One Year and Under Club Part 59
every time you play the tape forward and have victory you get stronger. Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,901
I almost slipped yesterday....on my way to this hotel I'm staying at, I was so ready to drink. I couldn't wait to get here and hit the bar. It must've been divine intervention because I got lost for 2 hours looking for the place, then discovered there's no bar here. There's a gym, though......Ok, I get it.....someone's trying to tell me something.....
Still sober, thank goodness ~ approaching 4 months if I make it to July 9, fingers crossed! It's all thanks to everyone here on SR
Still sober, thank goodness ~ approaching 4 months if I make it to July 9, fingers crossed! It's all thanks to everyone here on SR
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Purpl, what was your trigger? And is there anything else you need to be doing just now to ensure you are not in a position for AV to tempt you when your resistance is down?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,901
Good questions, Toots....I normally work 7 days a week just to keep myself out of trouble - so this was my first "vacation" where in the past I would shift into party mode. Yes, there is plenty more I could be doing to work on recovery instead of just being sober. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
Hi all,
Haven't posted for ages, so I'll need to have a catch up with all your news - hope everyone is doing well.
I'm still sober (10 months today!) but in a bit of a strange place with it... Being pregnant is making it very easy not to drink, but it's increasingly becoming my REASON for not drinking, with all of the problems that led me to this forum 10 months ago kind of fading into the background. The pregnancy has 'normalised' my not-drinking and made it more difficult to hang onto the idea that I have a problem. I have to actively keep reminding myself that I'm not an average drinker who is stopping while pregnant, but someone who has stopped because she has an ISSUE with drink - and also just happens to be pregnant.
I'm noticing this in friends' attitudes too - having done the really tough thing of telling them that I needed to stop drinking because I was drinking too much, now they know I'm pregnant, they assume I stopped drinking to prepare for a healthy conception - and lots of people are asking if I'll be drinking again after the baby arrives. I keep pointing out that I stopped last summer - long before being pregnant - but it's not really sinking in. It's like I'm just a "normal" pregnant woman doing her 9 months, waiting to celebrate with a glass of champagne.
I'd started to feel the AV creeping in over the past few weeks - I talked to my husband about it, and saying out loud that I was having thoughts about maybe drinking again "at some point" was a helpful way to at least turn down the volume on my AV - although it didn't shut it off completely. But last night, what should've been a really special evening was completely ruined by alcohol - not my drinking, but that of other people! - and that has reinforced my desire to remain sober.
To cut a long story short, I met up with a very good friend and told her about the pregnancy - telling her was lovely, she's someone who I know really cares about me and she was thrilled for me. We had a really good chat. Then some other friends turned up and the drinking started... We were going to a concert and having dinner beforehand - by the time we'd finished dinner, they'd got through 3 bottles of wine and two rounds of cocktails between the three of them - then more booze on the short journey to the concert venue, then beer and wine at the concert itself...
We ended up getting separated and I was left with the most drunk member of the group, who was so wasted for the last hour of the concert, she could barely stand up and was really irritating the people sitting around us by trying to have extremely loud and personal heart-to-hearts with me instead of listening to the music. It was all very well meant and she was saying lovely things (even if they were the same things over and over again) - but it was very embarrassing. The couple sitting next to us eventually cracked and had a go at us, and I don't blame them - I was equally frustrated that I didn't get to listen to the last half of the gig!
I was then stuck with getting her home - supporting her weight as she swayed around in the crowd exiting the gig and going to the wrong end of town to make sure she got on her train home - which meant I wasn't home until well after midnight. What should have been a really special evening (and was great to start with) was wrecked by alcohol.
When I told my husband about it, his response was that I have been that person so many times and he has had multiple evenings ruined by battling to get me home safely. That made me feel so ashamed and really brought home what the reality of drinking so often means for me.
I guess it came at the right time - my AV was telling me more and more that a glass of wine every now and then would be a nice civilised treat after the baby is born... There's nothing nice about it. I wish alcohol would just disappear!
