Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 9
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Just a quick hello. I can't post much because apparently I used up my phone's daily wifi allowance in an hour or two yesterday so my phone provider contacted me and they're now moderating my use whilst I'm away. Let's hope I have more luck moderating my phone use than I ever did trying to moderate my drinking!!!
Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you all and finding it easier that I thought to stay sober on holiday. Loving trying new foods and exploring new places and not having to worry about where the bars are and when I can drink..Being sober makes everything easier. And better. So much better. Love to everyone xxxx
Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you all and finding it easier that I thought to stay sober on holiday. Loving trying new foods and exploring new places and not having to worry about where the bars are and when I can drink..Being sober makes everything easier. And better. So much better. Love to everyone xxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 126
Thanks everyone. I haven't drank. I'm going to try and power through this. I haven't been coming on here because I have been so busy and I haven't been listening to my sobriety podcasts either. No matter what is "going on" I realize I need to take time to feed my good wolf. I've come too far to throw it away. Still have my sobriety counter on my phone and thank God for that because it truly motivates me. I realized how close I am to 7 months. And now at 11pm tonight I will be 7 months alcohol free.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Lady
I'm glad you are posting. I have found that when I drank again it almost always started with me not doing the basic things that support my sobriety and create a spiritual garden that I can retire to when things get tough.
I often power through things, but for me that is a short term proposition to keep me going till I have a moment or two to return to my garden. Whether it is SR ... this thread... or an AA meeting, or listening to Ajan Sumedo. That refreshment keeps me more nutrition for my sobriety.
Sorry to talk so weird ... it's one of those days.
But I really am glad you are here and any support we can give we will. I sometimes get it wrong, but my heart is always in the right place
I'm glad you are posting. I have found that when I drank again it almost always started with me not doing the basic things that support my sobriety and create a spiritual garden that I can retire to when things get tough.
I often power through things, but for me that is a short term proposition to keep me going till I have a moment or two to return to my garden. Whether it is SR ... this thread... or an AA meeting, or listening to Ajan Sumedo. That refreshment keeps me more nutrition for my sobriety.
Sorry to talk so weird ... it's one of those days.
But I really am glad you are here and any support we can give we will. I sometimes get it wrong, but my heart is always in the right place
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
Congratulations LSW I had a good feeling in you knowing which was the right way to go. Apart from the tool you first posted about, moving is highly stressful and could have played into the whole dealeo.
Congratulations on your new home, it will be so much fun setting it up, and by the sound of it has grounds which you will be able to garden. Really happy for you, a brand new life.
Congratulations on your new home, it will be so much fun setting it up, and by the sound of it has grounds which you will be able to garden. Really happy for you, a brand new life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
Wanted to say hi to kev too because my post got lost last time I tried.
You sound so much stronger kev it's fantastic to witness. Sobriety offers so many things, hey? I will never return to drinking, I know that now.
I'm glad you are getting-back up through AA kev and that's great to witness too.
Drop in as often or as little as you like kev, just always good to hear from you particularly as you are doing so well and have much to offer.
We rocked on hey, kev
My love to you as always.
You sound so much stronger kev it's fantastic to witness. Sobriety offers so many things, hey? I will never return to drinking, I know that now.
I'm glad you are getting-back up through AA kev and that's great to witness too.
Drop in as often or as little as you like kev, just always good to hear from you particularly as you are doing so well and have much to offer.
We rocked on hey, kev
My love to you as always.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Oh Steely ... you crack me up.... I'm American so I never knew he was from there and never would have thought of that 
I don't think in the US I have ever met a Dee that was male .... then again I haven't very many girls who go by Dee and I don't care for the girl who comes to mind.
Anyways ... We ate hashbrowns with steak and cheese for dinner, I mowed the back yard, we broke down & bought some garden tools ... not sure how we will make it through the month...
The early evening was just lovely outside.
How about you steely? You having a decent day ? I'll be around for a little bit ....
I don't think in the US I have ever met a Dee that was male .... then again I haven't very many girls who go by Dee and I don't care for the girl who comes to mind.
Anyways ... We ate hashbrowns with steak and cheese for dinner, I mowed the back yard, we broke down & bought some garden tools ... not sure how we will make it through the month...
The early evening was just lovely outside.
How about you steely? You having a decent day ? I'll be around for a little bit ....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
I have the best news ever.
Was honest with my son about there being a 3 year wait for housing even if prioritised.
I'd hate to be in a domestic violence situation violence with kids, that's for sure.
Was waiting in trepidation for his reply and he wrote back and said, "just stay there 'til they offer you something. At least you are prioritised."
I couldn't believe it, and don't want you to think that I was misleading you about how awful it has been - I wasn't.
It got to the point where he said, "you've got your Notice, now get out."
The animosity was constant, and cannot figure his change of heart, I really can't.
He couldn't help but be be aware of the housing crisis that exists here, so maybe that has something to do with it? Maybe he does love his Mum
. I am so happy and the relief palpable.
Found myself off my arse doing stuff around the house, and dropped 1mg Valium as anxiety has lessened. Maybe I should have cut .5, but am going to see how it goes.
