F.I.S.T. #2 (Finely Implemented Sobriety Techniques)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Originally Posted by Delizadee 
Things never go quite as I expect them too . Expectations are the devils playground. Building sites for future resentments.
DZD, we might differ about lowering the bar and working on acceptance. If possible - and it not always works - I try to live without any expectation bar. It helps me stay more present tense....which works for me. I'm not saying you are wrong....haha, I have no desire to be right - just add what seems to be working for me.
Nice post, Glee. Congrats on the new home. So true about the inevitable progression of this disease. I had a drinking thought the other day...it was strange and probs had some deeper meaning. I was just driving along and thought that I could easily go have some alcohol...who would know. Quickly I realized the potential for disaster....guess those darn thoughts never go away completely???
About to coconut milk latte up my morning. Friday is the only workday morning I break for a gym class. My instructor and good friend calls it my Friday Happy Hour. Always says, "Matt, you here for happy hour?"....Oops, did I just out myself.
Have a good one, all.
Carlos - yes, Carlos has been a nickname of mine for many years among my friends.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
My favorite part is the bubble dance-party. When my son was little we used to do Disco Dance Night. We turned out the lights and turned up the tunes -- B 52s were big I remember.
About age -- selfishlessly I'm glad to hear you're not in your 50s, Deliza, or I'd think there was more wrong with me than I already know there is
FBL -- what kind of work do you do?
I have a nice orderly low-pressure day in front of me. There were a couple of days this week when I felt like a drink would be right in the situation. Not right for me, but fitting... after I finished one thing, and before inevitably turning to the next, a good whiskey like a deep, deep breath.
I can't do that. I took that off the table all by myself. Doesn't matter if sometimes I wish I could have a drink, or sometimes I don't think of it at all -- I don't do it. The experience wouldn't be what I wish for, and one wouldn't be enough.
Staying on the beam --
About age -- selfishlessly I'm glad to hear you're not in your 50s, Deliza, or I'd think there was more wrong with me than I already know there is
FBL -- what kind of work do you do?
I have a nice orderly low-pressure day in front of me. There were a couple of days this week when I felt like a drink would be right in the situation. Not right for me, but fitting... after I finished one thing, and before inevitably turning to the next, a good whiskey like a deep, deep breath.
I can't do that. I took that off the table all by myself. Doesn't matter if sometimes I wish I could have a drink, or sometimes I don't think of it at all -- I don't do it. The experience wouldn't be what I wish for, and one wouldn't be enough.
Staying on the beam --
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by IWLSAST
I'm sure it was at an AA meeting where I heard that it was okay to plan a future...just don't plan the outcome. It was one of those ah-ha moments for me in recovery and is a principal that I try to follow every day...with practice, not perfection.
DZD, we might differ about lowering the bar and working on acceptance. If possible - and it not always works - I try to live without any expectation bar. It helps me stay more present tense....which works for me. I'm not saying you are wrong....haha, I have no desire to be right - just add what seems to be working for me.
DZD, we might differ about lowering the bar and working on acceptance. If possible - and it not always works - I try to live without any expectation bar. It helps me stay more present tense....which works for me. I'm not saying you are wrong....haha, I have no desire to be right - just add what seems to be working for me.
The, how can I make this work for me, without it being at the cost of others, rather than the benefit.
My problem is part of my planning the future comes with expectations that history repeats itself without fail and I get so wound up with anxiety over the awful tapes of dealing with the people who trigger this anxiety. Facing them is always like facing a fear to me. I am trying so hard not to think this way. I don't expect much from them, but the worst. That is still an expectation. How the heck do you unwind yourself from that?
I try to manifest it with positive affirmations about myself and my capabilities of dealing with it the right way, and that I'm strong and intelligent. But meh, I can't undo 30 some odd years of these feelings so quickly and I don't want to fall into the downward spiral of a pity party. So I pray. And I know now that I need to listen more at meetings. I'm at that point. I get a lot of stuff- I just don't get a lot of stuff. Know what I mean?
Courage I'm glad you have a low pressure day. I hope everyone does!!
I am struggling with the decision to go to the farm today and I think it would be a massive emotional setback for me. On the other hand, it could just open the flood gates of emotions so I can grieve it face to face, say goodbye and find some closure. I don't know what's right. Just typing it makes me cry. I don't want to avoid my feelings though.
So, I dunno.
Son is home sick from school so we are going to be gaming together long distance.
