Class of April 2017 Support Thread Part 2
Erratic - Thanks, that was very kind and I'm so proud of you're 43 days!! That's great AA and SR are the only things besides willpower (and I can't rely on that alone I've learned the hard way I'm afraid) keeping me sober. As far as as the gym, I still can't get myself to clean house. I'm walking and got a little sun after my meeting. The sunshine makes me feel better. Life isn't so great at the moment, but glad to be handling it sober for once. Best to you and all of SR members XO
Feeling 'odd' today. Can't explain the feeling.
Yesterday, despite my good intentions, I had a bottle of wine. I had to go down the shop again about 8pm but as I walked in the door - even having the money in my pocket - I knew I didn't want to buy alcohol.
As I joined the queue to pay I could see at the front a distressed lady being comforted by a member of staff. As I got closer I could see she was too lightly dressed for the temperature and in bare feet. It turned out the reason she was distressed was because the staff were refusing to sell her any more alcohol. It smacked me round the head that if I don't get my act together that could be me in the near future....
In addition to the above job prospects, I also did an online assessment for another job late last night and they contacted me this afternoon to schedule a phone interview for the morning. I am very positive about this one as it is more about personality and helpfulness than experience. A decent starting wage, excellent training, career prospects. Plus I would need to stay at my parents 4 nights a week until the lease is up on my tiny room in this shared house. I could then move to my parents town (where rent for a 2 bedroom apartment is around £100 a month cheaper). I would be in position to potentially save at least £300 a month. I've not been in that situation for years.
I know I mustn't count my chickens before they hatch BUT alcohol is NOT going to rob me of this chance to get my life back on track!
Sorry for the long winded ramble.
Yesterday, despite my good intentions, I had a bottle of wine. I had to go down the shop again about 8pm but as I walked in the door - even having the money in my pocket - I knew I didn't want to buy alcohol.
As I joined the queue to pay I could see at the front a distressed lady being comforted by a member of staff. As I got closer I could see she was too lightly dressed for the temperature and in bare feet. It turned out the reason she was distressed was because the staff were refusing to sell her any more alcohol. It smacked me round the head that if I don't get my act together that could be me in the near future....
In addition to the above job prospects, I also did an online assessment for another job late last night and they contacted me this afternoon to schedule a phone interview for the morning. I am very positive about this one as it is more about personality and helpfulness than experience. A decent starting wage, excellent training, career prospects. Plus I would need to stay at my parents 4 nights a week until the lease is up on my tiny room in this shared house. I could then move to my parents town (where rent for a 2 bedroom apartment is around £100 a month cheaper). I would be in position to potentially save at least £300 a month. I've not been in that situation for years.
I know I mustn't count my chickens before they hatch BUT alcohol is NOT going to rob me of this chance to get my life back on track!
Sorry for the long winded ramble.
I made it home. Today came with some AV chatter and illusions. I knew if I stopped and got some wine since it has been 10 days, none would say anything much. But I didn't. It is all about negative trends! Any AV chatter is too much. So that concerns me. I don't want it to escalate tomorrow and forward. Part of it is if I make it past tomorrow, day 11, it will be the longest stretch I can remember in years. So I guess I'm a bit nervous....just a thing!
Welcome! I wish a different result for you this time, if that is your wish also!
Hi All. Day 11 today. I was wondering how y'all are doing with your irritability. I am finding myself to have zero tolerance to annoyances. It is waaayyyy beyond normal. I am seriously worried about damage control. I have stressful job and I can see that I have obviously used drinking to cope with the stress, as in, ' just get through the day and you can have a nice glass of wine to take the edge off ( or bottle as it actually was). Now, the edge doesn't go away!
I'm restarting again now. Perhaps it's something that would help you? I started with this article by Thich Nhat Hanh Five Steps to Mindfulness , and with only 2 minutes 2x a day. I don't know if it would help you, but the only thing you have to lose is a few minutes of time for a few days
Hi Tertor, I've had success dealing with irritability and anxiety by using Mindful meditation. Unfortunately, I fell away from doing daily meditation, but I did notice a distinct difference in my mood when I was meditating a few minutes each day, every day.
I'm restarting again now. Perhaps it's something that would help you? I started with this article by Thich Nhat Hanh Five Steps to Mindfulness , and with only 2 minutes 2x a day. I don't know if it would help you, but the only thing you have to lose is a few minutes of time for a few days
I'm restarting again now. Perhaps it's something that would help you? I started with this article by Thich Nhat Hanh Five Steps to Mindfulness , and with only 2 minutes 2x a day. I don't know if it would help you, but the only thing you have to lose is a few minutes of time for a few days
Something that happened
Hi All,
Like many on here, the AV has been giving me a run for my money. At work yesterday, a collleague came to work distraught. Her brother-in-law, who had distanced himself from the family through his own choice, had died from cirrhosis of the liver. They hadn't even known he had it until he was hospitalized in his last days. I gues he had been quite the closet drinker. They're are all devastated and are feeling guilty, wishing they had known so they could try to intervene. Watching her grief and listening to her was hard. She of course did not know she was actually talking to a closet alocoholic. I knew that they nothing they could have done would have stopped him if he didn't want to stop himself. And I was so sad at the waste through death of this person, only 45, whom I didn't even know, leaving behind so many who loved him and maybe never realizing that himself. And I vowed that I would learn from this and his story would not become my future. And then I came home and in spite of all that, I really wanted a drink. Isn't that AV soooo tricky and persistent? It tried to tell me that one more night of drink wouldn't hurt my liver that much. I posted through the cravings last night and will do the same tonight. I am so glad to have found this forum. Thanks for listening. May we all beat the voice.
