Wrigley119

Sending BIG hugs!! I'm SO sorry he is being so difficult!!

hns0685

I hope you know you'll always get to come back here! What you're thinking about and feeling is normal. Not sure if you've ever read the big book of AA, but there is a line in there that speaks straight to my heart every time... "Being able to drink like others is the great obsession of every alcoholic." It truly is. And it just has to come from our own decision and heart if we want to continue to test the waters or not. Sending you a big hug!

jenuk

D33 - Hello all.

Hi Wrigley, just reading your post from yesterday. Just to say I can only agree with what everyone else seems to be saying. Attempting controlled drinking is always a dangerous game that leads to the same result.

One thing I have managed to learn through many years of failed attempts is that you cant give your AV even the slightest opportunity. I always found that to even entertain the idea of drinking any amount of alcohol at a future date was basically like giving it the go ahead to jump straight back in the drivers seat and start running the show again. I try to stick to a total zero tolerance policy these days as I have found it to be the only way of keeping on track.

Glad to read you are going to think it over anyway.

Sorry to read you are having a tough time at the moment Susiegirl. Well done to sticking with being sober.

Well done to all the rest as always.

Susiegirl

Thanks Guys - I didn't shout at him but spoke to him calmly = what good its done I don't know.

I'm in a better mood this evening - been to a life coach course and always feel positive coming away from there - I'm loving it. Up in bed now so completing Day 12 sober

RuneStone

Checking in on day 27. Work sure is going better since I quit.

fishoutawatta

RS -- I know what you mean when you say "since I quit", but I would think that work ALWAYS goes better once one quits (the job).

RuneStone

Yes fish. I kind of left that open to interpretation.

Misc72

Day 29 and feeling anxious. Getting that feeling of is it worth it. I am determined to make it to 90 days. Guess I got some tragic news that a long ago childhood friend was just beat to death by cops. I don't know the whole story but so horrible and then my aunt had just died under suspicious circumstances and one of my brothers best friends just died from drinking and my husband and I have not been getting along... My son is acting out... Have to hold it together. Those of you that are familiar with me know that I'm always on the sunny side of life. But just feeling like what is the point with all this brutality in the world. I will say that in one form or another all of these people that have passed were either afflicted with their own addictions or came from it. I'll cheer up after a good nights sleep... Sorry to add doom and gloom. This is a great group. And I'm thankful I can come here and spill out my woes. love to all

Dee74

Hi SFL

I'm sorry for your loss and pain. The AV is a ruthless and callous opportunist - it thinks nothing of using your pain to further it's own ends - to get wasted.

for me the point is, sober, I m fulfilling my potential as a human being.

If there are things I don't like about the world I can step up and demand change.

I can;t fulfill my potential or agitate for change, or justice, drunk.

loulou1981

Hi class, just checking in. Sounds like some of u r having a rough time, ignore AV, its a liar!!!!
Day 11 2day, still have a bit of a hankering for crap food & at the same time not much appetite!! Getting up in a sec to make a green smoothy!!
Body boarding with the kids & hubbie later.
Luckily id already booked 2 weeks off work b4 getting sober, im so grateful for it.

Also, does anyone write a journal?? Wondering if its beneficial?

Have a wonderful day!!

ClearPath64

Mornin' all. Quick check in at 5:00am. Can't sleep late on vacation either. So many great posts on here over the last few days. Wrigley, I thought about you while I was at the game on Wednesday. We can all advise you that it's an awful idea to dip your toes back in the water, but it really comes down to you convincing yourself that you've come to the end of the road with your drinking. Like many here, I've tried and failed many, many times. I can't moderate because I'm an alcoholic. It's an unfortunate fact. I will finally succeed this time because I am truly done with alcohol and I'm finally at peace with that decision. Regardless of what you decide, we're here for you Wrigley.

SeanFox87

Day 30 now, feeling good again. Nothing new to report really. Going off to work this evening and then just keeping my mid occupied with movies and books. Had lunch in a pub/restaurant yesterday afternoon and don't have any cravings or anything. Just looking after my brothers dog at the moment then I'm going into town for some food with a friend.

Rubaduck

Having a rough time not drinking a cold beer these days. Every day all day for almost a week I've been really keen to quench the thirst. I think I actually found it easier in my first two weeks than I am now.

