Class of March 2013 Part 50
I didn't sleep worth a darn last night. Grrrr
a little on the crabby side and when I was lying there starring into the dark I did
think that a drink would put me to sleep but, It didn't stay with me very long. I'm very thankful to be sober today and will make it through this day just fine.
hugs to you PJ and glad to see you Trach
Have a good day everyone !
Babs
P.S. Trach---I would luv to drive one of those -----YAHHHH WHOOO
a little on the crabby side and when I was lying there starring into the dark I did
think that a drink would put me to sleep but, It didn't stay with me very long. I'm very thankful to be sober today and will make it through this day just fine.
hugs to you PJ and glad to see you Trach
Have a good day everyone !
Babs
P.S. Trach---I would luv to drive one of those -----YAHHHH WHOOO
HOEW ARE THE ADOPTER'S TODAY? Sore and weary today- when I got the stresses, I hurt and get reeeeeal tired. Burns thing- even tho I do not sense pain the same way- as a lot of those nerves were fried- the bod. lets me know it is not happy with my behaviour back then. Posting is better than booze- it's cheaper. SO ONCE AGAIN, IT IS NICE HAVING SUCH CHEAP FRIENDS AS YOU GUYS- 'COS YOUSE ARE ALL SO SWELL!
I want on! I want it for Spain.
Babs I haven't been sleeping great, mostly its waking up to mums cough several times a night, she had one really bad attack in the early hours. I have had to come to terms with my own long term bouts of insomnia. Due to my drinking, I never realised quite how bad it gets. I do know that while drinking put me out, the quality of sleep I got was not restorative. And then there are the other aspects that come with the nightcap! No, better to listen to a sleep app and hope for the best!
Mum was up for most of yesterday which is a big result, but her convalescence is going to be slow as it has completely wiped her out. On the plus side, dad is doing much better, his catheter is out, he is getting daily physio and feeling much better in himself. He is somewhat delusional about what he thinks mom will be capable of doing for him ( a frail seventy nine year old pushing a 290lb -21 stone- man around a carpeted house?!!!) I keep trying to get him to understand she will not be able to do anything for him, so if he wants to be at home rather than respite care he needs to be working harder. He is very self absorbed, and sees nothing wrong in constantly calling her from wherever she is in the house for something insignificant. This has warn her down over the years. He blames looking after my dog and her golf. - both things that she needs to get her out the house and away from his constant 'me,me,me'!
Babs I haven't been sleeping great, mostly its waking up to mums cough several times a night, she had one really bad attack in the early hours. I have had to come to terms with my own long term bouts of insomnia. Due to my drinking, I never realised quite how bad it gets. I do know that while drinking put me out, the quality of sleep I got was not restorative. And then there are the other aspects that come with the nightcap! No, better to listen to a sleep app and hope for the best!
Mum was up for most of yesterday which is a big result, but her convalescence is going to be slow as it has completely wiped her out. On the plus side, dad is doing much better, his catheter is out, he is getting daily physio and feeling much better in himself. He is somewhat delusional about what he thinks mom will be capable of doing for him ( a frail seventy nine year old pushing a 290lb -21 stone- man around a carpeted house?!!!) I keep trying to get him to understand she will not be able to do anything for him, so if he wants to be at home rather than respite care he needs to be working harder. He is very self absorbed, and sees nothing wrong in constantly calling her from wherever she is in the house for something insignificant. This has warn her down over the years. He blames looking after my dog and her golf. - both things that she needs to get her out the house and away from his constant 'me,me,me'!
PJ meant to add you into that post, I know yesterday would have been emotional, you are beginning to have to live with the results of your drinking and the problems it caused. I don't know whether your familial relationships are down to the ex or down to the self absorbtion of active addiction over time. End result is the same any way I guess, and you are finding a way of living with it. I feel your determination to invest yourself in your recovery shows a strong positive person who intends to find a way to live a full life again. I have absolutely no doubt that you will.
Hugs all and appreciation for your continued thoughts/prayers for my folks. Is it too selfish of me to hope to get back out to Spain for a day or two next week and see my hubby? Perhaps, but I do anyway. If I don't do that, I have no idea when I will next see him, because realistically I need to be around when father first comes home to see what his need are and that they are being met by social care rather than my mum.
