Gilmer

l-o-l!

FBL

Perfect weather for my Sunday morning nature walk. Caught a glimpse of the reclusive heron last week...he gets spooked very easily.

Have a Super Sunday, overs!

Saskia

I hope you all have weather as beautiful as we are having here 😎

Gilmer

I love to watch herons (from a distance).

They stand for a quarter of an hour on one leg, staring down at the pond.

Time goes on--then all at once they STRIKE!

Then they take two strides and repeat the process.

When you open your door and take a step out, they flap languidly away.

feeling-good

Hi Overs!

I have been tasked with something by my psychologist - working on forgiving myself (not just for things that occurred during active alcoholism, but a whole host of things from my past). So, I wondered if any of you have any examples of how you have been able to forgive yourself for any number of things that have happened in your life?

PhoenixJ

A vey long and difficult process for me. And hards work.
I look back often on my past- and immediately feel all the crap that went with those times. The trick, for me- with CBT and a psychologist is to recall those times- but use my powers of sobriety to see them with new emotional awareness and without the warped thinking. This means I am slowly beginning to ACCEPT the past, that it is exactly that- the past. Being mindful I can use these mems to strengthen my resolve today and plan for a happier tomorrow. Thus forgiveness starts with acceptance and letting go. This is a far as I have got, but it feels better than being in that dark place.

Itchy

I just lost two replies, a long one catching up with all and then abother saying I lost it. If I let a reply stay on the screen it will automatically log me off and then with the post sitting there visible and copyable, if I forget, and click to post quick reply it says only logged in users can access that page and forces me to log in only after it loses what was o n the post. This website has been set up screwy by folks who do not know the forum software settings.

Midwest1981

Itchy- I hate when I lose a post! It can be frustrating!

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I just wanted to pop in and say HI!

Saskia

FG, one of the things I was taught is to imagine myself today holding the little girl that was me and talking to her, telling her that she is lovable and that she isn't responsible for things that happened. Doing that repeatedly helped me come to accept.

PhoenixJ

Hi folks- Monday, 1050. Am the sec. for a meeting today (every Mon). Interesting because the same venue runs 3 meetings a week. Each has it's own sec. But due to gambling probs. one of the other meeting secr's asked me to be treasurer while she sorts herself out. Another member is not happy and thus politics ensues. I am in the middle- but really do not care- what with still pondering things like burning to death just over 2 years ago, being a good guy in 'd' proceedings, pain, blah. Still is tiring. I do understand others anxieties and so on more now- so not getting involved comes quite naturally. Avagooday all.

Dee74

Back on deck - hope everyone's doing ok

D

InParticular

Hi Dee!
So what happened is, to keep it very short, I handed in my contract with my hourly rate and rental rates (phone, computer, etc.) filled in by me and signed by my HOD, but when I got my first cheque a week later it was at a lower rate. I asked for my contract back and my rate and rentals had been crossed out and changed without my knowledge, and they so far have refused me an explanation and are also refusing to give me the higher rate I asked for, because the last coordinator worked for a lower rate but I'm doing more work than she did. So on monday I have to demand an explanation or conversation from the production, or to be compensated for the week of work I did at a wage I wasn't aware of, or call the union and report them. Fun stuff! Absolutely do not want to get involved in this, it's a good job that I want, and at the end of the day it still pays great. Argh it really sucks.
I really like Saskia's vision of forgiveness. I think meditating on the past being over and done, is so important but also so hard to do.

Treerat66

Good morning Overs.

I hope you enjoyed your break Dee.

InPar - why does management think they can walk all over people? Best wishes for sorting it out.

Sunny here this morning.

Have a good day everyone.

tootsl1

FG, it can be difficult to forgive ourselves in circumstances where we would readily forgive someone else we loved. Forgiveness is love, I needed to love and accept who I was then to begin to forgive. You are not the same person any more, you know that you can look back and feel remorse for the things you did. Genuine remorse makes forgiveness easier. Find ways to love the woman you were and know she is sorry for the all too human mistakes she might have made. If she were your daughter, you would forgive anything.

Sass if by enjoying the weather you mean wet, windy with occasional rainbows instead of decent summer? Then yes, I love wearing my jumper and raincoat in July!!! ( typical Scottish summer eh FG!)

Got some sun to look forward to from Wednesday when we return to the Spanish house for a short trip. ( I'll probably moan that I can't sleep because it's too hot!)

IP hope the issues get sorted.

Andy watch that rain, electrocution is no thrill!!

Itchy I feel your pain. I never get logged out if I leave my threads open though, so not sure why you do? I keep my main threads open on safari and update them when I go to write, if I've forgotten and get told I'm out of time I just back click copy refresh and paste. Obviously you have a different set up.

Monumental Monday everyone!

FBL

Itch, I rarely do long posts here, but if I did I would compose it in Word and then copy it when I was ready to post. A little extra effort, but surely better than losing it.

IP, that really sucks about your pay. I'm glad that I get to deal directly with my boss, face-to-face. Sometimes I need to hand him a crowbar to pry open his wallet.

Have a Marvelous Monday, overs!

Saskia

IP, maybe you could borrow FBL's crowbar? Seriously though, that really does suck.

Toots, you could always zip over here to get some sunshine 😎

Dee, always good to have you here - welcome back.

PJ, serious stuff that happens to us can make the smaller stuff seem trivial though to people who haven't experienced something as bad as you have, it's beyond their comprehension so smaller stuff matters more. So sorry for all you've been through! I can't honestly imagine how bad that must have been.

Have a good Monday, Overs!

Midwest1981

FG- The forgiving yourself is very hard to do. I don't know how it all works but I can feel it happening. I look back and have regrets but I realize I was really young and a lot of how I think is how I grew up but now I see things through different lenses and have my own opinion about them. I also notice the more I forgive myself the more forgiving of other people I am. The more I genuinely wish the best for myself I genuinely wish the best for other people.

And like PJ said I am not getting involved in all that little drama either. Someone blocked me on instagram this week because she is mad at one of my friends. lol. Anyways I am not letting it bother me. She is young. She has a lot of growing up to do still. I am not going to say anything to her. lol. stupid social media.

InPar- Best of luck working out everything today.

I hope everyone has a great day. Tomorrow is when I leave for my mom's for her procedure.

PhoenixJ

It is all got to doos with carma. Like blue whales- they got karma.
One of the ladies in this kerfuffle about the meetings mentioned today she gets so anxious going up an escalator- she has to close her eyes and pray to god that she can use her higher power to reach the top. Such private anxiety must be hell . She used to walk for miles- just to avoid catching a bus because of that same anxiety.

Saskia

Midwest, sending positive thoughts for your mom!

PJ, yes, I think many of us have our own private misery and often we don't really know what it's like to walk in another's shoes.

PhoenixJ

My wise old gran- in her very small retirement flat had one of those wooden plaques with burnt etching that said 'I once complained I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet'.