Anyway - apologies for the lengthy post. Making up for my long silence! Hope you're all doing well and looking forward to a good weekend.
x
Haven't posted for ages, so I'll need to have a catch up with all your news - hope everyone is doing well.
I'm still sober (10 months today!) but in a bit of a strange place with it... Being pregnant is making it very easy not to drink, but it's increasingly becoming my REASON for not drinking, with all of the problems that led me to this forum 10 months ago kind of fading into the background. The pregnancy has 'normalised' my not-drinking and made it more difficult to hang onto the idea that I have a problem. I have to actively keep reminding myself that I'm not an average drinker who is stopping while pregnant, but someone who has stopped because she has an ISSUE with drink - and also just happens to be pregnant.
I'm noticing this in friends' attitudes too - having done the really tough thing of telling them that I needed to stop drinking because I was drinking too much, now they know I'm pregnant, they assume I stopped drinking to prepare for a healthy conception - and lots of people are asking if I'll be drinking again after the baby arrives. I keep pointing out that I stopped last summer - long before being pregnant - but it's not really sinking in. It's like I'm just a "normal" pregnant woman doing her 9 months, waiting to celebrate with a glass of champagne.
I'd started to feel the AV creeping in over the past few weeks - I talked to my husband about it, and saying out loud that I was having thoughts about maybe drinking again "at some point" was a helpful way to at least turn down the volume on my AV - although it didn't shut it off completely. But last night, what should've been a really special evening was completely ruined by alcohol - not my drinking, but that of other people! - and that has reinforced my desire to remain sober.
To cut a long story short, I met up with a very good friend and told her about the pregnancy - telling her was lovely, she's someone who I know really cares about me and she was thrilled for me. We had a really good chat. Then some other friends turned up and the drinking started... We were going to a concert and having dinner beforehand - by the time we'd finished dinner, they'd got through 3 bottles of wine and two rounds of cocktails between the three of them - then more booze on the short journey to the concert venue, then beer and wine at the concert itself...
We ended up getting separated and I was left with the most drunk member of the group, who was so wasted for the last hour of the concert, she could barely stand up and was really irritating the people sitting around us by trying to have extremely loud and personal heart-to-hearts with me instead of listening to the music. It was all very well meant and she was saying lovely things (even if they were the same things over and over again) - but it was very embarrassing. The couple sitting next to us eventually cracked and had a go at us, and I don't blame them - I was equally frustrated that I didn't get to listen to the last half of the gig!
I was then stuck with getting her home - supporting her weight as she swayed around in the crowd exiting the gig and going to the wrong end of town to make sure she got on her train home - which meant I wasn't home until well after midnight. What should have been a really special evening (and was great to start with) was wrecked by alcohol.
When I told my husband about it, his response was that I have been that person so many times and he has had multiple evenings ruined by battling to get me home safely. That made me feel so ashamed and really brought home what the reality of drinking so often means for me.
I guess it came at the right time - my AV was telling me more and more that a glass of wine every now and then would be a nice civilised treat after the baby is born... There's nothing nice about it. I wish alcohol would just disappear!
Anyway - apologies for the lengthy post. Making up for my long silence! Hope you're all doing well and looking forward to a good weekend.
x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,901
Hey SSOH 
Thanks for your post! And congrats on 10 months - and for your little one on the way!
I can't even count how many times I've been that person at a concert.....and at many other places too. I've been struggling with the whole "forever" thing as well......Let's stick close to SR!
Thanks for your post! And congrats on 10 months - and for your little one on the way!I can't even count how many times I've been that person at a concert.....and at many other places too. I've been struggling with the whole "forever" thing as well......Let's stick close to SR!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Congrats on 10 months SSOH.
I think it's great you're so self aware.
Be sure to remind that AV regularly that your being pregnant is not why you stopped drinking and that you intend to stay a non drinker...forever.
That will rile it up
D
I think it's great you're so self aware.
Be sure to remind that AV regularly that your being pregnant is not why you stopped drinking and that you intend to stay a non drinker...forever.
That will rile it up
D
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Great post SSOH, it would be a really good idea to print off a copy of it and keep it close.
