Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 11
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,586
Have not read anyone's posts yet as am in a rush.
I wanted to get back to you Nands, as promised. Thank you so much, and I can say without doubt that there are many people here who would like to bop my son on the head. I haven't told many people the extend because it's so shameful, but those that do are horrified.
He is coming around this morning to do an "inspection report" so have to hurry. I hope it is civil and and we can talk. I don't think I could cop more abuse and yelling, and in fact I don't have to.
No tenant has to endure an abusive landlord and is entitled to ask them to leave if things degenerate beyond simple business. As a paying tenant the place is mine to have who I will, or will not, have as guest, landlord or son, it makes no difference.
I would hate to pull that Section of the Act on him but if he becomes abusive, I will. I'll just ask him to leave.
The removalists are arriving Monday 21st August and I am making good progress with the packing. I was running around like a mad thing trying to make everything neat as a pin before he arrived, then put down my tools knowing that it was not possible for everything to look great when in the middle of a move.
I was also angry with myself for even thinking about it, as there is nothing wrong with the flat outside of current disorganisation. It will be in tip top shape when I leave and have always done this when a tenant.
It is the right thing to do just as it's the right thing for a landlord to do when carrying out repairs, not that they do, leaving tenants afraid to ask for repairs to be carried out in case the rent is increased, or they are asked to leave for having the audacity to ask for repairs. Their fears are not unfounded.
So many things here need repairing, but I am too afraid to ask in case he gets angry and reminds me for the millionth time how I am receiving abated rent.
I want to sit and talk with him but the time is not right and will wait until I have my own place, and my own power.
Great minds think alike Nands as I was thinking myself that my son is not treating me like a mother so why should it be that I have to treat him like a son. It looks a bit like women who remain with an abusive husband because they luv them, and we all know this is not the way to go.
I was grateful to read about your 6 month break from family and think this will have to be the way it goes. I think it would be better for both of us. Time might be all it needs, and with me gone he will have no-one to blame, and hopefully look at his own development as a human being. He could be so good.
I will have to go as want to have a cuppa and walk down to the shops for milk before he arrives. I'll make morning tea and hope everything runs smoothly.
He's a funny little fellow. Loves animals so much, rescues them when abandoned or hurt yet treats me (and his sister) dreadfully. My own thoughts are that he has abandonment issues himself with the breakdown of my marriage. I think it affected him a lot. I know it did.
His obsession with money plays into the same scenario in the accruing of money and things. Wanting to "keep" things. It is too extreme for this not to be considered, and makes me sad and scared for him, and are the things I want to sit and talk with him about.
But for the time being I need a break.
My love to all.
I wanted to get back to you Nands, as promised. Thank you so much, and I can say without doubt that there are many people here who would like to bop my son on the head. I haven't told many people the extend because it's so shameful, but those that do are horrified.
He is coming around this morning to do an "inspection report" so have to hurry. I hope it is civil and and we can talk. I don't think I could cop more abuse and yelling, and in fact I don't have to.
No tenant has to endure an abusive landlord and is entitled to ask them to leave if things degenerate beyond simple business. As a paying tenant the place is mine to have who I will, or will not, have as guest, landlord or son, it makes no difference.
I would hate to pull that Section of the Act on him but if he becomes abusive, I will. I'll just ask him to leave.
The removalists are arriving Monday 21st August and I am making good progress with the packing. I was running around like a mad thing trying to make everything neat as a pin before he arrived, then put down my tools knowing that it was not possible for everything to look great when in the middle of a move.
I was also angry with myself for even thinking about it, as there is nothing wrong with the flat outside of current disorganisation. It will be in tip top shape when I leave and have always done this when a tenant.
It is the right thing to do just as it's the right thing for a landlord to do when carrying out repairs, not that they do, leaving tenants afraid to ask for repairs to be carried out in case the rent is increased, or they are asked to leave for having the audacity to ask for repairs. Their fears are not unfounded.
So many things here need repairing, but I am too afraid to ask in case he gets angry and reminds me for the millionth time how I am receiving abated rent.