7 more days until I pick him up!! 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Thanks Gilmer! Haha, I don't really feel that way. I gave over to the telephone call and game playing with my boy. It's a non-starter and not worth it. It's a beautiful day and I feel tired, lazy, head cold and weepy. If I go to the farm, it will break my heart.
Last night as I raked my comparatively little backyard and got thirsty, I recalled all the yards and yards of grass I had raked happily on the farm, while drinking away. All the things like spring clean up and gardening that accompanied drinking that I enjoyed so much.
Best not to go. I think that the PAWS is clawing enough at the inside of my brain.
Upside is- I really have little urge to drink. I'd rather just get through the crappy feelings rather than putting them on pause or amplifying them.
So today I will not drink. 2 days before I pick up my boy I will hit triple digit in days. Cool. I don't really like day counting. But I feel much more solid in my daily commitment now.
How are you lovely people today??
Here's one I just had to.......
lmao
Last night as I raked my comparatively little backyard and got thirsty, I recalled all the yards and yards of grass I had raked happily on the farm, while drinking away. All the things like spring clean up and gardening that accompanied drinking that I enjoyed so much.
Best not to go. I think that the PAWS is clawing enough at the inside of my brain.
Upside is- I really have little urge to drink. I'd rather just get through the crappy feelings rather than putting them on pause or amplifying them.
So today I will not drink. 2 days before I pick up my boy I will hit triple digit in days. Cool. I don't really like day counting. But I feel much more solid in my daily commitment now.
How are you lovely people today??
Here's one I just had to.......
lmao
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Did you schedule that meeting, Jaws?
DZD, you've amassed a pretty impressive sober journey in just 99 days. Good stuff!
So what's happening today, GG? If NYC is going to be nice, it should be true of No VA too?
I'm slightly disappointed....it was to be a high of just 60 today and I'm planning a beach walk with my sweats on...probs the last chance for long pants for months, but, it looks like that has changed to 70. It will feel 60'ish on the beach with the breeze though. It was scorching most of the week.
No plans to drink or drug today, too.
Carlos
DZD, you've amassed a pretty impressive sober journey in just 99 days. Good stuff!
So what's happening today, GG? If NYC is going to be nice, it should be true of No VA too?
I'm slightly disappointed....it was to be a high of just 60 today and I'm planning a beach walk with my sweats on...probs the last chance for long pants for months, but, it looks like that has changed to 70. It will feel 60'ish on the beach with the breeze though. It was scorching most of the week.
No plans to drink or drug today, too.
Carlos
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Good morning everyone!
Ah, the first morning I get to ease myself into in over a week, where I'm not frantically scrambling to meet a moving deadline or go to work. I had been facing the stress and deadlines with gratitude, but boy do I feel blessed for the opportunity to relax a little bit this morning with my coffee.
It took 12 years of real estate market research, saving, and going back to a corporate job for this opportunity to come to fruition. I absolutely, hands down, love my new house. It's going to take a while to settle in, if I want to in an organized and well thought out manner. So, if I don't want to burn myself out I'll be living like Gil, among boxes!!
Fbl - Im also grateful for my attitude adjustment brought on by sobriety.
Gilmer - Glad you're feeling better!
Del - It sounds to me like you have a strong insight to guide you to the next right thing.
Courage - Springtime Saturday meeting sounds like a bummer.
Carlos - Enjoy your "happy hour" today.
Have a sober day all!
Ah, the first morning I get to ease myself into in over a week, where I'm not frantically scrambling to meet a moving deadline or go to work. I had been facing the stress and deadlines with gratitude, but boy do I feel blessed for the opportunity to relax a little bit this morning with my coffee.
It took 12 years of real estate market research, saving, and going back to a corporate job for this opportunity to come to fruition. I absolutely, hands down, love my new house. It's going to take a while to settle in, if I want to in an organized and well thought out manner. So, if I don't want to burn myself out I'll be living like Gil, among boxes!!
Fbl - Im also grateful for my attitude adjustment brought on by sobriety.
Gilmer - Glad you're feeling better!
Del - It sounds to me like you have a strong insight to guide you to the next right thing.
Courage - Springtime Saturday meeting sounds like a bummer.
Carlos - Enjoy your "happy hour" today.
Have a sober day all!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
8 a.m. to 6 p.m. 30 people in a room.
