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One Year and Under Club Part 58

Old 05-01-2017, 07:59 AM
  # 201 (permalink)  
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hi guys ! Happy Monday !
I went for another walk yesterday and also mowed the lawn
this week-end. I'm a little out of shape. Whew---It felt good to get out
there and get a little exercise.
Kept my mind busy and that's what I need. Of course my old thought of having something to drink as a reward afterwards was there also.
Didn't work. I'm still sober.
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Old 05-01-2017, 09:28 AM
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Happy Monday Everyone,

I am on an extended fly fishing/camping trip and having a great time even without the booze. I always have a thought about a drink on my way back to my campsite after a day of fishing. So far it has been relatively easy to laugh it off. I hope it stays that way, because I am really feeling better than I have in a long time.
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Old 05-01-2017, 11:19 AM
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RetiredGuy- I am glad you are feeling great!

SSOH- I hope you had a happy birthday. I do think maybe your birthday week had something to do with missing having a drink. We used to celebrate every occasion having one and the first year you have to go through all those occasions without it. I hope you celebrated in another way that was even more special. I have been baking and cooking a lot more and have enjoyed putting my energy into that. That is how I celebrate now.

Babs- Great job getting outside and walking. That always make me feel great. Really lifts my mood.

I am doing great. 4 days away from 11 months sober. I stocked back up on tea today. I go through a lot of it....but that is okay it is healthy! No drinking thought or cravings.
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Old 05-02-2017, 04:55 AM
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Good morning folks.

I have been completely lazy the last couple of days and had no ambition to do anything. At times I have even been feeling a little down. The weather has been wet and gloomy so perhaps that has something to do with it.

I am usually a pretty positive person so it bothers me when I'm feeling down, and often in the past that was a trigger for drinking. Even though logically I know everyone has these feelings, I feel like there is something wrong with me when I feel down. I am so blessed in my life with so many positive things, so why should I feel down? I was sitting in my sunroom for a bit yesterday while letting the dog out and, remembering something I read on this site, I just allowed myself to feel the emotion. I didn't try and fight it or mask it. And it was ok. Nothing bad happened. This is something I need to learn to do - to be able to sit with my emotions.

Today I feel more energized and I'm ready to have at it.

Have a good one everyone!
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Old 05-02-2017, 05:12 AM
  # 205 (permalink)  
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Helen, I know what you are feeling. Logically, my life is so much better than it was and I feel that I should just be happy all the time. However, that just isn't who we are as humans. Great job allowing yourself to just see your emotions for what they are, and let them pass non judgmentally.

Have a great day all!
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Old 05-02-2017, 05:21 AM
  # 206 (permalink)  
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Morning Undies It's been awhile since I've been here but after reading back a few pages I saw some great milestones.
Congratulations Babs on your One Year!!
Congratulations Stargazer on Year Two!!
The collective wisdom and support here really helped me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. To all the Overs who post - a special thank you!
Wishing everyone a good Sober day
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Old 05-02-2017, 06:04 AM
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Morning everyone!

Helen- I have days like that too. The last few days I have been irritable. I got mad yesterday over something pretty silly. I almost confronted the person. I need to learn I don't always have to stick up for myself. I am really scrappy.

Have a great day everyone!! Keep up the great work.
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Old 05-02-2017, 07:24 AM
  # 208 (permalink)  
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hi !
Helen I too get those down moods. and I'm usually a happy go lucky person too. and I fight with myself when I'm crabby or down. It's great to know other people have the same feelings. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks you Bandicoot2 for the Congrats. I still come here cause I still feel those early signs of sobriety ---although they aren't as strong now as they use to be.
Have a wonderful day everyone !
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Old 05-02-2017, 10:53 AM
  # 209 (permalink)  
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In February I marked 3 years sober. My first year was time spent staying strong while I experienced my firsts without alcohol - first snow storm, first summer, first trip, first birthday, first holidays, as well as life's unexpected ups and downs. I white knuckled from time to time, but mostly was looking for solutions on how to enjoy life sober. I spent my second year enjoying those landmark days of the year in sober ways.

If I found I was white knuckling, some things that helped me were a gratitude journal, writing in SR, talking to friends in recovery, going to an AA meeting, and getting out and doing sober activities.

My life has made so many turns for the better as a result of stopping drinking AND changing my thinking.
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Old 05-02-2017, 07:14 PM
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Glee your right ! changing the thinking has a lot to do with it too !
Boy ! I'm getting this more and more each day.
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Old 05-02-2017, 08:18 PM
  # 211 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the great post Glee. It's an inspiration to newbies like me. I look forward to making a similar post in 2 yrs and 9 months!
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Old 05-03-2017, 04:01 AM
  # 212 (permalink)  
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Good morning, Happy hump day.

Like many of us here (I'm guessing), I'll be facing my first summer without drinking. I have had a few anxious thoughts about that but have been able to push them aside. Lucky for me, not a lot of people around me drink. Those that do are on the on the side of town. There will be a couple of family event's where drinking is (was) the main focus. But I'm not going to waste time worrying about those future event's right now. I'll make a plan when the time comes.
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Old 05-03-2017, 04:15 AM
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Originally Posted by gleefan View Post
My life has made so many turns for the better as a result of stopping drinking AND changing my thinking.
Thanks Glee. I am just starting to get this. I've always heard about "stinking thinking" and always thought that was about *other* folk lol.

