to sign paperwork... NOT bringing additional documentation he needed because he did not tell me he needed additional documentation. Sounds reasonable right? Lawyer's fault, right? Well, no... Because could easily have asked for all the stuff needed rather than just passively accepting what he said.
But I didn't, in that case and in countless others like it. Why? I could not figure out why. Am I supposed to be perfectly diligent, always crossing every t and dotting every i?
Ha... But it turns out that is not the point.
I went to a meeting tonight and the topic was fear. There was a guy there who could have been me. He said he keeps making mistakes because he is taking the easy road... Not checking things out... Not making use of all available information, because of fear. Fear that when he figures out the real story things will be difficult or scary or whatever. He is still living in fear, even though he is sober.
That is me! Now... I have banished a lot of my old fears, but this one still has me. I still avoid things that might be difficult. Before I went to the meeting I was honestly mystified. I felt like I just could not be expected to do everything perfectly.
But now I know that is not the point. It is all fear... And the solution is all recovery. I must walk through fear. Purposefully. And I must recognize those situations where fear is preventing me from doing what I know I should be doing.
I don't need to be perfect. I do need to be self-aware.
Like: going to see my lawyer to sign paperwork... NOT bringing additional documentation he needed because he did not tell me he needed additional documentation. Sounds reasonable right? Lawyer's fault, right? Well, no... Because could easily have asked for all the stuff needed rather than just passively accepting what he said.
But I didn't, in that case and in countless others like it. Why? I could not figure out why. Am I supposed to be perfectly diligent, always crossing every t and dotting every i?
Ha... But it turns out that is not the point.
I went to a meeting tonight and the topic was fear. There was a guy there who could have been me. He said he keeps making mistakes because he is taking the easy road... Not checking things out... Not making use of all available information, because of fear. Fear that when he figures out the real story things will be difficult or scary or whatever. He is still living in fear, even though he is sober.
That is me! Now... I have banished a lot of my old fears, but this one still has me. I still avoid things that might be difficult. Before I went to the meeting I was honestly mystified. I felt like I just could not be expected to do everything perfectly.
But now I know that is not the point. It is all fear... And the solution is all recovery. I must walk through fear. Purposefully. And I must recognize those situations where fear is preventing me from doing what I know I should be doing.
I don't need to be perfect. I do need to be self-aware.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Hey gang, hope ya'll are all good. I'm doing ok, I went to my first AA meeting tonight and I have to say I was glad I went. I didn't want to go in the past because in the back of my mind I thought I wasn't like them, I'm different. SR and my family was all I needed to stay sober. But after going to the meeting I realize AA is another tool to help me stay sober. I know I can't do it by myself. Heck whenever I do a project around the house I need lots of tools, why wouldn't I need lots of tools to stay sober.. Just say'n :-)
RM
RM
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Goat here
Good on you for going to that meeting RM!
Yeah.... so I was the poster child for "not interested in meetings"... They're all about religion... They're full of a bunch of crazy alcoholics... and I'm not really an alcoholic am I? Not like them anyway!
I was sure I would feel very out of place. It would be like every other group I've ever been involved with in my life. I won't fit in. I will be so obviously different from everyone else. I stick out like a sore thumb no matter where I go. And they'll do their chanting or kumbaya or mumbo jumbo or whatever it is they do and I will tolerate it until it's time to leave.
But I went anyway.
And you know what? It's the first place I ever went in my entire life that I *FIT*. I understand all the people in those rooms, and they understand me. After a lifetime of being a serious square peg.... I found where I belong. My people are addicts and alcoholics.
They knew why I drank... and so I learned why I drank too. And I learned how to do something about it.
I am so glad you went to that meeting RM
Good on you for going to that meeting RM!
Yeah.... so I was the poster child for "not interested in meetings"... They're all about religion... They're full of a bunch of crazy alcoholics... and I'm not really an alcoholic am I?
Not like them anyway!I was sure I would feel very out of place. It would be like every other group I've ever been involved with in my life. I won't fit in. I will be so obviously different from everyone else. I stick out like a sore thumb no matter where I go. And they'll do their chanting or kumbaya or mumbo jumbo or whatever it is they do and I will tolerate it until it's time to leave.
But I went anyway.
And you know what? It's the first place I ever went in my entire life that I *FIT*. I understand all the people in those rooms, and they understand me. After a lifetime of being a serious square peg.... I found where I belong. My people are addicts and alcoholics.
They knew why I drank... and so I learned why I drank too. And I learned how to do something about it.
I am so glad you went to that meeting RM
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
Thanks Goat, I'm glad I went also. I went to 4 meetings last week and so far 2 this week. I'm mostly sitting back and listening, I have to say everyone who speaks and tells a story of themselves I can relate in some form or fashion. as they/we say "KEEP COMING BACK"
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 521
I can't concentrated, my mind is everywhere. So much going on.
All the stuff that the courts said I need to do has been overwhelming, daughter, grandbaby and son-in-law are moving back to Texas this weekend, my daughter who lives at home is moving out (with my other daughter). My stepmom's chemo treatments are kicking her ass, my dad was put in the hospital yesterday with pneumonia in both lungs. I'm in TX, their in MI.
My work in suffering because I can't stay focused..
But hey, I'm dealing with this SOBER.
All the stuff that the courts said I need to do has been overwhelming, daughter, grandbaby and son-in-law are moving back to Texas this weekend, my daughter who lives at home is moving out (with my other daughter). My stepmom's chemo treatments are kicking her ass, my dad was put in the hospital yesterday with pneumonia in both lungs. I'm in TX, their in MI.
My work in suffering because I can't stay focused..
But hey, I'm dealing with this SOBER.
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