The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) #2
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
JL, I didn't know you were usmc. I honor your service. It sounds like you've spent much of your life trying to save and protect American lives, and I imagine recent hatefulness in our country hits you hard -- it's like, what are we? I think we're better than this. I can only hope.
I hope your depression lifts soon. I'll bet it has a lot to do with the news from the dr. and you & the kids' bug. Ill health is emotionally hard, too. What's the plan for treatment of your plaque & partial obstruction?
FBL, I'm glad you walked today!
I hope your depression lifts soon. I'll bet it has a lot to do with the news from the dr. and you & the kids' bug. Ill health is emotionally hard, too. What's the plan for treatment of your plaque & partial obstruction?
FBL, I'm glad you walked today!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
School is cranking along very well, SG, thanks for asking. I just finished Greek II on Wednesday and will be moving on to Greek Exegesis after a two week break. (Exegesis is a form of biblical interpretation in which you bring out the meaning from a passage).
In this class we will learn to appreciate the very deliberate ways that the books were crafted. At the end we'll have to write a research paper. Research papers are my favorite part of school, and I haven't done one since I started learning just the basic nuts and bolts of the language (about 6 months). I'm really looking forward to it at the end of this class!
In this class we will learn to appreciate the very deliberate ways that the books were crafted. At the end we'll have to write a research paper. Research papers are my favorite part of school, and I haven't done one since I started learning just the basic nuts and bolts of the language (about 6 months). I'm really looking forward to it at the end of this class!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
Thanks again Posties, for helping me get thru a down week. Since getting sober, my life has mostly been a very positive experience. I'm always on the go, so I hate it when something slows me down.
Have a great weekend, all!
Have a great weekend, all!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
The big change in my professional world is going remarkably well -- some tears and blame and I don't think I've ever spent as many hours on the phone "processing" things w/partners-soon-to-be-former-partners, but it's going. Complicated because it involves $, lots of people, emotions, & egos. It's basically like I & two others have sold our startup. Two of my partners are barely speaking, so they convey only the barest information to one another by email, and express their grief and rage to me. Ewwww ick.
How did I get to be in this position? It's pretty obvious to us all -- I have no emotional involvement with them or with the work. My attachment inhibitions sometimes come in handy.
I have to go purge some files. Wishing everyone a good, sober day!
PS Del -- what do you want to study?
How did I get to be in this position? It's pretty obvious to us all -- I have no emotional involvement with them or with the work. My attachment inhibitions sometimes come in handy.
I have to go purge some files. Wishing everyone a good, sober day!
PS Del -- what do you want to study?
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Cour, I'm glad you're there to be a sounding board for your two former partners, even though the vitriol makes you uneasy. I'm sure there's a lot of grief involved--and often where there's rage, there's pain at the root. Just by being there and holding the phone while they vent, you are helping them to process the pain.
And having been through recovery, you have developed skills for listening and knowing when to commiserate and discerning when the negativity is getting too much.
They will probably come away from their conversations with you feeling fully understood--and that in itself usually does people a world of good.
And having been through recovery, you have developed skills for listening and knowing when to commiserate and discerning when the negativity is getting too much.
They will probably come away from their conversations with you feeling fully understood--and that in itself usually does people a world of good.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Courage - It sounds like your job is intact. That's good!
SG - Change is a constant in my job too. I aim to be pleasant, predictable and supportive in a high paced environment.
Restraint of tongue is a challenge and when I blab something I shouldn't have, I try to remind myself that no one is perfect.
I have one or two confidantes. It helps me to "save my stories" for them: My last couple of days before the weekend I dealt with a potential miscarriage (turns out she wasn't pregnant), a potential bomb threat (I think the person who reported it wrote the message), and someone walking out prior to completing her 2 weeks notice because she was fed up.
Fbl - glad you're feeling better!
JL - Alcohol is a depressant and can create problems that weren't there before. It also covers up and blurs emotional states that people might not realize they are experiencing. I found for me that it took me time to heal and to feel fully motivated or upbeat.
