Class of February 2017 Support Thread Part 4
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Hi all. Just checking in. I'm looking at the backside of a very busy work week, and the weekend won't be slowing down either. Eek!
Will be at a hotel tomorrow for work. I need to make sure I have good stuff to drink because, like others have said, hotels are great places to think about having a bad drink!
Will be at a hotel tomorrow for work. I need to make sure I have good stuff to drink because, like others have said, hotels are great places to think about having a bad drink!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NM
Posts: 144
Hope you're still with us badger.
Don't let the motorcycle deal get you down Viper. If that's what you want persistence can still make it happen.
I think you got the hotel situation well in hand PC. The plan in place before you get there is huge.
My sleep patterns are starting to change again. I am beginning to wake up before my alarm goes off. I haven't been that way since I was a little kid. Actually show up to work a few minutes early. Co workers think I'm sick because I was always 10 after 6 every morning. If they only knew.
Have a good day everyone
Don't let the motorcycle deal get you down Viper. If that's what you want persistence can still make it happen.
I think you got the hotel situation well in hand PC. The plan in place before you get there is huge.
My sleep patterns are starting to change again. I am beginning to wake up before my alarm goes off. I haven't been that way since I was a little kid. Actually show up to work a few minutes early. Co workers think I'm sick because I was always 10 after 6 every morning. If they only knew.
Have a good day everyone
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
Sober Day # 82 after being dependent on wine, daily, for years.
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I strongly recommend that everyone read this thread (it is not long):
TIQ aka THIQ
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-aka-thiq.html
It explains why we cannot ever "just have one drink" again.
************************************************** *****************
I strongly recommend that everyone read this thread (it is not long):
TIQ aka THIQ
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-aka-thiq.html
It explains why we cannot ever "just have one drink" again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
I'm feeling stronger mentally, and more conviction about not drinking. I guess I am not taking my friend to the hospital far away. It stabs my heart to think about it. She was putting all of her hopes into this and without me, she can't do it. I'm 90% sure this would result in a 'it's never enough scenario,' when I returned. I thought things would be ok before December when I cleaned out her whole place and got her settled in. It wasn't enough.
I understand that she may have a progressing physical disease, but why is this on my shoulders? Why is it my burden? I made it my burden. There isn't anyone else. I think this is leading to a really bad situation, Mayo Clinic work-up or not, and I can either be there to watch hideous deterioration, the lose off her apartment and life and her ended up in some hideous home. Or spare myself and stay the F away. I know so well what's it's like to be this desperate and alone. It really hurts me to see this.
DEE- You're right. Something else usually comes along, but it won't be better than this and nothing will be equipped like this. Especially for about 4 grand (cheap). There's 3 within 150 miles of me online, and none of them are are like that one. I was really looking forward to a new thing in my life. A relaxing hobby, lots to learn, and getaway vehicle I could take into the woods and to my friend's cabins.
But the same thing happened with my car and the person pulled out of the deal days later. This car ended up being the worst vehicle I could have imagined with monumental equipment failures. So I wish the other person took it. But, the car model was known for this, unlike this bike.
Talk later.
V
I understand that she may have a progressing physical disease, but why is this on my shoulders? Why is it my burden? I made it my burden. There isn't anyone else. I think this is leading to a really bad situation, Mayo Clinic work-up or not, and I can either be there to watch hideous deterioration, the lose off her apartment and life and her ended up in some hideous home. Or spare myself and stay the F away. I know so well what's it's like to be this desperate and alone. It really hurts me to see this.
DEE- You're right. Something else usually comes along, but it won't be better than this and nothing will be equipped like this. Especially for about 4 grand (cheap). There's 3 within 150 miles of me online, and none of them are are like that one. I was really looking forward to a new thing in my life. A relaxing hobby, lots to learn, and getaway vehicle I could take into the woods and to my friend's cabins.
But the same thing happened with my car and the person pulled out of the deal days later. This car ended up being the worst vehicle I could have imagined with monumental equipment failures. So I wish the other person took it. But, the car model was known for this, unlike this bike.
Talk later.
V
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Morning people,
Pity about the bike Vipe. But you will find another when the moment is right.
Good to see you here again Badger......I can't add anything useful to what has already been said.....it's all there really. You are fortunate that your kids are not yet of an age where their attitude to you is fixed as a childhood memory.
I had a friend who's father was an alcoholic, friend and his brothers would go around to his house and throw empties in his garden when they were kids. You're not there yet.
Day 81....another weekend looming here. Closing in on The 90.....thinking a bit about it now. Might need a plan for Day 91....y'know what I mean?
Interesting link Dau......read an interesting book on this chemical dependency aspect of alcoholism. Once a little sober, its very easy to fall off it, but so hard to get back on. This is a reason why.
