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One Year and Under Club Part 59

Old 07-02-2017, 08:42 PM
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Fingers crossed for Lulu, Barbs.
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:44 PM
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I hope things work out for the best for Lulu Barbs.

Welcome back. I'm glad you had a good time in the Smokies. Going to a distillery must have been quite the challenge. I still don't think that I would be up for that tour even today.

Best wishes for a great day all!
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Old 07-03-2017, 03:33 AM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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(((Barbs))) (((Lulu)))
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Old 07-03-2017, 05:58 AM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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Welcome back Barbs. Good job on handling the distillery visit. I am taking my wife to Napa Valley in October and expect a similar battle with my AV!
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Old 07-03-2017, 02:19 PM
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Got just about the worst news we could get on Lulu. She has bladder cancer and they can not operate. We were sent home with 5 different meds to keep her comfortable. Some may help shrink the tumor some but it is an aggressive cancer
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Old 07-03-2017, 02:42 PM
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Barbs- Sorry to hear that about Lulu.
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Old 07-03-2017, 04:39 PM
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Oh, no, Barbs!
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Old 07-03-2017, 05:20 PM
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Barbs I am so sorry to hear your sad news.
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Old 07-03-2017, 05:24 PM
  # 69 (permalink)  
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Hi folks.

I must be making some progress. I did some physical work outside today and when I was done I thought "I deserve a reward. A nice cold drink". And the accompanying picture in my mind while I thought this was a cold can of Sprite

Have a good one all.
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Old 07-03-2017, 09:25 PM
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I'm really sorry Barbs
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Old 07-04-2017, 04:20 AM
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Sorry to hear that Barbs. I guess the best possible way to look at it is that you have a chance to adjust to the thought of losing her, though there is no real preparation. I hope she doesn't suffer.

Helen, that is indeed progress!
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Old 07-04-2017, 06:22 AM
  # 72 (permalink)  
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So sorry to hear that Barbs. Hugs.
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Old 07-06-2017, 12:40 PM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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Hi all! Just a flyby to check in and see what is up with all of you! Doing well here, one day at a time. Still sober and still working with the nuts in my condo buildings.

Love to the Undies!

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Old 07-06-2017, 07:06 PM
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Hey everybody, I'm on day 111 and made a therapist appt. for next week which is another of the many positives since I quit. AV pipes in regularly, but playing the tape forward really helps keep me on track. I don't feel I've fully accepted that I can never drink again. I'm not planning too, but I read all the time how important it is to surrender. I am committed, read here everyday and add to my plan. Getting and staying sober ain't easy, we should be proud!

Barbs, I am very sorry as well.
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Old 07-06-2017, 10:31 PM
  # 75 (permalink)  
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Hi Drake!

Glad you are doing well!
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Old 07-07-2017, 01:42 AM
  # 76 (permalink)  
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Great to see you Drake, glad you are doing well my friend.

JC, for some the thought of that final commitment is just too much to contemplate. It took me years of internalising my drinking issues before I even reached out here, and then I was just on line looking for ways to drink in moderation! Yup, I didn't want to actually stop drinking ( heaven forbid!) just wanted to 'manage' it. Okay, it didn't take too long for the posts here to work their way through my thick skull. And like you, initially I could not see me ever 'not' drinking again at some point.
I guess we all read something here at some point that seems to resonate so deeply that it stays with you, become a part of your psyche. For me it was a post Dee wrote to someone in my class March 13. When he said he needed to 'take drink off the table', remove it as a possible option ever. I realised I had been fooling myself to believe that I would ever at any point in my future be able to drink without it being detrimental to my life, health and happiness. So to go forward into my future with my eyes open, I had to accept that for me personally, alcohol is not and never can be a part of my life.
It's impossible to fully describe the feeling of relief, of freedom when I let go that tether. Suddenly I was not marking time, or considering some possible future time when things would get back to 'normal' . This, my life now, that was my normal, and this, now this is the normal I have begun learning to live. I no longer feel conflicted or constricted, I have a life that is there for the making. It merely doesn't include alcohol. Meh, so what? There are thousands of people just here on SR who are solid proof of life after drink, of a good life, of a happy life, of a real life. A live lived, not hidden from. A life felt to the full, good and bad, up and down, happy and sad. A life where we accept our failings and short comings, accept responsibility for our actions. A life where we can feel real joy, not the kind that is chemically induced or enhanced. Watching my grandson play soccer and not flicking my eyes to my watch to see how long it will be to my drink, rather, enjoying to the full these few brief years when I don't totally embarrass him by existing!
Making the changes necessary to enter recovery, to accept full sobriety is hard. Probably the toughest thing an addict will ever do in their life. Because it is not just the action itself not just cleansing our body and mind. It is confronting our past, it is adjusting our present. It is accepting, freely, our future.
Nothing worth having comes easy. At least here, everyone has the unconditional support of other who have been there or are going through it or are facing the difficult decision to attempt recovery.
I am proud and grateful every day to be a part of the body of SR. Being here, being a part of this world saved me.
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Old 07-07-2017, 04:05 AM
  # 77 (permalink)  
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Great post toots. Thank you!
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Old 07-07-2017, 06:29 AM
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What a wonderful and insightful response toots, thank you so much. I'm definitely not set on bringing alcohol back into my life at some point and trying to moderate, so I guess that's progress. I just need to accept FOREVER.
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Old 07-07-2017, 05:52 PM
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Well, we had hoped the meds would give us a little more time with Lulu but on Wednesday morning she let us know it was time. My migraine is just starting to lift from the stress of it all.

Hubby is away this weekend at another motocross race. I just wasn't up to going. Hoping to have a peaceful weekend alone.

Hope everyone also has a beautiful, peaceful weekend.
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Old 07-07-2017, 08:40 PM
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My deepest condolences Barb.
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