Hugs all and appreciation for your continued thoughts/prayers for my folks. Is it too selfish of me to hope to get back out to Spain for a day or two next week and see my hubby? Perhaps, but I do anyway. If I don't do that, I have no idea when I will next see him, because realistically I need to be around when father first comes home to see what his need are and that they are being met by social care rather than my mum.
PJ, gentle I can't imagine what you have been and are going through. I admire especially your attitude and determination and how far you have come. I am very happy that you decided to adopt the Marchers.
Phoenix, you never cease to amaze me with your determination and strength. I can't compare what we're going through but I have broken down more than once and I want to tell you that I've thought of you and what you've been through and how hard you are working and how you are moving forward and rebuilding. Well, not to get all emotional but I admire you and you are an inspiration to me.
I had a hard time the last few days, probably the worst days of my life. I felt major "grief" over going from being a full-time mom to half a mom. I know! Still a mom but having my kids half time. I did not manage it well BUT I allowed myself to feel it. I truly grieved my old life and I am actually proud of myself that I didn't try to squelch it - I literally let myself feel the pain and sadness and anger and I came out on the other side. I know it's a process! I know that there will be more painful moments, but I'll be ready to face them head on. I guess that's life, right? We all have pain and we all have to work through it. I believe it's called being human.
Toots, that's a lot. For you and your mom. I hope you do get to go to Spain next week. Caregivers need to look after themselves first. You've got a lot on your plate and you need a little break and a little hubby time.
I had a hard time the last few days, probably the worst days of my life. I felt major "grief" over going from being a full-time mom to half a mom. I know! Still a mom but having my kids half time. I did not manage it well BUT I allowed myself to feel it. I truly grieved my old life and I am actually proud of myself that I didn't try to squelch it - I literally let myself feel the pain and sadness and anger and I came out on the other side. I know it's a process! I know that there will be more painful moments, but I'll be ready to face them head on. I guess that's life, right? We all have pain and we all have to work through it. I believe it's called being human.
Toots, that's a lot. For you and your mom. I hope you do get to go to Spain next week. Caregivers need to look after themselves first. You've got a lot on your plate and you need a little break and a little hubby time.
Duffy- yep feelings suck. I did not have affirmed feelings as a kid- from what my dear old ma told me 9daed now0 I was created to save their marriage. Then I was just left to be- no input positive or negative. So booze woke something up- 20 years too late. By then the die was cast. It was only through getting fried I discovered the blody things will not be ignored. So now I sit, as you and many damaged souls- to repair, accept and heal. Not to live back ten- but to TRY and embrace the gift of life , whatever the crap that means- cope and believe- with hope stuff does get better. Spiritual awakening/ HA! More like spiritual shock treatment. Oh well to feel anything is elemental and raw. So we all scream at the absurdity together- perhaps we are the more sane of people for it.
Remember to look after your basic needs- rest, food and water. Empathy to you. You show strength and a grounded awareness.
Remember to look after your basic needs- rest, food and water. Empathy to you. You show strength and a grounded awareness.
Hi All,
Another long weekend here in Hillbilly Buddville. Took yesterday and today as vacation days and we are not scheduled this weekend.
Traded in my little car for an SUV last week. I loved my little Chevy but I need more cargo space too often as well as the peace of mind of all wheel drive next winter when the snows hit.
Just got back from the Vet, Aunt Bee went in to get spayed, she's still buzzed and trying not to fall asleep, but sleep keeps winning.
Nature Boy goes in for his surgery next month. He's getting bigger, around 25 lbs now. I doubt he'll get much bigger though, being the runt.
Still getting used to the weather here. I'm not used to the highs and lows being so different, it was in the low 50's this morning and now it's in the mid 80's. South Florida rarely varied more than 10 degrees from one day to the next.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Another long weekend here in Hillbilly Buddville. Took yesterday and today as vacation days and we are not scheduled this weekend.
Traded in my little car for an SUV last week. I loved my little Chevy but I need more cargo space too often as well as the peace of mind of all wheel drive next winter when the snows hit.
