One Year and Under Club Part 59
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 171
Originally Posted by tootsl1 
The Class idea is wonderful, as we do go through a lot of similar situations in early sobriety. But it can be a little scary too, when so many fellows slip or just disappear. Here, there are folk at differing lengths of sobriety, who may well have recently ( or not so recently but have really loooooong memories) been through something you are experiencing and may have suggestions for tools to help you through and out the other side.
I'm looking forward to getting to know the people in this group.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,154
Awesome to see so many new faces jump on the train here. I always found it reassuring to see that folks indeed did make it past whatever tough time that I was facing at the time. Sometimes, we just lack confidence in ourselves when times get tough, and there is a lot of support here to get each other through.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Welcome Muffin, the early days are when we need the most support so please stick aroun!
Kachal, I am an Undie-Over graduate, and I hope my length of sobriety doesn't daunt anyone or put you off. I come here because I remember how grateful I was to get the support and advice from those who walked the path before me. When things get busy here and the Undies are helping each other, you will see my 'thanks' on posts but maybe not hear much from me ( okay, who cheered?) but when things get a little slow or if I feel I might have the right words, I'll post.
What we all need to remember, is that there is no right way of changing our lives from one of actively drinking to living a sober life. There is no perfect answer. Just as we each found our own way to alcohol, ( or other drug of choice) we each have our own tool kit to help ignore the AV ( Addictive voice) when it chitters in our ears.
Here, we might find different ways to stay on the sober path. Sometimes we just need to vent, off load, and that is fine too. On our Class thread we always ways say ' never say sorry' for posting from the heart.
The Ego in recovery can be extremely fragile, it is easily upset. Also, without body language, it is easy to misinterpret a post. We tend to read a post as we imagine it has been written, not necessarily correctly.
So if anyone is hurt or offended by a post, say so, either here or in a personal message.
On that note, whether I am actively posting or just reading, I am always available on a PM to anyone for any reason. ( except trolling, please, as I say the recovery ego...!)
I really look forward to getting to know you all over the next few days or weeks. Which brave soul is going to start us off with a brief history??
Kachal, I am an Undie-Over graduate, and I hope my length of sobriety doesn't daunt anyone or put you off. I come here because I remember how grateful I was to get the support and advice from those who walked the path before me. When things get busy here and the Undies are helping each other, you will see my 'thanks' on posts but maybe not hear much from me ( okay, who cheered?) but when things get a little slow or if I feel I might have the right words, I'll post.
What we all need to remember, is that there is no right way of changing our lives from one of actively drinking to living a sober life. There is no perfect answer. Just as we each found our own way to alcohol, ( or other drug of choice) we each have our own tool kit to help ignore the AV ( Addictive voice) when it chitters in our ears.
Here, we might find different ways to stay on the sober path. Sometimes we just need to vent, off load, and that is fine too. On our Class thread we always ways say ' never say sorry' for posting from the heart.
The Ego in recovery can be extremely fragile, it is easily upset. Also, without body language, it is easy to misinterpret a post. We tend to read a post as we imagine it has been written, not necessarily correctly.
So if anyone is hurt or offended by a post, say so, either here or in a personal message.
On that note, whether I am actively posting or just reading, I am always available on a PM to anyone for any reason. ( except trolling, please, as I say the recovery ego...!)
I really look forward to getting to know you all over the next few days or weeks. Which brave soul is going to start us off with a brief history??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Kampala, Uganda
Posts: 327
Hi all! I’d like to join here. Still in very very early recovery so I need a lot of tools and support. The AV is going totally crazy on me at all times of the day so it’s really difficult to stay on the bus.
But I’m trying and I intend on staying here until I overcome this disease. And well beyond that too, of course.
But I’m trying and I intend on staying here until I overcome this disease. And well beyond that too, of course.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 116
two weeks today or rather tonight. Glad to see other people in the early stages but feel less sure of myself than many. Maybe it's just today, but I feel very sad and wish I had the emotional skill set to deal with life so I wouldn't want to hide in my bottle of cabernet and pretend everything was fine. I have support and no one forced me to give it up but I have hit a bump in the last 24 hours. Hope my feelings change before tonight.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Singapore
Posts: 190
Two weeks is HUGE Mel. Don't underestimate it. There are thousands upon thousands of people who couldn't manage two weeks for anything.
Don't give it up - it is hard earned. The idea of going back to day one always keeps me straight.
I have been wavering today, too - but I just refuse to give in.
I have a list of things that I love about being sober on this iPad. I read them when I'm struggling a bit and it really helps.
I've also got a separate list of things that tell me that I'm an alcoholic. As an alcoholic, the ONLY way is total abstinence. That really helps me to shut the AV down.