Knowing this has been something that has helped me resist drinking, specially just lately. Really had some moments. But not physical cravings. Still got the old mental pattern of wanting the momentary reward.
Surprised by its persistence, actually.
But its not happening today. Start with coffee.....end with chocolate. Keep up those sugars. lol
Later
Pity about the bike Vipe. But you will find another when the moment is right.
Good to see you here again Badger......I can't add anything useful to what has already been said.....it's all there really. You are fortunate that your kids are not yet of an age where their attitude to you is fixed as a childhood memory.
I had a friend who's father was an alcoholic, friend and his brothers would go around to his house and throw empties in his garden when they were kids. You're not there yet.
Day 81....another weekend looming here. Closing in on The 90.....thinking a bit about it now. Might need a plan for Day 91....y'know what I mean?
Interesting link Dau......read an interesting book on this chemical dependency aspect of alcoholism. Once a little sober, its very easy to fall off it, but so hard to get back on. This is a reason why.
Knowing this has been something that has helped me resist drinking, specially just lately. Really had some moments. But not physical cravings. Still got the old mental pattern of wanting the momentary reward.
Surprised by its persistence, actually.
But its not happening today. Start with coffee.....end with chocolate. Keep up those sugars. lol
Later
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
Sober Day # 82 after being dependent on wine, daily, for years.
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Hi Canguy,
Agree. I too am not having physical cravings, but the idea does enter my mind from time to time, especially when there is something to celebrate, or when there is a tragedy, or when I have finished a big job, as a reward. The main reason I am afraid to EVER have another glass of wine, is because I am afraid I will never be able to quit again. This feels like my last chance.
You & I are at about the same point in our sobriety-----interesting that we see it the same way.
************************************************** *****************
Hi Canguy,
Interesting link Dau......read an interesting book on this chemical dependency aspect of alcoholism. Once a little sober, its very easy to fall off it, but so hard to get back on. This is a reason why. Knowing this has been something that has helped me resist drinking, specially just lately. Really had some moments. But not physical cravings. Still got the old mental pattern of wanting the momentary reward.
Surprised by its persistence, actually.
Surprised by its persistence, actually.
You & I are at about the same point in our sobriety-----interesting that we see it the same way.
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Made it through the night at the hotel with just water....and Taco Bell and an ice cream cone. I think I overdid the junk food....urp!
Dau, what you said about the wine is what I've said for years about cigarettes. It was so damn hard that if I ever started again I'd never quit. Wouldn't dream of having one now, though, 18 years later.
As for alcohol, I'm still ambivalent about never having another glass. It's still in my mind that now that I've broken the daily habit it would be ok when my liver heals. But the fact that my liver got there in the first place should give me pause. So I stay away in hopes that with time it won't even be worth the bother (which is how I feel about caffeine).
For those of you who don't go out of here much, here's Badger's thread from yesterday: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-hopeful.html
Dau, what you said about the wine is what I've said for years about cigarettes. It was so damn hard that if I ever started again I'd never quit. Wouldn't dream of having one now, though, 18 years later.
As for alcohol, I'm still ambivalent about never having another glass. It's still in my mind that now that I've broken the daily habit it would be ok when my liver heals. But the fact that my liver got there in the first place should give me pause. So I stay away in hopes that with time it won't even be worth the bother (which is how I feel about caffeine).
For those of you who don't go out of here much, here's Badger's thread from yesterday: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-hopeful.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
PC, thanks for posting Badger's link, I would have missed it.
I am really enjoying my trip and managing to catch a few trout now and then. I am pleased that I am not missing the booze as much as I expected (at least not for now).
Drove through a small town yesterday called Axmann, PA. Could that be the home of Axman?
I am off to fish Penn's Creek for the afternoon. Take care everyone.
I am really enjoying my trip and managing to catch a few trout now and then. I am pleased that I am not missing the booze as much as I expected (at least not for now).
Drove through a small town yesterday called Axmann, PA. Could that be the home of Axman?
I am off to fish Penn's Creek for the afternoon. Take care everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Dau, the hospital let her go in 2 days. They wanted to put her on Thorazine which has no application here. It just knocks you out. She isn't Micheal Meyers. Social workers are useless.
Just hoping everyone here is ok. I'm totally exhausted right now. Every day I crash out. The sun is out though and I'm going to get some. It rained and was cold for 4 solid days. More rain to come. Depresssing. Living with my folks is depressing.
Hopefully another day of 2 sober and this exhaustion will turn around. Because of Sunday this is 5 days.
Just hoping everyone here is ok. I'm totally exhausted right now. Every day I crash out. The sun is out though and I'm going to get some. It rained and was cold for 4 solid days. More rain to come. Depresssing. Living with my folks is depressing.