Del - School will be here soon enough. What can you do today that's fulfilling - or a nice diversion?
I'm going to take a walk with the kids in a little while, then head out to dinner, then watch airplanes take off and land.
Have a good night everyone!
SG - Change is a constant in my job too. I aim to be pleasant, predictable and supportive in a high paced environment.
Restraint of tongue is a challenge and when I blab something I shouldn't have, I try to remind myself that no one is perfect.
I have one or two confidantes. It helps me to "save my stories" for them: My last couple of days before the weekend I dealt with a potential miscarriage (turns out she wasn't pregnant), a potential bomb threat (I think the person who reported it wrote the message), and someone walking out prior to completing her 2 weeks notice because she was fed up.
Fbl - glad you're feeling better!
JL - Alcohol is a depressant and can create problems that weren't there before. It also covers up and blurs emotional states that people might not realize they are experiencing. I found for me that it took me time to heal and to feel fully motivated or upbeat.
Del - School will be here soon enough. What can you do today that's fulfilling - or a nice diversion?
I'm going to take a walk with the kids in a little while, then head out to dinner, then watch airplanes take off and land.
Have a good night everyone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I've been playing the, write a bunch of long posts and scrap, game.
I just have this feeling like I've given up. I don't really know why. Or on what.
School: I am just looking at intro courses. Probably an English course... I am going to have to pluck off individual courses until I figure out work, schedules, financing, etc.
I look at arts and humanities, there seems about a 100 different ways I want to go. I don't know. I am sitting under a very broad umbrella right now of (im)possibilities.
And looking at my credit report makes me want to barf.
Trying to figure out how to make all this work out feels like looking at a sinking ship and trying to fix it and save it with a bit of scotch tape
I keep thinking bankruptcy will be a chance to start over... so I'll be 40 if I do this now by the time my bankruptcy would be discharged. My oldest will be an adult. My youngest a preteen. My son will be graduating.
My littlest keeps bringing up the farm. When I look at my credit report and see all of what we had and BLEW it just makes me sick.
I miss the farm, my kids, my family, feeling normal, before I threw the grenade on my life and blew that all up.
Regret of the past.
Fear of the future, upcoming court, what's waiting in the shadows.
Sitting in the eye of the storm. Deep soul unrest.
I am just depressed and in FIA mode. I have been stuck at home, with no adult interaction for way too long.
1 hour until I am all. Alone. For a whole day and night.
For the first time in a very long time.
*insert melodramatic music*
Omg, the angst.
Shrinking it all into proper perspective, I am alright. I am down in the dumps and it makes me feel ashamed when I think there is far worse going on in the world than what's going on in my head. My bills are paid, my kids are ok, I'm ok, the sun is shining. That's good enough for now, it's all I need. I am feeling ungrateful.
I just have this feeling like I've given up. I don't really know why. Or on what.
School: I am just looking at intro courses. Probably an English course... I am going to have to pluck off individual courses until I figure out work, schedules, financing, etc.
I look at arts and humanities, there seems about a 100 different ways I want to go. I don't know. I am sitting under a very broad umbrella right now of (im)possibilities.
And looking at my credit report makes me want to barf.
Trying to figure out how to make all this work out feels like looking at a sinking ship and trying to fix it and save it with a bit of scotch tape
I keep thinking bankruptcy will be a chance to start over... so I'll be 40 if I do this now by the time my bankruptcy would be discharged. My oldest will be an adult. My youngest a preteen. My son will be graduating. My littlest keeps bringing up the farm. When I look at my credit report and see all of what we had and BLEW it just makes me sick.
I miss the farm, my kids, my family, feeling normal, before I threw the grenade on my life and blew that all up.
Regret of the past.
Fear of the future, upcoming court, what's waiting in the shadows.
Sitting in the eye of the storm. Deep soul unrest.
