Angie 247's thread - This new sober life Part 5
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Thank you so much venuscat andstargazer. I have calmed down a lot now. I mean I was parked catty corner in a parking space and I was outside on my phone when she saw me with a front right flat tire so I hadn't stppped for alcohol. I really like that venuscat, I think the chip lucky too, *hugs*.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,478
Nite love.....you should be super-proud of yourself.
I imagine you still have a bit of adrenaline coursing through your veins....you probably need a good sleep.
Betting you wake up tomorrow with a smile on your face. 
♥
I imagine you still have a bit of adrenaline coursing through your veins....you probably need a good sleep.
Betting you wake up tomorrow with a smile on your face.
♥
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Thank you all so much. I just got frustrated because she saw my flat and then wanted to know why I stopped there. Maybe she thought I stopped to get something and then found it flat. She was looking inside my car from where she stood and I was embarrassed because the mats and floorboard needed to be vaccuumed. Anyway, it's over. :-). My ex husband asked/texted what I thought about us going to see my old therapist together to better understand each other. He just asked minutes ago and I'm not sure what I think.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by Angie247 
Thank you all so much. I got myself a 6 month chip today and came out to a flat tire. I didn't notice until I was on the road that it was flat so I drove to the nearest place which was of course, a liquor store. I got AAA to help me. My old sponsor came up and questioned why I stopped at a liquor store. I was stressed out and emotional. I didn't snap at her like I want to do, I said my tire was flat and this is the closest parking lot I could get to. It's less than half a mile away from the club. Thoughts of drinking are coming up but I can manage them. I've come too far, even if it's only 6 months, I am not starting over. I don't know if I could. As time passes, it gets easier now that it's been a couple hours. I can handle stresses of life without turning to the bottle. It just felt like I'd get in trouble for having a flat tire as crazy as that sounds.
Don't worry about what your sponsor thinks. YOU know why you were there - that it was a safe and convenient place to stop and wait for assistance.
And you passed another test! Good for you, Angie.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by venuscat
That feels like God to me dearest Angie....wow, what a test.
And look what happened?
You got to stand up to a woman who has been a little too bossy with you....and you did it calmly and with dignity. And fixed your tire. And walked away sober.
Um.....wow girl.
That is one impressive day if you ask me....rub your chip....I think it's lucky. ♥♥
And look what happened?
You got to stand up to a woman who has been a little too bossy with you....and you did it calmly and with dignity. And fixed your tire. And walked away sober.
Um.....wow girl.
That is one impressive day if you ask me....rub your chip....I think it's lucky.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by Angie247
Thank you all so much. I just got frustrated because she saw my flat and then wanted to know why I stopped there. Maybe she thought I stopped to get something and then found it flat. She was looking inside my car from where she stood and I was embarrassed because the mats and floorboard needed to be vaccuumed. Anyway, it's over. :-). My ex husband asked/texted what I thought about us going to see my old therapist together to better understand each other. He just asked minutes ago and I'm not sure what I think.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,478
Originally Posted by Angie247
Thank you all so much. I just got frustrated because she saw my flat and then wanted to know why I stopped there. Maybe she thought I stopped to get something and then found it flat. She was looking inside my car from where she stood and I was embarrassed because the mats and floorboard needed to be vaccuumed. Anyway, it's over. :-). My ex husband asked/texted what I thought about us going to see my old therapist together to better understand each other. He just asked minutes ago and I'm not sure what I think.
Um....to what purpose? Re the counselling....if you feel it will help you and Alex in the long run, then I would go for it. Just wondering what his motivations are.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Hi stargazer. I'm doing okay. I went to another meeting and I got a little bit upset. My former sponsor spoke up and said "this one needs to speak up" while pointing at me. She had sat right next to me. it was so embarrassing because everyone was looking at me and I bumbled through a minute of speaking. Right after they prayed us out, I immediately left. She means well but gosh, our personalities do not mesh well at all. I'm not planning on going back for a while but I am just as dedicated as ever to staying sober.
