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Class of January 2017 Support Thread Part 5

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Old 04-23-2017, 06:15 AM
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Magnificent J9! I'm proud f you!

Love the list, too. It's all too easy to take all these things for granted, so writing them down is nice!
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Old 04-23-2017, 06:45 AM
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Thank you so much MMT! I am cautiously floating on a cloud today!! Trying to figure out what to do to celebrate! I am sooo proud of you as well! I think only we can truly understand what a huge accomplishment this is. My significant other is looking at my like I have 4 heads this morning and doesn't quite understand my euphoria... Enjoy the rest of your weekend. J9
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Old 04-23-2017, 08:43 AM
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Aww that's awesome J9! Congrats on 90 days! Day 97 here. Wednesday will be 100! On that day I'm hoping to FINALLY get my drivers license back with the DMV. Praying. Had a drinking dream again last night. Those are sooooo horrible. I believe it's Gods way of telling me I've subconsciously been thinking about drinking and possibly in danger... So he shoves that reminder in my head haha. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Hugs to all!!
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Old 04-23-2017, 04:31 PM
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Day 113 ,

J9 - Massive congrats on reaching 90 days!!!
I really loved going through your list! 90 may seem like just a number but what it represents is truly so much more! What an accomplishment!!!!

Enjoying a lovely Sunday here...slept in as I was at a party till the wee mornings. I honestly had only planned on staying for awhile, but my AV stayed at bay and I ended up dancing and partying away on water and diet coke! I also had a couple people mention how healthy I was looking which was nice and reaffirmed my decision
Many people looked shocked when I told them I wasn't drinking....which to be honest, I think that was the reaction I needed to see. It's really easy to say to myself after a few months "oh, I wasn't drinking that much, was I?" or "I wasn't that bad". The fact that many people have practically never seen me out sober until last night was a reminder of where I do not want to go back to!

Anyways, I hope you all are enjoying the weekend!!!!
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Old 04-24-2017, 03:55 AM
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Day 114.
Well done J9. A lovely post. And a reminder of what we are achieving as we do the day-to-day living. fantastic
Ina, that is great that people have noticed how healthy and happy you are looking. I think I am getting something similar, although it is taking longer than I had wanted/expected.
Cute, I also get the odd drinking dream. They come out of the blue and wake me with a jolt. Once I get up, make my coffee, I realise they are a good thing and would only happen sober. We are keeping our fingers crossed for your driving licence situation. That will be a huge milestone.
Mr M. Glad things are going well.

I am so late this morning. Sundays are typically bad sleep nights so I dozed longer today and rushing around like a mad man. I am in need of a stress free work week so will be going for it.
Have a healthy, sober and fun week all. one more day.
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Old 04-24-2017, 04:49 AM
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Thank you Cute, Ina, and DLB!...Good luck Cute with the DMV today! Let us know how you make out. Ina, I am sure you look absolutely radiant! Next phase for me is to mend physically. Haven't lost the weight that I anticipated when cutting out the wine from my life...this said, I am sure that my daily 'cheesies' fix hasn't helped much with the equation either...lol. Now it's time to get off my arse and back into a daily workout routine. Happy Monday All!! J9
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Old 04-24-2017, 06:48 PM
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Just came home from dinner out with a friend... we ordered the same meal but her bill was $70 and mine $25 with the notable difference being 35 oz of wine vs. 16 oz club soda.... guess who's going shopping tomorrow???!!! Good night guys. Hope everyone survived Monday. J9
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Old 04-25-2017, 01:16 AM
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Day 115.
Quick check in as not a huge amount to write about. Just beginning my week. Doing OK so far. Trying to get my work week back to being as happy and fulfilling as it used to be. Small steps I suppose. I am sober, hangover free and happy so everything is possible if i get my attitude correct.