I am just depressed and in FIA mode. I have been stuck at home, with no adult interaction for way too long.
1 hour until I am all. Alone. For a whole day and night.
For the first time in a very long time.
*insert melodramatic music*
Omg, the angst.
Shrinking it all into proper perspective, I am alright. I am down in the dumps and it makes me feel ashamed when I think there is far worse going on in the world than what's going on in my head. My bills are paid, my kids are ok, I'm ok, the sun is shining. That's good enough for now, it's all I need. I am feeling ungrateful.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
((((Del))))
I'm sorry. Do you have any one thing, however small, you can engage in that brings you cheap, unqualified joy? If you could laser in on one such activity, maybe the feeling of nebulous, overwhelming doom would be kept at bay for awhile.
I'm sorry. Do you have any one thing, however small, you can engage in that brings you cheap, unqualified joy? If you could laser in on one such activity, maybe the feeling of nebulous, overwhelming doom would be kept at bay for awhile.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
#1 Del. Don't drink tonight while you're all alone. Or do anything else self-destructive. I had a really hard time being on my own even briefly for a few years. Still sometimes. My main thing was to keep no cash in the house and wear pajamas and not brush my hair as long as it lasted -- the idea was it would be so much trouble to get ready to go out to buy liquor, I'd overcome the urge before I did it.
And stay on SR. Keep that green light lit! We're hear to cheer you!
And stay on SR. Keep that green light lit! We're hear to cheer you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I am either going to fix the xbox remote, go buy a new one, or just keep playing my games on my phone. lol
My sponsor says I should really get into service work. (I'm trying to remember the last time I got to a meeting... sometime in July?) Seems like a good thing.
I just have no desire to speak to anyone. I come here.. that's good. I text or play on my phone, whatever, that's good.
I am afraid of sitting in the silence of being alone and facing the pain of this last year and now fresh again this summer, I haven't had any time to process.
I'm afraid I will start crying and never stop.
I'm an ugly crier so can't have that.
SO, I think one drink and a casino jaunt wouldn't be so bad.
I know that's wrong.
So, netflix, games, podcasts, whatever. Just gonna hunker down, this'll pass.
My sponsor says I should really get into service work. (I'm trying to remember the last time I got to a meeting... sometime in July?) Seems like a good thing.
I just have no desire to speak to anyone. I come here.. that's good. I text or play on my phone, whatever, that's good.
I am afraid of sitting in the silence of being alone and facing the pain of this last year and now fresh again this summer, I haven't had any time to process.
I'm afraid I will start crying and never stop.
I'm an ugly crier so can't have that.
SO, I think one drink and a casino jaunt wouldn't be so bad.
I know that's wrong.
So, netflix, games, podcasts, whatever. Just gonna hunker down, this'll pass.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
That's what I do!! Haha, no makeup or shower and just stay and ground myself to home. I am dressed for the public today because I am sitting though, yeah it's always a flip between whether or not I am elated to have the world at my disposal when I'm on my own or I've got easy access to my vices because I'm alone and nooooo oooone would know.
When I'm excited for time off I go to meetings.
Haha, it's 4:20.
Not funny Dee.
Courage thanks I needed that! 
When I'm excited for time off I go to meetings.
Haha, it's 4:20.
Not funny Dee. Courage
thanks I needed that!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
https://youtu.be/qnydFmqHuVo
This is one of my most favourite youtube videos ever. I've watched it so many times. Makes me laugh so hard every time.
I can't figure out how to get the video player in the post.
Play the tape forward! Thanks. I think I am suffering selective amnesia, I forgot that one.
I must be turning into a man.
No offense mens. I joke.
This is one of my most favourite youtube videos ever. I've watched it so many times. Makes me laugh so hard every time.
I can't figure out how to get the video player in the post.
Play the tape forward! Thanks. I think I am suffering selective amnesia, I forgot that one.
I must be turning into a man.
No offense mens. I joke.
!
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