The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) #2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,031
Good morning from MI 
So glad it's Friday, but the weekends go by way too fast, LOL. I hit 40 days today and am pretty tickled about it. I'm so thankful to God for guiding me and for my SR family for always being here.
I don't post much, but I do read as often as I can. I feel the pain of day 1 after day 1, as if it just won't end, but, believe me, it can end. I think hitting a milestone birthday did it to me...I just couldn't see myself living the rest of my life fighting with alcohol. I hate conflict!
Praying everyone sees some success today in their battle, no matter how far along you are.
July 28 @ 6:26 am
So glad it's Friday, but the weekends go by way too fast, LOL. I hit 40 days today and am pretty tickled about it. I'm so thankful to God for guiding me and for my SR family for always being here.
I don't post much, but I do read as often as I can. I feel the pain of day 1 after day 1, as if it just won't end, but, believe me, it can end. I think hitting a milestone birthday did it to me...I just couldn't see myself living the rest of my life fighting with alcohol. I hate conflict!
Praying everyone sees some success today in their battle, no matter how far along you are.
July 28 @ 6:26 am
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,833
When I was about 12 years-old, I used to help my Mom look after a neighbor boy that was about 5 years younger than me. One day I talked my Mom into letting me take the boy down to the local park by myself. We were playing on the slide and the boy fell off and cracked his head open on the blacktop. I was able to get him home and of course, I felt responsible for what happened. His mother was pretty worked up when she saw the blood and my Mom took full responsibility for the incident, even though I was the one that talked her into letting me take him there in the first place. I felt bad for awhile, but after a few days when I saw he was going to be okay, I felt better. Wow. I haven't thought about that incident in years! My point is Del, it could've been a lot worse and I bet you and your son will get over it in time. The more we learn to deal with "real life" sober, the stronger our sobriety becomes.
Have a great Friday, gang!
Have a great Friday, gang!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Courage, in a way it's good to be sad at the nymphs' departure. The reason you're sad is that the collaboration has been so successful and mutually beneficial! You were privileged enough to get to know them and, and you played a large role in shaping them.
The entire experience sounds as if it was terrific for all of you.
How much better to feel sadness than regret or belief?
At this point in your recovery, it appears that most of your important relationships have become a lot richer.
You engage with, discover, and thereby enjoy and appreciate the people in your sphere (well, except for certain posturing windbags at work!).
It's a lovely thing to have the capacity to feel, even though the emotions might be unpleasant sometimes.
So actually, I'm thrilled for you that you're sad! I have no doubt the parting is bittersweet for the nymphs, too.
The entire experience sounds as if it was terrific for all of you.
How much better to feel sadness than regret or belief?
At this point in your recovery, it appears that most of your important relationships have become a lot richer.
You engage with, discover, and thereby enjoy and appreciate the people in your sphere (well, except for certain posturing windbags at work!
).It's a lovely thing to have the capacity to feel, even though the emotions might be unpleasant sometimes.
So actually, I'm thrilled for you that you're sad! I have no doubt the parting is bittersweet for the nymphs, too.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Welcome, Optimist!
Dell, I see a very graceful and relatively painless way out for you here with the mother of the difficult child.
Just fall on your sword a bit, so she won't feel blamed.
Respond to the mom, "I suspect you're right in a way: for whatever reason, I'm not able to interact with your child very effectively. It's difficult for me, and I'm sure it's been difficult for her, too.
"Maybe at the root it's a personality clash.
"In any case, I think it's time to find a new daycare provider for her. I'll look after her for two more weeks, while you find a replacement.
"It just hasn't been working out for anyone's benefit.
"The 11th of August will be my last day.
"I'm sorry it didn't work out."
I used to dread bringing unpleasant news. I even dreaded making phonecalls to businesses to try to correct their clear errors, or even add a new account!
Somehow my horror of it went away. I think my recovery helped me to feel on par with every other human in the world. Not inferior, not superior (or an odd mixture of the two): just a fellow human with a purpose to accomplish.
I don't think you believe that you're as worthy of peace and goodness as other people, Del.
You have genuine value in this world that nothing can take away. I believe it is given to all of us from above--you as much as anyone else!
The conversation with the mom might take five minutes--and then you'll be free forever!
You'll feel very good and empowered once you finally go through with it.
Dell, I see a very graceful and relatively painless way out for you here with the mother of the difficult child.
Just fall on your sword a bit, so she won't feel blamed.
Respond to the mom, "I suspect you're right in a way: for whatever reason, I'm not able to interact with your child very effectively. It's difficult for me, and I'm sure it's been difficult for her, too.
"Maybe at the root it's a personality clash.
"In any case, I think it's time to find a new daycare provider for her. I'll look after her for two more weeks, while you find a replacement.
"It just hasn't been working out for anyone's benefit.
"The 11th of August will be my last day.
"I'm sorry it didn't work out."
I used to dread bringing unpleasant news. I even dreaded making phonecalls to businesses to try to correct their clear errors, or even add a new account!
