Delilah1

How was your appointment today Suze?

SoberLeigh

Goodnight and love.

SoberLeigh

❤️

FBL

Suze and Nick, please let us know how BOTH of you are doing. We want to help!

Seren

Good morning, Suze!

I hope you slept well and are feeling a bit more positive this morning

Humans are funny creatures, Suze, in how we react to one another. Each of us are allowed to make our own decisions about our lives--that whole free will thing. The people who care about us are not always going to agree with our decisions. And sometimes, they let us know that in an angry way and even bully us to get us to do what they want--because that is all they know.

My sister, God love her, is quite a controlling human being. She and Dad do not get along because they are both very similar in personality. She complains that "as soon as I open my mouth, he stops listening." In other words, he doesn't immediately do what she thinks he should do, when she thinks he should do it These little exchanges have ended with angry words on both sides, and there is nothing I can do because neither of them have asked me for my opinion--so I won't volunteer it. This "not listening" phenomenon works both ways with them. *sigh* Ultimately, though, my sister and Dad love one another.

I think people whom you feel have rejected you here, Suze, do care about you and what happens to you. They are just, perhaps, a wee on the controlling side like my sister? I hope that your friends will come around and realize that you can care about someone even if you don't agree with everything that they do.

Please do take care of yourself and try to have an enjoyable weekend. Hopefully, you will have some nice weather and can walk to the local coffee shop, bring your homework along to do, have a cup of tea and a muffin and watch the people walk by.

venuscat

Thank you. ♥

We have a lot of issues to navigate our way through, and I think we are both feeling a fair amount of panic. The good thing is that we don't seem to be panicking at the same time, so we are able to help each other.

I am illegally feeding my squirrels again and just enjoying watching them in my courtyard. Plus, the cardinals love peanuts....it's fun watching them fly in and grab one.

I am having enormous trouble studying ~ I don't want to do it anymore. I can't see the point. And I am feeling too panicked to sit in classrooms for hours at a time.

I have counselling set again for Tuesday....we shall see I guess.

Nick is doing some things he needs to do today....he is doing way better though. He is trying to get his medication right, and it's not that easy. I'm sure he will tell you when he has a chance.

I wish I could say that I am OK, but I'm not.
I hope I will be. One day at a time I guess. ♥

venuscat

Thank you darling Seren, and all of you....I haven't felt up to responding much in the past couple of days. I am messing up school, and I don't seem to be able to control that, no matter how hard I try. I keep waking up in the mornings crying, and I feel just unable to cope.

My sister is refusing to talk to me now that I haven't gone home....both of them actually. I have support from some awesome friends here, but I do feel quite alone and very fragile right now.

I was also pretty sick for a few days there....my stomach, bad IBS I think....it has settled now, so I will feel better every day probably.

The weather is too hot for me, but I will go for a walk in the evening.

Delilah1

Hi Suze,

Sorry you are still having a difficult time. Is it possible to get a job rather than go to school? I'm not sure what the rules are on Visas and work vs. school.

Hope you are able to enjoy your weekend a little.

❤️Delilah

venuscat

No....I'm not allowed to do that.
And thank you for your constant support. ♥

FBL

Thanks for checking in, Suze.

As for the classes, it seems to me that they are really necessary for the career path you've chosen. I didn't always see the point of my college classes as a lot of them didn't have to do with my major/minor degree. However, they were necessary and I got thru them in 4 years. I wouldn't have the great job I have now without that degree (even though I probably could've gotten the job right out of high school) as my boss wasn't even considering non-degree people at the time I was hired. Sorry to ramble, but I guess what I'm saying is PLEASE get that education while you have the chance. You'll thank me later.

SoberLeigh

Does the visa require a certain or minimum course load?

I am wondering if a reduced load would be advisable in light of your other challenges.

venuscat

I'm not sure FBL....not at all sure I want to do this anymore.
Not even sure I want to be studying for 4 years at my age....but, I know I'm depressed right now and it's possibly clouding my judgement.

If Nick and I work things out the way we planned, I have other options.
I could qualify in aged care here and write and I have a few more ideas as well.

I may be able to get a reduced course load for this semester Leigh ~ I have so royally messed up school at this point that I have to talk to a retention specialist and my advisor again. Lordy. I'm pretty good at messing things up...

And yes, that is depressed Suze speaking.
More counselling is most definitely a priority right now.

PhoenixJ

SoberLeigh

(((((Suze))))

FBL

Suze, don't make any major decisions until you feel better. You are strong and you'll get thru all of this even stronger!

SoberLeigh

Suze, did you discuss your depression with the counsellor yesterday? If so, did he/she suggest seeing a doctor?

feeling-good

Suze

Kris47

I do think that instead of losing that option you try a reduced class load. You may find you like it and jump back in at a later date. If not, what have you lost? I do know you're not a quitter.

Kris47

Sound advice!

wpainterw

I can only speak for myself. I would not ever try climbing this mountain without following the advice of the best doctor I could find. Depression is an illness. My mother had it all her life, was clinically depressed several times. I had it, have,it, am treated for it. That helps me to find ways to help others, or at least to hope that I may find some ways. No way am I going to climb that mountain without a doctor on my rope. The best one I can find.

W.