Am still proceeding with my plans to follow through with the Department of Housing to keep my case active, and find myself my own housing as I seek independence so much.
He does want the premises back but has taken the pressure off. Phew!
This is such good news, and feel so good and please forgive my previous beatings but it really was as I said, horrible, depressing. And I didn't drink!
I love you all. And am so glad I did tell the truth as now all is out in the open and he didn't sledge me.
He was really great.
Was honest with my son about there being a 3 year wait for housing even if prioritised.
I'd hate to be in a domestic violence situation violence with kids, that's for sure.
Was waiting in trepidation for his reply and he wrote back and said, "just stay there 'til they offer you something. At least you are prioritised."
I couldn't believe it, and don't want you to think that I was misleading you about how awful it has been - I wasn't.
It got to the point where he said, "you've got your Notice, now get out."
The animosity was constant, and cannot figure his change of heart, I really can't.
He couldn't help but be be aware of the housing crisis that exists here, so maybe that has something to do with it? Maybe he does love his Mum
. I am so happy and the relief palpable. Found myself off my arse doing stuff around the house, and dropped 1mg Valium as anxiety has lessened. Maybe I should have cut .5, but am going to see how it goes.
Am still proceeding with my plans to follow through with the Department of Housing to keep my case active, and find myself my own housing as I seek independence so much.
He does want the premises back but has taken the pressure off. Phew!
This is such good news, and feel so good and please forgive my previous beatings but it really was as I said, horrible, depressing. And I didn't drink!
I love you all. And am so glad I did tell the truth as now all is out in the open and he didn't sledge me.
He was really great.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Hi Steely,
I'm sooo glad!!!! Since I came late to this thread I don't know a lot of stuff. Do you think it is possible that your son's changed attitude is due to seeing you differently now you are sober? I ask cause my son wanted nothing to do with me, was not willing to help with anything, and basically glared at me and said as little as possible and rolled his eyes a lot. But ... when he sees me sober for weeks, then months, we get along great. He told me he just wants to move out and never see me again when I drink but really likes me an enjoys stuff when I'm sober. He also says that the first day I drink he will go directly back to hating me and just try to get away from me (if it were to happen that I drank again). Since I've fallen so many times after sobriety it makes since that he knows the possibility will always be there, even if I seem to be doing fine. that doesn't mean he sure I will or scared I will ... he just knows that it will always be something that could happen.
It is sort of like the conversations I had to have with my cardiologist about what to do IF I did drink again ... and if after drinking I want to stop. I'm not planning on it, but I also know it is a possibility for anyone so I better know the important stuff (like stopping one medication and going to the hospital to detox not at home).
I just feel good because I know that every day I have the same chance as anyone else to stay sober. There was a long time where I didn't believe it was possible for me... only others.
I think how you feel is probably similar to how I feel when mom says she will pay my mortgage for a while longer. Problem with her is you never know what she will be willing to do from one day to the next ... but so far its worked out and I'm grateful everyday that I have a home, and that my shelter isn't "the root of a tree".
I'm sooo glad!!!! Since I came late to this thread I don't know a lot of stuff. Do you think it is possible that your son's changed attitude is due to seeing you differently now you are sober? I ask cause my son wanted nothing to do with me, was not willing to help with anything, and basically glared at me and said as little as possible and rolled his eyes a lot. But ... when he sees me sober for weeks, then months, we get along great. He told me he just wants to move out and never see me again when I drink but really likes me an enjoys stuff when I'm sober. He also says that the first day I drink he will go directly back to hating me and just try to get away from me (if it were to happen that I drank again). Since I've fallen so many times after sobriety it makes since that he knows the possibility will always be there, even if I seem to be doing fine. that doesn't mean he sure I will or scared I will ... he just knows that it will always be something that could happen.
It is sort of like the conversations I had to have with my cardiologist about what to do IF I did drink again ... and if after drinking I want to stop. I'm not planning on it, but I also know it is a possibility for anyone so I better know the important stuff (like stopping one medication and going to the hospital to detox not at home).
I just feel good because I know that every day I have the same chance as anyone else to stay sober. There was a long time where I didn't believe it was possible for me... only others.
I think how you feel is probably similar to how I feel when mom says she will pay my mortgage for a while longer. Problem with her is you never know what she will be willing to do from one day to the next ... but so far its worked out and I'm grateful everyday that I have a home, and that my shelter isn't "the root of a tree".
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
Night night Nands.
Oh Nands our stories are so similar, and it has crossed my mind that my son's. change of heart might have to do with him seeing me get sober.
Like you I have tried so many times before and failed, and it brought a lump to my throat when I read that you thought sobriety was for others, but not for you. That's exactly how I felt.
I can remember my son screaming at me as I lay in bed like death, "you need to go to detox!", and back then he really didn't know what detox was
But it is for us Nands, it's like witnessing a miracle and I can hardly believe it. I have finally reached that critical point where I completely understand that it is the FIRST drink.
