One Year and Under Club Part 58
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
So true Kopfan!
I am so happy to be here. I remember there was a time I didn't think I could live without alcohol and I couldn't see never having a drink again. I can see it now!! I thought I couldn't get out of it but I had the power all along and so do you!
day 345 since I did anything stupid. lol
I am so happy to be here. I remember there was a time I didn't think I could live without alcohol and I couldn't see never having a drink again. I can see it now!! I thought I couldn't get out of it but I had the power all along and so do you!
day 345 since I did anything stupid. lol
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: LI, NY
Posts: 982
Originally Posted by Midwest1981 
I am so happy to be here. I remember there was a time I didn't think I could live without alcohol and I couldn't see never having a drink again. I can see it now!! I thought I couldn't get out of it but I had the power all along and so do you!
day 345 since I did anything stupid. lol
day 345 since I did anything stupid. lol
very sad. The autopsy didn't show any heart conditions.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 248
Hi all,
Just stopping by for a quick read and to remind myself why I'm not drinking. I worry that I'm already slipping into the mindset of "I'm not drinking because I'm pregnant" (an easy reason to accept) - and I want to remember that I'm ALSO not drinking because alcohol screws up my head and my life (a more difficult reason to accept - but one that I need to hold onto).
Hope you're all doing well.
Awesome work, everyone!
x
Just stopping by for a quick read and to remind myself why I'm not drinking. I worry that I'm already slipping into the mindset of "I'm not drinking because I'm pregnant" (an easy reason to accept) - and I want to remember that I'm ALSO not drinking because alcohol screws up my head and my life (a more difficult reason to accept - but one that I need to hold onto).
Hope you're all doing well.
Awesome work, everyone!
x
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
SSOH, it might be worth copying some of your earliest posts, and writing down everything you felt about yourself at your worst when you were drinking. Keep it handy and remind yourself regularly.
With all the joy and expectation of a new baby, yes it will be easy for AV to hide behind that as a reason for your sobriety. Because that way, he gets to yip in your ear the moment the wee one is born. ( celebrate with champagne of course... Not so much the cigar, then of course there is the temptation of a glass of wine to unwind after a long day of motherhood. Etc etc etc. Don't allow AV to keep a foot in the door, think of your impending motherhood as your reward for maintaining your sobriety, not as a reason for it. Stick close as even if you maintain your sobriety throughout the pregnancy ( and AV might well try to tempt you 'you can only have one glass anyway as you're pregnant, so why worry' ) the stresses and strains of new motherhood will leave you vulnerable. ( watch out for the temptation of other mothers too, - get the children together for a play date 'oh I think we deserve a wee drop of wine don't you? Prosecco barely counts it's all bubbles' )
I feel the middle income female, the 'yummy mummies' the 'career girl' seem to have become the more active of drinkers in recent years, if you look at at the Prosecco, gin and wine mêmes on FB it's practically a sinnot to indulge at every opportunity. And because most of them do it behind closed doors and appear 'genteelly' or 'amusingly' drunk and still manage to function well enough the rest of the time, the dangers are not being picked up until it's too late.
Mid, I find it difficult to believe there wasn't an underlying cause of that lads death, that doesn't even seem an outrageous amount of caffeine, I regularly drink a copious amount of caffeine in a short period of time in the morning, then no more during the day. Regardless, any cause of a 16 year old dying is a sadness.
Keep on keeping on Undies, be as proud of yourselves as I am to be among you all.
With all the joy and expectation of a new baby, yes it will be easy for AV to hide behind that as a reason for your sobriety. Because that way, he gets to yip in your ear the moment the wee one is born. ( celebrate with champagne of course... Not so much the cigar, then of course there is the temptation of a glass of wine to unwind after a long day of motherhood. Etc etc etc. Don't allow AV to keep a foot in the door, think of your impending motherhood as your reward for maintaining your sobriety, not as a reason for it. Stick close as even if you maintain your sobriety throughout the pregnancy ( and AV might well try to tempt you 'you can only have one glass anyway as you're pregnant, so why worry' ) the stresses and strains of new motherhood will leave you vulnerable. ( watch out for the temptation of other mothers too, - get the children together for a play date 'oh I think we deserve a wee drop of wine don't you? Prosecco barely counts it's all bubbles' )
I feel the middle income female, the 'yummy mummies' the 'career girl' seem to have become the more active of drinkers in recent years, if you look at at the Prosecco, gin and wine mêmes on FB it's practically a sinnot to indulge at every opportunity. And because most of them do it behind closed doors and appear 'genteelly' or 'amusingly' drunk and still manage to function well enough the rest of the time, the dangers are not being picked up until it's too late.
