Class of April 2014 Part 31
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Yes.....stop Obo. Sounds like some risky things going on that could end so badly.
You are so much more than the worst thing you’ve ever done Obo. Sending thoughts of love & strength your way......
You are so much more than the worst thing you’ve ever done Obo. Sending thoughts of love & strength your way......
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Obo, have you any idea what triggered this relapse?
The new job?
You seem to sabotage your all your efforts at critical times.....
Try to focus on your game plan, just the next step, to get you back on track.
You can turn things around if you keep focused, Obo. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.
Stay safe.
The new job?
You seem to sabotage your all your efforts at critical times.....
Try to focus on your game plan, just the next step, to get you back on track.
You can turn things around if you keep focused, Obo. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.
Stay safe.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Obo- I hope you post again. I'm going to worry about you! We're not ourselves when we drink !
I'm so excited ! At my first hockey game! I've wanted to come to one for so long! My daughter is singing the anthem w her show choir and rest of fam is out of town for sons football so it's like a date w my sober self
Day 7!
I'm so excited ! At my first hockey game! I've wanted to come to one for so long! My daughter is singing the anthem w her show choir and rest of fam is out of town for sons football so it's like a date w my sober self
Day 7!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Sorry for that everyone......
A fraction manic, but I need to get the truth out immediately.
In fact that's a general snap shot of Obo's life when on the other side.
I guess in the end I'm just really unhappy with myself and trying to escape through getting wasted. There just isn't the space anymore to run with the devil. These days the issues that are involved appear in my life almost as soon as the booze takes hold.
Throwing the shovel away now. The hole is big enough.
In for the bargain.
A fraction manic, but I need to get the truth out immediately.
In fact that's a general snap shot of Obo's life when on the other side.
I guess in the end I'm just really unhappy with myself and trying to escape through getting wasted. There just isn't the space anymore to run with the devil. These days the issues that are involved appear in my life almost as soon as the booze takes hold.
Throwing the shovel away now. The hole is big enough.
In for the bargain.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,320
I'm just really unhappy with myself
For me I had to work on the not drinking first, then focus on the underlying unhappiness issues.
I couldn't have done it the other way around because drinking me was angry frustrated resentful...always a few bricks short of a full load.
D
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Made my evening to see you post Obo. I cried today in front of a really good friend, which I never do over some regrets I have & I know I will need to deal with that but right now it’s just a matter of me not drinking....don’t put anymore on yourself than that right now. Those early days are tough, tougher every time it seems but your here & that is huge.....I’m vowing not to lose a good life to the poison.
Are you reading other threads here Obo? Has helped me a lot when I’m feeling the desire. Glad you are here
Are you reading other threads here Obo? Has helped me a lot when I’m feeling the desire. Glad you are here
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Self acceptance has been the most important hurdle for me to overcome, but it really has changed everything.
I don't think we can be truly happy with ourselves until we have accepted ourselves fully. It's actually very liberating to allow ourselves to notice the imperfections, and accept them. We don't have to like them, we may decide to make some changes, but it comes from a place of non-judgement and acceptance.
We can't change all of our past conditioning just by wanting to, it takes time and crucially, it takes complete awareness.
It's a wonderful journey, for those of us brave enough to take the first few steps.
I don't think we can be truly happy with ourselves until we have accepted ourselves fully. It's actually very liberating to allow ourselves to notice the imperfections, and accept them. We don't have to like them, we may decide to make some changes, but it comes from a place of non-judgement and acceptance.
We can't change all of our past conditioning just by wanting to, it takes time and crucially, it takes complete awareness.
It's a wonderful journey, for those of us brave enough to take the first few steps.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
I've always had a hard time with acceptance. bit of an idealist, probably. but what you are saying is so so true.
looking forward to the day ahead. trying to make it fun and not just work. what's everyones plan for the remainder of the weekend?
I have lesson plans, laundry, hair cuts and jeans to buy for teens that won't stop growing. pretty quiet weekend.
so happy to be in for the bargain!
looking forward to the day ahead. trying to make it fun and not just work. what's everyones plan for the remainder of the weekend?
I have lesson plans, laundry, hair cuts and jeans to buy for teens that won't stop growing. pretty quiet weekend.
so happy to be in for the bargain!
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
So True Free & definitely something I’m working on. I’ve learned i feel things pretty deeply & worry way too much about what everyone thinks of me so self acceptance is key for me I’m sure to be content.
