One Year and Under Club Part 58
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Stargazer - Way to go on 2 years sober!! It's a real joy to get go grow with you. Thank you for always being here to share your experiences. I hope you have a nice day with some time to reflect on how much you've grown.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,150
Thanks for the kind thoughts everyone!
I was reflecting back yesterday on the differences a year make. My first year was basically a lesson in learning how to surf urges and make it through a year's worth of holidays, birthdays, vacations and life in general without resorting to the familiar crutch of alcohol. It was also a time of letting my body and mind slowly heal itself after three decades of daily drinking.
Year two, for me, was really a time of emotional growth. It is said that once one becomes addicted, emotional growth and maturity stop. I might be in my mid fifties, but had the emotional maturity of a twenty year old. The growth I have made has been subtle in the short term but profound in the long term.
At this point, I no longer think of myself as a drinker. During my first year, especially early on, I kind of viewed myself as a drinker who was taking a break, not as someone whom was done forever. I had a few thoughts this year about whether I could ever return to moderate drinking, especially on my birthday. Thanks to the experiences shared by some on this thread, I realized the folly of such a plan.
I would say that as you folks enter year two, your biggest threat to your sobriety might be overconfidence that you got this thing called addiction licked. I read a lot this year about addiction and how our brains are rewired by heavy drinking. The circuitry always remains, just waiting for someone or something to throw the switch. Thankfully, sobriety allows newer circuits to form and guide our behavior.
It has been an awesome experience reading and posting on this thread since I was a newbie. Watching all of you make such strides in personal growth helps to solidify my recovery everyday.
Thanks again to all! Enjoy the day everyone!
I was reflecting back yesterday on the differences a year make. My first year was basically a lesson in learning how to surf urges and make it through a year's worth of holidays, birthdays, vacations and life in general without resorting to the familiar crutch of alcohol. It was also a time of letting my body and mind slowly heal itself after three decades of daily drinking.
Year two, for me, was really a time of emotional growth. It is said that once one becomes addicted, emotional growth and maturity stop. I might be in my mid fifties, but had the emotional maturity of a twenty year old. The growth I have made has been subtle in the short term but profound in the long term.
At this point, I no longer think of myself as a drinker. During my first year, especially early on, I kind of viewed myself as a drinker who was taking a break, not as someone whom was done forever. I had a few thoughts this year about whether I could ever return to moderate drinking, especially on my birthday. Thanks to the experiences shared by some on this thread, I realized the folly of such a plan.
I would say that as you folks enter year two, your biggest threat to your sobriety might be overconfidence that you got this thing called addiction licked. I read a lot this year about addiction and how our brains are rewired by heavy drinking. The circuitry always remains, just waiting for someone or something to throw the switch. Thankfully, sobriety allows newer circuits to form and guide our behavior.
It has been an awesome experience reading and posting on this thread since I was a newbie. Watching all of you make such strides in personal growth helps to solidify my recovery everyday.
Thanks again to all! Enjoy the day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Thanks Stargazer! I am looking forward to that emotional growth! I think that is starting to happen for me but I have a long way to go.
I had a drinking dream last night. In my dream I had a few beers and threw away my almost 11 months of sobriety! It was so real . Glad I woke up and it was a dream because I felt pretty bad about it.
I had a drinking dream last night. In my dream I had a few beers and threw away my almost 11 months of sobriety! It was so real . Glad I woke up and it was a dream because I felt pretty bad about it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
Great to read your post Stargazer - I can relate to what you're saying about the first year just being getting through the various events / milestones without alcohol for the first time. Huge congrats on 2 years. I was just wondering if there were any books / websites that you'd found particularly helpful?
Midwest - coincidentally, I was just posting in the September thread about a similar dream I had last night. Mine involved a glass of red wine. The relief when I woke up to discover that it was all just a dream was incredible - our subconscious minds giving us both a useful lesson, I reckon!
Midwest - coincidentally, I was just posting in the September thread about a similar dream I had last night. Mine involved a glass of red wine. The relief when I woke up to discover that it was all just a dream was incredible - our subconscious minds giving us both a useful lesson, I reckon!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
I rarely get drinking dreams these days, and even when I do, they don't have the same lasting effect. But when I first sobered up, they would discombobulate me for the entire day. It was always good to read here of others having experienced similar.
I agree with SG on the process of recovery, the first year is a real toughie, and we are so vulnerable in our early recovery. It is an immense pleasure to watch my friends here grow and solidify their recovery and add to their sober days, weeks months and years.
I remember seeing someone here celebrating their first year, just as I was finding my feet in the first weeks. A year of sobriety seemed unreachable, so far in the future, and so different to the 'me' I had known for so long that I truly wondered whether I could be that person. Well, yes I could. I love sober me, I have grown and moved forward, and have become someone I and others can rely on. I no longer hide from my responsibilities, I push myself out of my comfort zone and I experience life more fully.
SSOH, I went on a site called Coursera. Where you can access a variety of different courses across the globe for free. They cover one called 'the addicted brain' which really explains the chemical changes that additcition causes. I found it thought provoking and interesting. It also led to me doing other courses just for my own enjoyment. A great site to access.
I agree with SG on the process of recovery, the first year is a real toughie, and we are so vulnerable in our early recovery. It is an immense pleasure to watch my friends here grow and solidify their recovery and add to their sober days, weeks months and years.
