I'm still retired from that position Gilmer :)

D

Oh Lordy, what an opportunity..
Glee- did you start off with 'when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much'?

Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life, Charlotte Rae, recently died. I think she was in her early 90s.

She used to be one of us; fortunately for her, she quit while she was still young.

I don't think a lot of that went on with that show; the setting was an all-girls boarding school! :lmao:

As far as I know, she's still with us. Although, she was diagnosed with bone cancer a few days ago. She's 91.

Ah. Maybe that was what I read. Come to think of it, duh! It was an interview with her from just last week!

Charlotte Rae was also great as Mrs. Schnauzer in Car 54, Where Are You? (may be before your time).

I was a toddler when that show was in its last couple seasons. I remember liking the two cops, especially Fred Gwynne.

I don't remember her.

Gilmer, do you feel as though you became more emotionally "detached" after sobriety, or was that always your general nature? It is a fascinating topic.

Much as yourself, I interact with hundreds and hundreds of folks during the course of my work day. I project an outgoing persona that leads others to think that I am some social butterfly outside work. It's really the opposite for me. I go home and need to recharge myself. I look forward to not having to go out and interact with more people. I have always needed my alone time.

Looking back, I used alcohol to enlarge my social circle during my school years, especially college time. Yet it is funny that alcohol ultimately led me to virtual total isolation, even from my family living in my house.

I am wondering if you folks think that recovery leads us to become more emotionally unattached? Is it our way of focusing on ourselves so that we can help heal emotionally? Have others with more sobriety gone through a period of detachment from people and then shifted back towards the middle?

Carlos had alluded to his life being more average, or more in the middle of things, since his recovery. I totally get where he is coming from. My drinking life was a non stop roller coaster of highs and lows, over and over and over each day, every day. It was physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. I love being in the middle average now. I don't have the emotional highs and lows that I used to experience while drinking. Gilmer, is that what you meant by not being emotionally attached?

I realize that I was an adrenaline junkie in my addictive days. I don't crave that excitement, don't miss the anticipated rush of the first drinks. Middle of the road is a fine place for me to drive in now. I wonder if people with a chunk of sober time under their belt go back to using simply because they miss the highs and lows and are feeling some level of disconnect emotionally that they hope to initiate through drinking once again? Boredom was certainly a trigger for me in my using days.

Beautiful weather finally here on my weekend. Yesterday, low 70's, today low 60's. I'm getting a lot of yard work done. I went around the yard with the pole pruner whacking everything back in line. I make sure that I can get my riding mower under or as close as possible to each tree to minimize weed whacking. Back to the yard!

Have a great day all!

Stargazer, what a great post and what great questions! For me, drinking and most drugs -- my favorite drugs were any kind of sedative although oddly it was speed I got hooked on -- didn't provide a lot of highs. They were buffers. Whatever I was doing with other people -- even if it looked "high" from the outside -- I was protected from it within. So protected I don't even remember a lot of my own life. I was so un-attached that if I hadn't been corrupt I'd be a buddha.

I wish I could relate to the adrenaline-junkie story of using. I heard it in the AA rooms a lot. Honestly, it sounds like you high-flyers had more fun than I did. But the flip side is that I'm never bored now. I practically missed out on 35 years, and there's plenty to interest me in catching up.

Sober on!

SG, I was an only child. I was always alone with my private thoughts.

As I got to be high school and college age, I found that I was fascinated with people I liked and was eager to find out more about them--but nobody ever wanted to probe my inner depths. I don't even think I had any back then; I sort of lived vicariously.

As I got into adult life, I did develop some inner depths; but, unfortunately, I was (unbeknownst to me) suffering from bipolarity, and I suffered from some delusions. Thus, when I tried to share my inner depths, they were not well received.

I was diagnosed, treated, and largely straightened out; but I am still very shellshocked about sharing deep things.

Drinking everyday was a way of stifling and isolating for me. I had withdrawn from all but the most superficial engagement.

In recovery, I've strived to think about what I can do to bless and emotionally serve other people, whether they occupy my "deep emotions" or not.

In setting myself aside, I am able to do actual good and forge genuine bonds with all different types of people.

My psych medicines also prevent me from being emotionally expressive.

Until I made an adjustment to one of them in 2014, I had lost the ability to laugh! I still find it very difficult to cry (which suits me fine).

The dulling effect of the meds has dampened my spiritual sensitivity, too: as a Christian, I used to be able to pray fervently from my heart, and often I could sense the presence of God as an almost tangible peace.

Now I can barely sit still for five seconds to pray, and when I am able to focus my mind, I feel absolutely nothing.

I brought that up at my community group once: "I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Should I even bother if it's not from the heart?"

A friend said, "What's the alternative?"

So I carry on and endeavor to do the best that I can.

In recovery I am slowly learning to accept myself as I am.

Gilmer, I think many of us probably used alcohol and drugs to self medicate. Looking back now, I see how I tried to cope with my anxieties and depression by drinking. It became a vicious cycle.

I am happy that your condition was uncovered and that you are following a course to control and regulate yourself. Once upon a time, I dated someone briefly who was knowingly bipolar, but she refused to follow her scheduled medications. Many times, she sold her drugs to purchase booze and weed, which never helped things.

I hope that you are actually feeling like you are doing more than simply going through the motions, Gilmer. Your story and posts have been a huge help to me as I plant the seeds of my post alcohol life. SR would be a lot poorer without the sharing of experiences from folks such as yourself.

We all shine in our unique way!

Thank you, SG. That really means a lot to me.

I am secure in my faith in spite of it all, and I am thankful for that security. I once heard somebody say, "Faith is not a feeling," and I keep that in my mind all the time.

I sincerely believe my purpose on this earth is to love God, enjoy him, and let him guide me in the way that brings him the most glory.

To paraphrase Chevy Chase, "he's God and I'm not!" :)

Love that...me too :) Even kinda like the person I think I am in my heart.

I'm not sure if I liked the drunk that I was or not? I was too busy with trying to numb any real feelings. Haha, I took the highest highs in life and tried to make them more.

What could be more powerful than watching your partner in life give birth to a beautiful baby. I had to get drunk to REALLY enjoy it...both times.

Then, when I went that 11 plus years not drinking with no plan/recovery pg, I just took life's highs and worked on what could even be better - or simply something else.

Never stopped to enjoy life in the now.....

Not today - living life in present tense with someone I kinda like with an intention to give this gift of sobriety away to the degree that I can.

In other news...A friend and I were talking about relationships the other day. Something that has been on my mind of late. They told me that they are enjoying time together in present tense - period. The are letting the universe decide if there is a future....plus, they give thanks every time they are together - not to each other - but, to the universe for the gift of togetherness. I like that attitude - I wonder if it travels to New Jersey??? :)

Work is finished - lunch in my belly - the gym is next - to be followed by watching the WORLD CHAMPION PITTSBURGH PENS play some playoff hockey...life is goog, as my one time toddler baby girl would say.

No to anything mind altering on this end today!

HAve a goog one, all.

SR Carlos

PS: Thanks for the post, SG.

Good shares.

It is VERY hard to take relationships moment by moment!

I've read that men generally are more chill, but women generally want the status totally nailed down at every step!

Your NJ lady sounds very pleasant. I hope nice things continue to unfold between you two.

Ditto!!!!

How's your day going, Tom?

Others?

Good day F.I.S.T.

Yesterday's posts were amazing. You've all been through so much. It really helps me to read about your experiences and inner change.

What do you call a bitter greenish-brown alkaline water fowl?




A bile duck.

Groan!!!

How's your day, Cour?