I want to sit and talk with him but the time is not right and will wait until I have my own place, and my own power.
Great minds think alike Nands as I was thinking myself that my son is not treating me like a mother so why should it be that I have to treat him like a son. It looks a bit like women who remain with an abusive husband because they luv them, and we all know this is not the way to go.
I was grateful to read about your 6 month break from family and think this will have to be the way it goes. I think it would be better for both of us. Time might be all it needs, and with me gone he will have no-one to blame, and hopefully look at his own development as a human being. He could be so good.
I will have to go as want to have a cuppa and walk down to the shops for milk before he arrives. I'll make morning tea and hope everything runs smoothly.
He's a funny little fellow. Loves animals so much, rescues them when abandoned or hurt yet treats me (and his sister) dreadfully. My own thoughts are that he has abandonment issues himself with the breakdown of my marriage. I think it affected him a lot. I know it did.
His obsession with money plays into the same scenario in the accruing of money and things. Wanting to "keep" things. It is too extreme for this not to be considered, and makes me sad and scared for him, and are the things I want to sit and talk with him about.
But for the time being I need a break.
My love to all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,099
Hello all. I have been keeping busy with house work, cleaning walls and doing some heavy duty vacuming. My house has white stucco type walls, and I have two very active border collies, so there were many tennis ball marks on the wall that needed attention.
I am in need of something to do, a cause, an activity of some sort away from home, not work related. I was involved in the local Search and Rescue team, but quit that last year, as I had conflicts with the Sgts involved, so walked away from that, so I have been in search of another organization that fills my needs. So far no luck, but today I went to our local animal shelter and volunteered a few hours, cleaning, mopping, etc. they recently took in about 20 yorkie type dogs from a puppy mill, so I sat and snuggled with them for awhile, as socializing is of high importance right now. It didn't feel right, they are kenneled in a large shop, fenced in a (guess) 20 x 20 area, concrete floor, with an old couch and some scattered dog beds around. Dogs need access to grass, sunshine, fresh air, even little yapper dogs like them. There is no area like that around them, they just live within a metal and concrete shop. I can only be there one day a week, so I am unsure if my small contribution is worth the sadness I feel when I sit with them. They say that this is better than what they lived in before, but I personally am not sure how much. One of these little cuties was completely blind from neglect,,,, any way still searching, bobbing away on the ocean of the unknown. Thoughts?
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I am in need of something to do, a cause, an activity of some sort away from home, not work related. I was involved in the local Search and Rescue team, but quit that last year, as I had conflicts with the Sgts involved, so walked away from that, so I have been in search of another organization that fills my needs. So far no luck, but today I went to our local animal shelter and volunteered a few hours, cleaning, mopping, etc. they recently took in about 20 yorkie type dogs from a puppy mill, so I sat and snuggled with them for awhile, as socializing is of high importance right now. It didn't feel right, they are kenneled in a large shop, fenced in a (guess) 20 x 20 area, concrete floor, with an old couch and some scattered dog beds around. Dogs need access to grass, sunshine, fresh air, even little yapper dogs like them. There is no area like that around them, they just live within a metal and concrete shop. I can only be there one day a week, so I am unsure if my small contribution is worth the sadness I feel when I sit with them. They say that this is better than what they lived in before, but I personally am not sure how much. One of these little cuties was completely blind from neglect,,,, any way still searching, bobbing away on the ocean of the unknown. Thoughts?
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
I love the idea of volunteering at an animal shelter. Have you thought about volunteering at a nursing home? Breaks my heart that some elderly people get no visitors. I would love to do that here in Australia but I don't think I could really cope with the sadness of it all. Maybe when I am mentally stronger I will.
I know Steely has volunteered working at op shops, that's another option
I'm in the same boat as you though, I want to give back to society but not really sure how I can.
I know Steely has volunteered working at op shops, that's another option
I'm in the same boat as you though, I want to give back to society but not really sure how I can.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
I'm sorry the 24 hour thing is still bothering you Kenton. I understand the hisotry and the relevance at this time of year.
