RetiredGuy

Ax,

Congrats on not drinking last night, I remember once you said making dog food was a trigger.

badger257

F me.... 2 day bender. Today was kind of day 1. I've done this so many times I can tell you exactly how to get "sober" for me while avoiding being completely miserable. 4 beers today, nausea tomorrow, weekend in bed. I need a better plan..... just needed to come clean. :/

PurpleCat

(((badger))). Stick with it and keep trying. You can do this!

Axe, I hope you don't think I'm being too hard on you. I'm glad your dogs aren't fat.

I have an out of town conference tomorrow. Just one day, but I have to get up at 6:00 am so I have time to drive there. Blah.

badger257

Puplecat- thank you. I just feelin sorry for myself. Defeated to say the least. Just feel I am doomed to be a statistic.

PurpleCat

Look at my join date, Badger. You're not doomed - it just takes some of us longer than others.

badger257

I've decided that I need to do a lot more than just not drink. That certainly is the starting point, but I need to tweak my plan to include recovery. Not just sobriety.

Sober369

Great point Badger. I'm trying to do it that way this time, too. So far so good. Sorry you drank, but glad you're back and learning from it! I heard a recovery speaker say, "There are no failures, only feedback". So, when we screw up, we learn from it and move on.
I am so glad it's Friday! I guess I say that every Friday. I am getting ready for a trip to see my dad next week. I dread it with every part of me. He has a fridge full of beer, and he's extremely self centered and hot headed. I would rather go anywhere but there, but he needs me and I'll go. I just have to get really well prepared first.
Happy day everyone!

axeman5971

It's ok. I need tough love. Biggest goal is not drinking at all this weekend. I know I can do it. Whatever it takes.

nexttime

Don't let a set back deter you Badger! or anyone else for that matter! You have a ton of tools for the sober part. I could not agree more about "I've decided that I need to do a lot more than just not drink. That certainly is the starting point, but I need to tweak my plan to include recovery. Not just sobriety. " I think this is a HUGE deal for all of us. Trying to find something, anything, so that life can transition to something with meaning and benefits rather than just the physical benefits of being dry! Time to spread some wings and delve more into recovery for me. I think sobriety and recovery are extremely related obviously but also are different animals. It feels like some in this class already understand it but this was a bit of an eye opener for me.

canguy

Axe....just enjoy a different weekend. Give yourself and wife a change. Don't think too much about not drinking, just enjoy a change, your not missing out on anything.

Back to it Badger.....every time sober is really a 'dry run' for eventual sobriety.

Which is how I've tried to look at it rather than beat myself up over my failures and assume its not possible for me. Trying to see sobriety as learned behaviour.....and I'm like many here. Bit of a slow leaner....

Anyway,

Early Saturday morning for me now. Yesterday was of course The Dreaded Friday Afternoon. I thought about drinking, I was out, the city had that late Friday afternoon buzz, bars busy, people around. I'd finished a couple of days work. Pressure off. This was a classic drinking moment.....yes, wouldn't it be good.

But it really felt different, All the cues, all the triggers were present and correct. But the consequences outweighed the temptation....by a lot. Just really didn't want to go back there.

Came home....have learned to get busy and refocus on something else. Sure, the evening was solitary....but I achieved something, worked my way further through the computer prog. I'm learning. Got to the interesting bits. Soon it was 10pm. Yawning go to bed. Wake up early, sober no hangover. And its another day.....

Disonant

Hello everyone, still sober and doing just ok. Don't have much to do at work, and have the weekend off. Not really looking forward to it. I've got plenty to do but, I need something. I don't know what.
I'll head to some meetings and hopefully my perspective will change.

badger257

Thanks everyone. Just soooo much work this is, and soooo much to fix, gets me down at times. (Funny how you forget how much WORK it takes to stay drunk, but staying sober seems impossible... wierd)

Anyway. I am sober today, and that will have to good enough for now.

I wonder, do the people that are no longer in our class back to drinking? Or do they figure it out and move on? I like reading everyone's posts, and wonder how others that were once here are doing. Just the thought of the day.

RetiredGuy

Congrats Canguy, being around people drinking in bars on a Friday afternoon is a pretty big temptation. It seems to me the more the days add up the less desire I have to drink which is a good thing.

canguy

They'd be drinking ......

So right......drinking is really hard work. Getting it. Getting over it. Getting rid of the empties. Having to avoid so many situations and people. Trying to make amends for the situations and people you didn't avoid. Trying to keep it together when you can't and the feeling like sh*t. Living every 24 hours for the 4 or 5 that you're conscious and drunk.

Its hard going.

Viperidae

I have no clue how I made it through yesterday and today, but at a certain point something kicked in that said "Get your a$$ home now!!" When I got on the freeway and was away from the city, I had a feeling of relief and I grabbed for my benzo in the backpack and swigged some water on road.

It was a stressful day. I got my sick friend to the doctor and she was absolutely 'hysterical.' Crying the entire time. Of course I landed in the center of downtown in the city when I dropped her off at 3:30 and I managed to get out. There's nothing I can do for her. When I was halfway back to my house I told myself to just get back and stay there.

Well I really worked hard to get my car prices down and my father took notice of my work and offered to kick in a huge portion of the bill. Oh my God, what a relief. Uuuuugggghhhhh.

Now I can replace my warped front brakes too. The mechanic will throw the installation in with the job. Napa has a high quality rotor and pad setup at about $150.

I've been up at 7:30a.m every day. I learned Google Spread Sheets yesterday morning and analyzed all of my prices and made invoices (never could have done that drinking). I've made about 20 phone calls. This is a great project to sink my teeth into right now.

I talked to my Doctor of Integrstive Medicine (for my immune issues) today and told her about how I feel, like something good is coming out of my chest. She totally gets it. It's like a rebirth feeling, She congratulated me. Then she recommended more AA meetings and put it in my Treatment Plan gggrrrrrrr. So it's in the computer. I'm sure it already was.

Ok talk later. I'm scared to count days because I don't want to jinx it. Just keep going.

-V

.

canguy

Hang in there Viper. Its not such a great day here either....

You did good.

PurpleCat

(((Canguy))) sorry you are having (had? Not sure of the time difference) a bad day.

I don't think I could have survived today if I had still been drinking. Nothing horrible - in fact, fairly enjoyable - but up so early and going all day and two long drives....much better with no muzziness from the night before

Dee74

Hang in there all you guys - lets make this a sober weekend

D

Viperidae

Yup, I'm trying to plan it.

Late night for me. The University of CT Girls Basketball team is undefeated 111 games in a row. Mississippi State is hammering them . Brutal team. It just went to overtime. Can't watch anymore, tired. I like the girls because it's great for our State and women all over the country.

Daucuscarota

Sober Day # 55 after being dependent on wine, daily, for years.
************************************************** ******************

Hi Class, Just checking in. I've been swamped with work.
Something very happy happened in my family-----the kind of thing I would have opened a bottle of champagne over, in the old days. This time it was just seltzer, but it is wonderful to be happy.

Canguy---- Proud of you that you walked away from the Friday drinkers.
Ax & Badger----it's good you keep coming back.
Viper---hang in there.
PC---I get it. The long days are easier now.

This ^^^ means a lot to me, it means that I have really finally quit for good.

This^^^^^ is the secret for all of us.

To anyone who I forgot to mention: keep standing strong.

We can do this together.
Hope we all have a great sober weekend.