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Class of February 2017 Support Thread Part 4 |
Originally Posted by Axeman Purple Cat - had some cravings this afternoon but I remembered I promised you I'd do the right thing, so I am! My wife thanks you. So a few days off the Campral now, and I don't seem to be having any problems craving-wise. Still have random thoughts, but that is to be expected. Hope everyone is still doing well! |
Sobriety abides for another day. And my internet service is doing poorly tonight so I'm getting a taste of SR on the small screen. Wellness visit with the doc today was largely uneventful. Liver enzymes are up, though not terribly. Weight is down, so basically I'll keep walking, keep eating better and keep not pouring alcohol into my face! |
Good plan rascal |
Dee - thank you for your support recently. I am listening, and got over a craving yesterday by coming back here and reminding myself of the bigger picture and the goal. I dedicated my sober night to a few users, including Purple Cat and I felt obligated to keep that promise. I have a plan for tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday. By then, of history repeats itself, I will be sleeping much better and ready for another awesome week. My goal right now is to will through this weekend. Then I set my sights on next weekend. After that, I will be able to see a new "record" for sobriety of 17 days totally in my sights. My wife has a little sober celebration planned for when I get there. Emphasis on the WHEN this time! |
This makes me smile, axeman. :) |
Well I can't hide it anymore. I screwed up. But, things were pretty good yesterday and today. I'm just going to keep plugging. I lucked out and wasn't destroyed. I went to see my friend and it was a nightmare the day it happened. She called about 20 times. She's so scared. When she picks up, she sounds like someone that was kidnapped and put in a cage for month, and a police officer walks in. A very scared, "heeelloooooo???" That's what it feels like to go to her place. Then the police officer has to leave her there. :( If I cut off contact and she dies, or never comes out of this haze, what is my moral responsibility and how do I live with myself?? I also have to do about 6 things to my car. I cannot see pouring more money into the thing, but it's less in the short term to keep it going. Shocks, tie rods, timing belt, and a lighting system. The new mechanic I have makes it doable. Otherwise all that would be $2500. The car is not worth that much, not even close. As it is repairs will be half of that, although I have not received my guy's quote yet. I hate car repairs. Ok, I'll be in touch. -V |
Viper - did you screw up and relapse or screw up by not cutting off that friend? Either way, it will be ok. Just remember the Jerry Maguire quote - "help me help you." If she isn't letting you help, looking for help, or trying to help herself, what's is it all for? Just self centered sympathy? If that's what it is, you aren't responsible for what happens in any way. It sounds cold, but it's true. Be strong! |
Relapse. I cut it short. She's pleading for help. She'll take anything. It's just that it's sooooo draining. It's not narcissistic. She truly doesn't know how to help herself. She's lost with a host of physical and mental issues. She's not 'bad enough' to qualify for any real help or a case worker. If not cleaning at all, living in filth, not showering, not changing clothes, being terrified and hysterical all day and all night, plus bizarre nervous system issues and 2 positive Western Blots for long term Lyme disease isn't serious enough... you need to die before a Crisis Team responds. -V |
V.....you're gonna have to put yourself first or your going to be in no fit state to help anyone else. Does your friend have a Dr? Are you her only human contact? Cars.....hmmm. Could you ditch it and buy a scooter for the cost of the repairs? All the best. |
Does she have insurance or would she need pro bono help? A psychiatrist, psychologist, or a social worker seems to be in order. Or maybe you could try finding a Christian based charity to do outreach. If she is not bathing, changing clothes, living in filth, etc. what can you be expected to do to help?? What are you doing when you answer the phone or go over there? |
Day 30 Going strong. |
Day 42 Going strong too! |
It's a really long story. Yes on insurance Medicare A and Medicaid. Tons of doctors, none of them doing much if anything. Multiple Hospitalizations. A ZILLION ER trips. No support. I AM her only outside person. Her parents have the means, but dropped her at a homeless shelter when she was 18 because of her mental illness. They have kind of been around, but are really being jerks about this. Most of us, I would hope, have family that would help us if we were in such a state. She can't get around. Can't focus to get anything done. She's malnourished, physically and mentally ill, but she doesn't qualify for Crisis Intervention Team or Hospitalization because she doesn't want to kill her self (basically). They want her to pursue Outpatient Programs and she cannot get to them. It's a #%^Storm. I can leave... My booze screw up set off my allergies multiplied by 5000. So there's no free lunch guys!!!! :headbange :D Viper |
Well, do what you feel Is right. Hopefully you can get back on a clean streak with drinking. You should stay in this group though... |
Morning all. Back from Stone Mountain trip. Never got to do anything at the mountain, we spent the whole time in the hotel, in classes. The classes were boring and not very helpful, I ate too much and had an upset tummy, but, I got through without drinking. My group was not a drinking group so I just hung with them at the after hours meetings. I never went to the AA meetings, there really wasn't time except for the first night, and we had a terrible storm that night, hail and driving rain and wind. I was sorry to hear about your relapses Axeman and Viper. Just don't give up, please. It takes what it takes. Kudos to those of us who are hanging in! I'm not getting my step work done. I'm supposed to meet with my sponsor tonight to go over it and I had to admit I had only a bare sketch of it done. I love that she's not giving up on me and just reminds me of my old habit of losing steam and focus, and that I have to get on it. I hope we all have a great sober day. I love waking up without a hangover! One of the things I learned recently is not to get into a conversation with my AV. A simple, "No, not an option" is great, but when I start letting a battle go on in my head, I'm in trouble. |
viper I dunno what the answer is for your friend but I remember that you've reached for the bottle several times over this. I used to do this a lot. I put others welfare ahead of my own. I thought it was noble and romantic but it was really unhealthy. Altruism where we don't give the same regard and standard of care to ourselves as we do to others is disfunctional. You're worth better than what you're giving yourself right now. D |
Welcome back Sober369 :) congrats on your milestones disonant and retired guy ] great going axeman - and hi to PC, Rascal, Canguy :wave: D |
Hi guys! A bit pressed for time this morning. I have an appointment first thing at work. I hate it when things are scheduled right at 9:00. Glad you are having successes Sober, RetiredGuy, Canguy and Disonent! You too, Rascal! Keep posting the good news. :) Viper, I wish I had some magic words to fix your situation. So, so very sad. Dee is right that you have to take care of yourself first. That was a big part of my anxiety program - learning how to say no without letting it tear you up inside. Double hard in your situation. I agree with axeman - stick with us! As I believe in him, I also believe in you. You can do this! Everything going good axeman? We are going out for dinner tonight for my son's birthday. I've been arguing with myself over a glass of wine. Because everything is going so well for me, ya know? So I've been visualizing my liver as one of those organs from those stupid medical drug commercials on tv - the ones that walk around and talk about the drug. My liver is walking around saying "dude! I'm not healthy yet. Just because you feel you can take on the world doesn't mean it's good for me!" Hey, whatever works. rofl |
No hang over this morning! |
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