I did speak to the compiler about it and I've been reassured you'll be on the list from now on
I'll try and remember to think about it again at the start of next month just to make sure.
If you're not on there for the 2nd next month let me know.
Same thing with any of you guys
Something to keep in mind tho - it's a massive job to do those lists everyday and just as massive to keep them up to date - sometimes mistakes are made, and sometimes volunteers, like any of us, have other things going on in their lives beyond SR.
I've made mistakes too over the years - I do my best but I only have two hands and 24 hours in a day
I'm sorry it happened a few times but I've ticked every box I can to make sure its fixed now
When this stuff happens, it's far more likely to be just an oversight than a deliberate snub.
Don't leave the thread
D
I did speak to the compiler about it and I've been reassured you'll be on the list from now on
I'll try and remember to think about it again at the start of next month just to make sure.
If you're not on there for the 2nd next month let me know.
Same thing with any of you guys
Something to keep in mind tho - it's a massive job to do those lists everyday and just as massive to keep them up to date - sometimes mistakes are made, and sometimes volunteers, like any of us, have other things going on in their lives beyond SR.
I've made mistakes too over the years - I do my best but I only have two hands and 24 hours in a day
I'm sorry it happened a few times but I've ticked every box I can to make sure its fixed now
When this stuff happens, it's far more likely to be just an oversight than a deliberate snub.
Don't leave the thread
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,740
Just checking in to say I'm ok! Crazy few days, work has me covering for someone with a family emergency. I'm the one with no family so I end up covering those shifts... Yep
I will read up in the morning I think. Hope to chat soon
I will read up in the morning I think. Hope to chat soon
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Hey all,
Gonna take a break from here for a while. It's been great getting to know you all but I'm struggling and don't want to bring anyone down. The support here has been amazing and I hope everyone carries on doing so well. I won't be drinking, that's for certain. I'm just trying to come to terms with some deeply hidden issues that are just starting to resurface.
Love to you all xxx
Gonna take a break from here for a while. It's been great getting to know you all but I'm struggling and don't want to bring anyone down. The support here has been amazing and I hope everyone carries on doing so well. I won't be drinking, that's for certain. I'm just trying to come to terms with some deeply hidden issues that are just starting to resurface.
Love to you all xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
If you need to take some time, I understand. But please don't think you have any need to worry about "bringing people down"! When others struggle and I am able to help support them through that time, My life is added to.
And in the midst of the chaotic hardships that our lives sometimes the most important words are shared and our inter strength is actually improved by the sharing with others.
Please know that we are all to support you and no need to worry about bringing people down.
Love you so much Kenton
And in the midst of the chaotic hardships that our lives sometimes the most important words are shared and our inter strength is actually improved by the sharing with others.
Please know that we are all to support you and no need to worry about bringing people down.
Love you so much Kenton
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Love you too Nands. I'm such an emotional freakster at the moment. My dog is sick. He's about to spend his second night at the vets. Sounds so stupid but that dog has been my rock. Couldn't bear it if anything happened to him.
What I typed earlier... that is classic Kenton. Life is getting tough so I push everyone away. It's what I've always done. Emotions are all over the place and they were before my dog got sick.
I'm not going to drink. I don't even want to drink. I just want to get off this roller coaster because it feels like it's spinning out of control. I know it will calm down. Love you all xxxx
What I typed earlier... that is classic Kenton. Life is getting tough so I push everyone away. It's what I've always done. Emotions are all over the place and they were before my dog got sick.
I'm not going to drink. I don't even want to drink. I just want to get off this roller coaster because it feels like it's spinning out of control. I know it will calm down. Love you all xxxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Oh Kenton, I know what it's like to be worried about a fur baby. One of my little munchkins had complications from dental work, which resulted in her eye being infected and I was having to medicate her every 4 hours. She came to work with me, I would get up during the night to medicate and check on her. She is nearly 14 so I was very worried. Don't avoid this place please. Everyone here would dearly love to help and support you through this rough patch.
