Upward2Enlightenment

I don't think changing gun laws would help here free.
As I saw posted on Facebook
"Go ahead, make guns illegal. That worked so well with drugs." Or something along those lines.

freein14

Yes, I suppose it would be difficult to turn it around now.

(It would save everyone a lot of money and clutter though, one less thing to buy and one less thing to dust )

I'm trying to gather evidence for my work portfolio in prep for my interview on Wednesday. Unfortunately my printer has gone a bit haywire and will only print a couple of sheets before packing up completely. I was on such a roll too.

I have Saturday free, so hopefully I'll be able to get something together.

The weekend is back! I'm in for the Bargain!

freein14

Hope everyone's having a good weekend!

I've finished working on my portfolio, and I'm pretty ready for my interview on Wednesday. The only possible hiccup, is that I'm feeling like I might have a cold coming on. I might just be over tired, so I'll have an early night tonight and see what I'm like tomorrow.

I really want to be firing on all cylinders on Wednesday, but we'll see.

I hope everyone's healthy and happy today.

Upward2Enlightenment

Good luck Wednesday, free.

As for a good weekend, not so much.
It's just bad feelings. Going through stuff here and realizing that my step siblings know more about my dad's life and his past.
Guess there was some reason that I didn't deserve love. Parents, ex, kids ... the only one who really loved me was my grandfather who died when I was 8.

freein14

I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much emotional pain UP. I think that sometimes love is not shown in a way that we can recognise it. I know that sounds odd, but I firmly believe that the same love (or presence) is in us all, whether we choose to let it flow out or not. For some reason, some members of your family might have been guarded about showing it, but I'm certain it was there all the same.
The " love " that most human beings actually show, is not, in my opinion, very deep anyway. It tends to be conditional, which isn't really love at all. The most helpful practice I've found recently is to find the universal love within ourselves, and nurture that as a priority.
I hope this makes sense, my intention is to help and not hinder, so just ignore if you think it's gobbledygook!

I'll be seeing my dad today - I know that the love he shows me is definitely conditional - on turning up every week and cleaning his bathroom! I would like to be able to talk about important life questions, but I know that won't ever happen. I often listen to an Eckhart Tolle talk as I drive down there, to help get my head in the right space, so that I'm as cheery as possible when I get there. It can be difficult though.

I hope today is a better one for you UP.
take care.

Upward2Enlightenment

Just lost a long post.

Thank you for your support free. It does make sense.
It has been ingrained in me and reinforced by so many for so long I don't know any other way to think.

freein14

If only we could stop paying so much attention to thoughts of the past and future, life would be much more enjoyable!

I was very late home from work today so I didn't have time to cook much. Ended up with good old beans on toast. I've not been doing well on the nutrition front recently, or on the exercise front actually. Everything seems to have gone to pot while I've been preparing for this interview. I don't want to give them any excuse not to give me the job, I've covered all eventualities (I hope)

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well this week.

I'm having an early night tonight, see you tomorrow.

obosob

Hello All,

I'll just tip my hat and say hello to you all. Generally think about the fools everyday.

I tried my luck again with the bottle. Started socially after being given the nod at anger management ( I knew in my heart I shouldn't), had it under control, then a few problems at school, pushed all my buttons, progressed to jack and coke cans by myself, then a couple of stints at a bottle.....

In a rut again emotioanlly, no major fallout, aside from husband and daddy is dealing with the devil again......

I need to read all the posts and get back in the team!!!!!!

Hope you're all kicking goals, it's good to be back.....

Dee74

Welcome back Obo

D

freein14

Hi Obo, glad you've decided to get back on track quickly. There is a strong temptation to experiment with "social drinking" when you're feeling confident in sobriety . I noticed it myself, while I was away on holiday this year. I had planned for it because I knew that OH would be drinking (and he did...a lot!). I just concentrated on how I enjoyed my sobriety, and on feeling healthy and clear headed, and the thoughts passed relatively quickly. I do have a phase 2 in my plan, that involves eating chocolate, but only had to resort to that on few occasions. My phase 3 was "the Bargain", but we had no internet so I couldn't log in to SR anyway (luckily phase 3 wasn't needed).

Anyway, my point is that a having a plan is really helpful.

Btw, I don't ever think that I would have enjoyed my holiday more if I'd been able to drink. My thoughts are the opposite - I was able to be fully present during my holiday because I didn't drink, it's much more enjoyable sober.
The mind plays tricks on us, it truly is the gremlin.

Great to have you back Obo!

obosob

Thanks Dee.

Thanks Freein.

I hear you Freein, drinking would no doubt have ruined your holiday. At least in a spiritual sense. The lack of clarity and sense of happiness are why I'm back I guess. I already know that road well, and where it's going.

The mind certainly does play tricks....

freein14

How's your work going Obo?

I'm doing some last minute reading for my interview, then an early night. If I was on the interview panel I'd definitely employ me
I'm half scared and half excited!

MariahGayle

Best of luck on your interview Free.....your going to be fabulous!

freein14

Thank you so much Mariah! How lovely of you to have posted this morning. I'll post later and let you know how I did.

Hope all's well with you Mariah. Let us know if you need any help or support won't you?

Dee74

Best wishes from me too Freein

D

freein14

Thank you Dee!
I had the interview this morning - it was brutal.....I'm beginning to question whether I would actually give myself the job based on my responses. I 've not heard anything yet, they said they'd call me later this afternoon .

I'm feeling strangely queasy, it's quite extraordinary how the body reacts to surge of stress hormones.

I've been doing some paperwork to help distract me and calm my mind down, now that IS desperation! I would like to do some skipping, but I'm frightened I might not hear the phone.

freein14

Thank goodness for chocolate!

freein14

I had a call a while ago.....drum roll.......they've offered me the job!

I can't quite believe it, to be honest. All that work was worth it after all.



Hope everyone's week is going well.

obosob

Congratulations Freein!!!!!!!

great stuff!

Dee74

Yay thats really good news Freein - congratulations

D