Thinking of all my fellow Januarians. Have a great one. One more day.
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Old 04-25-2017, 05:07 AM
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Day 92

Good morning everyone!... DLB, when you say that you need to get your work week back to being as happy and fulfilling as it used to be, do you mean that it was the drinking aspect that made it that way? I know for myself, the work weeks are long and need "something" to spice/vary them up a bit to fill the huge void that drinking consumed. Is there something that you can join/do to give you something to look forward to in the evenings?

My hubby-equivalent travels a lot for his job which leaves me with a trying commute and shuttling the kids to sports and their part time after school jobs which completely stresses me out and was probably the biggest reason why I relied heavily on wine for my "Calgon, take me away" after getting home for the night and not having to go anywhere. (Insert Pity Party here)...Thinking I/we could probably benefit a lot by scheduling "me" appointments in our days...as they probably won't happen otherwise. Wow, that was a lot of rambling for a Tuesday morning!

Cute, how did you make out with your license? For someone I don't know...I thought about how you fared a lot yesterday.

Have a good one!
J9
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Old 04-25-2017, 10:42 AM
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Day 113 and the scribble has returned

I'm hoping it is just weather related. It is wet, chilly and just plain yucky out there today. I feel like just wrapping up in a blanket and vegging out on the couch. Also, I feel sooooooo tired. And yesterday was my day off!

I thought that once I stopped drinking I would have a burst of energy and would be able to take on anything! And honestly, sometimes I do feel much more energetic. I am back into exercising just about every day, and health wise have been doing pretty well. But then there are days when I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Like today.

I will just take it as part of the process. Rehearsal tonight with photos, invited audience on Wednesday, then audiences start on Thursday. So I will have to find the energy somewhere!

Thinking about my fellow Januarians all the time. Have a happy sober day.
NACN
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Old 04-25-2017, 11:03 AM
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Sorry to hear the dreaded scribble has returned NACN. It's frustrating as I certainly thought being sober would fix everything immediately, but sometimes it is tough.

I'm still not sure whether to blame my generally (mildly) depressed and stressed state on ongoing recovery. Only time will tell. It is a while before my next doctor's appointment, but I'm personally not sure if I am still suffering from something underlying...

That said, some people here talk about taking months (even years) to level out after quitting. I did read in The Addicted Brain by Micheal Kuhar that it takes over a year for neurotransmission to normalize in monkeys with long term exposure to cocaine. So that suggests to me at least that PAWS or whatever you like to call it is probably a real thing on some level at least.

Here, the weather has been better here and I'm getting the garden set up for the summer, which is the most exciting time of year for me. Working outside in the sun yesterday did prompt a pretty serious craving for a beer, though... Fairly easily dismissed this time, but I'm worried about complacency now. ..
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Old 04-25-2017, 10:34 PM
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It was a years long process for me - but I have some complicating factors like a mini stroke here and there...

I did feel better after 90 days tho and that continued to progress.

D
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Old 04-26-2017, 01:37 AM
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Day 116.
Thank you J9. I think I probably should have described my thoughts better. I love being home, after work. I do have hobbies and motivation here, but my actual job isn`t as fun as it should be and as it was last year.

My attitude is a bit down at the moment. I too have dreaded scribbles above my head through large parts of the day and am trying to figure out why, and try to not be so prone to depression when things F*up, I suppose.

I also work out, most days as you know. I am probably similar to everyone in our group. I wouldn`t trade this for anything and am so proud of this.

Just at work, I need to get out of this funk. I did at times yesterday, and was happy, and will continue to try again today. I have a way out, just with depression you can easily get locked into paralysis as far as motivation to make things better.

Sorry to be a downer today, classmates I am very much in this and fighting the good fight. No turning back for me , just healing. Like us all.

Thanks Dee for that background. 90 days was better. This is just a down spell probably.