Sending super positive thoughts to your dog, the vet, you (of course) and your fam
xxx
Sending super positive thoughts to your dog, the vet, you (of course) and your fam
xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Kenton,
It isn't stupid that you feel your dog was your rock. My dogs mean so much to me. When one of our dogs dies, it hits more home for me than the death of my aunts and uncles who I rarely see.
Please allow yourself to feel with out guilt. you don't have to hide from your emotions anymore. It may be a rollecoster ride, but in the end you are belted in and the ride will stop and you will emerge a bit wobbly and slightly sick to the tummy, but alive, well, and the heroic woman that you are to all of us.
I too push people away when I need them most. I'm working on it and we all will get better as time goes on.
Loving you again!
It isn't stupid that you feel your dog was your rock. My dogs mean so much to me. When one of our dogs dies, it hits more home for me than the death of my aunts and uncles who I rarely see.
Please allow yourself to feel with out guilt. you don't have to hide from your emotions anymore. It may be a rollecoster ride, but in the end you are belted in and the ride will stop and you will emerge a bit wobbly and slightly sick to the tummy, but alive, well, and the heroic woman that you are to all of us.
I too push people away when I need them most. I'm working on it and we all will get better as time goes on.
Loving you again!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,586
Hey Kenton come on down to my place and help me move, we can have a nervous breakdown together this is a nightmare, and I'm freaking out too.
Kenton, I've made decisions to take a break, even leave SR because I felt it was doing my head in by constantly talking about my life. Groany, groan!
Sometimes it just got too much for me and knew I needed a break, so take one kenton and just be with yourself to think. I know how it feels.
The breaks I took did me good and I returned here with fresh eyes and think that taking a break can be part of the 'process' (hate buzz words) similar in some ways to taking a break from therapist, psychiatrist, when things get too overwhelming.
You need to do what you think is best for yourself, and in my opinion taking a break can be empowering in itself. That is, taking control of self as you work stuff out privately. Hopefully you will return with lots of new insights.
I hope you don't leave permanently kenton, and found for myself that in these early days I needed the support and conversation with others here to keep me centred. But taking a break helped me in different ways, and I learned further, and that's the purpose of the exercise
Take a break kenton, but keep reading here as you are much loved and have much to offer.
I hope your doggy is on the mend.
Love to you kenton xxx
this is a nightmare, and I'm freaking out too. Kenton, I've made decisions to take a break, even leave SR because I felt it was doing my head in by constantly talking about my life. Groany, groan!
Sometimes it just got too much for me and knew I needed a break, so take one kenton and just be with yourself to think. I know how it feels.
The breaks I took did me good and I returned here with fresh eyes and think that taking a break can be part of the 'process' (hate buzz words) similar in some ways to taking a break from therapist, psychiatrist, when things get too overwhelming.
You need to do what you think is best for yourself, and in my opinion taking a break can be empowering in itself. That is, taking control of self as you work stuff out privately. Hopefully you will return with lots of new insights.
I hope you don't leave permanently kenton, and found for myself that in these early days I needed the support and conversation with others here to keep me centred. But taking a break helped me in different ways, and I learned further, and that's the purpose of the exercise
Take a break kenton, but keep reading here as you are much loved and have much to offer.
I hope your doggy is on the mend.
Love to you kenton xxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,740
Ugh I have slumped into a slump. I have one social obligation toight. I'm pretty tired but I do want to have a short visit with my neighbor. Then it's straight home to hole up and get caught up... I've been depressed and overwhelmed
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
Hello nobenders!
I feel almost bad for posting cause I haven't read everyone's posts and feel like I don't contribute to this thread lately.
But I saw my name popping up in a couple of posts and I wanted to let you all know that I'm doing fine. It's nice to see that you're still thinking of me even when I'm just lurking.
My life has gotten very busy and I go to meetings almost every evening, then cook myself dinner, work on my steps or read in the BB, write in my gratitude journal and pray.
