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Class of January 2017 Support Thread Part 5

Old 04-27-2017, 06:15 PM
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J9: A lot of my Canadian friends from the good ol' days in Winnipeg would go to Cuba seemingly 2 or 3 times a year and the party element seemed like part of the draw.

I would definitely want a plan for non-drinking activities. I mean, I would want every hour planned out with trips etc. I wouldn't want to be stuck hanging around the pool all day...

What's the current position with your friend? You surely have to explain to her that sobriety is your #1 priority and that you absolutely cannot let anything compromise that. I would be super firm about it. I know this is a friend, but we are only a few months in. You are entitled to be selfish when it is so important!
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Old 04-28-2017, 02:08 AM
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Thank you Dee and MMT for your advice. I have started to draft up an itinerary to keep me busy for the week and away from temptation. Oh boy, this is going to be a hard one...what a pickle I have gotten myself into. I am hoping to find a fun group of people for her to drink with so that the pressure is off me as I want her to have a good time, that way she won't even care whether I am drinking or not. It is so weird to me that while I was drinking that I planned everything around it and now everything to avoid it. What an upside-down life! Happy Friday everyone....J9
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Old 04-28-2017, 02:26 AM
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Day 118.
Hi J9.
It is good that you raised it here, with the team that is on this journey with you. We have come a long way. I really know nothing about long term sobriety but I can give my 2 cents since you asked.

I would suggest that now, this dilemma you are feeling about what to do, is being driven by you still being a drunk. Like me. This is your AV. The money you spent on the trip is nothing compared to the 90 day sober achievement list you posted. That was such a wonderful testament to your achievement and not worth risking for anything.

The best idea might be to cancel such a risky trip
To agree with MrM, at the very least, tell your friend you don't drink now. Offer not not go. If she presses you to go and drink maybe just flat out and tell her your situation. If she is a friend she will be cool with it. Maybe even, in time, seeing how your life has turned around, she may feel she should consider something similar for herself.

Our January class is a little smaller now so we will selfishly fight to keep you on track, J9 !

My day yesterday was good. I have less scribbles this week Fingers crossed.

Have a wonderful, healthy and sober spring Friday, classmates. One more day.
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Old 04-28-2017, 05:18 AM
  # 244 (permalink)  
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Ggod posts, good to keep thread running.
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Old 04-28-2017, 05:13 PM
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Day 118,

J9, you are not alone. Next Friday I'm also going on vacation to Florida to meet up with my family. Although it's not Cuba where I know from experience the temptation to drink is insane, I'm still trying to prepare myself for the late night dinners where wine is usually flowing in copious amounts. My advice for Cuba would be to get up early and make the most of each day.....maybe plan some excursions off resort. (a little pricey but worth it. ) I often found when down there the days I drank the least were when I was really active in the day. By night all I wanted to do was sleep and get up to make the most of the next day. Also books for the beach!! As for your friend, she will have no problem finding other people that drink down there....they're everywhere. As soon as you check in maybe see if there's an internet cafe that you can use to check in here Or see if there's a plan your phone provider offers for Cuba? I made the mistake of not getting one thinking I'd simply go on facebook here and there....yeah...it gets a little pricey Also, for some reason, it was a struggle finding bottled water all the time...so if you see someone going around with some ask for extra for your room

I'm also making a plan for my trip. My twin sister is bringing her 11mth old baby that I don't get to see often, so I've offered to babysit whenever she needs a break. I'm also bringing books and making plans to do stuff throughout the day.
Believe me, J9, I've had the same thoughts....just this vacation and then back on track....but I keep trying to remember to play the tape forward...I'd get back and then it would be summer....You're in Ontario too....it would be patio season....then street festivals., etc. I did this trip a couple of years ago with my family and I wasted so many days by being hungover! Missing prime sun hours cause I'd be sleeping and then just lounging around like a lump on a log. I don't want to make that mistake again We can do this!!!!

I hope everyone is having a great Friday!!!
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Old 04-29-2017, 05:54 AM
  # 246 (permalink)  
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Day 96... DLB, Thank you for being so candid. I have thought about cancelling this trip, but I really need to get away and rest and re-fuel as I have been unbelievably consumed by work and this crazy-busy-stressful daily grind. I will figure out a way to get through this trip...I have to.

Ina, we're almost neighbours! I live in Hamilton and work in Oakville so the draw to patios in the Summer is huge since we have such a short window of nice weather to take advantage of it. Thank you for your advice. My plan is to get up early while away and walk the beach and explore ...Days by the pool = DANGER ...so they will be limited. Love, love reading...taking lots of books with me... and plan on finding the rowdiest group at the first opportunity for my friend to hook up with ...LOL. I am going to look into finding an internet café while there....would miss you guys too much if I wasn't able to log in daily...I truly hope that you enjoy your trip with your family in Florida...maybe you could find some "decent" de-alcoholized wine (urban myth) while away and hanging out with your lovely baby niece sounds heavenly!...Anyways, have a great weekend all!...Mine is full of cleaning (yuck), ball hockey for the kids, and routine errands. Will check in tomorrow to see how everyone is doing....J9
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Old 04-29-2017, 06:08 AM
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I had a another thought J9. I don't know if you are sharing a room with your friend, but how about making sure there is no booze in the room?! You can ask the hotel to have it removed. It might seem OTT but I think you are right to be nervous and should do everything you can to prioritize your recovery.

You might also want to read this thread that you predicament reminded me of:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-vacation.html
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Old 04-29-2017, 06:26 AM
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MMT... Thank you for the tip about removing booze from the room. I hadn't even thought about that!!...I will definitely read the thread you have graciously provided.