Just got back from the Vet, Aunt Bee went in to get spayed, she's still buzzed and trying not to fall asleep, but sleep keeps winning.
Nature Boy goes in for his surgery next month. He's getting bigger, around 25 lbs now. I doubt he'll get much bigger though, being the runt.
Still getting used to the weather here. I'm not used to the highs and lows being so different, it was in the low 50's this morning and now it's in the mid 80's. South Florida rarely varied more than 10 degrees from one day to the next.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
I wish it was that easy, but unless my mum improves hugely in the next couple of days, it's not gonna happen. also, if my dad gets discharged next week I need to be around to see what he is capable of.
I tend to make decisions around my parents too Toots.
Hope this isn't tactless - it's not meant to be - but each time I see them I'm reminded more and more they won't be there forever.
Even with all the tensions we've had I still treasure those times now.
D
Hope this isn't tactless - it's not meant to be - but each time I see them I'm reminded more and more they won't be there forever.
Even with all the tensions we've had I still treasure those times now.
D
(((Duff)))! Your boys are so fortunate to have you as their mom!
Toots, huge I do know how difficult it can be to even partially care for aging parents. Like Dee, now I look back and treasure the times I had with them. At the time, though, I resented it. All normal but definitely one of the hardest things to live through.
Hi Budd! Good to see you and glad Aunt Bee and NB are doing well.
Babs, all kinds of relationships change when we stay sober. I still think that my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk. It's such an empowering feeling to wake up in the morning with no regrets about the night before!
PJ
Toots, huge I do know how difficult it can be to even partially care for aging parents. Like Dee, now I look back and treasure the times I had with them. At the time, though, I resented it. All normal but definitely one of the hardest things to live through.
Hi Budd! Good to see you and glad Aunt Bee and NB are doing well.
Babs, all kinds of relationships change when we stay sober. I still think that my worst day sober is better than my best day drunk. It's such an empowering feeling to wake up in the morning with no regrets about the night before!
PJ
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
First - belated congrats to Babs on a year. I too am goal oriented, so when I achieve a goal, I get down as well. So I just make sure there are always goals in the pipeline. Now go get another year! I'm already counting down until the big 5 lol. That's how much being sober means to me.
I finally did it. Cross off all my T's and dotted the I's for work. I am officially on my honeymoon vacation and we leave tomorrow. So excited, but also a bit nervous considering how much effort planning this whole thing has been (thanks to the special someone who helped us tremendously ). I just want things to go off without a hitch but I know that's probably not going to happen so I'll try to just take things in stride and enjoy the beauty that is St. Lucia.
Married life is good. Just like pre-married life but I get a shiny ring to play with. We've decided to continue with the marital counseling on a monthly basis. Not that anything is wrong. But it's good to have the opportunity to discuss tough issues with a professional and deal with things as they come, rather then let stuff fester up over the years. I actually enjoy therapy.
On a personal note - thinking about making a change with my job. Some stuff has come up at the firm level regarding cutting of compensation and benefits that directly affects me. I'm due for a major promotion in July but am nervous about what my base and bonus will look like. It may not be worth all the 70 hours weeks and travel. We'll see. I already have my ear to the ground for outside opportunities.
See you guys in mid-May!
I finally did it. Cross off all my T's and dotted the I's for work. I am officially on my honeymoon vacation and we leave tomorrow. So excited, but also a bit nervous considering how much effort planning this whole thing has been (thanks to the special someone who helped us tremendously ). I just want things to go off without a hitch but I know that's probably not going to happen so I'll try to just take things in stride and enjoy the beauty that is St. Lucia.
Married life is good. Just like pre-married life but I get a shiny ring to play with. We've decided to continue with the marital counseling on a monthly basis. Not that anything is wrong. But it's good to have the opportunity to discuss tough issues with a professional and deal with things as they come, rather then let stuff fester up over the years. I actually enjoy therapy.
On a personal note - thinking about making a change with my job. Some stuff has come up at the firm level regarding cutting of compensation and benefits that directly affects me. I'm due for a major promotion in July but am nervous about what my base and bonus will look like. It may not be worth all the 70 hours weeks and travel. We'll see. I already have my ear to the ground for outside opportunities.
See you guys in mid-May!
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