Stick with us, Mel.
Don't give it up - it is hard earned. The idea of going back to day one always keeps me straight.
I have been wavering today, too - but I just refuse to give in.
I have a list of things that I love about being sober on this iPad. I read them when I'm struggling a bit and it really helps.
I've also got a separate list of things that tell me that I'm an alcoholic. As an alcoholic, the ONLY way is total abstinence. That really helps me to shut the AV down.
Stick with us, Mel.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Mel the hardest part of early sobriety is dealing with the emotional triggers without reaching for the bottle. Fact is a lot of us reached for that first drink because we struggled to cope with something. From that point on, for me, hiding behind a bottle became easier than dealing with what life was throwing my way.
There are tools to help you through, following the thought to the end can help. That one drink to soften the bumps leads to upending the first bottle and everything that follows. For me the self disgust the following morning meant avoiding the mirror.
Come here and write about what is getting at you, sometimes just getting it outside of you helps, whether anyone comments or not.
Eventually we begin to learn the coping mechanisms that we ought to have learned much further back in life.
All I can say is that every time you have a small victory, by choosing not to open that bottle, you are winning another battle against AV. Add all these minor battles up and eventually you find you are winning the war.
Remember,mwe are all fighting on your side, so use whatever artillery you can find.
Be strong, be safe, be sober.
There are tools to help you through, following the thought to the end can help. That one drink to soften the bumps leads to upending the first bottle and everything that follows. For me the self disgust the following morning meant avoiding the mirror.
Come here and write about what is getting at you, sometimes just getting it outside of you helps, whether anyone comments or not.
Eventually we begin to learn the coping mechanisms that we ought to have learned much further back in life.
All I can say is that every time you have a small victory, by choosing not to open that bottle, you are winning another battle against AV. Add all these minor battles up and eventually you find you are winning the war.
Remember,mwe are all fighting on your side, so use whatever artillery you can find.
Be strong, be safe, be sober.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Singapore
Posts: 190
I neglected to mention earlier that as you get further and further away from day 1, you will get stronger and stronger and more and more able to deal with whatever comes your way. That is definitely true for me and it has only been 9 weeks.
When something happens now, I have that initial second of panic before a feeling of calm comes over me once I have reminded myself that I am sober and I can deal with ANYTHING when I'm sober.
When something happens now, I have that initial second of panic before a feeling of calm comes over me once I have reminded myself that I am sober and I can deal with ANYTHING when I'm sober.
No quitting on yer quit eh!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,870
It's great to see the Undies thread getting active again! I keep saying that I'll spend more time here, so maybe I should just cowboy up and do that!
I don’t normally share when I get drinking thoughts as they are few and far between, but I want to share what happened last Saturday night to let you know that even those of us who have substantial sober time in have to always be on guard as well. I just celebrated 1000 days sober a while back and I’m coming up on my 3rd year of sobriety, and last Saturday night I was just a whisper away from getting drunk. It was our last night of harvest and I spent 5 hours of very tough, nerve wracking combining (harvesting) in the last field while the other two operators chose to stay in the best part of the field. I let resentment take over and build. My mind was made up that when we finished, I was going to head for town and buy a 15 pack and tear into it! By the time we finished the field, drove all the equipment home and got it put away, I had changed my mind about drinking. I knew if I drank, as much as I wanted to at that moment, I’d be nothing but just another drunk again.
So, I parked my combine in the shed, cleaned all my stuff out of it, got in my truck and headed to the farm where Bubba and Hank were waiting for me. I didn’t even stick around for the post-harvest party as I wasn’t sure what I might say, and I didn’t want to tempt fate with all the booze that I knew would be brought out. I did thank the Lord for giving me the strength I needed to get through that moment, and had to ask for His forgiveness for the thoughts I was having about the other two operators. I came away with 2 revelations from this experience.
No matter how much sober time I get, I’ll always have to be on guard to keep my AV safely locked away. It can speak it’s soothing voice at almost any time, and can be quite convincing if I let it.
It’s maybe time that I re-think my farming days, when it get’s so bad that I want to drink over it, maybe it’s time to quit. I’ll have to think this over in the coming months before seeding season rolls around.
The bottom line is that I stayed sober, I didn’t fall victim to alcohol once again because I know I don’t have another quit in me. I also know that the Big Guy is on my side, and He’s always got my six if I just ask Him….