I didn't get involved or anything with that AA guy, I try to avoid him and go to meetings where he usually doesn't go to. And I generally feel more relaxed and better that way so I will stick to it.
The relationship with my sponsor is a bit superficial for my taste so I don't know if I will stick with her. We just don't seem to connect on a deeper level. I'll give it some more time though.
In other news my foot is broken so no running. It's just a small bone that's fractured so I didn't end up with a cast. But it's unclear if it heals properly and if I will ever be able to run again. I'm dealing with it one day at a time and do what I can to help my body heal.
Next week I'll be going to Greece with my boyfriend for two weeks, I'm really excited about it.
Also I want to tell you all that it's not the case that I no longer care about you. You're still on my mind daily and I care very much about every one of you. Whenever I read that someone's doing well, it makes my heart happy and every time one of you is struggling I really wish I could help and hope that things will get better for you. But because I check in so rarely I always am late and someone else has already said everything I would wanna say.
This time I'm gonna say it anyway. Kenton, I really hope your doggie will get better soon and to me personally, pets are family members. No less important than any human. So I think I understand how difficult this must be for you.
This thread is not for being all positive, strong and inspiring all the time though, so don't be shy to come here when you're down. It's primary purpose for it is to keep us posting instead of drinking. And supporting each other. You've given so much to me (and I think to many others on here) that you can feel free to just take for a while.
Going to bed now cause it's already late.
Sorry again for not spending more time on this thread right now. That might change again. Lots of love to all of you!
I feel almost bad for posting cause I haven't read everyone's posts and feel like I don't contribute to this thread lately.
But I saw my name popping up in a couple of posts and I wanted to let you all know that I'm doing fine. It's nice to see that you're still thinking of me even when I'm just lurking.
My life has gotten very busy and I go to meetings almost every evening, then cook myself dinner, work on my steps or read in the BB, write in my gratitude journal and pray.
I didn't get involved or anything with that AA guy, I try to avoid him and go to meetings where he usually doesn't go to. And I generally feel more relaxed and better that way so I will stick to it.
The relationship with my sponsor is a bit superficial for my taste so I don't know if I will stick with her. We just don't seem to connect on a deeper level. I'll give it some more time though.
In other news my foot is broken so no running. It's just a small bone that's fractured so I didn't end up with a cast. But it's unclear if it heals properly and if I will ever be able to run again. I'm dealing with it one day at a time and do what I can to help my body heal.
Next week I'll be going to Greece with my boyfriend for two weeks, I'm really excited about it.
Also I want to tell you all that it's not the case that I no longer care about you. You're still on my mind daily and I care very much about every one of you. Whenever I read that someone's doing well, it makes my heart happy and every time one of you is struggling I really wish I could help and hope that things will get better for you. But because I check in so rarely I always am late and someone else has already said everything I would wanna say.
This time I'm gonna say it anyway. Kenton, I really hope your doggie will get better soon and to me personally, pets are family members. No less important than any human. So I think I understand how difficult this must be for you.
This thread is not for being all positive, strong and inspiring all the time though, so don't be shy to come here when you're down. It's primary purpose for it is to keep us posting instead of drinking. And supporting each other. You've given so much to me (and I think to many others on here) that you can feel free to just take for a while.
Going to bed now cause it's already late.
Sorry again for not spending more time on this thread right now. That might change again. Lots of love to all of you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
Hi Dee and thanks!
I still can walk on my foot, I have to wear shoes with good cushioning (ironically my running shoes) and special insoles though. And I shouldn't walk too much so the plan is we rent bikes. Biking is okay cause there's no weight on the part that's fractured.
In the worst case my BF will have to piggyback me around the islands
How are you doing?
I still can walk on my foot, I have to wear shoes with good cushioning (ironically my running shoes) and special insoles though. And I shouldn't walk too much so the plan is we rent bikes. Biking is okay cause there's no weight on the part that's fractured.
In the worst case my BF will have to piggyback me around the islands
How are you doing?
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