I remember seeing someone here celebrating their first year, just as I was finding my feet in the first weeks. A year of sobriety seemed unreachable, so far in the future, and so different to the 'me' I had known for so long that I truly wondered whether I could be that person. Well, yes I could. I love sober me, I have grown and moved forward, and have become someone I and others can rely on. I no longer hide from my responsibilities, I push myself out of my comfort zone and I experience life more fully.
SSOH, I went on a site called Coursera. Where you can access a variety of different courses across the globe for free. They cover one called 'the addicted brain' which really explains the chemical changes that additcition causes. I found it thought provoking and interesting. It also led to me doing other courses just for my own enjoyment. A great site to access.
Living the life
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,211
Great posts Stargazer and Toots! I had such a hard time wrapping my head around not drinking "forever". It felt like I was breaking up with my lifelong best friend who had always been there for me. Now I don't want to drink at all. That doesn't mean that the thought doesn't sometimes appear in my head, but as long as I don't just mindlessly react to it (by drinking) but allow myself to recognize it and then think "no, I don't drink", I've moved on with no issue.
Last night I was out for dinner with a group of former colleagues who were in from out of town who mostly don't know that I'm not drinking. I didn't say anything and just ordered a water with lime. I think one of the other women who is a drinker was surprised as we would have drank together before. It was kind of funny in that she was checking what everyone else was drinking, waiting for someone else to order something alcoholic ("what are you having?" she asked around the table). As a former drinker it was fascinating to see the language we all recognize, not wanting to be the only one drinking but not wanting to NOT drink. She finally got one taker and with an obvious sense of relief ordered herself a Ceasar. It reminded me of how hard it can sometimes be to be a drinker.
In other news I am especially glad to not be drinking because I just took my sports car "Sally" out of winter storage this week. I have always tried to make a point of not drinking at all when driving Sally as it is too tempting to race a little. Yes, I was one of those stupid ones who would normally drive after a drink or two. Now it is no longer an issue regardless of which vehicle I am driving.
I kind of feel like this is part of the emotional growth Stargazer talks about. That theory makes sense to me, in that I started my "partying" lifestyle as a teenager and often joked that I am the world's oldest juvenile delinquent, not really seeing the connection. I am only six months in (well six months tomorrow lol) but I am so looking forward to my future now. I love my sober life.
Have a good one everyone.
Last night I was out for dinner with a group of former colleagues who were in from out of town who mostly don't know that I'm not drinking. I didn't say anything and just ordered a water with lime. I think one of the other women who is a drinker was surprised as we would have drank together before. It was kind of funny in that she was checking what everyone else was drinking, waiting for someone else to order something alcoholic ("what are you having?" she asked around the table). As a former drinker it was fascinating to see the language we all recognize, not wanting to be the only one drinking but not wanting to NOT drink. She finally got one taker and with an obvious sense of relief ordered herself a Ceasar. It reminded me of how hard it can sometimes be to be a drinker.
In other news I am especially glad to not be drinking because I just took my sports car "Sally" out of winter storage this week. I have always tried to make a point of not drinking at all when driving Sally as it is too tempting to race a little. Yes, I was one of those stupid ones who would normally drive after a drink or two. Now it is no longer an issue regardless of which vehicle I am driving.
I kind of feel like this is part of the emotional growth Stargazer talks about. That theory makes sense to me, in that I started my "partying" lifestyle as a teenager and often joked that I am the world's oldest juvenile delinquent, not really seeing the connection. I am only six months in (well six months tomorrow lol) but I am so looking forward to my future now. I love my sober life.
Have a good one everyone.
HelenMember
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
So good to hear from people who have got through that first year - thank you!
The dreams are horrible, but I still welcome them as they're obviously something that my mind needs to process and I think they solidify my resolve to stay sober. Even though I've found the past 7.5 months tough, I feel much more stable and grounded. I trust myself in a way I didn't when I was drinking. I feel like I'm learning how to look after myself.
This place helps enormously.
xx
PS - Thanks for the Coursera tip, Toots - I'll check that out.
The dreams are horrible, but I still welcome them as they're obviously something that my mind needs to process and I think they solidify my resolve to stay sober. Even though I've found the past 7.5 months tough, I feel much more stable and grounded. I trust myself in a way I didn't when I was drinking. I feel like I'm learning how to look after myself.
This place helps enormously.
xx
PS - Thanks for the Coursera tip, Toots - I'll check that out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Good morning!
I had another drinking dream last night! It is so weird. I think it is because I am getting closer to the one year sober mark and I am afraid of throwing it away. I read so many post on here where people make it to a year and then decide they can have a drink or two. I think that is very scary. I think it is very scary to grow up too. haha. But I think at 35 I better keep moving forward.
Congrats Helen!!
I had another drinking dream last night! It is so weird. I think it is because I am getting closer to the one year sober mark and I am afraid of throwing it away. I read so many post on here where people make it to a year and then decide they can have a drink or two. I think that is very scary. I think it is very scary to grow up too. haha. But I think at 35 I better keep moving forward.
Congrats Helen!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Yes, that first year is very close for me too ! and it's not my first first time on this merry go round. But, like I have said before this time is different. and thanks to this thread and a few others I'm going to make it ! ! I would not be here if it wasn't for the great advice that has been given me. I still have drinking dreams too. and just like you guys so darn relieved to find out it was just a dream. and in those dreams I'm always sneaking it. I get so mad about that .
anywhooo------just glad to be here with you guys. and wouldn't be sober without you.
hugs
Babs
anywhooo------just glad to be here with you guys. and wouldn't be sober without you.
hugs
Babs
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