Hopefully another day of 2 sober and this exhaustion will turn around. Because of Sunday this is 5 days.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
Vipe,
During my life, it has always helped me to sit down with a paper and pencil and make a plan.
Set a goal and then divide it up into steps.
If you don't know what you want to do:
pick something you like and that you are good at, and figure out how to build your life around it.
I always feel better when I am working on my plan.
During my life, it has always helped me to sit down with a paper and pencil and make a plan.
Set a goal and then divide it up into steps.
If you don't know what you want to do:
pick something you like and that you are good at, and figure out how to build your life around it.
I always feel better when I am working on my plan.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 118
Day 66
Doing well, still hanging on.
Winding down the work week, get to go home early today and they canceled the weekend. My first thought was, great! I get all day Saturday to rest, and I could get some beer and just drink all day!
D'oh....
Ugh, damn brain, what the heck? Haha.
It's funny, (kind of, but not really) in my mind I feel like I've been sober for 20 years, but in actuality, it's only been 2 months. 2 months of sobriety versus over 2 decades of drinking, and nonchalantly I'm cured all of a sudden. It's amazing, hope alcohol doesn't run for president, we all would be chomping at the bit to destroy ourselves.
Guses I got some more work to do.
Talk to everyone tomorrow.
Winding down the work week, get to go home early today and they canceled the weekend. My first thought was, great! I get all day Saturday to rest, and I could get some beer and just drink all day!
D'oh....
Ugh, damn brain, what the heck? Haha.
It's funny, (kind of, but not really) in my mind I feel like I've been sober for 20 years, but in actuality, it's only been 2 months. 2 months of sobriety versus over 2 decades of drinking, and nonchalantly I'm cured all of a sudden. It's amazing, hope alcohol doesn't run for president, we all would be chomping at the bit to destroy ourselves.
Guses I got some more work to do.
Talk to everyone tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Finished a large-ish project today at the Day Job. This deadline comes around six times per year, so it's the second I've done without drinking afterwards. Oh, drinking afterwards. Friday, happy hour, post-production here in the craft beer bubble of the south. Gotta say the AV was yapping a bit.
Anyway. Came home and went for a jog. Things are much better now.
Anyway. Came home and went for a jog. Things are much better now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Dau, thanks. I don't know what I want to do. I spent a decent amount of time researching tech schools today as a English Degree from high end school gives me no immediate practical skills. Except that I can learn very quickly. Those tough schools do that for you.
I'd love to learn motocycle repair. There is real school, but it's not too cheap. It seems the way to do it, is to get an old beat bike tear it apart and restore the thing with books etc. I supposed I could ask a a shop if I can work for free. There isn't much for little private shops around here.
Even auditing classes at my old school would be nice. I get to take whatever I want for about $150, and that's crazy consider tuition prices.
I'd like a skill that I can take anywhere. I'd like to call a contact that works with NGO's worldwide and ask what skill should I get? I also have a 'friend' that's worked in Africa for a long time. My friend's aunt. Maybe she can hook me up. All I want is to do something rewarding and get free room and a tiny amount of money.
Motorcycle riding comes in because that's how you get around in Africa and South America. Being able to fix them would be even more helpful. There's a bare bones BMW in MA for a nice low price. Who knows.
If I stay the course, something good will come.
Vipe
I'd love to learn motocycle repair. There is real school, but it's not too cheap. It seems the way to do it, is to get an old beat bike tear it apart and restore the thing with books etc. I supposed I could ask a a shop if I can work for free. There isn't much for little private shops around here.
Even auditing classes at my old school would be nice. I get to take whatever I want for about $150, and that's crazy consider tuition prices.
I'd like a skill that I can take anywhere. I'd like to call a contact that works with NGO's worldwide and ask what skill should I get? I also have a 'friend' that's worked in Africa for a long time. My friend's aunt. Maybe she can hook me up. All I want is to do something rewarding and get free room and a tiny amount of money.
Motorcycle riding comes in because that's how you get around in Africa and South America. Being able to fix them would be even more helpful. There's a bare bones BMW in MA for a nice low price. Who knows.
If I stay the course, something good will come.
Vipe
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 793
Hey everybody... just wanted to say thank you for all of the thoughts.
Just an update...I am scheduled to go to inpatient rehab on monday morning. I am really scared about it, but this is something I want, need, and have to do. I have proven that I can not do this on my own, and have been trying to just not drink, and have no coping skills for all of the other problems in my life. I am not sure if I will have my.phone or not, but I will keep everyone posted if possible. Wish me luck.
Just an update...I am scheduled to go to inpatient rehab on monday morning. I am really scared about it, but this is something I want, need, and have to do. I have proven that I can not do this on my own, and have been trying to just not drink, and have no coping skills for all of the other problems in my life. I am not sure if I will have my.phone or not, but I will keep everyone posted if possible. Wish me luck.
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