Have a really great, happy, sober and motivated day all. One more day.
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Old 04-26-2017, 11:19 AM
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100 days and license will be good again!!! Good things coming. Now time for a good job. Sober is sexy. :P. Thanks for all the wells wishes !
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Old 04-26-2017, 01:06 PM
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Damn Scribbles!!!!....DLB, we are all "downers" some days. Now it's our turn to listen and be there for you!...Hope you had a better day at work...J9
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Old 04-26-2017, 03:36 PM
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Day 116,

Way to go, Cute!! So happy to hear things are looking up!!! I'm sure a good job is just around the corner

DLB - Sorry to hear you're having a bit of a down time...I hear ya. I think this journey for all of us is a little bit of a rollercoaster, but your positivity is what is important. It honestly helps me every day when I read your posts

Beautiful day here. Took the dog for a nice walk and now back to work. As ever I'm grateful to be sober! Today I painted my nails (finally stopped biting them!) and I noticed my hands weren't shaking. I guess they haven't in awhile, but it reminded me of days at work when I'd be hungover and couldn't keep steady and it would be a constant feeling of shame. Just a small moment, but brought a smile to my face.

Hope you're all having a lovely day!
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Old 04-26-2017, 06:53 PM
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Hooray Cute! Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket... sounds like you are on a roll!

Ina, it's funny how the small moments make us smile! I too love the fact that my hands no longer shake. I also find that my thought process is a lot clearer and am able to better articulate ideas (especially at work) ... How did I even function before?? Have a good night all..J9
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Old 04-27-2017, 01:59 AM
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Day 117.
Thanks J9 & Ina. I honestly think my down phase is very similar to what everyone else in this class faces. I feel very fortunate to have you guys to check in with. And read your posts. None of us are really alone going through this journey. So much of the healing is psychological and unpredictable. I need more patience, probably.

My hands no longer shake either. I used to try to hide them at work also. I remember a few times where people had noticed. I am glad I don't have to worry about that again. Or if I sweat, the dread that I might smell of old booze . Occasionally I smell people who have been drinking for extended periods. I am sure there have been times when I have reeked like that on Mondays or whatever. Even at work.

On a FAR happier note, well done Cute ! That is a great milestone. I was trying to figure out ( drivers licence being awarded aside) when the next numerical milestone is ? 150 I suppose. Are we all through 90 days now ?

My work days have been better this week. I think fatigue and the feeling of "is this all there is" weighed me down at times. Forcing myself to make constructive change, learning new things to help my work performance, even in small amounts, helps my mood.

Have a wonderful, healthy, sober and constructive day classmates. I am so appreciative of you all. One more day.
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Old 04-27-2017, 05:57 AM
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Good morning Crew!... Day 94...Next Milestone for me is 100..Woohoo!

So...One week tomorrow I am heading off to Cuba for this long-dreaded trip I mentioned here several weeks ago...I know, poor me, right? This was planned months ago (pre-sober) with a close friend and former colleague who was "let go" from work and has been a bit down in the dumps trying to find a new job/career. She has never travelled anywhere outside North America, so I "selflessly" volunteered to go with her. Fast forward to today, am trying not to dwell too much on it, but she is a big drinker (as was I) and wants me to "let loose" with her like the good ol' days while we are away ...and to be quite honest, I would love to partake. I know that is totally not what you guys want to here right now, and I am so sorry to be putting "my crap" out there. My AV is telling me that I could isolate my drinking to this trip and go back to my sober life after the week is up. If that were the case, I might consider it...just am a bit terrified to test that slippery slope as I simply can't go back to being "that" person again..........I know what the answer is but would like to hear your thoughts anyways. Have a spectacular day!! J9
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Old 04-27-2017, 04:21 PM
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My AV is telling me that I could isolate my drinking to this trip and go back to my sober life after the week is up.
your AV is a liar.

I thought that too once - school reunion - I'd drink for one night....

it was well over 2 years (of my most destructive drinking ever) before I had an alcohol free day again.

Make a plan. Think of all the likely scenarios you might face and how you could get through them sober.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but there's no need at all for you to cave and drink on this vacation, J9

You can do this

D
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