DLB, I meant to also meant to say that I keep going back to my 90 day list as a reminder of everything that I have gained and am grateful for...you're right, nothing is worth losing these gifts for. Thank you for wanting to keep me around and on track!!!...now back to cleaning, blah. J9
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Old 04-29-2017, 02:41 PM
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J9, that is certainly a difficult situation. I think you have received a lot of great advice here!

I will add here to give your friend the benefit of the doubt, and talk to her sooner than later. I have found that overwhelmingly people who I discuss this with are very supportive, and thankful that I talked to them about it. You may be surprised and find that she will help you stay the course. And she is of course free to do what she wants in terms of drinking.

I would also suggest trying new foods and some fun virgin drinks! You can still have a festive fruity beverage without having alcohol in it.

And appreciate the beauty of the place as well! I have never been to Cuba, but can only imagine how lovely the beaches must be.

Have a wonderful sober weekend Januarians.
NACN
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Old 04-29-2017, 05:49 PM
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Day 119.
Just super quick checkin as I had internet problems this morning and have been unable to checkin until now.

J9, so many of us are routing for you here, whatever you decide, we are here. And thank you for being smart enough to raise it here. All of us need your strength.

You have contributed so much to my own sobriety journey , and I am sure many others in our class. You are so on top of this and I suppose I need to remind myself of that. I am a natural worrier

Have a good night all. One more night.
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Old 04-29-2017, 09:15 PM
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119 here too
Went to see the Blue Jays play today! First sober baseball game and I'm happy to report it was a lot of fun!! And sooooooooooo much cheaper!!!!! Still ended up paying six dollars for a fountain pop....but compared to before that's nothing. Now I'm up late getting some work done. Content in sobriety lately, which for some reason makes me on edge....haha....like I'm thinking it's the calm before the storm. I think I'm just so grateful for my sobriety, it makes me also very protective of it if that makes sense. Anyways, hope you all are enjoying your weekend!!
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Old 04-30-2017, 07:27 AM
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Day 120.
A really quick checkin as I run out of the door.
Baseball sounds like a lot of fun, Ina. I seem to remember the exorbitant prices of beverages at sporting arenas.

After a relatively stress free week I allowed myself a lay in today and remembered I had agreed to a brunch with some friends. Neither of them are drinkers either so all good.

Have a wonderful, healthy and sober day all.
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Old 04-30-2017, 09:45 AM
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Day 97 - It is a really cold, dreary day here....just hanging inside for the most part with the kids, hubby just left for Finland for a week...feeling unsettled....blah, not a good sober day for me. Quick check in...maybe will take a nap. Will be happy when this day is over. J9
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Old 04-30-2017, 12:31 PM
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Keep going j9 --- I hit 100 today and it feels good!

The Blue Jays, Ina? Last I heard, the (cr*ppy) pension plan from my old work is an investor in them, so I own the tiniest fraction of a brick of the stadium.

Spent the whole day digging up an overgrown garden so I'm exhausted right now! Great time to be on the farm. The (real) farmer next door came and ploughed our field yesterday so we have a lot of work ahead...
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Old 04-30-2017, 03:51 PM
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some serious numbers being posted here - congrats to all you guys!

D
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Old 04-30-2017, 08:25 PM
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End of Day 118.

Way to go on 100 days MrM!! The gardening sounds exhausting but rewarding.

Well, so far we have had 6 performances and things seem to be going well, crowds seem to be enjoying. Today was a two show day so I am pretty tired, but it feels good to be hanging out on the couch. Monday is our day off, so I have the day to myself (more or less!) tomorrow.

Will check in more tomorrow, but just wanted to quickly pop in here! I've been following but don't always get the chance to post!

Here's to a new, healthy, sober week!!
NACN
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Old 05-01-2017, 04:37 AM
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Day 121.
My internet is still down so on my crappy phone to check in. This is no way to type !!

All good other than that. Again, Sunday night sleeping was as erratic as ever so stayed in bed longer to catch up.

Well done MrM on the century ! Quite an innings!

Still fighting to motivate myself at work to get better. And learn more. Making the most of being sober and get back to seeing positive changes around me again. I refuse to feel down in the dumps with so much good stuff happening.

Have a healthy, sober and inspiring week classmates.
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Old 05-01-2017, 06:56 AM
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Congrats MMT on hitting 100!!...Have a great week everyone! Gotta run..J9
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Old 05-02-2017, 02:21 AM
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Day 122.
Finally back to my desktop after being confined to posting from my phone the last few days.

I have been thinking recently that the daily or weekly changes I was experiencing as I gave up booze over the first few months were motivational. I could see and feel myself getting better.
As the changes tapered off and became normal life, so the flat, depressed feeling settled in. I wasn't seeing the frequency of good things happening, the rewards for not getting drunk every night.

I think the key, for me, will be to focus on finding short term goals again. Seeing changes in life that are only possible while being sober. Not being drunk is great but also achieving things to give me those happy, frequent, motivational milestones is the next step, I feel.

It is kind of hard to explain, and I am sure I am doing a terrible job doing so, but I miss seeing the day-to-day and week-to-week changes in my everyday life that came with new sobriety. Planning those back into my life, somehow.

I have a few ideas . I have a creative job and hobbies around that so there are ways to do this, I feel.

- Sorry for the long post this morning. Just figuring stuff out loud.

Have a really happy, healthy and creative day Januarians. One more day.
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Old 05-02-2017, 03:36 AM
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Hi all! Sorry I haven't been posting - still doing my daily threads but when I'm not working I try to stay off the computer as much as possible.

I just wanted to stop by and say hi! Haven't had time to catch up on everything but hopefully will this week now that I'm back at work full time...

Hope you're all still doing well!
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