Pretty quiet weekend here too Izzy.......the first real cold day after a beautiful Fall, fireplace on, quiet out & just so nice to not be rushing out the door this am. Coffee with the cat. There’s more leaves to rake but not in a rush to get out there & do that. Have a good day all
Pretty quiet weekend here too Izzy.......the first real cold day after a beautiful Fall, fireplace on, quiet out & just so nice to not be rushing out the door this am. Coffee with the cat. There’s more leaves to rake but not in a rush to get out there & do that. Have a good day all
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
It's been quite productive here today, Izzy,
I've cleared out the greenhouse, and made space for the wormery, so the little chaps don't get too cold over the winter. I've cleaned the bird feeders, and I've harvested some wild flower seeds for the spring. This morning I sorted out some work stuff, and called my brother. Then this afternoon I've made some sweet corn and chickpea burgers for tea (Jamie Oliver recipe).
Now I'm going to run a hot bath and have a wallow.
Tomorrow I'll be seeing my dad, and we'll be going to a church service in remembrance for mum (and others in her parish that have passed away).
It's interesting to hear how we all spend our time at the weekend,
Hope everyone feels good about whatever they are doing
I've cleared out the greenhouse, and made space for the wormery, so the little chaps don't get too cold over the winter. I've cleaned the bird feeders, and I've harvested some wild flower seeds for the spring. This morning I sorted out some work stuff, and called my brother. Then this afternoon I've made some sweet corn and chickpea burgers for tea (Jamie Oliver recipe).
Now I'm going to run a hot bath and have a wallow.
Tomorrow I'll be seeing my dad, and we'll be going to a church service in remembrance for mum (and others in her parish that have passed away).
It's interesting to hear how we all spend our time at the weekend,
Hope everyone feels good about whatever they are doing
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
I will be thinking of you both tomorrow & so wonderful your being there for the both of them.
Yes, you were productive! What a nice day & hope you enjoyed your wallow Sounds like a good idea. I wasn’t too productive but was a nice day. I have been looking for an Armoir for the bonus room I rent out as it doesn’t have a closet so I’ve been keeping my eye out the last 3 years on craigslist & found one Thursday evening....usually don’t see the antique Armoires for less than 500. I bought this for 150. & exactly what I would have picked for the Room & the space. Anyway, I took a bucket of hot soapy Murphys oil wood soap & cleaned it really good then wiped down with oil. BEAUTIFUL score
Went to my Nieces housewarming party & saw some of the family. I made one of Grandmas dishes for potluck there. I isolate away from everyone when I drink & I know I’m missing out there too so was nice to go tonight. It’s getting cold, people already complaining about the weather & I am just going to enjoy it.
Yes, you were productive! What a nice day & hope you enjoyed your wallow
Sounds like a good idea. I wasn’t too productive but was a nice day. I have been looking for an Armoir for the bonus room I rent out as it doesn’t have a closet so I’ve been keeping my eye out the last 3 years on craigslist & found one Thursday evening....usually don’t see the antique Armoires for less than 500. I bought this for 150. & exactly what I would have picked for the Room & the space. Anyway, I took a bucket of hot soapy Murphys oil wood soap & cleaned it really good then wiped down with oil. BEAUTIFUL scoreWent to my Nieces housewarming party & saw some of the family. I made one of Grandmas dishes for potluck there. I isolate away from everyone when I drink & I know I’m missing out there too so was nice to go tonight. It’s getting cold, people already complaining about the weather & I am just going to enjoy it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
what a great find for the armoire! And I wouldn't have thought to use the Murphy's oil like that. I'm thinking some of my furniture could use some of that. I'm like you, I've been isolating for a long time. Having a job has been good for me cuz it gets me around people .
Father in law was here yesterday, taking my family shopping, out to eat, to movies .... so I had the whole day to myself. Don't remember the last time I had that kind of time just to think! Of course, there's all kinds of things I thought of ... need to exercise, eat better, get these kids on a better routine ...
Drinking "enabled" me to not make any real changes and just come home from work and keep working ... while taking a "break" at the same time. Insane, I know- but that was my autopilot for so long that it's overwhelming thinking about how to really make changes.
When I started to not remember the night before and had to refer to my email I sent my self the previous nite, I knew my little system def wasn't working anymore.
One of the many ways I know my elevator was just going down.
I did have a funny thought though. It was like a maid came and did everything for me! When I woke up, it was all done and I didn't remember doing it! sad, but funny.
happy to be sober, day 10.
. Father in law was here yesterday, taking my family shopping, out to eat, to movies .... so I had the whole day to myself. Don't remember the last time I had that kind of time just to think! Of course, there's all kinds of things I thought of ... need to exercise, eat better, get these kids on a better routine ...
Drinking "enabled" me to not make any real changes and just come home from work and keep working ... while taking a "break" at the same time. Insane, I know- but that was my autopilot for so long that it's overwhelming thinking about how to really make changes.
When I started to not remember the night before and had to refer to my email I sent my self the previous nite, I knew my little system def wasn't working anymore.
One of the many ways I know my elevator was just going down.
I did have a funny thought though. It was like a maid came and did everything for me! When I woke up, it was all done and I didn't remember doing it! sad, but funny.
happy to be sober, day 10.
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