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Class of May 2016 Support Thread Part 10

Old 07-23-2017, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by joandmelandhan View Post
Good God Sim what an absolute nightmare! Getting to bed sober last night after all of that is an absolutely heroic effort!!!!!!
Today is a new day and I'm not letting that rat bag ruin it for me. I've got a week off work so it's big clean day today so that we can go away for a few days tomorrow. That was the plan before so it will still happen.......I'll make sure of it.
Have a lovely day all......a nice peaceful one would be good wouldn't It? ❤❤❤
Have a good break Jo xx
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Old 07-23-2017, 01:30 PM
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Hey Sim, for not drinking. I hope you'll have a peaceful evening.

Wishing everyone a good and sober week!
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Old 07-23-2017, 01:30 PM
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Thanks Elke. Although I don't think the weather is going to be that great! Thinking about a couple of nights in York. Somewhere which has a pool in case it's peeing down all week!
It's been a strange day. No contact from rat bag at all. He's quite immature when it comes to issues so I'm not surprised. I still can't believe it. After all we've been through and he throws it all away because he was "bored" ???????
Anyhoo......in bed now. My eldest is making me watch Love Island! Utter trash but it's nice having her snuggled next to me!
Night night all
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Old 07-23-2017, 01:52 PM
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Good night Jo, have a lovely time in York. I hope the sun will shine for you and the girls.

Tough times for you sweetheart, I don't know him but i still want to do this You're such a lovely lady, you'll find someone new to make a fresh start. I've heard Yorkshire men are quite sexy..... ooops only joking Jo....
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Old 07-23-2017, 01:57 PM
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-272-a-25.html

Check this out.....
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Old 07-23-2017, 02:08 PM
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(((Elke))) night night xxx
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Old 07-24-2017, 02:32 AM
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Good morning all. Feeling a bit down and sad this morning. I can't believe I've not had any contact at all from him. I've never been in this situation before and it's awful. The controller in me is going bat crazy coz there's absolutely nothing I can do. I may never get the answers I need from him. I may never find out exactly what he did or didn't get up to. That's tough! I mean goddamnit I deserve a bit of closure at least don't I? All I have so far is that he was bored....."BORED!!!!!!!!"
Sorry guys but this is getting to me. Won't drink though. No chance!
Praying for a calm day. Love you guys xxxx
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Old 07-24-2017, 03:14 AM
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It is hard and it's a process, but I really can't recommend letting go of outcomes highly enough Jo...

there's a lot of peace and tranquility in that.

D
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Old 07-24-2017, 03:38 AM
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I will try Dee. I know these feelings I have now aren't doing me much good. It's praying on all of the personality traits I hate about myself. Ego, jealousy, anger, fear...... bit of work required I think......
But on the positive side I feel like I'm still "doing" recovery. Yes it's a little crisis management right now but I did dig into my toolkit and it helped. I'm so very grateful to have my sober days and my girls and you guys. I can only shudder to think about what would have happened 96 days ago......doesn't bear thinking about.
Love you guys xxx
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Old 07-24-2017, 08:17 AM
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God this is tough. I hate having to pretend I'm okay if I'm not. The scared little girl in me wants to say sorry please come back I need you. Not doing that is so hard right now....a little like trying not to take the first drink. Now I'm questioning myself. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe it was nothing. I just can't bear the idea that the man who so kindly stayed by my side through the last 3 months has been out "there" in the seedy world of online group whatever. And no sign of any effort to say sorry even. This is too hard.......xxx
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Old 07-24-2017, 01:59 PM
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Hang tough Jo! Your post sounds similar to how my daughter-in-law is feeling right about now in her quest for truth and it sucks I keep reminding her to not "listen" so much to what my son is saying and pay deep close attention to what he is doing. Actions speak louder than words. I never got a straight answer from my ex and I never knew if he was telling me the truth even when bothered to respond to my demands for an answer. It's a hellish way to live trying to find security in another person.....
Praying for you to find peace and the patience to let this play out. You've done nothing wrong.....so this one's on him.
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Old 07-24-2017, 02:20 PM
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I hope you're ok Jo.... when my ex left I used to go for walks, talking out load to myself, it all came out and I felt better afterwards, at least for a little while. He stayed away for a week without a word, then came back to get some stuff and said he needs a break to see if he still loves me. He wanted to leave some of his stuff for 'when he's here' and alarm bells started ringing as in oh I'm good enough to wash his dirty underwear' so I said a break is a break and that was it. After that he treated me like I had the plaque. It was painful and I kept on walking around the block very evening. Sim is right, this is on him, you haven't done anything wrong. Take some 'me' time with your girls. You deserve it sweetheart. Sending you ((((big hugs))))
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Old 07-24-2017, 02:29 PM
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Hi Sim, thinking of you lovely lady. How are you going today? You must have your hands full looking after everyone, please look after yourself too hun
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Old 07-24-2017, 03:01 PM
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There's obviously a problem there Jo - ignoring it and going back to 'normal' may make you feel better now but in the long run...?

Think about it before you make any moves.

D
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Old 07-24-2017, 03:14 PM
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Thanks for the posts guys and thank you Elke and Sim for sharing your own stories. I'm not ready to say or do anything with regard to you-know-who. My girls and my sobriety come first. It has to be that way. We are going away in the morning for a couple of nights I think the break will do us all good.
I don't feel at all comfortable with this situation. It's too......oh I don't know.......too much drama. I like security and feeling safe. Know what I mean?
Better try some sleep. We've an early start tomorrow!
Sim I hope you're getting stronger sweetheart. Such a difficult environment to be in when getting back on track. We could do with running away to a nice calm yoga retreat for a month! Sounds lush eh?
Night night ❤❤❤
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Old 07-25-2017, 12:39 AM
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just to let you know - taking a little break- no problems, just a break.
be back in a few days

D
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Old 07-25-2017, 12:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
just to let you know - taking a little break- no problems, just a break.
be back in a few days

D
Have a lovely few days Dee xxx
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Old 07-25-2017, 10:06 AM
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He's going to mine tomorrow to collect more of his things while I'm away. I'm feeling worse and worse each day. I didn't realise how heartbroken I was but now it's very raw and it hurts. I sneak to the loo for a cry by myself. The girls aren't really concerned we've had spats before but this is different. I don't know what to do with these awful feelings. Sorry for the moan bit I literally have no one to talk to.
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Old 07-25-2017, 02:05 PM
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(((Jo))) we're here for you, please post anything, absolutely anything you want to say and talk about. Pour darling... try to have a nice time and get a little break from it, who knows you both might be able to talk about what happened and get some clarity in a little while. Take care ok and keep posting X
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Old 07-26-2017, 02:34 AM
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As a chronically single older gay man, I have little advice to offer in your current boy crisis, dear Jo...other than to remind all the ladies here that men, at their most basic, operate on three levels: two eyes and a penis. Any thoughts outside of that circuit are peripheral, and usually fleeting.

Or, as you used to say on the school playground, "Boys are stupid." As a former boy, I wholeheartedly agree.

Carry on, Mayflies! Let's not drink today!
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