obosob

Thanks Dee.

Wife's dad is in hospital in the UK. She's blaming me for it. From the fight 3 months ago.

My therapist says I should write them a letter. I just bring myself to do it.

Really things haven't been the same since all of that.

I'm sure it has something to do with me. I know if I had have remained sober since 2014 this probably wouldn't have happened.

So for me it's really back to scratch....

And the reality of what damage I do by even considering drinking....

Mariah thanks again....

Tops and izzy.....speedy recovery for you guys.

Back later with more mental ranting....

Dee74

Personally I'd focus my energies on getting clean and sober and staying that way, Obo.

I can't see any point in sending a letter you don't really mean but if it's causing friction which is leading you to decide to drink just send the damn thing and get back to priorities.

D

obosob

That's what I'm going to do right now Dee.

Heading into town to use the computer.

Time to put this behind me....

Back later.

freein14

Focus like a laser beam on your sobriety, as if your life depends on it.....It really is that serious.

You'll get back to sanity soon Obo, just focus on your next step, keep moving forward. Nothing can stop you if you stay focused <3

Mariah, I love the fact that you love your job - it gives me a lot of hope and inspiration
I'm going to join you outside in the evenings, the clocks go forward at the weekend (I think) so we'll have an hour extra daylight after work.
Have a great day all.

obosob

Thanks Freein. My mind is all over the shop.

Letter written and posted. That's that.

End of another day here. 2nd day sober.

A Yoga Nidra. Then sleep.

See you tomorrow.

Dee74

Now you can work on that laser beam focus obo

D

freein14

Your mind will calm down very soon Obo. Just stick with your plan, and let time and sobriety be your healer.
(The great thing is...both time and sobriety are free! How's that for a winning combination?)

MariahGayle

Busy morning.....will post later. Lunch break is over

obosob

Good stuff Mariah. Busy is good.

Laser beam focus. That's the new Obosob.

London. Wow. Lone wolf attacks are imminent everywhere I think.

Feel a fraction better. Made coffee and toast for the wife this morning.

Time to forgive and move on.....

Thanks again for the support you guys. It's good to be back...

freein14

That's a great start, Laser Beam Obo.

The news is upsetting. We knew that London would be a target at some point. The police and emergency services have done a good job trying to keep us safe. But like you say these loan terrorists are difficult to uncover. I don't understand how people can be radicalized so easily - they can't all be psychopaths surely?

I'm out for a walk with a friend this morning. She's also interested in Eckhart Tolle teachings - we'll be doing a "presence walk", trying to stay in state of awareness and not drift in to unconscious chatter (which is my tendency). It'll be interesting, and probably a little eccentric from an outsiders view point, but hopefully there won't be too many other people around.
I think it might be good to experiment with some oddball practices, not take ourselves too seriously, it keeps us humble

PhoenixJ

The unfortunate thing- now I think globally is any person with serious problems- with a rage will copy-cat these sorts of things.

MariahGayle

Things are spiraling out of control in this world.

2 days is great Obo.....you've done better than me. I'm going to connect with some people locally for support today. Have a good day All

freein14

Hi Mariah, are you aware of the main triggers that keep pulling you back? Something seems to be sabotaging your efforts at the moment. I hope you find the support you need today. It's good to see you posting a bit more, I think it will help
Btw, are you still looking after the little bunny?

obosob

Full support from me Mariah.

It's not easy when you're in it.

I'm still mental but it's calming down. Nerves are shot......

Friday morning here. I'm in for the bargain and will be around all weekend.

Drawing up a plan.

Counting crosses on the wall.

Back in the fight.

Dee74

I really recommend a good recovery plan guys.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

No matter how long you've been at this you can teach an old dog new tricks

D

freein14

Thanks Dee, that's such useful information - even now, I find recovery advice really helpful. Especially the bits about long term recovery, setting goals and managing time. All good stuff for me to review.

I had a lovely walk with my friend yesterday. We had planned to use the walk as a "presence practice", but it ended up just an excuse to chatter! So although neither of us ended up enlightened beings, it was very therapeutic to discuss some of my worries (mainly parent related stuff). It was helpful to hear that she too is supporting her own elderly parent, which is giving her similar challenges.

It's wonderful how I can feel secure enough to chat openly with friends these days. While I was drinking, my conversations were fairly superficial, and lacked any real depth or authenticity. Now I can chat about how I really feel about stuff, without feeling awkward, and it seems to help the people around me too.

I think people in recovery make the most authentic friends. But I'm probably a bit biased

Dee74

me too Freein

Hope everyone has a great sober weekend

obosob

Yes. Thanks Dee. Great reading and good to remember.

Footy and pasta....

topspin

.

Me three Freein !

MariahGayle

In for the bargain......I've got to do this. Will post tonight