Purp, not drinking is a lot easier when we keep ourselves too busy to have time to, but we also do need to find ways to enjoy our down time alcohol free. I know I spent a lot of my first vacay internalising my resentment at not being able to do my usual ( 'sample' every kind of local alcohol as frequently and deeply as possible!) and yes I know I had to rely on hubby a time or several to steer me home. I used to get annoyed at how grumpy he would be the next day. For goodness sake, I was only enjoying myself! Er not, I was being a Royal PIA and spoiling his enjoyment. Now I get to enjoy myself sober... And truly, I really can enjoy myself without a drink these days and no longer have a passing thought of what it would be like if I could. Oh, I don't mean AV has completely given up on me, usually it tries to blindside me at unexpected times. But special occasions, I guess I am forearmed, so it knows it is outgunned!
Be proud of every small step forward guys, it may sometimes seem like you spend a lot of time wrestling AV the size of a gator, but eventually, it is no more than an annoying gnat. I promise
Purp, not drinking is a lot easier when we keep ourselves too busy to have time to, but we also do need to find ways to enjoy our down time alcohol free. I know I spent a lot of my first vacay internalising my resentment at not being able to do my usual ( 'sample' every kind of local alcohol as frequently and deeply as possible!) and yes I know I had to rely on hubby a time or several to steer me home. I used to get annoyed at how grumpy he would be the next day. For goodness sake, I was only enjoying myself! Er not, I was being a Royal PIA and spoiling his enjoyment. Now I get to enjoy myself sober... And truly, I really can enjoy myself without a drink these days and no longer have a passing thought of what it would be like if I could. Oh, I don't mean AV has completely given up on me, usually it tries to blindside me at unexpected times. But special occasions, I guess I am forearmed, so it knows it is outgunned!
Be proud of every small step forward guys, it may sometimes seem like you spend a lot of time wrestling AV the size of a gator, but eventually, it is no more than an annoying gnat. I promise
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,176
Great to hear that you are doing well SSOH and it is wonderful that you realize that your AV is lurking behind your pregnancy screen and waiting to pounce. Knowledge is indeed power!
Ppl, your post about being ready to hit the bar is somewhat disconcerting. It almost sounds as though you felt drinking was inevitable. My first vacation sober was about three months in and we rent the same vacation house each year. In my mind, it was the party house, with a decade of no holds barred drinking history there. I found it extremely challenging that week, as even the normies in my life kicked back and drank more liberally there. I went out on long walks jamming to music until the urges passed. I admit if someone had handed me a drink, I probably would have gulped it down at several points during that vacation. For me, vacation=drinking. It has taken me a while to break that thought train and learn to enjoy myself without imbibing.
Remember, drinking is never inevitable. YOU have to make that choice to take that first drink. As Toots said, the AV is huge at your stage now, but it will become far less so with time. After four months, I don't remember being hit with overwhelming urges any longer.
I was at a concert last weekend with 25,000 people partying hard in the lot before the show. I had absolutely zero urge to drink anything but my water. I am even getting to the point where I no longer pay attention to what others are drinking, or how quickly. It's really a huge relief. I am happy being me and doing my own thing, and my friends could care less. I am just the friend whom doesn't drink anymore and is usually the designated driver.
Hang in there everyone. It does get easier and life will continue to get better!
Ppl, your post about being ready to hit the bar is somewhat disconcerting. It almost sounds as though you felt drinking was inevitable. My first vacation sober was about three months in and we rent the same vacation house each year. In my mind, it was the party house, with a decade of no holds barred drinking history there. I found it extremely challenging that week, as even the normies in my life kicked back and drank more liberally there. I went out on long walks jamming to music until the urges passed. I admit if someone had handed me a drink, I probably would have gulped it down at several points during that vacation. For me, vacation=drinking. It has taken me a while to break that thought train and learn to enjoy myself without imbibing.
Remember, drinking is never inevitable. YOU have to make that choice to take that first drink. As Toots said, the AV is huge at your stage now, but it will become far less so with time. After four months, I don't remember being hit with overwhelming urges any longer.
