sugarangel

Hi guys,
On day 2 here. I hesitate to say that, because I relapse so often, I am now afraid to put a number to my days. But, here I am again, so may as well acknowledge it.
Ugh, I feel terrible. Not as bad as if I had gone through a full blown relapse this time, but still bad enough. I can't sleep and my stomach is all cramped up. My whole body aches, and I have some things I need to do this am. I am hoping I can limp through what I need to do with some sort of normalcy and then come home and crawl back into bed and not move til like Monday. Oh, that sounds really good!!
Nice to see all the new faces. I am glad you are all here!!
Congrats to everyone on whatever day you are on. Even one day can be a painful eternity. Sometimes even just one minute. So, good job to all of you!! Give yourselves lots of credit. And be kind to yourselves. Getting sober is hard, really hard, but someone here once told me that if it wasn't worth it, no one would do it.
Happy Friday, peeps!!

sugarangel

I so understand this. I have someone in my life who makes me so crazy I want to use every time I am around her. We have such epic fights, and she can make me feel like the absolute biggest piece of crap. She was a big part of why I relapsed this last time.
The thing is, I realized this time that while she was laying in bed, sleeping the sleep of the self justified, I was up sick and jonesing because I had allowed her actions and behavior to con me into using one more time. Because I was mad and hurt. But, who ultimately really suffers in the end?? We do. Using didn't make anything better. It just made me sick, prolonged my wds, and gave me more reasons to hate myself. Just another thing for me to 'get over'. And, even though she may have lit the match, I let it burn. So now, I am sick and have to start over again, and I have no one to blame but myself. And, the problem is still there. Only now I can't deal with it because I have to deal with this. Using or drinking is just not the answer. Now I have two people to be angry at. Her. And me.
I hope this helps a little. I can really relate to your post. Thank you for sharing.
And, thanks everyone for the tips on dealing with cravings. They really help.

Jlg76

Scrainblaugh: go to the top of the first post on whichever page and there a couple drop down items. Pick "thread tools" and on the drop down pick "subscribe". It will give you some notification options and then you submit. Welcome!

Scrainblaugh

Thanks so much!!

Northlander

Big love from the class of March 2013. You can do this Marchers - it gets so much better and is so worth it.

mandosca

Took a big step today. I've slowly been telling my husband that I have a drinking problem over the last year but because I was so embarrassed about it I kind of downplayed it, acted like it wasnt completely out of control. Well it backfired on me because when I would become weak and ask him to get me something to drink, it wouldn't take much convincing to get him to do it. Well today I told him the real truth (texting). I told him how I frequently can't remember the night before and how I'm afraid I'll hurt myself falling someday. He told me he had no idea it was that bad. I guess because I've always been the strong one it was hard to admit I needed help. Anyways, I feel better now, though I'm still kind of dreading facing him tonight...

I hope everyone is doing well and is able to have a great sober/hangover free weekend. I also really appreciate everyone's posts and stories. It really does help being able to talk to people that understand.

stillsleeping

Hello wonderful people

Well, after dicking around with lots of half-hearted attempts since Christmas, I've finally committed to this. And omg it's such a relief. Am on day 3, or night 3 I guess - it's nighttime here, and am going strong. Feel awful but have kept myself busy with lots of little chores, tiring myself out for bed. It's really good to read your stories, even the sad ones, and to know that whatever else has gone wrong, we haven't given up on ourselves...

Ace to see you again Sweetie

Jlg76

Mandosca: I just went through a similar thing with my long term boyfriend. He knows I drink too much. I would quit and he would just let it go again. This time I told him how sick my body got this and every time previous and he listened. I hope he gets it. Otherwise, just one of us taking it seriously won't work. Should have made him sit with me all two dozen times I sat and dry heaved, the other stuff and shook. He was in his shop or at work for all the good stuff. Keep at it. A sober weekend.

OscarDoes

Day three, making bread. Smells good. Now just need some provolone and good salami. BTW, you dont need a bread maker it is pretty easy to make if you need a distraction!

Elke516

Wishing you all a good and sober weekend. Stay close to SR, reading, writing, every little helps.

I will not drink today.

asixstringnut

Glad to see you all here. I will have 7 days after today. A milestone for me.
Looking forward to posting starting on week 2.
Be safe and sober this weekend.

asixstringnut

Dee74

Welcome scrainblaugh and stillsleeping

Congrats to all the milestones here guys - no matter what day it is, it's a good day to be in recovery

I hope you'll feel better soon sugarangel

D

Scrainblaugh

Thanks for the welcome. I'm amazed and feeling very content to be going to sleep sober on a Friday night for the first time in 7 months! It feels really good at the moment.

mandosca

I agree, definitely need as much support and strength from him as I can get too. Sober Recovery is awesome but I can't be on it 24/7 :-)

I was very good at hiding everything from him. Even when he asked me questions about things that happened the night before. I had become very good at answering him in a way that gave me time to put the pieces together and figure out what the hell happened.. That is so sad that that is what my life has come to. All the sneaking and lying and hiding thing!

I hope your boyfriend and my husband begin to understand the severity of our problems soon, if not we are just going to have to spend even more time on here! :-)

mandosca

I disagree.. lol.. I am told I am a pretty good cook but every time I try to make bread its a disaster!!!

Jlg76

The worst baker ever! Equals me. Super cook. I was better when I was tipsy but I'll find my way. But seriously, I was a master of hiding it until I stopped caring about hiding it...about the last 7 mos. That's just sad...when you're too lazy to cover up your drunken stumbles, stories, indiscretions. Calling your mom super buzzed when she still thinks you're sober from two years ago. (That's a whole other set of guilt). First Friday in as long as I can remember sober. Day 6 is coming to a close. I'll probably be posting a lot tomorrow as I have to go back to the tavern job for 6.5 hours.

Asa

About to go to sleep, so I'm halfway through this weekend... hoping and praying for the second sober weekend in a row, first time in six years.

Dee74

good for you Asa
D

stillsleeping

Okay, it's now 07:23 of day 4. I successfully filled 05:00 - 06:30 by cuddling the dog, then spent an hour making oxtail stew to slow-cook in time for lunch at one. Back to cuddling the dog for an hour, then we're going to walk for a couple of miles, buy some new fish and then clean out the tanks. And I reckon when that's done, darling H should be back from work. And I'll be ready for a nap.

Haven't figured out this evening yet, but so far so good...

Good luck today all. Hope you sleep in later than I did xx

Bebrave

Day 3-- it's been going okay! Like I said yesterday though I'm on a family vacation with my husband, daughter and granddaughter so I'm out of my routine.

I didn't mention earlier I've been having some upper abdominal pain and nausea that feels like gallbladder but I don't have one any more! I'm a little nervous about that. But it makes not drinking a little easier.

I'll see my doc I feel it doesn't go away. Have a good healthy and sober day everyone!