At least I have almost nothing negative going on in my life at the moment. Relationship with wife and kids is very good. I've got a bit more free time at the moment than usual and am very much enjoying doing a few things for myself for the first time in ages.

Wonderful to read that so many people are just ticking those days over, and seemingly easily in many cases too. Well done!!

DaisyBlueNew

Rubaduck part of me thinks once you get a few weeks under your belt the hankering to drink gets stronger and the reasons you quit become weaker. I'm on day 7 (one week!) and sometimes my saliva glands swell up at the thought of having a beer. It doesn't help that my roommate (partner?) drinks himself silly every day and there is always a fridge full of beer. Actually it does help. The first beer he drinks looks enticing but by his tenth, his slurred speech, angry words and actions turn me right off again. I look at him and think, yup, that could be me if I had that first beer.
Wrigley, I too am struggling with the thought of drinking for an occasion. Specifically, my best friend is coming to visit me next Sunday and has no idea I've stopped drinking. I've known her for about 40 years and we've always partied together. She is one of the few people I can drink with and actually have fun. I'm afraid she will be upset if I don't drink with her (I am picking her up from the airport and the plan was to hang out at my house, ie. drink, and she would sleep over and then I drive her to her parents the next day). I can just imagine her looking at me with "are you kidding me? we can't party together tonight? expression on her face and complete disappointment. So I'm wrangling with: should I drink one night with her and have fun or do I stick to my sobriety and as someone on here always says play the tape forward to the next day and wake up feeling not hungover and another sober day under my belt? Will one night and only one night be okay? I don't know but a large part of me is saying tough it out, don't give in. I'm afraid one night will lead to the slippery slope of drinking again.

Susiegirl

Late checking in on Day 13. Got up this morning and got my run out of the way. I have been shopping with my Mum and sister - I actually treated myself to a nice top in the sales. I need to go somewhere to wear it now.

I just want to say a huge congratulations to Sean Fox on his 30 days of sobriety. If I hadn't messed up I would be there with you today. Keep going - you are doing amazingly well X

I will be remaining sober tonight because I have arranged to pick my Dad up from the pub later - there will be no temptation for me. I'm feeling quite good today - feeling positive. I've messaged my old Netball coach with a view of going back to play. Its the end of the season at the moment but I'm looking to start next month. I need to start building more things into my life and I think this is a great start.

Hope you're all having a sober Friday X

Misc72

1 month milestone! Feels good... Makes me wanna get another one even more... My goal is 90 days... If I can do 90 days I can do this permanently. I just know it.

hns0685

Good morning everyone! Day 33 here... last night was rough. I think the closest Ive been to slipping up- difficult conversation with the husband last night regarding parenting styles and I got frustrated. I was really tempted to leave the house and drink. Dee- youre absolutely my AV ALWAYS uses my pain to make it seem like a good idea to numb out. Thankfully I stayed and had a sober conversation that ended with a resolution and agreement- this would not be the case if I decided to drink last night!

LouLou- I've journaled every day since I got sober this time. Its become part of my morning routine while I drink my coffee. I feel like it helps me organize my thoughts and plans for the day, process emotions, plus it's cool to look back on where I was say 20 days ago and see the progress I've made. Anyway, I'd recommend it!

Sunshine- You've totally got this! I know you can reach 90 days and prove it to yourself

Anyway, my older kids are approaching football and cheerleading season this next week and this evening is their beginning of the season bbq. My husband coaches so this is a big part of our year until November. Should be an easy night to stay sober. Just feeling really grateful that I woke up sober and clear headed this morning.

Hope everyone has a great day... TGIF!

SeanFox87

Thanks a bunch Susie, means a lot You're doing superb work yourself as is everyone, I'm certain you'll reach this marker in no time x

Well done JenUk, Sunshine72 and hns0685 too, I've noticed you're all in your 30s too and to anyone else I missed there. This class is all doing so well! Here's to another sober weekend!

FallingLeaves

I desperately wanted to buy beer today. I didn't. I'm proud.

RuneStone

Hello everyone. Way to go tamping down the ev! 4 weeks today! I'm closing in on that 30 day milestone.