Like many on here, the AV has been giving me a run for my money. At work yesterday, a collleague came to work distraught. Her brother-in-law, who had distanced himself from the family through his own choice, had died from cirrhosis of the liver. They hadn't even known he had it until he was hospitalized in his last days. I gues he had been quite the closet drinker. They're are all devastated and are feeling guilty, wishing they had known so they could try to intervene. Watching her grief and listening to her was hard. She of course did not know she was actually talking to a closet alocoholic. I knew that they nothing they could have done would have stopped him if he didn't want to stop himself. And I was so sad at the waste through death of this person, only 45, whom I didn't even know, leaving behind so many who loved him and maybe never realizing that himself. And I vowed that I would learn from this and his story would not become my future. And then I came home and in spite of all that, I really wanted a drink. Isn't that AV soooo tricky and persistent? It tried to tell me that one more night of drink wouldn't hurt my liver that much. I posted through the cravings last night and will do the same tonight. I am so glad to have found this forum. Thanks for listening. May we all beat the voice.
Great job going to an AA meeting Verona I had to have someone go with me because I kept going and sitting in the car so I understand how hard it is.
Day 2
Today was ok. I am on a new diet plan where you eat small meals throughout the day and that keeps me from getting hungry. I want something sweet though . I am also drinking a lot of water.
These last couple of years with alcohol have been the worst. I really don't ever want to go back to that. I am struggling here in the evenings though finding things to do because I'm used to getting whatever I had to do done as soon as possible so I could relax and drink and not have to worry about doing anything else. I need to find some hobbies to keep busy in the evenings
I hope everyone is having a good day/evening
I ran in to a lady and I explained that one of my biggest fears/anxiety is (not only the thought of never again) but of having to explain to people in this society why I'm not drinking like everybody else. She said the easiest way to handle it is to walk straight in, and before the host/hostess even has a chance to ask what drink you would like, just give them a compliment and ask them an opened ended question. Such as. Oh, I love that dress. Where ever did you get it? People love to talk about themselves and if you circulate the room in such a fashion they won't even pay attention to the water or soda you have in your hand. Interesting concept.
Hi Tertor, I've had success dealing with irritability and anxiety by using Mindful meditation. Unfortunately, I fell away from doing daily meditation, but I did notice a distinct difference in my mood when I was meditating a few minutes each day, every day.
I'm restarting again now. Perhaps it's something that would help you? I started with this article by Thich Nhat Hanh Five Steps to Mindfulness , and with only 2 minutes 2x a day. I don't know if it would help you, but the only thing you have to lose is a few minutes of time for a few days
I'm restarting again now. Perhaps it's something that would help you? I started with this article by Thich Nhat Hanh Five Steps to Mindfulness , and with only 2 minutes 2x a day. I don't know if it would help you, but the only thing you have to lose is a few minutes of time for a few days
I didn't, but I see how I have justified it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 87
Thanks Emme99 and congrats on day 2!!
Starting day 6 here. I feel the same way about the evenings as you Emme. Days are great, but oh the evenings... They are the hardest. I've tried everything from crossword puzzles to gardening, Netflix and Nutella, listening to music, taking a walk. I'm still restless, very anxious and keep looking at my watch, counting the hours until I can go to sleep. The thing I'm scared of is that when I was sober before (8 years), I never was able to quite shake this evening anxiety/restlessness. I don't know if it's somehow programmed into me because of growing up in a dysfunctional home where evenings meant being in constant fight- or flight mode... I'm very determined to do everything I can this time to stay sober but the evening anxiety worries me. What if it never goes away? I have young kids so I can't leave the house every night, otherwise I'd go to meetings during the evenings.
Wishing everyone a great April Wednesday!
Starting day 6 here. I feel the same way about the evenings as you Emme. Days are great, but oh the evenings... They are the hardest. I've tried everything from crossword puzzles to gardening, Netflix and Nutella, listening to music, taking a walk. I'm still restless, very anxious and keep looking at my watch, counting the hours until I can go to sleep. The thing I'm scared of is that when I was sober before (8 years), I never was able to quite shake this evening anxiety/restlessness. I don't know if it's somehow programmed into me because of growing up in a dysfunctional home where evenings meant being in constant fight- or flight mode... I'm very determined to do everything I can this time to stay sober but the evening anxiety worries me. What if it never goes away? I have young kids so I can't leave the house every night, otherwise I'd go to meetings during the evenings.
Wishing everyone a great April Wednesday!
Don't know what day it is for me. Day 4 of withdrawal except two days I go buy a bottle take a swig panic and pour it away. Spect I'll do the same today. Okay at mo. Shaking, etc, more than I'd hoped. But definitely better than last Friday.
Hi April 2017 Class, I am from the April 2016 Class and I wanted to stop by and welcome you all and tell you one year on it gets better and better. Glad you are all here and giving yourselves a go and chance to see how good things can be.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)