I don't express my complete loathing for American society by drinking at it anymore, so I just express it, sometimes. Whatever. I'm not insulting anyone personally. I have no political stance. I appreciate the great privilege of first world 21st century standards of living, health, education, and freedom. And I don't know of a better form of society, any time any where. I just find a lot of what constitutes the culture I'm most familiar with personally repellent. Maybe it's a species thing. Maybe all humanity would make me cringe as often as it amazed me, once I got to know it.
This is a cranky post, as in, I'm turning into a crank. Working on that manifesto.
I don't express my complete loathing for American society by drinking at it anymore, so I just express it, sometimes. Whatever. I'm not insulting anyone personally. I have no political stance. I appreciate the great privilege of first world 21st century standards of living, health, education, and freedom. And I don't know of a better form of society, any time any where. I just find a lot of what constitutes the culture I'm most familiar with personally repellent. Maybe it's a species thing. Maybe all humanity would make me cringe as often as it amazed me, once I got to know it.
This is a cranky post, as in, I'm turning into a crank. Working on that manifesto.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I had a crazy day. Very social--not what I would have chosen if I'd had my druthers, but it worked out great. I'm behind in schoolwork, though, so I was under great pressure to cram some in and my day was so broken up that I couldn't get into it--so I built up double the pressure by procrastinating!
Finally with about a one-hour time slot I covered 5 chapters of review before my evening plans.
I always find this to be true--I don't know why I can't keep it in my head: the gargantuan tasks I most dread are usually very manageable in small chunks.
Also, things that can seem never-ending during the anticipation phase can often be knocked out in five minutes when you actually sit down and do them!
I'm tired now but wanted to check in. The day overall turned out good; God gave me a lot of grace to really pull it out of the trash can!
It's late for me, even though it's not even 10:00.
I find myself getting a little maudlin, even though I haven't been drinking.
What's my classic proverb? "A good night's sleep is the answer to all questions!"
Good night.
Finally with about a one-hour time slot I covered 5 chapters of review before my evening plans.
I always find this to be true--I don't know why I can't keep it in my head: the gargantuan tasks I most dread are usually very manageable in small chunks.
Also, things that can seem never-ending during the anticipation phase can often be knocked out in five minutes when you actually sit down and do them!
I'm tired now but wanted to check in. The day overall turned out good; God gave me a lot of grace to really pull it out of the trash can!
It's late for me, even though it's not even 10:00.
I find myself getting a little maudlin, even though I haven't been drinking.
What's my classic proverb? "A good night's sleep is the answer to all questions!"
Good night.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Aw, cour 
you remind me a bit of my mom today. She has a high power, high level, high stress position too and she said to me over text today "I'm getting out of town soon. Or I'm going to lose my mind!"
Nothing wrong with being in your 50s. Isn't 50 like the new 40? My mom is 52. When we are together we are ALWAYS mistaken for sisters and have been since my early 20s.
Which is weird but cool I suppose. She is my aunt by birth.
Anyways. Grey hair.
What happened to your low-pressure orderly day??
you remind me a bit of my mom today. She has a high power, high level, high stress position too and she said to me over text today "I'm getting out of town soon. Or I'm going to lose my mind!"Nothing wrong with being in your 50s. Isn't 50 like the new 40? My mom is 52. When we are together we are ALWAYS mistaken for sisters and have been since my early 20s.
Which is weird but cool I suppose. She is my aunt by birth.
Anyways. Grey hair.
What happened to your low-pressure orderly day??
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,833
Some nice warmer weather here this morning (58F as I type this).
I try to go for a long walk nearly every day, but Sunday is my special extended walking day. I go about 4 miles through the local park, which has a lot of trees and wildlife running along the river. It's my refresher and really gives me a nice chance to reflect on the past week and plan for the one ahead.
I try to go for a long walk nearly every day, but Sunday is my special extended walking day. I go about 4 miles through the local park, which has a lot of trees and wildlife running along the river. It's my refresher and really gives me a nice chance to reflect on the past week and plan for the one ahead.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,098
Thank you Dee! Liking the new name! Checking in, on vacation here in beautiful Utah. Spending time with my best friend and her husband.
I would listen FBL!
Glad you are feeling better Gilmer!
Gotta finish my tea, kick some dogs around and start my day!!
Peaceful sunday all
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I would listen FBL!
Glad you are feeling better Gilmer!
Gotta finish my tea, kick some dogs around and start my day!!
Peaceful sunday all
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