I don’t normally share when I get drinking thoughts as they are few and far between, but I want to share what happened last Saturday night to let you know that even those of us who have substantial sober time in have to always be on guard as well. I just celebrated 1000 days sober a while back and I’m coming up on my 3rd year of sobriety, and last Saturday night I was just a whisper away from getting drunk. It was our last night of harvest and I spent 5 hours of very tough, nerve wracking combining (harvesting) in the last field while the other two operators chose to stay in the best part of the field. I let resentment take over and build. My mind was made up that when we finished, I was going to head for town and buy a 15 pack and tear into it! By the time we finished the field, drove all the equipment home and got it put away, I had changed my mind about drinking. I knew if I drank, as much as I wanted to at that moment, I’d be nothing but just another drunk again.
So, I parked my combine in the shed, cleaned all my stuff out of it, got in my truck and headed to the farm where Bubba and Hank were waiting for me. I didn’t even stick around for the post-harvest party as I wasn’t sure what I might say, and I didn’t want to tempt fate with all the booze that I knew would be brought out. I did thank the Lord for giving me the strength I needed to get through that moment, and had to ask for His forgiveness for the thoughts I was having about the other two operators. I came away with 2 revelations from this experience.
No matter how much sober time I get, I’ll always have to be on guard to keep my AV safely locked away. It can speak it’s soothing voice at almost any time, and can be quite convincing if I let it.
It’s maybe time that I re-think my farming days, when it get’s so bad that I want to drink over it, maybe it’s time to quit. I’ll have to think this over in the coming months before seeding season rolls around.
The bottom line is that I stayed sober, I didn’t fall victim to alcohol once again because I know I don’t have another quit in me. I also know that the Big Guy is on my side, and He’s always got my six if I just ask Him….
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Great post Abcowboy! That sneaky AV can come up on us at any time. I am glad you were able to keep a cool head and not stay in a situation (the after-party) when your resolve was shaky. I can relate very well to the work hard/play hard mentality and I can appreciate how tough that must have been.
As far as giving up the farming, I'm going to suggest that any other field (haha - field! See what I did there?
) could end up being just as stressful and you may be further ahead focusing on your coping mechanisms. It sounds like it's not a decision you have to make right away, so you have time to reflect on it. Wishing you all the best with whichever you choose.
As far as giving up the farming, I'm going to suggest that any other field (haha - field! See what I did there?
) could end up being just as stressful and you may be further ahead focusing on your coping mechanisms. It sounds like it's not a decision you have to make right away, so you have time to reflect on it. Wishing you all the best with whichever you choose.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by HelenofTroy
Thanks Toots.
I got busy and was ok after that. My AV has been getting quite loud lately. I have had no problem ignoring it and I know (not think but know) I won't act on it, but it's there.
I was reflecting on the dinner when I woke up this morning and it went really well. When drinking, dinner would have been late and I would have been very tipsy (and loud!) by the time dinner was done. Instead my meal turned out perfectly (I rotisseried a couple of chickens on the bbq) and I of course had no hangover this morning, nor any regrets of being loud, obnoxious and repetitive. I have also gotten to the point that I am no longer hyper aware of the bottle of wine on the table. I had my own bottle of sparkling fruit juice and Mr. Troy had his Perrier but we all used wine glasses and it was a really nice dinner. A good time was had by all.
Later in the evening after our company left Mr. Troy and I sat outside watching a sheet lightening show. It was a really good night, and I feel great today. It's one more day that I am again so grateful that I found this site to help me on my journey.
Have a good one everyone!
I got busy and was ok after that. My AV has been getting quite loud lately. I have had no problem ignoring it and I know (not think but know) I won't act on it, but it's there.
I was reflecting on the dinner when I woke up this morning and it went really well. When drinking, dinner would have been late and I would have been very tipsy (and loud!) by the time dinner was done. Instead my meal turned out perfectly (I rotisseried a couple of chickens on the bbq) and I of course had no hangover this morning, nor any regrets of being loud, obnoxious and repetitive. I have also gotten to the point that I am no longer hyper aware of the bottle of wine on the table. I had my own bottle of sparkling fruit juice and Mr. Troy had his Perrier but we all used wine glasses and it was a really nice dinner. A good time was had by all.
Later in the evening after our company left Mr. Troy and I sat outside watching a sheet lightening show. It was a really good night, and I feel great today. It's one more day that I am again so grateful that I found this site to help me on my journey.
Have a good one everyone!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Singapore
Posts: 190
Today would definitely have been a day that the old me would have reached for a beer. Back at work, which was a bit stressful and a bit frustrating. Not had enough time to look after myself, so I'm a bit hungry and a bit thirsty. Got a rough day tomorrow so it would be nice to switch the brain off.
Luckily, I have built up a lot of recent experience about how much better it is to abstain. I think I'll go for a walk. I'll be so happy to wake up sober and less anxious.
Luckily, I have built up a lot of recent experience about how much better it is to abstain. I think I'll go for a walk. I'll be so happy to wake up sober and less anxious.
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