SoberLeigh

Goodnight, Octsobers.

Sweet dreams.

See you tomorrow.

SoberLeigh

Have a fabulous day, Dee and PhoenixJ.

SoberLeigh

Love and Peace for all.

Special Healing for phoebe.

Arbor

Goodnight sweet, Leigh. I hope that you are feeling better.

Same for you too, Phoebe. Presumably you are home now. May you find some comfort tonight.

SoberLeigh

Thanks, Arbor; I am getting there

Nighty-night.

Briar

I hope you're doing well, Phoebe.

So today I was actually busy at work preparing trial exhibits. About halfway through, the printer jammed. This particular printer is massive. We call it The Coffin because that's exactly what it looks like. The paper rolls are too heavy for me to lift, so I freaked out and dragged the tech guy over. Once he finally got it printing a huge aerial map that used up a crap ton of ink and photo paper, we had this conversation:

Him: so what trial is this for?

Me: it's for the bla bla bla case.

Him: didn't that settle?

Me: no...what?

Him: yeah I heard on the radio that settled this morning.

Me: ...

Him: so I guess the attorney didn't tell you.

Me: ...

So I shoved everything in the recycle bin and went back to my desk to watch youtube videos.

I hope everyone is having a good night.

Dee74

damn catchy

D

Briar

Nice, Dee! We should have these folks come give us an office-wide training.

Arbor

Communication huge! Feel like every company has these issues to some degree.

Rainy day here...rare for this time of year. Glad the weekend is here!

Have a fabulous day everyone.

SoberLeigh

Oh dear . . . . Nothing like being left out the loop!!!!

SoberLeigh

Catchy, indeed. Thanks, Dee.

SoberLeigh

Yes!!!!!

SoberLeigh

Enjoy the rain, Arbor!!!!!

SoberLeigh

And congrats on another Milestone!!!!!

SoberLeigh

Hello, Octsobers.

Sending love, good thoughts.

SoberLeigh

Prayers continue for healing, phoebe.

Arbor

Thank you, Leigh.

Funny. You always remember when I forget. Peace to you my friend.

Briar

My brilliant therapy plan failed. I will be referred to a new therapist, and I can't see him anymore due to the way my insurance works. Pretend I've just spent a long paragraph explaining why my insurance won't cover my old therapist if I'm working with a new one. I can't get around it by paying out of pocket because he's part of my HMO, and the doctors don't have control over who they can see. Also, he's moving up in the ranks and is taking on more administrative duties and less clinical work, so soon he probably won't be seeing patients anymore. We will meet next week to sort out the details of the referral. This will be our last session.

I feel okay right now. Maybe it will sink in later. I've been through bigger changes. I will survive. But it's brutal to lose a therapist (hell, a human being) who you've been with for so long, who knows more about you than anyone else.

It has taken me a long time to understand how therapy is supposed to work, and for years I just saw him as a person I could openly talk to. I wasn't following any sort of treatment plan, I didn't even realize that was a thing. He was just a person to me. So while he's been my doctor this whole time, he has felt like my friend. In many ways, he has felt like the closest friend I've ever had.

It took a minute to grasp that I can't see him anymore because of something so impersonal as insurance, and there's no way around it. I cannot see him. Anywhere. Ever. This is bewildering for someone like me who struggles to understand relationships anyway. How is it that someone who feels so thoroughly like a friend is not actually a friend? I've always been aware of this theoretically, but what I know and what I feel are rarely in line with each other (which, incidentally, is exactly what my new treatment is aimed toward fixing).

So while I completely understand the situation and am not angry at anything, it's still a struggle. My brain gets it, but my heart doesn't understand how a bunch of technical rules about money can dictate whether I can sit with a person I like. We are just two human beings, a just couple of fancy monkeys, but this situation feels so cold and inhuman. I'm not blaming him. He's a really nice guy who I believe genuinely cares about me, it's just a sh*tty situation for a tender-hearted person like myself.

But I don't want to have a bad day over it. The future looks good. He's putting in a request for the Kaiser machine to crank out a referral to the right therapist for me based on some set of criteria that is, like, whatever it is. I'm lucky to have that. Many people, even very sick ones, can't get treatment at all, and some of them die. I have access to the right treatment at the right time. This is a good thing.

But it's completely heartbreaking.

Briar

Oh jeez. Whomever actually makes it to the end of that novel I just wrote gets a prize. Sorry!

Dee74

Hi Briar
I understand the feelings but the one thing I think you must not do, at any level, is take this personally.

I'm a big believer in, as one door closes, other will open.

Sometimes I end up exactly where I need to be, even when I didn't know that was where I needed to be

I'm not sure if its fate or my determination - or both - but I look back and I see that a lot of my crises and disappointments have actually be teachable moments.

You're a good person Briar and this whole changing therapists/insurance farnagle is no reflection on you or your inherent value

D