Mid, I find it difficult to believe there wasn't an underlying cause of that lads death, that doesn't even seem an outrageous amount of caffeine, I regularly drink a copious amount of caffeine in a short period of time in the morning, then no more during the day. Regardless, any cause of a 16 year old dying is a sadness.
Keep on keeping on Undies, be as proud of yourselves as I am to be among you all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
I have noticed the last week I have woken up asleep on my back. I have always
slept on my stomach for 30 years... I think it was a security thing! I never thought that would change but with sobriety I must be feeling more secure. So weird.
Hope everyone has a great day!
slept on my stomach for 30 years... I think it was a security thing! I never thought that would change but with sobriety I must be feeling more secure. So weird.
Hope everyone has a great day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Hey guys! I feel bad for missing out on this thread. I need to 'get out and stay out' amongst the SR world more 
I'm kind of standing in one corner so, here I am back again.
I never really like day counting as I felt it always set me up for failure. I have apps that keep track of it though so I know. I am just over 4.5 months sober and if anyone remembers me, I started this year off in treatment for 6 weeks.
It was one of the best things that have happened for me.
Along with an amazing addictions counselor and a 2 month day program last year, I have a really good foundation for my sobriety, now just keeping up with the work.
I had posted about the relapse ladder that has helped me in the past see where I am on the wrong path and at risk for a relapse.
I think it is VERY important to remember relapse happens way before the first drink. Recognizing that and being able to reach out and double down the efforts on our sobriety plan becomes a little easier if we can remember or recognize our own signs of being on the relapse ladder.
I take no credit for this, I am just grateful to have come across this app and this message as it became very helpful to me.
Happy sober day to you all 
xo Del
I'm kind of standing in one corner so, here I am back again. I never really like day counting as I felt it always set me up for failure. I have apps that keep track of it though so I know. I am just over 4.5 months sober and if anyone remembers me, I started this year off in treatment for 6 weeks.
It was one of the best things that have happened for me.
Along with an amazing addictions counselor and a 2 month day program last year, I have a really good foundation for my sobriety, now just keeping up with the work.
I had posted about the relapse ladder that has helped me in the past see where I am on the wrong path and at risk for a relapse.
I think it is VERY important to remember relapse happens way before the first drink. Recognizing that and being able to reach out and double down the efforts on our sobriety plan becomes a little easier if we can remember or recognize our own signs of being on the relapse ladder.
I take no credit for this, I am just grateful to have come across this app and this message as it became very helpful to me.
Are you on the relapse ladder
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories . "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were using.
The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad ." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault, that your problem was caused by anything except your disease.
The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing.
The fourth rung is called high risk situations . Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again.
The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance . During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top.
The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about using for no apparent reason.
Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use . This means you intend to use and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my husband is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the Bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out.
On the next rung, you actually get the drugs or order the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is...
If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you.
So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs.
Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
SoberTool App
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories . "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were using.
The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad ." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault, that your problem was caused by anything except your disease.
The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing.
The fourth rung is called high risk situations . Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again.
The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance . During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top.
The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about using for no apparent reason.
Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use . This means you intend to use and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my husband is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the Bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out.
On the next rung, you actually get the drugs or order the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is...
If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you.
So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs.
Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
SoberTool App
xo Del
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 345
Thank you so much for the info, Del. It's very useful. I realized I'm on rung one tonight. I went to a party and looked down at the end of the table where some of my co-workers were having a good drink. I did think for a moment about how I used to be like that. Laughing, having a good time. But 30 mins or so later the main woman who was laughing and having a good time had red drunken eyes and not laughing as much. A dinner out with co-workers further solidified my choice of sobriety. Had a great night and lots of people don't drink. Who knew??
Have a great day all.
Have a great day all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: LI, NY
Posts: 982
Day 63 and my sneaky AV woke up. My thoughts were hey it's Friday, get drunk, enjoy and worry about it tomorrow. Fortunately I played the tape through and had a root beer instead. Have a great sober weekend everybody!
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