Somehow my horror of it went away. I think my recovery helped me to feel on par with every other human in the world. Not inferior, not superior (or an odd mixture of the two): just a fellow human with a purpose to accomplish.
I don't think you believe that you're as worthy of peace and goodness as other people, Del.
You have genuine value in this world that nothing can take away. I believe it is given to all of us from above--you as much as anyone else!
The conversation with the mom might take five minutes--and then you'll be free forever!
You'll feel very good and empowered once you finally go through with it.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,027
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
So actually, I'm thrilled for you that you're sad!
Del, I <3 Gilmer's suggest for ending your caretaking of the child. Classic relationship-ender "It's not you, it's me." And don't back down if she offers you double. You need this one off your back.
Hi Optimist!
I hope everyone has a good, sober, & drug-free day
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Originally Posted by Gilmer
I think my recovery helped me to feel on par with every other human in the world. Not inferior, not superior (or an odd mixture of the two): just a fellow human with a purpose to accomplish.
I don't think you believe that you're as worthy of peace and goodness as other people, Del.
I don't think you believe that you're as worthy of peace and goodness as other people, Del.
You have as much of a right to be happy as any of the parents whose children you watch. Maybe more so, because you have lifted the addiction monkey off of your back. Sober life is scary because we don't have any experience living it. Every day is a new day. It's hard a lot of times and can be terrifying. Sometimes, it seems easier to just say screw it and use again. But I think each of us knows that if that decision is made, there is zero guarantee that any of us here could climb back aboard the sobriety train. You have come a long way just in the little time that I have known you. If your life situation is bringing you closer to a Day One, you need to do what you need to do to avoid it.
Del, you also may want to see a doctor just to make sure there are no other issues going on. High blood sugars, pressure, depression and a host of others could be affecting your mood and self judgement. A lot of us have underlying depression that steered us towards using to help alleviate. Just throwing that out there.
In the midst of a wicked schedule and my washer died the other night, so trying to cram quick laundromat visits in when I can. This used to be the kind of trigger that would get me going. Instead, I simply made a call and set up an appointment to get it fixed. No drama. Life goes on.
Have the best day that you can!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57
Good morning from MI
So glad it's Friday, but the weekends go by way too fast, LOL. I hit 40 days today and am pretty tickled about it. I'm so thankful to God for guiding me and for my SR family for always being here.
I don't post much, but I do read as often as I can. I feel the pain of day 1 after day 1, as if it just won't end, but, believe me, it can end. I think hitting a milestone birthday did it to me...I just couldn't see myself living the rest of my life fighting with alcohol. I hate conflict!
Praying everyone sees some success today in their battle, no matter how far along you are.
July 28 @ 6:26 am
So glad it's Friday, but the weekends go by way too fast, LOL. I hit 40 days today and am pretty tickled about it. I'm so thankful to God for guiding me and for my SR family for always being here.
I don't post much, but I do read as often as I can. I feel the pain of day 1 after day 1, as if it just won't end, but, believe me, it can end. I think hitting a milestone birthday did it to me...I just couldn't see myself living the rest of my life fighting with alcohol. I hate conflict!
Praying everyone sees some success today in their battle, no matter how far along you are.
July 28 @ 6:26 am
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Del, kick your ex in the balls !
Optimist great to see you !!!
Today a usmc vet in my Fire dept area died. Korean War era vet. I met him 2 months ago because we ran multiple med calls on him. I gave him marine to marine hell, every time I saw him and the old guy loved it. His son told me his dad had been saluting invisible ppl, past 2 days.
With their permission, I led the hearse out of the area, emergency lights going. The son, stood out in the road with his hand over his heart. Choked me up bad.
I'm thankful to be sober to give final respects to a veteran I was proud to know.
My first time, since past 20 yrs I've been selfish unstable and all sorts of messed up.
I'm emotionally exhausted and got 2 more long workdays. Gym after work both days I hope.
Gnite, and hugs , friends !
Optimist great to see you !!!
Today a usmc vet in my Fire dept area died. Korean War era vet. I met him 2 months ago because we ran multiple med calls on him. I gave him marine to marine hell, every time I saw him and the old guy loved it. His son told me his dad had been saluting invisible ppl, past 2 days.
With their permission, I led the hearse out of the area, emergency lights going. The son, stood out in the road with his hand over his heart. Choked me up bad.
I'm thankful to be sober to give final respects to a veteran I was proud to know.
My first time, since past 20 yrs I've been selfish unstable and all sorts of messed up.
I'm emotionally exhausted and got 2 more long workdays. Gym after work both days I hope.
Gnite, and hugs , friends !
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,027
Congrats on the good reception for your work, FBL, and congrats on 41 days today, Optimist!
I'm good today -- *not* going to the office In retrospect I don't think my recent lowness was sadness over the departures of the young women, though I thank you for seeing that in such a warm light, Gilmer. It was discomfort caused by spending time in a "bespoke" hipster craft beer bar.
Being around drinking makes me think harder about old times than is good for sobriety. I was having flashbacks of the prominent beers in my life, no joke. For a hard-liquor-drinker, there were surprisingly many.