I have been apart of SR since about mid 2015. In that time, I have had two bouts of sobriety that was longer than I had experienced before. I relapsed one time at 6 months and the other time at 7 months exactly. I'll hit 7 months of sobriety on December 31st and I'll start off the new year being sober longer than I ever have before. It might be silly and it doesn't really mean anything but I thought it was cool. I know this is one day at a time but it's something to look forward to and another example of keeping on the right track.
I had issues with clutter in some rooms around the house so I have been busy cleaning, throwing away and donating. It already looks so much better and I feel so much better! Every night (except last night) I will work on it and get a bag of trash or donated items up and ready. I was just so tired last night that I went to bed for some much needed rest. I slept from 8:30 to 6am. It feels awesome. Still getting used to those 4 10 hour days but now I have theee days off..
I have been apart of SR since about mid 2015. In that time, I have had two bouts of sobriety that was longer than I had experienced before. I relapsed one time at 6 months and the other time at 7 months exactly. I'll hit 7 months of sobriety on December 31st and I'll start off the new year being sober longer than I ever have before. It might be silly and it doesn't really mean anything but I thought it was cool. I know this is one day at a time but it's something to look forward to and another example of keeping on the right track.
I had issues with clutter in some rooms around the house so I have been busy cleaning, throwing away and donating. It already looks so much better and I feel so much better! Every night (except last night) I will work on it and get a bag of trash or donated items up and ready. I was just so tired last night that I went to bed for some much needed rest. I slept from 8:30 to 6am. It feels awesome. Still getting used to those 4 10 hour days but now I have theee days off.
.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
what your ex sponsor did was not cool. Bullying is never right, no matter what her intent.
If you don;t feel you can confront her or ignore her, I'd start going to different meetings.
If you don;t feel you can confront her or ignore her, I'd start going to different meetings.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,478
Originally Posted by Dee74
what your ex sponsor did was not cool. Bullying is never right, no matter what her intent.
If you don;t feel you can confront her or ignore her, I'd start going to different meetings.
If you don;t feel you can confront her or ignore her, I'd start going to different meetings.
Honestly, it is hard to restrain myself on this one....suffice to say that that lady has some issues she needs to work on. I hope she has a sponsor.
And no idea what happened at the end of my post before....sorry about that.
It is wonderful to be looking forward to your longest time ever sober....what a fantastic way to go into the new year.
And the cleaning and purging is just the best isn't it?
You need a sponsor who can see how amazing you are, and how dedicated you are to your sobriety and the program. You need someone as special as you are....if you can go to any different meetings, I know it's hard with your work week, well, I have a feeling that you will find someone you like and respect.
♥
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,172
Angie, I would be looking for a different meeting. I am new to AA, but that attitude is not one that I have experienced up to this point.
It is awesome that you will be hitting your longest sobriety run entering the next year. What a great way to welcome in 2018!
It is awesome that you will be hitting your longest sobriety run entering the next year. What a great way to welcome in 2018!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by Angie247
Hi stargazer. I'm doing okay. I went to another meeting and I got a little bit upset. My former sponsor spoke up and said "this one needs to speak up" while pointing at me. She had sat right next to me. it was so embarrassing because everyone was looking at me and I bumbled through a minute of speaking. Right after they prayed us out, I immediately left. She means well but gosh, our personalities do not mesh well at all. I'm not planning on going back for a while but I am just as dedicated as ever to staying sober.
I have been apart of SR since about mid 2015. In that time, I have had two bouts of sobriety that was longer than I had experienced before. I relapsed one time at 6 months and the other time at 7 months exactly. I'll hit 7 months of sobriety on December 31st and I'll start off the new year being sober longer than I ever have before. It might be silly and it doesn't really mean anything but I thought it was cool. I know this is one day at a time but it's something to look forward to and another example of keeping on the right track.
I had issues with clutter in some rooms around the house so I have been busy cleaning, throwing away and donating. It already looks so much better and I feel so much better! Every night (except last night) I will work on it and get a bag of trash or donated items up and ready. I was just so tired last night that I went to bed for some much needed rest. I slept from 8:30 to 6am. It feels awesome. Still getting used to those 4 10 hour days but now I have theee days off..