Even if I were able to 'control/moderate' for a brief period some psychological state would be set in my mind, and eventually doom would descend one more time. So many times
I think this time both my kids can see that I am fair dinkum about it, and it is a joy for me to show them those parts of me that I know to be the person I am, or want to be.
I am beginning to feel the rewards 'they' talk about, and even during the tough times the rewards are still there because I am dealing with (to con a phrase) life on life's terms and I love it, makes me feel all grown up and responsible. Health better too.
I'll never stop laughing though Nands, never. Getting sober HAS saved my life and in the past humour has done the same. I will never relinquish the smile, just like you.
It is an absolute privilege to have met you Nands you have helped me so much with your wisdom, experience and humour. Plus you also like gardening. You got the lot.
"Nands and Steely Get Sober" - good title for a kids book!,
Love you Nands xxx
Oh Nands our stories are so similar, and it has crossed my mind that my son's. change of heart might have to do with him seeing me get sober.
Like you I have tried so many times before and failed, and it brought a lump to my throat when I read that you thought sobriety was for others, but not for you. That's exactly how I felt.
I can remember my son screaming at me as I lay in bed like death, "you need to go to detox!", and back then he really didn't know what detox was
But it is for us Nands, it's like witnessing a miracle and I can hardly believe it. I have finally reached that critical point where I completely understand that it is the FIRST drink.
Even if I were able to 'control/moderate' for a brief period some psychological state would be set in my mind, and eventually doom would descend one more time. So many times
I think this time both my kids can see that I am fair dinkum
about it, and it is a joy for me to show them those parts of me that I know to be the person I am, or want to be.I am beginning to feel the rewards 'they' talk about, and even during the tough times the rewards are still there because I am dealing with (to con a phrase
) life on life's terms and I love it, makes me feel all grown up and responsible. Health better too. I'll never stop laughing though Nands, never. Getting sober HAS saved my life and in the past humour has done the same. I will never relinquish the smile, just like you.
It is an absolute privilege to have met you Nands you have helped me so much with your wisdom, experience and humour. Plus you also like gardening. You got the lot.
"Nands and Steely Get Sober" - good title for a kids book!,
Love you Nands xxx
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Glad to hear everyone sounding so positive and strong. Awesome news about your son, Steely. Must be such a relief.
I hiked all the way to the top of Mount Vesuvius today. Such an awesome volcano and still active. You can see smoke coming out of the rocks. Then we spent hours exploring the ancient city of Pompei. Amazing to see what they've recovered from under all the ash. I'm a little sunburnt and my feet hurt but I'm happy, sober and didn't think once about alcohol. Going to go before I lose wifi. Love to you all xxx
I hiked all the way to the top of Mount Vesuvius today. Such an awesome volcano and still active. You can see smoke coming out of the rocks. Then we spent hours exploring the ancient city of Pompei. Amazing to see what they've recovered from under all the ash. I'm a little sunburnt and my feet hurt but I'm happy, sober and didn't think once about alcohol. Going to go before I lose wifi. Love to you all xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
thanks steely and Kenton for posting.
I'm afraid I can't right now, but I know Kenton is busy touring and Steely should be sound asleep. I need to journal some stuff for therapy and then work to plant my starters and weed and till ... and it's already 77 and supost to get to 96 degrees!
I'm being terribly overly sensitive in my interactions with people right now ... some of it is even spilling on to SR ... although not this thread yet ... so there is still time to reverse the engines and stop the plane.
Anger isn't the big emotion right now ... it's more feeling alone and scared and like no one else will help me. basically ... unsafe.
I'm NOT feeling that way about anything in the here and now .. or at least if I do it's easily blown away as a puff of dandelion fluff ... easily seen to be untrue. It's really just a reaction to some past stuff I'm working through that sorta seeps into the here and now.
Fortunately today I have tools and friends that keep me grounded in the okness of the world as I sort out this deep stuff. I think before it would seep into the now without me seeing the fear for what it is and being able to move on. I am very hopeful the therapy will help me and hope I can find the funds or he can get oked to accept insurance soon.
MKay ... I am looking forward to a good day and will talk with you all later
I'm afraid I can't right now, but I know Kenton is busy touring and Steely should be sound asleep. I need to journal some stuff for therapy and then work to plant my starters and weed and till ... and it's already 77 and supost to get to 96 degrees!
I'm being terribly overly sensitive in my interactions with people right now ... some of it is even spilling on to SR ... although not this thread yet ... so there is still time to reverse the engines and stop the plane.
Anger isn't the big emotion right now ... it's more feeling alone and scared and like no one else will help me. basically ... unsafe.
I'm NOT feeling that way about anything in the here and now .. or at least if I do it's easily blown away as a puff of dandelion fluff ... easily seen to be untrue. It's really just a reaction to some past stuff I'm working through that sorta seeps into the here and now.
Fortunately today I have tools and friends that keep me grounded in the okness of the world as I sort out this deep stuff. I think before it would seep into the now without me seeing the fear for what it is and being able to move on. I am very hopeful the therapy will help me and hope I can find the funds or he can get oked to accept insurance soon.
MKay ... I am looking forward to a good day and will talk with you all later
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