I'm taking some time to reflect and reorient. There were a couple of moments there when I felt too wobbly for comfort.
I'm good today -- *not* going to the office
In retrospect I don't think my recent lowness was sadness over the departures of the young women, though I thank you for seeing that in such a warm light, Gilmer. It was discomfort caused by spending time in a "bespoke" hipster craft beer bar. Being around drinking makes me think harder about old times than is good for sobriety. I was having flashbacks of the prominent beers in my life, no joke. For a hard-liquor-drinker, there were surprisingly many.
I'm taking some time to reflect and reorient. There were a couple of moments there when I felt too wobbly for comfort.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Everywhere I've turned since Thursday I've seen refrigerators full of craft beer, first at my daughter's house (wannabe hipster son-in-law) to my own mini fridge upstairs! Friends of my husband bring some over for "guys' nights," and the leftovers end up lingering here.
I'll call my son-in-law to come get this crap. Unless, of course, it's not fancy-pants enough for his taste, in which case I'll just dump it out.
I'll call my son-in-law to come get this crap. Unless, of course, it's not fancy-pants enough for his taste, in which case I'll just dump it out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Is this a normal ebb and flow? Being surrounded by alcohol or dipping into the think pool of it. Time of year?
I don't feel wobbly anymore.
I was put through the ringer yesterday so I don't have the energy to think about it.
My ex threatened to come pick up my son because I wasn't answering his calls.
I am just tired.
I don't feel wobbly anymore.
I was put through the ringer yesterday so I don't have the energy to think about it.
My ex threatened to come pick up my son because I wasn't answering his calls.
I am just tired.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
We always romanticize the past, Cour.
Lately for me it's been, "if only I could have my thirties back!"
Actually, I was a mess emotionally--but in my sentimental reminiscences I don't see the havoc I wreaked (and I did wreak havoc). I see only the rosy vigor of youth.
Ironically, even though lately has been the very best time of my life BY A LONGSHOT, I'm still rather down.
The fact is that my past really sucked, and I'm blessed to be rid of it.
The rose-colored glasses show nothing but illusion. The voice of the shrimpy guy behind the screen is being amplified and distorted to sound like the thundering and fearsome, omnipotent WIZARD OF OZ!
The brilliant "burning a candle at both ends" sure enough didn't last the night--and in point of fact, there was a flip side to the "lovely light" that caused far more torture than it was worth.
Lately for me it's been, "if only I could have my thirties back!"
Actually, I was a mess emotionally--but in my sentimental reminiscences I don't see the havoc I wreaked (and I did wreak havoc). I see only the rosy vigor of youth.
Ironically, even though lately has been the very best time of my life BY A LONGSHOT, I'm still rather down.
The fact is that my past really sucked, and I'm blessed to be rid of it.
The rose-colored glasses show nothing but illusion. The voice of the shrimpy guy behind the screen is being amplified and distorted to sound like the thundering and fearsome, omnipotent WIZARD OF OZ!
The brilliant "burning a candle at both ends" sure enough didn't last the night--and in point of fact, there was a flip side to the "lovely light" that caused far more torture than it was worth.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Sorry, Del--I stepped on your post.
The ebb and flow of temptation and vulnerability is very normal during the first year of sobriety--not to mention that you've been facing a life of unusual stress!
The severity and frequency of the temptations fade after a year or two. The thought of alcohol will cross your mind periodically--but it usually stay within the boundaries of meee thought and not flow into serious temptation.
The ebb and flow of temptation and vulnerability is very normal during the first year of sobriety--not to mention that you've been facing a life of unusual stress!
The severity and frequency of the temptations fade after a year or two. The thought of alcohol will cross your mind periodically--but it usually stay within the boundaries of meee thought and not flow into serious temptation.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Hey gang. Just have time for a quick hello and to say that I have missed y'all.
I will try to do some ketchup over the next day or so, however, I did notice a new contributor. Hello, opti...congrats on the 40!
Life has been quite busy and much more out of routine than usual. Outside of a 30 day plank challenge that ends tomorrow, I haven;t seen the gym since Thursday night. I am totally jonesing for a class. Catching one tomorrow as well as our grand plank finale, where we are all gqthering for the last 5 minutes of...hummm, hurting so good.
Be back to post tomorrow...worked 6 days in row and hitting a beach restaurant to spend a little take home pay. Next to lastly - all sober for me today...and, lastly - love to all the POST'ers.
Carlos
I will try to do some ketchup over the next day or so, however, I did notice a new contributor. Hello, opti...congrats on the 40!
Life has been quite busy and much more out of routine than usual. Outside of a 30 day plank challenge that ends tomorrow, I haven;t seen the gym since Thursday night. I am totally jonesing for a class. Catching one tomorrow as well as our grand plank finale, where we are all gqthering for the last 5 minutes of...hummm, hurting so good.
Be back to post tomorrow...worked 6 days in row and hitting a beach restaurant to spend a little take home pay. Next to lastly - all sober for me today...and, lastly - love to all the POST'ers.
Carlos
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