I have been apart of SR since about mid 2015. In that time, I have had two bouts of sobriety that was longer than I had experienced before. I relapsed one time at 6 months and the other time at 7 months exactly. I'll hit 7 months of sobriety on December 31st and I'll start off the new year being sober longer than I ever have before. It might be silly and it doesn't really mean anything but I thought it was cool. I know this is one day at a time but it's something to look forward to and another example of keeping on the right track.
I had issues with clutter in some rooms around the house so I have been busy cleaning, throwing away and donating. It already looks so much better and I feel so much better! Every night (except last night) I will work on it and get a bag of trash or donated items up and ready. I was just so tired last night that I went to bed for some much needed rest. I slept from 8:30 to 6am. It feels awesome. Still getting used to those 4 10 hour days but now I have theee days off.
.You are doing beautifully. So proud of you
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Have had some really stressful moments this past week, money, work, ex husband but I am still sober. I'm trying my best through it all. My son needs me at my best and I don't want to go back to being an active alcoholic.
As far as my former sponsor, she pretty much goes to all meetings in the area. The one Monday thru Friday right after my work schedule, she is there, she's also at the women's meeting on the weekend and the open speaker one that I love too. She's retired and really big into AA. She goes to the one at noon which I could go to on Monday. She is very committed.
So, I am going to have to stand my ground but I know she thinks I'm making a bad decision by not following her directions. When I got out of outpatient and went back to work, she didn't want me working full time. She told me of this person and that person who only worked part time after outpatient. That's great but by the time outpatient ended, I was struggling financially and needed to get a full paycheck. It was me, this meek person saying I have to work full time and her announcing that i shouldn't be doing it. I was the one frustrated then. I don't have anyone but myself with a small child support check. She wanted me to tell my boss that I had just got out of outpatient for alcoholism and I could get out of working full time. I refused. I was out for two months but as far as they knew it was for anxiety and depression which was a factor too. My doctor knows all about my alcoholism but I have chosen not to tell management or tell coworkers. Not knocking anyone who does, this was just right for me. The time that she went off on me about being frustrated was when I went to a meeting and she wanted me to go to another 2 hour meeting afterwards at a church but I just couldn't do it with getting up early the next day for work. Then that's what started her saying she was getting frustrated and going on and on. I think it's the best for both of us not to have that sponsor relationship. She's very blunt and I tend to avoid those people so I'm sure it had been frustrating for her.
So many times in AA, I have heard people say "whatever my sponsor said to do, I did it." I'm sorry but that wasn't in the cards for me.
I'm so committed to staying sober and I want to do everything that I can to not pick up. I will start back at meetings and find that right sponsor.
As far as my former sponsor, she pretty much goes to all meetings in the area. The one Monday thru Friday right after my work schedule, she is there, she's also at the women's meeting on the weekend and the open speaker one that I love too. She's retired and really big into AA. She goes to the one at noon which I could go to on Monday. She is very committed.
So, I am going to have to stand my ground but I know she thinks I'm making a bad decision by not following her directions. When I got out of outpatient and went back to work, she didn't want me working full time. She told me of this person and that person who only worked part time after outpatient. That's great but by the time outpatient ended, I was struggling financially and needed to get a full paycheck. It was me, this meek person saying I have to work full time and her announcing that i shouldn't be doing it. I was the one frustrated then. I don't have anyone but myself with a small child support check. She wanted me to tell my boss that I had just got out of outpatient for alcoholism and I could get out of working full time. I refused. I was out for two months but as far as they knew it was for anxiety and depression which was a factor too. My doctor knows all about my alcoholism but I have chosen not to tell management or tell coworkers. Not knocking anyone who does, this was just right for me. The time that she went off on me about being frustrated was when I went to a meeting and she wanted me to go to another 2 hour meeting afterwards at a church but I just couldn't do it with getting up early the next day for work. Then that's what started her saying she was getting frustrated and going on and on. I think it's the best for both of us not to have that sponsor relationship. She's very blunt and I tend to avoid those people so I'm sure it had been frustrating for her.
So many times in AA, I have heard people say "whatever my sponsor said to do, I did it." I'm sorry but that wasn't in the cards for me.
I'm so committed to staying sober and I want to do everything that I can to not pick up. I will start back at meetings and find that right sponsor.
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