I have been very blessed to have had a "successful" life and career, yet this is probably more in spite of rather than because of my thought processes. I have read that those who have issues with drugs or alcohol have a sort of arrested development where they stay mentally at that maturity level of when they began. I can say that in some ways that has been true for me. Even though to all outside appearances I have always tried to do the right things, to be the mature adult when it came to raising my kids or doing my job, deep down in my head I've always felt like a rebellious teenager who was always looking to get away with something. After only six months of sobriety not only can I really see that now but I can also see how problematic that mindset is and how truly fortunate I have been that nothing has really come back to bite me in the backside. In short, I feel like I am finally growing up. I'm not quite there yet; I still have issues with self-discipline (get off the computer and do something constructive! lol) but I am a work in progress.

Have a good one everyone
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Old 05-03-2017, 06:56 AM
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Hi bandicoot. It's great to see you! Thank you!

Great conversation! I think the takeaway is that we will all experience periods of feeling down emotionally. That is to be expected. What I feel is important is that we do not let these feelings stir up our Addictive Voice and let it use our down moments as an excuse to drink. Just recognize what we are feeling in a non judgmental way and don't dwell. Feeling better is right around the corner.

Have a great day all!
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Old 05-03-2017, 07:28 AM
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Good morning!

STDragon- last year when I was 1 month sober I went to a 4th of July party. I was so uncomfortable. That is when I decided I am not going to push myself to attend anything if I wasn't comfortable or ready to do so. Sobriety is number 1. Now it doesn't bother me if I am around alcohol as long as no one is getting drunk. That took awhile.
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Old 05-03-2017, 11:29 AM
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When I was 8 days sober, and not out to anyone, even my wife, I attended a "Raise Your Mug for a Cure" cancer fund raiser that my sister in law runs for her company. Made it through that but I was pretty neurotic. You are absolutely right Midwest, we shouldn't push ourselves to attend things if we are not comfortable. Like you, I don't care if I am around drinkers, as long as they aren't drunk. Now, I just feel sad when seeing someone drunk, because I know where that leads.
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Old 05-03-2017, 04:17 PM
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Hi one year and under club! I'm in the March 2017 group and the January 2016 group (hi Bandi &#129303 but first joined SR two years ago. I'm 47 days sober today. Yeah! Overall I feel great being sober. I do get some down days though but they aren't consistent thank goodness. Yesterday was the worst day of urges I've had. Kept myself busy though to get through the day.

Just want to say hello and reach out for as much support as I can get. I'm concerned about having more down and grumpy days ahead. Unfortunately a familiar pattern which leads me back to day 0.

Hope you all have a wonderful day. 😊
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Old 05-03-2017, 05:45 PM
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welcome Sandy! Congrats on 47 days!
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Old 05-04-2017, 04:40 AM
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Welcome Sandy! Hitting 47 days is an achievement. I finally started to sleep better around that point.

Have a great day all!
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Old 05-04-2017, 05:03 AM
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Hi Sandy and welcome to one of the most supportive groups of people on SR. Like you, in the early days I used to get grumpy and even resentful whenever I thought of the fact I couldn't have a drink whenever or wherever I wished. It took a change in attitude to make me see things differently.

I had to consider my life as an active drinker, and think about what I wanted from my life. If I wanted those things, I needed to choose not to drink. It is still a matter of choice. If someone says 'shame you can't have a drink' I think ' well I could have a drink, if I chose to allow my life to continue swirling the plug hole. But I choose to live an overall happier, fitter, more rounded life.
I also had to ensure I didn't leave a 'bottle shaped' hole in my life, fill the time you would have spent drinking, doing something else. Think of things you used to enjoy doing before AV got you in a stranglehold, or of things you would like to try. It doesn't have to cost. Also, certainly in the early days, I had to find non-alcohol related ways to reward myself for good days. It doesn't have to cost much; A long soak, a book from a charity shop.
Find ways to remind yourself of the good things - As Glee mentions, a gratitude list is great for reminding ourselves that live doesn't end when our relationship with alcohol does.

Also Sandy, I see you haven't posted very often, I found in the first year that opening up and honestly seeking help and support ( as you have here today) truly helped me. The more I told people of my struggles, the more specific my support became. I also got a huge feel good factor for offering support of others, especially if they mentioned that they appreciated my words.

We often come here with very a low sense of self worth, I certainly hated the person I had become and felt I had let myself and my loved ones down by allowing my addiction to take me over. Being praised here, even just being acknowledged gave me a boost, time and again. Over time, it matters more to know that my experiences helps another to realise that they are understood. That there is nothing they have thought, felt or done that can't be accepted without prejudice, by others who have been in the same dark place.

Finally, be kind to yourself, it's still early days and you are like a newborn in terms of emotion and ego. Stopping drinking doesn't make the world a better place, just gives you a better footing to manage the cr4p thrown at you.
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