Dee74

Hey jo

Many of us have declared never again only to drink again later.

It doesn't mean you're doomed to failure - it means that you haven't quite hit on the right strategy yet to stay sober permanently, no matter how we feel or whats happening in our lives.

You've left the surface of Planet Addiction - now you need to find the escape velocity to leave it behind for good

I believe you'll do it

D

Simplicity4114

Love this analogy!

Simplicity4114

Morning Mayflies! Yesterday was busy busy and today doesn't look any more restful! Lots of grandbabies around as of late....they are just too cute and they make me want to be the best version of me....but I can tell I'm getting old cuz they wear me out! Slept like a rock!
Jo- I'm right there with ya....I get it. My brain is wired on or off with alcohol.....hence the, I'm definitely an alcoholic. But I am the best version of me when I'm not drinking....even if life is harder. I'm using Elke's theory, everyday was Day 1.

joandmelandhan

Sim we both seem to be mega busy at the minute. In one way it's great as it's an automatic deterred for me not to drink. I absolutely never do when my family are here. Back in the bad days it was the only time I was really sober. A bit like an enforced rehab in a way. Problem with that was I was always craving and moody when I saw them and so never really enjoyed family time like I should have. Best thing I can do now is be grateful for the company and the help with childcare and the little jump start it will give me in my sobriety. I'll be about 18 days in by the time everyone goes and I'll be ready to decide on a mini plan for the rest of the summer. That sounds doable.
Still mulling over why I drank. Not in a totally negative way but trying to work out why that day was any different to any other. Yes the situation with my boyfriend was really difficult (us being apart) but I had coped for 6 days of that. I think I need to be more realistic about life in general. Things won't be cozy and steady just for me. A difficult situation isn't an excuse to drink. It simply doesn't help. I saw very clearly the difference between waking up sober and free and waking up feeling rough as dog poo and feeling unable to do anything worthwhile. I am pleased however that the old AV isn't chipping in about how I "got away with it" . I simply dont entertain that kind of thinking. Truth is I messed up and I'm genuinely very relieved it didn't go on any longer. I dont like getting drunk. I dont like being hungover. I dont like wasting my time to that poison. I dont like feeling bad about myself.
So maybe I've learned something or at least confirmed what I thought I knew.
Off for a couple of days to the seaside with my parents and the girls. Should be a nice little break (yes another one!) and plenty of memories to be made.....
Lots of love to you all ❤❤❤

Elke516

Hovering above Planet Alcohol... no touch down please,... you're all doing great, the weekend is near

joandmelandhan

Hi Elke! Have a lovely weekend sweetie ❤❤❤

Simplicity4114

Have a great weekend everyone! Seaside sounds just like where I want to be! Enjoy JO!

joandmelandhan

Thank you Sim darling. I hope you get some time for yourself this weekend. Oma deserves a little rest too ❤❤❤

Elke516

Ahhhh weekend, wonderful, although our weather is more like autumn. We have a mini digger here this weekend to clear quite a lot of building rubbish and stuff. Should be fun, I hope.

Wishing you all a good and sober weekend.

Elke516

test

Dee74

you too Elke - and Sim Jo and anyone lurking

D

Arpeggioh

It's Saturday, I'm still sober.

That no longer fills my heart with joy and optimism!

I have no intention of changing that status; just feeling...thoughtful; restless; lethargic; isolated; hungry; anxious...I'm glad they don't use the acronym TRLIHA as a warning sign...

So, with nothing positive or cheerful to say today, I'll just check in, update my status, and wish all my Mayflies a good and sober weekend. My goal for today is to voluntarily leave my house on my day off, and drive out to my father's garden to harvest some cucumbers. And maybe some beets! There will also probably be a nap in my future...

Weirdly,
Arp

Elke516

Hey Arp, I'm very similar... suffering from TRLIHA, sometimes more, sometimes less. At the moment I'm also feeling a lot of aggression, I think it's got to do with my sugar intake, so I'll work on that this week. Did you manage to get out of the house and get the veg from you Dad?

The building rubble is all gone and it's starting to look tidy. Hasn't been like this for 4 years so I'm chuffed to bits.

Wishing you all a sober Sunday, we're going to have a wet afternoon here....