I was at a concert last weekend with 25,000 people partying hard in the lot before the show. I had absolutely zero urge to drink anything but my water. I am even getting to the point where I no longer pay attention to what others are drinking, or how quickly. It's really a huge relief. I am happy being me and doing my own thing, and my friends could care less. I am just the friend whom doesn't drink anymore and is usually the designated driver.
Hang in there everyone. It does get easier and life will continue to get better!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
Hi all,
Hope you're all having a great weekend - and a long weekend at that, for those of you in the US!
Your recent posts have made me think about some holidays I have coming up in the next few months - a weekend in Paris and then later a week in Italy. It'll be my first holiday without alcohol, but at least that might mean I'll remember it!
xx
Hope you're all having a great weekend - and a long weekend at that, for those of you in the US!
Your recent posts have made me think about some holidays I have coming up in the next few months - a weekend in Paris and then later a week in Italy. It'll be my first holiday without alcohol, but at least that might mean I'll remember it!
xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Hi all.
We had to come back from vacation a few days earlier than planned because my precious Lulu is not well. She is scheduled for tests tomorrow and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it is minor.
We did manage to piece together a few wonderful days here and there in between conference calls with the Vet and my sister, who was caring for Lulu. We took a beautiful hike in the Smokey Mountains, thanks for that suggestion RetiredGuy. Spent a wonderful day through the shops in Gatlinburg and even visited a few distilleries. That was a bit more challenging than I would have liked, but I managed to get through it and had fun watching everyone, including my husband, sample the selected 12 whiskies.
I’ve been catching up on all the posts I’ve missed. Congratulations Stargazer on 800 days!
Toots, I love your post on starting out on this journey. I am discovering many things about myself. Some not too pleasant. My son and his girl friend wanted to go on a trip with just my husband. I was not invited. When I asked why I couldn't come, he said "dad gets too stressed out trying to make sure you have a good time. he is a completely different person when your not around and I like to be with him when he is like that". After this vacation with my husband, I can see what my son was saying. I feel so awful. Apparently, I have ruined many family vacation and I don't even remember them.
Helen, years ago I heard a sermon regarding protecting our time. It is something so precious and so often wasted or stolen. I’ll have to dig through my tapes and take another listen.
SSOH – congrats on 10 months!
Great job staying sober Purps. I experienced some very similar moments while on vacation. Fortunately, I was stronger than my AV and was very proud of myself for making healthier/wiser choices.
I hope everyone had a great weekend!.
We had to come back from vacation a few days earlier than planned because my precious Lulu is not well. She is scheduled for tests tomorrow and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it is minor.
We did manage to piece together a few wonderful days here and there in between conference calls with the Vet and my sister, who was caring for Lulu. We took a beautiful hike in the Smokey Mountains, thanks for that suggestion RetiredGuy. Spent a wonderful day through the shops in Gatlinburg and even visited a few distilleries. That was a bit more challenging than I would have liked, but I managed to get through it and had fun watching everyone, including my husband, sample the selected 12 whiskies.
I’ve been catching up on all the posts I’ve missed. Congratulations Stargazer on 800 days!
Toots, I love your post on starting out on this journey. I am discovering many things about myself. Some not too pleasant. My son and his girl friend wanted to go on a trip with just my husband. I was not invited. When I asked why I couldn't come, he said "dad gets too stressed out trying to make sure you have a good time. he is a completely different person when your not around and I like to be with him when he is like that". After this vacation with my husband, I can see what my son was saying. I feel so awful. Apparently, I have ruined many family vacation and I don't even remember them.
Helen, years ago I heard a sermon regarding protecting our time. It is something so precious and so often wasted or stolen. I’ll have to dig through my tapes and take another listen.
SSOH – congrats on 10 months!
Great job staying sober Purps. I experienced some very similar moments while on vacation. Fortunately, I was stronger than my AV and was very proud of myself for making healthier/wiser choices.
I hope everyone had a great weekend!.
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