Arpeggioh

Yeah, sugar...holy hell, the sugar! And the coffee, and the cigarettes...endless slurping and puffing, occupying all my spare time. I guess that free pass, "at least I'm not drinking!" is wearing off. It gave me license to indulge in every other bad habit I've ever had, and that's where my general malaise is coming from lately. Like I told my doctor, there's other ways to kill yourself without drinking yourself to death! So...

...small steps this week; something, anything, I can call productive or vaguely healthy. I did raid my dad's garden yesterday, and it's the perfect time of year here to add some fruit and veg to my diet. I need to walk someplace farther than my refrigerator, my coffeemaker, and my bed. At least once!

Wellbutrin in my system at full strength for 9 days. It has improved my outlook (despite how I sound here), and it's already affected my smoking: I hate it a lot harder. It hasn't slowed down my frequency, just my irritation and hatred of the disgusting habit. Which can too easily morph into hatred of my weak, addicted self. There now, see how much better I feel?!! Jeezus...

I'm sorry to whine here about cigarettes and ice cream, I really am; I know others are battling much bigger dragons right now; obviously, we've all got our stuff! But I like sharing with this small group, because I consider you all actual friends, as much as is possible in an online forum. I read for hours in Newcomers, but save my real posting for this thread that feels like home. And I know you won't mind if I ramble off occasionally...



Hey, let's not drink today! Love and junk,
Arp

Elke516

I'm with you on the small steps, you can do it Arp. For me this week it's getting a bit more sleep, lights off before midnight...and turning the aggression into positive energy.

and Arp... please keep rambling on...

joandmelandhan

Hey Arp ramble away dear. It's lovely to just "chat" away about how we're getting on in general too. You too Elke. I'd hate you guys to feel you weren't "bad enough" to need support and a chat too.
Arp the thought process of "well at least it's not booze so I don't care" has been my mantra for a while now. Problem there is I guess we all would like to improve our overall health too. The great thing is that you are looking at other areas which shows that you have reached a new level in your battle with the bottle. Baby steps I'd say in a way. If you're like me (and I suspect you are) setting yourself up with unrealistic goals is a little risky.
On that note I bought one of those vaping machine things yesterday. I put smoking in my sobertime app and it's just pinged at me that I've not smoked for 1 day! Let's not get carried away here I'm using 12% nicotine liquid so it's not exactly quitting is it? Oh well, I'll keep at it and see what happens.
Hey Sim how are you? We got a week sober on Saturday!!!! Although I feel I'm cheating being under the close gaze of mother dearest. God never happy am I!
Take care all and pop back for a chat any time....love this place

tootiesdad

Hey all, here it is Monday morning. I'm laying in bed with 'that feeling' again.
My wife went out of town on Thursday, and I have been drunk every night since. Ironically on what was my six months of sobriety. I have no words for how low I am feeling right now. Horrible horrible feeling. When my wife is here I have no problem not drinking… But it's a different story when I'm by myself. I haven't figured out how to be so when I am alone. Again, just a horrible feeling… I wish I could take back the past couple days back and redo them.

Arpeggioh

Dude: you came back here! To me, that is epic...even though, right now, you may not feel that way. It's a huge indication that you're not giving up, which was always my response to a drinking episode.

I totally get the 'empty house' trigger, even though I live alone; mine is the 'unexpected day off work' trigger...my first thought is always "I could get drunk!" I have to immediately recognize the danger...

I'm glad you posted, and I'm sorry you're feeling the way you're feeling, and I hope you'll hang out here more often; as I said above, I feel like we've got friends here...

joandmelandhan

Hi tootiesdad I'm so please you've checked in so soon. You're here now and that counts for a lot. A slip/lapse/relapse or whatever we choose to call it can spiral out of control and before we know it we're in that horrible place we never want to go back to. I hope you are able to take a little time to look after yourself and get some strength back before you need to do too much work wise.
I don't know honestly if I'd manage alone. I don't think it's a co-incidence my slip occurred during my temporary split with my other half. That being said at least you know your biggest risky time and can perhaps put something in place next time she goes away. But for now my friend I wish you a peaceful few days recovering and taking care of yourself xxx

tootiesdad

Thanks Arp and Jo - your words mean a lot...I appreciate that...